Behind Closed Doors
3*99

"Lady Une has ordered that the pilots remain untouched until after the testing of the new Mobile suits.  She wants nothing to interfere in their performance.  Nothing."  He stated it in a cold voice, staring down at the Oz soldiers and the long haired boy they were holding down.

/Now we're even/  No name, now Trowa, thought.

Hard hands tore away at his clothes, ragged fingernails tearing deep into his skin.  His cheek scraped against the rought pavement as a heavy body pressed him hard against the ground.  He couldn't fight against the sheer brute strength of this man... he couldn't give voice to the hysterical scream lodged in his throat or to the low moan of fear.  So the boy with No Name closed his eyes, he knew what would happen next.  If he stayed quiet and still, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much this time.  Maybe...

"Oi~~! Teme!  Don't you have better things to do than this."  A brash voice called out immediately followed by the loud sound of flesh against metal.  The rancid body above him let out a grunt before stiffening and falling limp against him in an obscene sort of parody of what could have happened...

With much grumbling and a steady stream of curses, his unexpected rescuer heaved the deadweight off.  Trembling, the silent boy curled up on the cool pavement, his head turned to the side.  Next to him was the slack face of his attacker, mouth fallen open in shock and eyes rolled up to show bloodshot yellowed eyes.  He promptly gagged.

A hand shook his shoulder, and he peered up... and blinked rapidly.  His rescuer was ...a girl?  A long braid of chestnut fell over one shoulder while large violet eyes looked down.  The delicate mouth opened... and shattered all possibilites that the person leaning above him was a girl.  Involuntarily, he winced, no girl would talk quite like _that_   While one part of his mind remained detached and observed, another part of him withdrew... feeling the cold of the pavement seep in.

"Oi.  You planning to get up anytime soon?"  He slowly raised himself to a sitting position.  "Man, oh man.  Why the hell weren't you fighting him off for?  Bastards like that...."  The long braided boy emphasized his statement with two rapid kicks at the unconscious man's gut.  "Like so."  The boy turned once more with a wide grin, but something in those dark eyes... Cold and too knowing under the ragged bangs, they clearly stated that if he had a viable weapon... the attacker would be dead within a hearbeat.

"Hmmm, you don't talk much do you?"  The slim black clad boy shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets, eyes still shadowed but now hidden behind the broadly grinning smile.  "I--"  A shout interrupted whatever the boy was about to say.  "K'so.  I've got to be going now.  Got some people looking for me."  A flash of a cheeky grin before he sped off in the opposite direction of the shouts.  "Ja!!"

The brown haired boy slowly picked himself up, absently rubbing at his sore face, all sorts of aches and scratches making themselves known.  He stared down at the prone figure and gave it a swift kick several times, then made his way down the street as well.

He carefully checked the semi conscious body, not blinking when Duo let out a muffled curse and took a swing at his head.  Dilated violet eyes blinked several times before focusing slowly.  "Heh... S'it's you."  Those eyes suddenly widened in awareness and narrowed as they noticed his uniform.

Trowa thought briefly to knock the other boy unconscious again, but Duo suddenly snorted and closed his eyes again.  "Ch'  Captured."  He sighed dramatically, even while wincing at the ache it caused in his ribs.  "Shinigami must be la~~ughing his head off right now."

"The other pilots, Heery Yuy and Wufei Chang, have been captured as well."  He didn't know why he had offered that piece of information... Maybe to push a reaction out of the otherwise complacent American.  Yuy was his lover after all.

Duo let out a snort.  "So the Perfect Soldier is here too?"  A hint of a smile played around those wide lips.  Trowa shrugged minutely and continued to watch the other boy from beneath his lashes.  How could he bear to have anyone touch him...

Thoughts of a golden haired pilot drifted into his mind, sparking off .. something.  Desire.  To touch that soft blonde hair and skin.  To feel those soft pink lips.  Revulsion at the thought of doing so.  Fear.  Of rejection, of being touched.  He watched the American drift off to sleep.  How did he...

"C'mon Heero."  Duo's hoarse whisper filled the room.  The American taunted the other pilot, face split in a wide grin, empty of all humor, teeth bared almost in a grimace.  The muted light in the darkened room cast strange shadows over Duo's face, one minute he was happy.. the next he seemed to be crying.  But always with a smile.

Heero turned away from that face, that smile.  "Don't."  He spat out that one word, fists clenching and unclenching... visibly trembling.  The mission had been a failure tonight, but the surge of adrenaline remained the same, the urge to... He started violently as Duo's arms enfolded him from behind.  The low seductive voice breathed into his ear.  "You know you want to.  C'mon, Heero."  Those arms slid down, and one hand reached over to cup the hard bulge.  "C'mon, Heero."

The Japanese boy shuddered and let the hollow roaring in his ears fill his mind... his body.  He grabbed Duo's hands hard and pulled the boy around.  For a minute,  he looked into Duo's eyes... and the rage and self loathing within those violet eyes echoed his own.  "Fuck..."  Heero ate at that mouth, the one that never ceased to mock him with that smile.  He bit at the bottom lip, drawing blood.  He wanted to fight against something, hit something, anything to get rid of the wave of violence surging in his blood.  But there was only Duo.  Duo urging him on, Duo mocking him... Duo...

Duo smiled triumphantly, tasting the blood on his lips.  It was always only a matter of time before Heero cracked, whether the mission was a failure or success.  He bit back, unflinching when Heero's hands roughly yanked at his hair.  This was what he wanted.  Heero's hands rough, uncaring.  This was what he deserved.

/A voice crooned.  "Little boy, this is what you wanted.  Just stay still and it won't hurt."

And that voice was right.  He had sought the older man, hoping for money... food, secretly knowing what the trade would be, still hoping that this one would be different and wouldn't...  He had wanted this. He deserved this. /

Hands roughly stripping him of his clothes, eventually ripping away at threads that wouldn't give.  Hot hard lips biting roughly down on exposed skin, leavin bruises and bloodied marks.  Duo knew what to say, how to touch, to push Heero into this frenzy.  And he did.

Heero watched the face below him, even as he paused before penetrating the body.  Duo's eyes were closed, they always were; beautiful face set in pleasure/pain.  Why did he...  It didn't have to be this way, it could be different.  But Duo always wanted this, knowing how to draw Heero into this mindless red haze.  Heero couldn't help but follow the seductive slide into madness.  To feel anything, to be driven into a world where emotions overode everything including cold duty... A small voice whispered, reminded him, but this is not what it should be.  Duo deserved...

Duo, eyes still closed against the sight above him, whispered, "C'mon Heero.  You know you want to."  If he opened his eyes, the sight above him wouldn't be the face of his lover... they would open on the sight of some drooling middle aged man, a family man having some fun... or the countless faces that spun in his mind, reaching for him once more...

Heero, always watching Duo's face... watching those eyes that never opened,  lunged forward.  Always... always it was like this.  Duo, why....

He watched the American pilot closely.  That one, how could he laugh, smile?  Didn't it hurt?  No matter how empty those faces were... To simply have that ability to express oneself.  Once more his thoughts ranged to the blonde, currently away on family business.  The rain splattered gently against the windows within the small apartment, himself and the American being the only occupants.

Heero and Duo had been using this safehouse for some time; he had only joined them this morning.  And wondered as he always did, how could Duo...

Suddenly those wide violet eyes filled his sight as Duo stopped in front of Trowa, peering into the other boy's face.  "If you keep making those faces, Trowa, your face will freeze that way."  The American gave him a friendly smile before turning away.  How could he...

"Duo."

"Hmm?"

"How... how can you..."

"How can I what?  Make omelettes?  Wear a priest's outfit and manage to maintain my sex appeal?  Keep my hair in such fine condition?"

"You and Heero, how can you..."

Duo stopped and paused before giving Trowa a strange, unreadable look.  "It's just sex."  He smiled at Trowa's confusion.

/How can you.../

"Trowa, I love you."

Someoned loved him?  Someone cared for this hollowed shell?  Perhaps this fragile looking blonde boy, standing with such hope in his blue eyes, would be the one who could understand, who could help him...

Perhaps he would be the one to help him out of the shadows that surrounded his sleeping moments, the numbness that prevailed his waking ones.  Maybe the warmth in those eyes could...

"Trowa, let me..."

No, the warm light of affection was too bright, too eager.  He wasn't the one.  The blonde boy had the same look as the other men had.  Eager warm hands fumbling for his clothes, gentler but they were the same.  Hot, wet mouth on his mouth and skin, more hesitant but they were the same.  His face froze, throat tightening, mouth locked shut to keep from screaming and protesting.  But the other boy didn't notice, he didn't really care, no one did.

"Oh Trowa..."

Quatre wasn't the one.  Trowa felt himself drifting into that void, his only escape.  Somewhere were he could hide, fall to his knees, and scream.

/Help me... Someone.../

/Duo, How can you.../

"Is it love then?"  The words came unbidden.

Duo's bright eyes peered at him curiously.  "Love?"  The boy laughed, a piercingly sharp sound from the usually deep voice.  The American shook his head in amusement and came to a stop before him.  Duo leaned forward, soft breath touching Trowa's dry lips, violet locked onto green.

Trowa would have recoiled at the sudden contact and unbearable closeness, but those eyes, always bright and shining with some sort of emotion, were now as empty as his own.  Reflecting, clearer than the mirrors Trowa always avoided, the never ending scream of a lost and helpless child locked behind them.

"Trowa... there is no such thing as love."  Instead of the cynicism and mocking that should have marked those words, there was a wisfulness and longing, as if the speaker wished they were false. The American gently brushed a kiss against Trowa's lips, a chaste whisper of a touch, barely felt.  And it evoked no memories, no faces, because Duo understood.

Trowa closed his eyes as Duo pressed another kiss, this time against his forehead, then all along that slim solemn face.  In that short moment, he almost felt protected, cared for.

Duo ran light hands through the shock of soft light brown hair, smiling sadly, for once the hard edges of his smile gentled.  Trowa... How can you still be so trusting.  But he would offer whatever comfort he could at this time, he understood the silence and dead eyes, knew there was something more behind them.

/Duo, maybe you can.../

In the still room, two slim boys leaned against one another, breathing soft, eyes closed.  For a moment, they were safe and sheltered.
 

Again... another fics which may or may not get sequeled ^_^;;  We'll see...

Back to the Fanfics!