Alright, people have been complaining about not enough noise recently, so I'm making some noise!
Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't own the song, never have, never will, don't have any money, please don't sue. This is all for fun. 'nuff said.
We open on a theater full of people. There are ushers escorting people to their seats, musicians tuning up their instruments and people talking. From up on the stage we can see the curtain pull apart enough for someone to peer through.
"Man," Duo said. "The entire place is packed."
"I'm not doing this." Wufei growled. "I can't believe I got myself talked into this and all in the name of charity."
"You're not the only one." Zechs muttered. "I think my sister and I are going to have a brother/sister talk about this afterwards."
"When you talk to her, make sure you mention the costumes." Quatre remarked straightening his sailor's hat. "I don't think Heero has come out of the dressing room yet. He said something about not wanting to go out in public wearing a leather outfit like that."
Duo smiled and closed the curtain. "Just don't let him near Trowa and the guns and we should be safe."
"Hypothetically speaking. This is Heero Yuy we're talking about." Zechs pointed out. Suddenly music started signaling the five minutes till show time count. Quatre hurried off to find Trowa and drag Heero out of the dressing room. Duo adjusted his headdress so that the feathers and his braid didn't interfere. Zechs contemplated rigging something to interrupt their performance so he and the boys could escape. Noin never should have insisted he be the construction worker. Wufei twirled a set of handcuffs then wondered if he could find Relena so he could handcuff her to the podium, naked as a form of justice.
"Okay, everyone get ready!" Noin called coming up with Quatre, Trowa, and Heero in her wake. "It's time to begin!" The curtain rises and the music starts, a biker, an Indian, a cowboy, a sailor, a cop and a construction worker step out as the spotlight falls on them. Duo smiles and begins to sing.
Young man, there's no need to feel down
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground
I said, young man, 'cause your in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy
(Unfortunately all of them are unhappy, except maybe Duo who likes to sing. Heero, who is dancing next to Quatre glances up quickly, then goes back to what he was doing. The audience takes no notice of the biker clad Heero, they're too much in awe of the costumes.)
Young man, there's a place you can go
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.
(Quatre gives Trowa's butt a long look. In doing so he nearly misses a step and ends up stepping on Wufei's boots. The cop/Wufei is none too pleased and gives him a dirty look. Quatre smiles sheepishly before joining the others for the chorus.)
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
They have everything For young men to enjoy.
You can hang out with all the boys.
(Duo smiles at the thought of hanging out with the boys and wonders what tonight's secret meeting of the "get even with Relena for this humiliation" club will entail.)
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
You can get yourself clean
You can have a good meal
You can do whatever you feel.
(Trowa glances up, then looks towards Heero and nods. Heero returns his nod and a soft smile curls the edges of his mouth. Trowa returns the knowing smile and goes back to dancing. Duo is once more singing solo.)
Young man, Are you listening to me
I said, young man, what do you want to be
I said, young man, you can make real your dreams,
but you've got to know this one thing.
(Wufei and Zechs watch as Duo, dressed as an Indian, struts his stuff onstage in front of the other five. Wufei has the most incredible urge to sneak up behind him and yank his braid, which is swinging back and forth. As it does, it becomes horribly entangled in the feathered headdress. Zechs tries not to laugh as Duo attempts to swing it loose. This only further tangles it, much to the humor of Zechs and Wufei.)
No man, does it all by himself
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf
And just go there, to the Y.M.C.A.
I'm sure they can help you today
(By now Quatre has noticed Duo's dilemma and moves closer to see if there is anything he can do to help. Heero catches him with a look and shakes his head. They can't stop to fix Duo's hair now. Quatre understands and slips back into line.)
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
They have everything for young men to enjoy.
You can hang out with all the boys.
(Duo curses mentally and reaches back in hopes of untangling his braid. Swearing vengeance against Relena for insisting that he was the only one to play the Indian, he notices Heero and Trowa looking up.)
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
You can get yourself clean
You can have a good meal
You can do whatever you feel.
(Heero and Trowa look up and simply ease apart in an attempt to stay away from that portion of the stage. Wufei notices them and decides to start avoiding that portion of the stage too.)
Young Man, I was once in your shoes,
I said, I was down and out with the blues
I felt, no man cared if I were alive
I felt the whole world was so jive
(Duo had given up trying to untangle his braid. He glanced over at Zechs whose hair is pulling loose from the ponytail it had been tied in. The hard hat he's been forced to wear isn't helping; in fact it's pulling his hair. Zechs looks highly annoyed despite the fact that he's wearing sunglasses. Duo sympathized with him greatly.)
That's when someone came up to me
and said young man take a walk up the street
There's a place there called the Y.M.C.A.
They can start you back on your way.
(Quatre notices that Wufei, Heero, and Trowa are all avoiding the one spot on the stage. He glances up as he has witnessed Heero and Trowa do. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. To be on the safe side he starts avoiding that spot too. Better to be safe than sorry. Although he wonders what is going on. Was there some guy in a mask and cape running around the catwalks up there?)
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
They have everything For young men to enjoy.
You can hang out with all the boys.
(Everyone is thankful that this is their last chorus. Then they can get back to more important things. Quatre was getting tired of having to shove his sailor's hat back up on his head.)
Y.M.C.A.
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
Young man, Young man, there's no need to feel down
Young man, Young man, pick yourself off the ground
(Zechs joined the other four in avoiding a certain section of the stage, although he wasn't sure why. Somehow he had to relay the information to Duo to stay away from it.)
Y.M.C.A.
just go to the Y.M.C.A.
Young Man, Young Man, I was once in your shoes,
Young Man, Young Man, I was out with the blues
(Somehow Duo caught the hint and scooted a good three feet away from the spot. Giving Heero a questioning look, Duo received a simple nod in response.)
Y.M.C.A.
(What was going on?)
Y.M.C.A.
(What was up in the rafters?)
Y.M.C.A.
(And why did Heero and Trowa keep exchanging smiles and nods????!)
Y.M.C.A.
The crowd cheered as the six took their bows and hurriedly left the stage. A podium was already being moved out so Relena could give her speech. A speech that was supposed to instill the wealthy families to donate to the Y.M.C.A and other charities she supported.
Duo sat very still as Quatre tried to untangle the mess of feathers and braid. Around him the others were removing their hats and accessories.
"Oi, I have a question. What was up with you two and the ceiling?" Duo asked directing his question at Heero and Trowa. The two remained silent.
"Yes, I was wondering about that too." Wufei commented as he smoothed back his hair. Some ebony strands had gotten loose and were falling in his face. Annoyed, he blew them out of the way. Trowa and Heero remained silent.
"Yuy, Barton." Zechs said in an authoritative voice. Out on stage Relena continues her speech. Suddenly there is a scream, followed by several more including one from Relena. A "splooshing" sound can be heard as people scream. Trowa and Heero smile. Zechs, Duo, Quatre, and Wufei race out to see what has happened. Relena stands in the middle of a pile of green ooze that has been dumped on her. She turns to face her brother and the Gundam pilots.
"Maxwell." She growls.
"It wasn't me!" he yelped, holding his hands up in defense.
"It wasn't him." Zechs confirms. Relena glares at Duo, then sighs. She believes her brother and begins wiping off the sludge from her face. Quatre offers her a towel, which she takes and while cleaning, continues her speech. Zechs and the pilots slink backstage to confront Trowa and Heero.
"Mission accomplished." Heero and Trowa state in unison before smiling and running like hell. The others laugh and chase after them to get the gory details on how it had been accomplished.
Tigress Pern
Back to the Fanfics!