Trowa Barton's Day Off
by: Tigress Pern

He, he. I'm in a fic writing mood. This was inspired
after watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off a while back.

SD Wufei- What do you mean a while back, you just saw
it yesterday.

No, no, the time before that when I wasn't feeling
well.

SD Wufei- Oh... You've seen it too many times.

It keeps coming on TV sheesh....Anyway....

***************
Disclaimer: I don't own ANY of it. 'nuf said.
***************

Trowa Barton's Day Off.

Catherine opened the door a crack and peering inside.
He didn't move. Cautiously she stepped into the
room.
"Trowa?"
The boy in the bed still didn't move. She stood over
him feeling a knot of dread develop in her stomach.
"Trowa?" Catherine asked again, this time daring to
touch the sleeping form. Trowa stirred and opened his
eyes.
"Trowa? Why aren't you up and dressed? You have
school in thirty minutes." She said in a worried tone.
"I don't feel well." He replied slowly. Catherine
felt his forehead.
"You don't feel hot." Trowa rolled over onto his
stomach moaning quietly. Catherine's face furrowed
and she grabbed his hands. "My God! They're cold and
clammy. I don't know what you've got, but you're not
going to school."
"But I have a test." Trowa said, punctuating the last
words with a coughing fit.
"You're staying home and that's FINAL." Catherine
stated in a no-nonsense voice. "Now, I have to go out
for most of the day." She began to walk towards the
door. "But I'll call the school before I leave. Get
some rest."
"Mmm." Trowa agreed thankful that he was to be left
alone to sleep. He rolled over, pulling the covers
about him. Catherine took one last look at her
"brother" before softly closing the door behind her.
Trowa waited until he heard her drive away before
getting up. Still wrapped in his blanket, he wandered
to the window and stared out at the now empty
driveway. In the distance he could see Catherine's
car making a left and heading for the highway. The
blanket slipped off his shoulders, landing on the
floor.
"YES."

* * *

The bell rang. Zechs glanced up from his desk. Why
he'd agreed to go undercover at this school was beyond
him. He couldn't remembering being drunk or under the
influence of any drugs, so why had he said yes? Being
stuck at this high school was bad enough, what was
worse was that Lady Une was there too. She was posing
as the Dean of Students and he was her secretary.
What an awful blow to his ego, not to mention is
reputation.
The homerooms were already sending their attendance
information to him. His computer lit up with names of
students present and absent that day. Sighing, he
dutifully sent the information to Lady Une's computer.
As he hit the final key, the phone rang. Zechs
picked it up.
"Dean of Students office." He said.
"Can I speak to the Dean herself please?"
"I'll transfer you over to her. Hold please." He
held the receiver, then leaned backwards in his chair
so that he could look through the open door that
separated his tiny office from Une's. "Dean, you have
a call on line 3."
"Thank you." Une replied picking up the phone.
"Hello, Dean of Students. Ms. Une speaking."
"Yes, my name is Catherine and I'm calling to say
that my "brother", Trowa Barton, won't be in school
today. He's very ill." Une's fingers tapped the keys
on her computer until the file marked Trowa Barton
appeared on the screen.
"Are you aware that your brother has missed 9 days so
far this semester?" Une asked still staring at the
screen. There was a shocked moment of silence before
Catherine spoke.
"Nine? I don't remember him being sick 9 days?"
Une's hand tightened around the phone.
"That's probably because he wasn't ill. He was
playing hooky."
"I doubt that, there has been some mistake. Anyway, I
can assure you that Trowa is very sick. I debated
whether to leave him or not, but I couldn't back out
of my plans." Une narrowed her eyes while Catherine
continued to babble. "I can assure you that Trowa is
home, asleep, in his own bed." The file now read that
Trowa Barton had been absent.8..7.6.5..4..3.2 days.
Une covered the phone.
"Zechs." She growled. "ZECHS!" Zechs poked his head
in. Une pointed to the screen and snarled. I'll get
him, she told herself as she hung up the phone. Zechs
couldn't figure out what she was so flustered about.

* * *

Trowa sat back from his computer. Now that that
loose end had been dealt with, he could move on to
part two of his plan. Quickly and methodically he
prepared his room and the rest of the house for
today's mission. When all the preparations had been
made, he calmly dialed the phone. A sleepy voice
answered.
"Hello?"
"Wufei, this is Trowa. Get up and get dressed."
"Can't. I'm sick." Trowa raised one visible eyebrow.
"No, you're not. You just think you are."
"I'm not worthy to pilot Nataku. I'm not getting out
of this bed."
"You only believe you are because Treize defeated
you."
"I was disgraced. I'm not worthy." Wufei countered.
Trowa sighed.
"I have a plan to defeat Treize." He said blandly.
Trowa waited, knowing that he had Wufei's full
attention now. "It's too dangerous discussing it over
the phone. Come over to my house and I'll fill you
in." Wufei was silent. Trowa counted to ten praying
that it would work, he knew Wufei needed to get over
his defeat and move on. "This plan will bring Treize
to his knees." Trowa added.
"Give me ten minutes."

To be continued....................

__________________________________________________

I'm back with part 2, now that Yahoo is more or less
cooperating. ::twirls Heero's gun, Heero glares from
other side of room::

Heero: I want that back.

In due time. In due time. Now let me post this fic.

Heero: Hn.

*********************
Disclaimer: I don't own them. 'nuf said.
*********************

Trowa Barton's Day Off part 2

Heero sat in class listening to his new teacher call
roll. It was only first period and already Ms. Noin
was sounding irritated. He didn't know why or
particularly care. Glancing about he noted that
neither Wufei nor Trowa were in class yet. Trowa
wasn't normally late, Wufei was.
"Barton?" Noin called looking for the familiar banged
boy. "Barton?"
"He's sick." Relena Darlian said from the middle of
the fourth row. "The leader of my fan club's
brother's girlfriend knows the boy who was with the
girl, who dated the boy, that's seeing the girl that
was with the girl whose sister met the boy who saw
Trowa pass out at the 41 FLAVORS last night. They
think it's serious."
"Thank you Relena," Noin said staring at the girl and
not believing that she could say all that in one
breath, much less remember it.
Heero gave a long side-glance at Relena. He wondered
if Trowa was really sick or had been called away on a
mission. Quatre and Duo were both in their normal
seats, but Wufei hadn't arrived yet. He was still
contemplating which Trowa situation was more
plausible, when Sally, the school doctor, walked in.
Noin looked up and noted the doctor's grim expression.
"May I speak to Quatre Winner please?" she asked.
Quatre looked up from the book he'd been reading.
Sally motioned him to join her in the hall. He did.
"I'm sorry I have to tell you this, "Sally began once
the door had been closed behind him. "But, your
father just called. Your sister died." Quatre's eyes
filled with tears.
"No," he whispered. "Not my sister."
"I'm sorry." Sally repeated.

* * *

"His sister?" Lady Une said looking up warily at
Zechs.
"That's what his father said." Zechs informed her,
twirling a pencil in his elegant fingers. He was
bored at his post and wanted out. He'd rather be in
Tallgeese hunting down the Gundam pilots. Not here,
anywhere but here.
"Is this boy seeing anyone?" Une asked.
"No, although he does tend to hang out with Trowa
Barton and."
"BARTON!" Lady Une exclaimed slamming her fists into
the wood of her desk. "That boy has Winner wrapped up
in his truant schemes, I just know it!" Suddenly the
phone rang and Une had to stop mid tirade to answer
it. "Hello."
"This is Mr. Winner."
"Yes, Mr. Winner?"
"As you may have heard we've had a death in the
family this morning."
"Yes," Une said coolly. "So I've heard."
"I would like to pick up Quatre so that we may take
care of funeral arrangements."
"Oh, I'd like to let Quatre out, but first I need to
see a body."
"What?"
"If you'll just produce a corpse, I'll produce you're
son."
"Excuse me!" the voice over the phone exclaimed.
Zechs stared at Une and mouthed "what do you think
you're doing?" Une smiled and covered the receiver.
"It's Barton. I'm going to get him this time." She
smiled cruelly.
The phone on Zechs' desk came to life and he leaned
over to pick it up.
"Hello?"
"This is * cough * Trowa Barton. * cough *" Zechs
tried not to smile.
"Hold please." He pressed the hold button. "Oh,
Lady Une. Trowa Barton on line 1 for you."
Une stopped dean in the middle of a sentence. Her
face became tight as she asked Mr. Winner to hold.
Slowly she pressed the blinking button on her phone.
"Hello Dean? * cough * I'm not feeling well so I was
* cough * wondering if my homework could be * cough *
be dropped by my home by either Duo Maxwell or Heero
Yuy? Thank you." The line went silent. Une stared
at line 4 that Mr. Winner was still on, waiting. She
took a deep breath.
"Mr. Winner, I think I owe you and apology." She
began.
"I should say so!"
"I'll have your son pulled out of class immediately."
"Have him meet me outside the school in fifteen
minutes."
"Hai."
"Remember who you're dealing with 'onna'!" Wufei's
disguised voice rang out. Next to him Trowa smiled.
"Trowa, Trowa Barton." Wufei smiled evilly, nodded
to Trowa before continuing yelling at Une.
"Fifteen minutes outside the school. I want him
there or I'll have a talk with you're superior about
this incident." He slammed the phone down, then
turned to Trowa. Trowa put his coat on and sighed.
"We can't pick up Quatre with your motorcycle. The
Dean would never believe Mr. Winner drives that." He
said at length.
"We'll just have to find a more suitable vehicle."
Wufei replied. "I assume you know where to find one?"
Trowa nodded.
Minutes later they were speeding off towards the
large mansion on the hill. Pulling off the road, they
hid the motorcycle in the brush and snuck towards the
house. For such an expensive home, it wasn't guarded
by either dogs or men. The security system was easily
enough disabled and the two pilots stealthily made
their way to the garage.
Wufei smiled as he gazed upon the collection of
classic cars. His eyes lit to one in particular.
"A 1961 Ferrari, GT-California. Only 100 were ever
made. Very rare, very expensive."
"Very stupid of Treize to leave the garage unlocked."
Trowa interrupted. Wufei licked his lips.
"I'll find the keys."

* * *

Quatre stood in front of the school waiting. Lady
Une stood beside him, arms crossed. She was still
suspicious and wanted to make sure it really was Mr.
Winner who picked up Quatre.
Heero was on his way to class when he noticed Une and
Quatre. He paused long enough to confirm that it was
Quatre before moving on, but Duo's hand stopped him.
"Oi, do you think Quatre will be okay? I mean his
sister just died." Duo asked leaning on his friend.
Heero shrugged.
A red Ferrari pulled into the parking lot. A man in
a long coat and hat sat in the driver's seat. He
climbed out and motioned to Quatre.
"Quatre." The man called. Quatre looked up at Lady
Une.
"My father is here. I must be going. Thank you for
waiting with me." He bowed and hurried down the steps
to the car. His father bent down and Quatre kissed
him on the cheek. Lady Une regarded the action as some
sort of custom associated with that ethnic background
and dismissed it. She moved towards the doors of the
school.
Quatre hopped into the car and glanced at the figure
hidden under a blanket in the back.
"Hello Wufei. Comfortable?"
"No." came his irritated answer. Trowa climbed into
the driver's seat and started the engine. A wry smile
crossed his lips briefly. The he hit the gas and the
car roared away.
Duo and Heero watched the sports car vanish. Both
looked at each other oddly.
"I thought Quatre's father would be taller. At least
six foot." Duo commented.
"Hn." Heero replied.
"You know, Wufei still hasn't made it to class yet
and if we don't get a move on, we'll be late too." Duo
continued tugging on Heero's arm. The braided pilot
led the other back into the building. "You know,
Quatre's father was about the same height as Trowa."
"Hn." Heero answered.

* * *

"So where to?" Quatre asked as they sped down the
highway.
"To the city." Trowa answered. Wufei had uncovered
himself and now sat staring out at the scenery.
"Let's have some fun." He said. Quatre turned around
and stared at the Chinese pilot in shock. It wasn't
like Wufei to say something. Duo yes, but Wufei?
Seeing the confusion in the blond boy's eyes, Wufei
chuckled. "At Treize's expense." He added holding up
a credit card. Quatre's eyes grew big, then he
smiled. Trowa was chuckling softly in the seat next
to him.
"Yes, let's have some fun!" Quatre agreed.
"Today, we're not Gundam pilots." Trowa said
solemnly. Both Quatre and Wufei looked at him.
"Today we are normal boys, out to have the time of our
lives!"
"Wahoo!!" Quatre yelled as Trowa stepped on the gas
and the car jumped from going 55mph to 75mph. Wufei
held on tight to the seat and laughed.
They drove to the downtown area and after seventeen
minutes of circling around, found a fairly inexpensive
parking garage. Pulling in, Trowa stopped the car as
the attendant appeared. Her eyes lit up at the sight
of the classic vehicle.
Quatre and Wufei climbed out as she approached.
Running her hand along the curve of the hood all the
way to the door, she purred as the pilots watched with
dubious expressions.
"Take good care of this car." Trowa stated taking off
the hat he'd used to hide all his hair while he
pretended to be Mr. Winner. His bangs fell back in
their appropriate place as he tossed the hat into the
back seat.
"Yes, SIR!" Hilde said trying to hide the glee she
felt knowing that this fine machine was now in her
care. Trowa handed her the keys and the three boys
exited.
"So where to first?" Trowa asked looking at his
comrades.
"Let's go shopping, then maybe have some lunch."
Quatre suggested. "I know of this antique store that
sells remarkable swords." He began, but Wufei was
already hauling him down the sidewalk.
"Let's go! Lead the way!"
"Wufei, I can't lead if you're dragging me!" Quatre
protested. Trowa snickered and followed the two
arguing boys.
If they had bothered to look behind them at that
moment, they would have seen an overjoyed Hilde
driving the Ferrari out of the garage. She paused
long enough at the entrance for another girl with long
pale blonde hair and forked eyebrows to hop in. Then
she and Dorothy raced away hollering.
"WAHOO!"

__________________________________________________

Okay, here is part 3 of Trowa Barton's Day Off. ^_^
::snickers::

********************
Disclaimer: Not mine in any way shape or form. 'nuf
said.
********************

Trowa Barton's Day Off part 3

"Here, test the weight on this one." Quatre said
handing Wufei another katana. Wufei took the Japanese
weapon in his hands, but it didn't feel right. He put
it back. He scowled at the collection of swords from
all over the world that lay in front of him. For a
moment he contemplated the English broad sword, but
knew it would be too heavy for him.
Quatre grew bored waiting for Wufei to choose, so he
fixed his attention on Trowa. The pilot was making
his way past the large collection of vases and
statuettes. He picked up one statuette of a lioness
and her cubs. Feeling Quatre's eyes upon him, Trowa
gently put it back and walked back over to him.
"Quatre?"
"Hai."
"What do say we get married?" Trowa asked. Quatre
choked and Wufei pretended he hadn't heard the
question.
"Now?"
"I meant after the war." Trowa stated. Wufei tried
not to look embarrassed at the conversation and inched
away from both Trowa and Quatre. Quatre bit his lip
and prayed he wasn't turning red.
"I don't know Trowa. I mean, I hadn't thought about
it. You know, I'd have to deal with Catherine. I
don't really like knives being thrown at me." He said
hoping he didn't sound like an idiot.
"We wouldn't have to live with her. We could find
some quiet island and live out the rest of our lives
happily." Trowa suggested leaning over. Wufei
coughed, causing them both to look at him.
"You two can be cute and cuddly some other time.
Right now I think you're embarrassing the owner." He
pointed towards a very red faced and shocked looking
man behind the counter. Quatre turned and headed for
the far end of the store, while Trowa lingered near
Wufei who was still looking at swords.
Back out on the streets after finding nothing to
purchase, they headed towards a restaurant. It was
the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in the entire
city. Without waiting the three boys entered and
asked to be seated. The concierge glared at them.
"Can I help you gentlemen?" he sneered.
"We'd like a table for three." Trowa said without
flinching.
"And how do you," the man narrowed his eyes at them.
"Expect to pay?" Trowa produced Treize's credit card
and handed it to the man.
"Run a credit check if you wish." Trowa told him.
The man blanched as he read the name on the card.
"That won't be necessary Kushrenada-sama. We'll get
you a table right away. If you'll follow me I think
there is an opening near the indoor garden."
"Excellent." Trowa said without emotion.
"Well, now what?" Quatre asked after they were seated
and given their menus.
"Now, we order." Trowa told him.
"Yeah, anything we want. It's all getting billed to
Treize." Wufei added. He almost sounded delighted.
Quatre was suddenly frightened. "The more expensive,
the better."
"I wonder if lobster is in season." Trowa commented.
"Or maybe oysters on the half shell." Quatre
suggested getting into the spirit of things.

* * *

"Three thousand restaurants in the city and we pick
the one the Romafellar Foundation is holding their
annual `Fun-Fun' luncheon and auction." Wufei muttered
as he, Trowa, and Quatre stood on the steps of the
restaurant. Below them were an assortment of mostly
men and a few women, milling about in fancy clothes.
They were talking and mingling, sizing on another up
so as to figure out whom was worthy or not. Worthy
for what, none of the boys wanted to know. Amongst
the crowd, they spotted a familiar figure. Wufei
snarled and clenched his hands into tight fists.
"We'll be caught for sure. Treize is down there."
Wufei growled. "He'll recognize me."
"Never." Trowa snapped. He pulled sunglasses from
his coat pocket and put them on. Nodding to the other
two, he turned and began down the stairs. The other
two pilots pulled out their own sunglasses, slipped
them on and followed casually behind.
"Your Excellency, are you sure this new plan of yours
will draw those infernal Gundam pilots out into the
open?" a tall man with a gray mustache and beard
asked. Treize nodded.
"Yes, I believe it will." He said calmly. Three
shapes slithered through the crowd heading for the
waiting taxis. Treize turned, they froze and tried to
look inconspicuous. A second man caught Treize's
attention.
"So you've surmised that they are here in this city
and have set agents up at various spots?"
"Yes." The boys bolted for a taxi. Throwing open
the door, they tumbled in and slammed it shut.
"GO!" ordered Trowa. The driver nodded and they
drove away.
"What plan do you think Treize was talking about?"
Quatre wondered aloud as he shoved Wufei off his lap.
Wufei scramble to sit up straight. Trowa tried to
unhook Quatre's jacket from his own with little luck.
He wondered what possessed his love to buy something
with that many buttons and zippers.
"I don't know." Trowa admitted at last managing to
free himself.
"I think he's trying to lure us in the open." Wufei
snarled.
"We won't let that happen." Trowa told them. A sly
smile crossed his face. Quatre's eyes gleamed with
mischief, a look worthy of Duo. Wufei chuckled and
instructed the driver where to drop them off.

* * *

Lady Une drummed her fingers on the desk. Zechs had
gone out to lunch and hadn't returned. She
momentarily wondered if Noin was also missing. She
might even be with him. Yeah, right. They were just
friends, weren't they?
She wasn't completely convinced about Quatre's
innocence. She was certain he and Trowa were up to
something. Of all the students at this deplorable
school, Trowa was the only one she found a challenge.
He constantly slipped through her fingers. She never
could catch him in the act. Slamming her hands down
on her already battered desk, Une stood. Decided in
her actions, she left Zechs a hasty note and walked
out of her office. Two steps out she noticed Zechs
coming back. His hair was slightly ruffled and he was
trying to smooth it down. As she passed him, she
noticed a small slightly discolored spot on his neck.
"I'm going out for a while." She told him and stalked
out.
"Une?" Zechs asked, but she was already halfway down
the hall. "What's she up too?"
Leaving the school, she drove her car all the way to
Trowa's residence. Checking the address she'd gotten
from the school's computer database against the house
number, she got out. This was the right house, now on
to the next part of her plan. Striding up the walk,
she came to a halt at the front door. Pushing the
button on the intercom, she waited.
"Um.* cough * Who is it?"
"This is Ms. Une, Dean of Students. I was wondering
if I could talk to you?" There was a pause.
"Er.* cough * I'm not supposed to let anyone in. *
cough * I'm sorry."
"It's very important." Une insisted.
"Please, I'm really * cough * sorry. But my sister
left me specific instructions. If you have anything,
please just leave in on the * cough * doorstep." Une
was getting irritated. She pressed the intercom
button again.
"Listen, I don't have anything to deliver! I want to
speak with you Trowa Barton!"
"I'm sorry. Have a nice day. * cough *" The
intercom went dead. Une growled and looked about at
the windows. All the curtains were drawn. Glaring at
the darkened house, she pressed the intercom button
again.
"Um. * cough * Who is it?"
"It's Ms. Une. I need to speak to you. NOW."
"Er. * cough *.." Suddenly Une knew that Trowa
wouldn't let her in because Trowa wasn't home. It was
a recording. It had to be! Her anger heightened, she
began searching for a way into the house to prove that
Trowa wasn't home. She didn't care if she was
breaking and entering, she was an OZ soldier. They
did this sort of thing all the time. Besides she
couldn't stand people who didn't follow his Excellency
Treize's vision. This Trowa Barton would not fit into
his ideal world if he kept slacking off like this.
The backyard was fenced off. Trying the gate
directly to the left of the house, Une found it
locked. Not daunted, she climbed over the wooden
structure. Gracefully leaping to the ground, she
managed to avoid the daffodils growing directly
against the fence. As she brushed herself off, Une
noticed that the fence was reinforced with steal poles
and chain links. From the driveway it looked like a
normal wooden fence, but here in the inner sanctum of
the garden the steal warned of something dangerous.
Her eyes darted around, but she saw nothing. The
area was free of anything except plants. Still, Une
did not relax. Instead she carefully walked down the
stone path that led around to the back of the house.
Instantly she froze. Something growled and she saw a
shadow move towards her. Suddenly wishing she had
some sort of explosive device or maybe a gun, oh why
hadn't she brought her gun, Une faced the angry eyes
of the guard left on duty. It bore its teeth at her
and continued to growl. Deciding a hasty retreat was
in order, Une ran for the fence. The lion roared and
sprang after her. She barely made it over before two
huge paws with claws extended, tore her.
Unfortunately her skirt wasn't as lucky and she now
sported several large rips in the back.
"CURSE YOU TROWA BARTON!"

__________________________________________________

Okay, here we go again! ::grabs pom poms:: Go Trowa!
Go Trowa! WAhoo!!!

*************************
Disclaimer: Not mine. 'nuf said.
*************************

Trowa Barton's Day Off Part 4

Trowa sneezed. Quatre looked up from the ancient
Greek urn he'd been studying.
"Are you okay?" Trowa nodded and dug out a Kleenex
from his coat pocket. Wiping his nose he turned to
examine a mural on the wall behind him. After making
a few stops at various places in town and doing a
little shopping, the three pilots had ended up at the
museum. It was having a special exhibit on artifacts
from the Edo period and they all wanted to see it.
Unfortunately, the room was currently full of
elementary school students on field trips, so they
were in the Greek room instead.
Wufei was studying a bronze statue made during the
Hellenistic period. As he tried to figure out what
the Greeks saw in bearded naked men carrying spears,
the elementary students came scrambling in.
Immediately they swarmed about him and started asking
questions.
"Hey, mister. What is that?"
"Is that thing naked?"
"Ewww.it is!"
"Look! Do you see how many there are?"
"And they're all naked too!"
"Say mister do you like naked statues?"
"Do all Greek statues feature naked bearded men
carrying spears? There are at least five in this
room."
"Were all Greeks perverts?"
"Are you a pervert mister?"
Quatre and Trowa grabbed Wufei and drug him out
before he massacred the children.
"Just one, let me beat the snot out of one." Wufei
pleaded. "Nobody will miss just one of those little
brats."
"Wufei!" Quatre exclaimed. "I thought you didn't
bother with women or children. Aren't they unworthy
to fight."
"I'm willing to make an exception." Wufei replied
grinding his teeth. Trowa rolled his eyes and pushed
the button the elevator.
"Let's go someplace quieter. How about the
Pre-Raphaelist exhibit on the third floor?"
"That sounds good." Quatre agreed hauling Wufei into
the elevator.
"Oh, great. Paintings of nude women instead of
statues of nude men. A really good change." Wufei
snapped. He crossed his arms and looked perturbed.
The other two rolled their eyes and shrugged.
"It's art." Quatre told him.
"Just as long as there aren't any little kids." Wufei
replied.

* * *

Hilde gunned the Ferrari passed a Firebird. Dorothy
waved and blew kisses at the driver. Laughing, the
two girls sped through the tunnel, emerging on the
other side still lengths ahead of the Firebird.
Leaving the other car in the dust, they drove on to
find a worthier opponent to race.

* * *

"I don't know about this. I mean, if Trowa is out on
a mission, we shouldn't worry about him. After all,
he's more than once proven he can handle himself." Duo
commented as he and Heero slipped under the chain link
fence that surrounded the high school. Heero didn't
answer. He'd seen Lady Une drive off and over heard
her secretary tell Ms. Noin that the Dean had gone to
check something out. Knowing that the Dean was
suspicious of Trowa already, Heero had decided it was
best to eliminate any obstacles that interfered with
the Gundam pilots' missions. If Trowa was caught, the
others would be in danger.
Duo had insisted on coming along, which Heero was
beginning to regret agreeing to as they crept into the
parking lot.
"Now that we're out, how are we going to get to
Trowa's? I mean its not like we can just take any car
we.Oi! Heero! What do you think you're doing? Isn't
that the Dean's secretary's car?"
"Hn." Heero said as he opened the door. Duo shook
his head and hurried over as Heero hot-wired the car.
He climbed in just as Heero got the engine started.
"Leave it to the 'perfect soldier'." Duo grumbled as
he rolled down the window and leaned on the frame.
His braid flapped in the breeze as they sped down the
road.
They pulled into the driveway stopping just behind
Lady Une's car. Amazingly they had made it in one
piece, despite the fact that Heero had been driving.
Climbing out, both boys kept low as they scuttled to
the front door. Finding a large number of packages,
flowers, and fruit baskets outside on the porch making
an arch on either side of the door, they surmised that
Trowa wasn't inside. Heero motioned to Duo that he
was going to check the back yard. As he neared the
fence Heero heard a noise.
Moving around the corner, Heero found the barely
conscious form of Une on the ground. The back of her
skirt was torn and her glasses had been broken. It
had probably happened when she'd jumped the fence,
Heero decided. But shouldn't she have been trying to
get in, not out?
"Oi, Heero." Duo called. Heero left Une and walked
to where Duo was. The braided pilot was peering
through a small crack in the fence. "That's some
security system Trowa has. I bet the Dean met up with
that." Duo ducked out of the way so Heero could get a
good look at the security system. The lion was pacing
back and forth. It circled around a rose bush twice
before flopping down in the pansies for a nap.
"That explains the rips in her skirt." Heero murmured
not realizing he'd said it out loud. Duo stared at
him momentarily before walking over to inspect Une.
Lady Une slowly opened her eyes. She felt stiff and
she wasn't sure why. Looking about her she noticed
the two boys.
"Are you all right lady?" Duo asked extending a hand
to help her up. Une's hair had come loose from its
buns and tumbled down her shoulders.
"What am I doing here?" she asked. Both Duo and
Heero looked confused.
"I was about to ask you the same question." Duo lied
quickly. Une was a bit shaken and she couldn't
remember what she was doing there. She knew she was
supposed to be the Dean of Students at the local high
school. Why on earth was she away from her post?
Treize-sama wouldn't be pleased.
"I need to get back to the school immediately." She
stated. Duo and Heero nodded, still not
understanding.
"Of course." Duo said. Heero glared at her with his
usual ferocity.
"I'm not sure what happened here, but I want to thank
you for coming to my aid." Une said.
"We didn't do much." Duo confessed. Une shook her
head.
"That was very kind of you. You don't even know me,
yet you helped me anyway."
"Er..yeah, whatever. Anyway, you said something
about getting back to school."
"Oh, yes, I better." Une looked down at her torn
skirt. "I think I need to change when I get back.
How on earth did that happen?" She wandered back to
her car leaving the two Gundam pilots without any
answers for her personality change.
"Strange." Duo muttered.
"Disassociated-identity disorder probably." Heero
said.
"What?"
"Split personalities."
"Oh." Duo watched Une's car pull out of the driveway.
"Now, how are we going into the house? Going in
through the front door is a little too obvious,
especially if her other personality reappears. And
the back is out because of the big kitty." Heero
smirked and began to walk back towards Zechs' car.
"Oi! Heero what are you thinking of?"

* * *

The trip to the museum had been worth it. They'd
seen lots of wonderful and priceless artifacts.
They'd spent money at the gift shop buying postcards,
key chains, and other nifty trinkets. Quatre was
still snickering over a tiny key chain that said "if
you're driving through hell, don't stop" that he
thought Duo would like. He'd found one that said,
"quit honking, I'm reloading" that just seemed to
scream Heero to him. Wufei and Trowa were attempting
to ignore him without much success.
As they walked down the avenue they picked up what
sounded like a band. Not a rock band, but a marching
band. Curious, the three crossed the street and
headed for the music. Pushing through a crowd of
people, they came upon a parade. There were horses,
marching bands, floats and clowns of all sorts.
Quatre glanced at Trowa as several clowns passed them,
but the boy didn't twitch.
"Come on, let's try to get a better view." He
suggested grabbing Trowa's arm and hauling him through
a mesh of people, Wufei running to catch up. Amongst
all the pushing and shoving somehow Quatre lost his
grip on Trowa. He managed to get clear of the crowd
and stumbled out into the street. Catching himself,
he looked for the other two. A moment later Wufei
wriggled his way out from among a crowd of ladies
wearing very short skirts and tight tops. He looked a
bit frazzled.
"Have you seen Trowa?" asked Quatre. He had to yell
to be heard over the din of the bagpipe band marching
past. Wufei shook his head. They began scanning the
crowd for the familiar banged boy.
"I don't see him!"
"Keep looking!" Quatre yelled. In the background
more floats were going by. They all had different
themes, including one of STAR WARS. The person with
the mike was saying something, but Quatre and Wufei
weren't paying attention.
"I think this next song is a classic. A classic
parody that is. And it fits so well. Now if you
don't mind?" Wufei paused to listen as the familiar
first cords of AMERICAN PIE began. Then the person
started to sing.
"A long long time ago,
In a galaxy far away.
Naboo was under an attack."
Quatre and Wufei turned as one to stare at the float
that was coming down the road.
"And I thought me and Qui Gon Jin
Could talk the Federation into cutting them a little
slack." Their jaws dropped as they gawked at Trowa
standing in the front of the float doing the most
un-Trowaish thing they'd ever seen.
"But their response didn't thrill us.."
"TROWA! OH MY GOD!" Quatre screamed waving his hands
in the air.
"He's gone insane." Wufei commented. Quatre ignored
him. Trowa flashed a big smile and continued to sing
the "Weird" Al parody.
"Trowa, get down from there!" Trowa motioned for them
to come join him. Quatre refused, but Wufei suddenly
snatched his coat sleeve and rushed up to the float.
"Wufei stop! Have you lost your mind too?"
"No! I've decided to join him!"
"I'm doomed." Quatre cried as they reached the float.
A wookie helped them onto the float. Wufei grabbed a
second mike and hauled the still somewhat protesting
Quatre next to Trowa in time to start the chorus. By
that time the people gathered were either singing or
humming along with them. Behind them, Luke Skywalker,
Darth Vadar, the wookie and Princess Leia were doing
the tango. Several Ewoks were swing dancing, and the
guy dressed as Obi Wan Kenobi was doing a jig. They
passed the judges' both and everyone stopped long
enough to wave, then went back to what they were
doing. They went through the song five times. By the
fourth time, Trowa and Quatre were dancing together
and so were Obi Wan and Wufei as they sang.
"I haven't had this much fun in forever!" Quatre
exclaimed.
"I've NEVER had this much fun." Wufei confessed as
Obi dipped him. Trowa laughed and dipped Quatre who
whooped loudly and started laughing.
They eventually climbed down and after saying goodbye
to the first place float of the parade, they finally
checked the time. Trowa frowned.
"We might think about heading home." He said.
"So soon?" whined Quatre. "I don't want this day to
end."
"We better get the car back before Treize gets home."
Wufei said locking his hands behind his head. Trowa
nodded.
"Oh, well. It's been fun anyway." Quatre sighed and
checked to make sure the stuff they'd purchased was
still in its bags. Yep, everything was still there
even after their little detour on the float.
"I think the parking garage is a couple blocks down."
Trowa said leading the way. The others followed him
in silence.

__________________________________________________

WAaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!! This is the last part of the fic.
I had so much fun writing this. I want to say a big
THANK YOU to all who've responded. I was a bit
nervous about posting because I'm relatively new, but
you all have been so nice. Thank you! ^_^ So now I
give you the finale to Trowa Barton's Day Off

******************
Disclaimer: Only the insanity is mine, everything else
isn't. 'nuf said.
*******************

Trowa Barton's Day Off Part 5

Duo checked Trowa's room. Nope, he wasn't in bed, but
the room had been rigged to make it appear as if he
were. When he'd first opened the door, he'd heard
what he'd thought was someone softly snoring. Looking
at the bed, he saw what appeared to be Trowa rolling
over. Then he'd actually entered the room. Duo had
to admit Trowa had been very creative. First he'd
made a sound file on his computer of someone snoring.
This sound file was set to run constantly and the
speakers set just to the side of the bed. Then he'd
rigged a dummy in his bed, pulled the covers over him
and with a length of string, one bowling trophy from
God knew where, hooked it to the doorknob. This way
when anyone opened the door, it looked as if Trowa was
in bed and was just rolling over. Heero would have to
come and see the series of pulleys Trowa had used to
accomplish this. Duo was impressed. The dummy even
had a wig on that was styled exactly like Trowa's
hair.
Leaving the room, Duo headed back down the stairs to
where Heero was waiting in the kitchen.
"You should see the set up Trowa has up there.
Simple, yet very effective. I bet Catherine would be
fooled by it, if she came home." Duo hopped up on the
counter and leaned back. "That still doesn't tell us
if Trowa is out on a mission or not. Hey, Heero are
you listening to me?" Duo poked Heero in the head.
Heero didn't reply, he simply pointed to the
television. He'd turned it on and was watching the
parade. Suddenly Duo recognized the three people
standing at the front of a float singing. Duo's jaw
dropped.
"Is that.?"
Heero nodded.

* * *

Hilde breathed a sigh of relief. She'd gotten the
Ferrari back just in time. The owner just walked back
in. Dorothy tried to hide a smile as Hilde handed
Trowa back the keys. Wufei and Quatre hopped in. As
Trowa opened the drivers' door, he glanced down at the
mileage. The one visible eyebrow raised. Hilde
swallowed. She hadn't figured that he'd memorized the
mileage on the car, she was dead.
"Did you fill the gas tank back up?" Trowa asked.
"Y..yes sir."
"Okay." Trowa sat down and closed the door. Hilde
looked confused, but breathed a sigh of relief anyway.
They drove away. Dorothy came over and cocked her
head at Dorothy.
"What was that all about?"
"He noticed we'd taken it out for a little joy ride,
but he only wanted to know if we'd refilled the gas
tank."
"Really?" Dorothy said. Hilde nodded. "Strange.
Come on, I just saw some guy bring in a Jaguar. Wanna
take it for a test drive?" Hilde smiled broadly and
followed Dorothy who grinned evilly as she approached
the unsuspecting Jaguar owner.
The last thing the three Gundam pilots heard as they
left the city limits was Dorothy laughing wildly as
she and Hilde passed them on their way to the
interstate. Quatre's eyes widened as he watched the
two girls vanish.
"You don't suppose they took Treize's."
"Of course they did." Trowa said. Wufei howled with
laughter and it took several minutes for him to
recover. Trowa was trying hard not to smile, but
couldn't help it. Quatre just shook his head at his
friends and leaned against the door.
"I suppose we have to take the car back, ne?" he
asked.
"Mm." Trowa answered.
"But this means our day off has come to an end."
Quatre sulked.
"No completely. We still have a couple things left
to do." Wufei said a wicked grin creeping across his
face. Suddenly Quatre wondered what was in store
next.
They pulled into Quatre's residence about twenty
minutes later. They agreed to meet at Trowa's later
for dinner to plot out their next "day off" and Quatre
hopped out. Kissing Trowa on the lips, he whispered
that he wouldn't keep him waiting long. Standing back
from the car Quatre waved good bye as Trowa, with
Wufei now in the passenger's seat drove off. As he
turned towards the house he called out.
"I'm home! Can I borrow the car?"
Trowa and Wufei drove the car back to Treize's. Once
more managed to get past security and dropped off the
car. On their way out they stole into the house
again, left the keys, the credit card and a bag of
stuff they'd bought. Snickering, they slipped back
out and went to retrieve the motorcycle still stashed
in the bushes.
"We better hurry." Trowa told Wufei as he started the
bike. "Catherine is due home in ten minutes. Wufei
nodded and Trowa stuffed his helmet on just as Wufei
took off. They peeled out of Treize's driveway and
onto the main road. Gunning the bike as fast as it
could go, Wufei noticed the all too familiar sight of
Catherine's car turning onto the road in front of
them.
"K'so." He hissed wondering if Trowa had noticed. It
didn't matter, Wufei decided it was time to take a
short cut.
"HANG ON!" He yelled. Trowa held on and the two cut
across two lanes of traffic and onto the sidewalk.
Taking a hard left, Wufei roared through somebody's
front yard into the back. Trowa hung on even tighter
as they climbed the stairs to a deck of another house,
drove across that, down the other side, and then
through the vegetable garden. Making right, they
popped back out on a street only to drive about a
quarter mile down and make another left into another
yard. Trowa grounded his teeth as Wufei drove onto
the diving board of the back yard pool of the house.
They sailed over the length of the pool landing safely
on the other side. They made a right at the next
house, tearing up another vegetable garden and passing
past two sunbathing women. The women stared after
them with shocked looks.
"We're almost there!" Wufei called back as they bore
down a group of people hanging around a barbeque
talking. They saw Wufei coming and leapt out of the
way and rolling under the picnic table. The Chinese
pilot didn't even bother apologizing as he used a
folding lawn chair propped against the fence as a
ramp. They sailed over the fence, landing with a
jarring thud on the other side.
"Get ready!" Wufei yelled as he drove around the side
of this house. A couple little kindergarten kids were
playing on a wooden play set. Wufei headed for the
slide. The little kids watched in awe as he flew up
it, launching the motorcycle in the air. As the bike
reached the apex of the jump, Trowa brought his feet
up so they were tucked up as near under him as
possible. The bike began to descend. Trowa let
himself begin to fly off and at just the last moment
placed his feet firmly on the sheet and pushed off.
The effect was that he glided backwards and landing in
a tree. He quickly scaled the rest of the tree and
somersaulted in through his open bedroom window.
Coming out of the somersault on his feet, Trowa pulled
the dummy off his bed. Throwing off his coat so it
landed on his computer chair and hit the off key for
the speakers. Taking off his helmet and kicking off
his shoes, he leapt into bed and pulled the covers up.
Reaching behind him, he untied one string, which let
the bowling trophy drop to the floor. The last of his
incriminating parafanaila away, Trowa breathed a sigh
of relief and waited.
Catherine pulled into the drive. As she got out of
her car she notice the large amounts of flowers,
balloons, fruit baskets and other packages on the
front porch. Sighing, she unlocked the front door and
let herself in. It took several minutes to bring all
the get well gifts inside. Finally she climbed the
stairs and quietly opened Trowa's door.
"Trowa?"
"Humm?" he responded pulling back the covers from his
face. He looked fine.
"How are you feeling?"
"Better." He told her. Catherine smiled.
"Are you well enough to come downstairs and get
something to eat?" Trowa nodded. "For a quiet boy,
you're very popular at school. You should see all the
gifts people sent."
"Mmm."

* * *

School was out. Lady Une had returned to school, but
didn't tell Zechs what had happened. She was missing
her glasses, which meant Zechs was going to have a
pleasant remainder of the day. As he headed for the
staff parking lot, Zechs ran into Noin.
"How was your day?" he asked.
"Not too bad. A couple of boys decided to ditch the
remainder of their classes this afternoon, but other
than that it was fine." She replied brushed a stray
hair out of her eyes. "And you?"
"After Lady Une got back from her 'appointment', the
day was much better."
"Why?"
"No glasses."
"Ahhh." Noin replied knowingly. She paused as they
came to her car. Noin stopped and looked about. "Um,
Zechs. Where's your car?" Zechs glanced about, but
didn't see it anywhere.
"It looks like it's been stolen. I'll have to report
this." He said, a slight sad tone in his voice. "I
just bought it too." Noin smiled suddenly.
"Wanna lift big boy?" she asked. Zechs' eyes lit up
for a moment and he smiled.
"If you're offering." Noin opened the passenger side
door.
"Hop in cutey."

* * *

Quatre pulled into the drive. Catherine's car was
parked in the driveway, so she was home already. He
got out and headed up the walk. Just as he was about
to ring the doorbell, he thought he heard Wufei's
voice. Curious, he opened the gate to the back yard.
Walking down the path he noticed Wufei, Heero, and Duo
sitting on the hood of a car. Wufei's motorcycle was
leaning up against it. The lion that normally was
roaming the backyard was missing.
"What is going on here?" he asked.
"We were waiting for you." Duo said. "We figured it
would be better if we all went in as a group."
"How did you get the car in here and where's the
lion." Quatre asked. Heero pointed to the car.
Quatre looked in through one of the windows and
noticed the sleeping form of Trowa's lion.
"How did you.?"
"You don't want to know." Duo said with an over
dramatic sigh. "Let's just say it was more trouble
than it was worth." Quatre nodded.
"I won't even bother asking what you're doing here."
He said as the three hopped off the hood and began
walking towards the house.
"By the way, we saw you guys on TV." Duo commented
leaning on both Wufei and Quatre. They immediately
went rigid.
"Next time," Heero began. All eyes turned towards
him. "We want to go too."
"I'm sure we can arrange that." Quatre said winking
at Wufei. He chuckled. "Let's go talk to Trowa.

* * *

Treize stared at the kitchen counter. On it were one
of his credit cards, the keys to his Ferrari and a bag
of stuff. Reaching into the mint green paper bag with
only a picture of a rose on the side to identify it,
Treize pulled out several items. One was a bottle of
lilac bubble bath. Treize paled. LILAC! Another was
a bar of vanilla scented hand soap. VANILLA! The
third was a bottle of melon and cucumber hand lotion.
The fourth were two bottles of citrus scented shampoo
and conditioner. Treize nearly fainted. Finally
there were several envelops, which enclosed the
following receipts: 1 million dollar donation to the
Federation Soldiers' Retirement Fund, 1.5 million
dollar donation to the Federation Orphans and Widows'
Fund, and a 2,000 dollar gift certificate made out to
him for a store called Erotica.
Treize calmly put everything back in the bag, walked
towards his room, shut the door, locked it, took three
deep cleansing breaths and screamed.
About a week later Treize was still recovering from
the 'gifts' and the near hear attack he'd had when he
saw his Ferrari. He still hadn't been able to get all
the bright yellow happy face stickers off yet, not to
mention the bumper stickers that read "I want to be
Barbie ©, that bitch has everything" and "ha, ha
Scotty, now beam me down my clothes". Suddenly Lady
Une walked into his office.
"Treize-sama."
"Yes?"
"I came to report that someone got past your upgraded
security system."
"And?"
"Your custom made Ford Explorer with the suede
interior, reclining seats, cup holders, six disc CD
changer, cruise control, A/C, and all the little rose
scented car fresheners is missing."
"Not again." Treize whispered dropping his head into
his hands. "Cancel my credit cards, please."

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