Gundam MS: Episode 11

Angel Attack

“Alright,” Misato said before she finished coming up the lift, “What do you have?”

“We picked up two signatures coming in from the west,” said Maya from her place at the computer console. “We don’t know who they are, but… well, you’d better take a look for yourself.” She hit a switch, and on the screen popped up two… figures. One was a twenty-something with blond hair and a crackling aura of energy around him, and the other was… a machine. At least, it looked like one. It was pink, and flying like a jet plane.

“Are they Angels?” said Misato incredulously. “They’re not supposed to work together…”

“We’re not sure. We can’t detect an AT field coming from either of them. The wave analysis is the weirdest part though. The man is yellow, the machine is pink.”

“Yellow? Pink? That’s not possible, is it?” asked Misato.

“Well, that’s how it is, so I guess so,” replied Maya. “But you’re right; theoretically, it isn’t. This doesn’t make any sense…”

“Nothing makes any sense around here,” said Misato. “Let’s play this on the safe side. Launch the Eva’s! Prepare for combat! Ready the city’s loudspeakers; I want to be able to hail those people, whoever they are.”

“It’s still possible they might not be Angels,” contributed Ritsuko. “We really have no idea.”

“If they’re not Angels, then what the hell are they?” mumbled Misato angrily. “Are those speakers up yet?”

“Ready and waiting,” said Maya. “Give the word and you’re on.”

“Alright then, lets get ready. All pilots, report in!”

“This is Rei. I’m ready.”

“This is Asuka. Good to go!”

Silence.

“Shinji-kun?” asked Misato, “Shinji-kun, are you there? SHINJI-KUN!”

“Um, sorry Misato,” answered Shinji hesitantly. “I was deep in a sea of depression, worthlessness, and self-doubt.”

“Oh, good,” said Misato, breathing out a sigh of relief. “I thought it was something serious. All Evas, launch!”

* * * * * * * * * *

Sasami flew lazily alongside Gohan, staring at the scenery happily. “Oooooh, look at all the pretty buildings! This place is so fun!”

“Yeah yeah, real fun. I wanna find this Death guy already. Besides, these look almost the same as the buildings in your world.”

“But they’re not! They’re so pretty and happy! Everything’s pretty!”

“I’m beginning to figure out why no one else wanted to do this. Sure, a whole new world, what a great research opportunity, think of the things we could learn. I knew there would be a downside. We haven’t even found anything yet!”

Of course, some narrative conventions override all other factors. Silly things like probability and realism never stood a chance in the face of a statement like that.

The ground slid out in three places right in front of them, and out sprang three giant robots; one red, one blue, and one purple. Each one carried a large rifle, and was pointing it straight at them. The barrel of one of these rifles was larger than either Sasami or Gohan. Neither of them were worried of course; Sasami because she naturally trusted everything to be friendly, and Gohan because he could destroy entire planets without breaking a sweat. Gohan’s reason was probably better.

“THIS IS NERV CENTRAL TO FLYING BEINGS! IDENTIFY YOURSELVES IMMEDIATELY!” The voice seemed to come from speakers positioned around the city, and Gohan was pretty sure the speaker was female.

“Hi! I’m Sasami and this is Gohan! Who are you? I wanna meet you!”

“WHY ARE YOU HERE?”

“We want to find Death!” bubbled Sasami before Gohan could stop her. As much as he wasn’t worried about the outcome of a fight, his natural instinct was to avoid one at all times (having an insane mother probably helped, and his wife probably did too).

“Uh, Sasami, I think you might want to slow down a bit there…” cautioned Gohan.

“EXPLAIN YOURSELF,” came the voice one more time. “ARE YOU ANGELS?”

“Uh, I dunno, are we?” asked Gohan. Ryo Ohki would have yelled at him for not paying attention, but since over half her lesson time was spent arguing with Ryoko, Gohan had a pretty good excuse for not being entirely clear on his newfound situation.

“I think so…” answered Sasami hesitantly. “I’m not to sure of the details, but-”

Of course, neither of them had anticipated the impact of their response. It was, however, made abundantly clear right then.

“ALL EVAS! OPEN FIRE!” The pilots were quick to respond, having anticipated such an outcome for the entire conversation. All three opened fire, spraying human-sized bullets at the unfortunate heroes.

“EEEEEKKK!” screamed Sasami, suddenly overcome with fear for her life.

Gohan, seeing the danger inherent in those giant guns (not for himself, of course, but for Sasami), burst in front of her quicker than the eye could follow, ready to deflect the incoming stream of firepower.

Which never arrived.

Gohan looked around in surprise, as the intense spray of bullets turned out to be just that; a spray. Looking behind him, he saw several buildings collapse under the hail. Without even thinking about it, he reached out his hand and stopped the only bullet that managed to find it’s mark. Dropping it casually to the ground, he could only stare as the rest of the barrage flew right past them. With slightly more conscious effort, he stopped a second bullet, and let it fall too.

And then it was over, all three robots desperately hitting the trigger on their rifles, already out of ammo.

“Damnit!” yelled Asuka from inside her Eva. “These things weren’t meant to hit human-sized targets!”

Deep underground, in Nerv headquarters, Misato was glaring pointedly at Ritsuko. “I think we have a design flaw here,” said Misato angrily.

“It’s not my fault the design specs didn’t mention the need for anything like that,” said the offended scientist. “You can’t ask me to fit in features you never asked for.”

“Hah, I can take them!” yelled Sasami up on the surface. “I’ll use my super-attack!” In place, she made the transformation back into her Gundam’s robot mode. “Watch and learn!”

ULTRA CUTE PINK SUGAR OVERDOSE ATTACK!

Waves of pink energy flew outward from Sasami, enveloping all around her. Gohan, of course, wasn’t affected by the attack, since he was her ally.

Both the red and blue robots fell like toppled trees, grasping at their stomachs as the pilots inside writhed in pain.

“Unnnnggghhhh,” groaned Rei, “I feel so horrible. My body feels like it’s gonna fall apart… and for me, that’s not an idle threat…”

“Guuuuuhhhhhh,” groaned Asuka, “I feel like I’m gonna hurl. Someone get me some aspirin, some Tylenol, hell, while you’re at it, grab me a whole pharmacy.”

The purple robot was the only one still standing. Sasami stared at it in wonder. “It shouldn’t be able to stand! That attack can disable anyone! How can the pilot still be conscious? He must be soooooooooo cool!”

Inside the robot, Shinji basked in this pink glow. “It’s amazing… what is this sensation I feel? Can it be… a lack of severe depression? I wonder if it’s what people call ‘happiness?’”

Meanwhile, Misato was in a screaming frenzy. “What the hell were those waves? Why are two pilots downed and groaning? Was it a psychic attack?”

“Possibly,” answered Ristuko. “I think it sent out massive waves of, um, cuteness.”

Misato glared. “You had better start making sense before I shove you out to fight that thing! How can cuteness hurt our people? Pain I could understand, but why cuteness? Why’d we have to get stuck with a second-rate scientist?”

“Well, this isn’t just little-child-cuteness. This is powerful, carefully refined cuteness. Cuteness so powerful, it can cause seizures in people.”

Misato sighed, long and hard. “Trust this damn place to take the phrase ‘nauseatingly cute’ literally. Of course, it would explain why Shinji-kun can still function; he must have enough depression to act as a natural counteragent to the cuteness, canceling it out.” Quickly, she walked over to the pilot intercom system. “Hey, Shinji-kun, can you hear me? You’re the only person who can fight those things!”

Shinji’s face stared back at her. “Why thanks, Misato. I was just hoping for something new and unusual to happen today. Having to bail your asses out certainly counts as that, doesn’t it?”

“Uh, Shinji-kun, did you just make a joke?”

“No, I made insightful political commentary. Of course I made a joke! It’s not like I’ve never told a joke before, is it?”

Everyone was silent. “Uh, actually Shinji, it is,” said Ritsuko. “You’ve never laughed either.”

“I take back all the bad things I said about you,” Misato whispered to Ritsuko. “If that thing can cancel out Shinji’s natural depression, that is some hellishly strong cuteness.”

Meanwhile, back on the surface…

“I thought you said you’d take them all out, Sasami?” said Gohan. “There’s one still standing.”

“I don’t understand it!” cried Sasami. “Nothing should be able to withstand that attack!”

“Well,” said Shinji, “It’s time to kick some serious ass!” He whipped out his progressive knife and started his charge. Several giant leaps brought him within striking range, and he brought his knife down onto the one with yellow hair.

Who caught it in one hand, still conversing with his partner (Shinji couldn’t hear exactly what they were saying through his cockpit). Struggling, Shinji tried to cut through with all his strength, but it was stuck firmly. Without appearing to think about it, the strange being reached out one hand towards him and released an energy blast which threw Shinji several blocks away, right into a large building. The being then dropped the knife, still in his hand, onto the ground.

“How did he do that?” yelled Misato.

“I don’t know!” Makoto said. “He doesn’t even have an AT field that I can detect!”

“Wait, I’m getting another signal in the upper atmosphere!” interrupted Shigeru. “Wave analysis is… it’s an angel! Definitely! And it’s getting closer!”

“Signal confirmed!” cried out Maya. “It’s huge, bigger than anything we’ve fought before! It looks like it’s some sort of giant bomb! We would have detected it sooner, but we were concerned with these other people.”

“Is there anything we can do?” asked Misato.

“At this late stage, and with two Evas out of commission, not a chance!” yelled Ritsuko. “But maybe those two can help us…”

“I’m telling you, these people are obviously unfriendly,” said Gohan. “We should just call this off right now.”

“We have to give them a second chance,” whined Sasami. “It’s the right thing to do.”

“Be that as it may, they’ve attacked us without warning, so we-”

Whatever he was going to say was drowned out by the loudspeakers that had spoken to them earlier. “ATTENTION! WE ARE UNDER ATTACK BY BEINGS KNOWN AS ‘ANGELS.’ ONE OF THESE ATTACKERS IS COMING FROM ABOVE TO ANNIHILATE THIS CITY. IF YOU ARE NOT HERE TO DESTROY US, PLEASE HELP US TO DEFEAT IT!”

“Will they do it?” asked Misato worriedly.

“They certainly don’t look or act like Angels,” responded Ritsuko, “And with the position we’re in, asking for help can hardly hurt us.”

“Do you think it’s true?” asked Sasami.

“Well, they did suddenly attack us when we mentioned we were Angels,” responded Gohan. “Lets see about that enemy they said was above them.” He looked up and squinted. “I think I see something. Come on, let’s fly!”

They both took off for the high skies.

“Well, it seems to be working,” said Misato.

“Or they may be going to join with it and become much stronger,” replied Ritsuko.

“Always the optimist, huh?”

“Well,” said Gohan, “It’s big, it’s ugly, and it’s headed here fast. Get rid of it?”

“Yeah! I wanna try out this slick gun!”

“Alright then, let’s do it!” They stopped their ascent and assumed their fighting poses. Gohan hunched over, both hands together, getting ready for his trademark blast. Sasami turned into robot mode and brought her gun to bear.

ULTRA

“Ka…”

CUTE

“Me…”

PINK

“Ha…”

BEAM

“Me…”

BLAST

“Ha!”

ATTACK!

The twin beams, one pink and one yellow, shot up with immense power. They hit the target dead on. It exploded, filling the sky with a rosy red flame as far as the eye could see, a truly beautiful spectacle, like the largest of fireworks. And then, suddenly, it winked out, replaced by utter blackness.

Gohan and Sasami looked around in shock at the sudden change in scene. As far as they could see, everything around them was utter blackness. Slow footsteps echoed from the distance as someone approached them, still shrouded in darkness.

“Who’s there?” asked Sasami hesitantly.

“Why, it’s only me,” responded a voice in a lazy, somewhat high-pitched drawl. As the figure drew closer, light seemed to come from nowhere and illuminate the face.

Pale hair. A golden circlet. A red-on-black uniform. And a blood-red quarterstaff.

Dilandou.

“You?!” cried out Gohan.

“Of course it’s me. And I see you recognize this body. However, you should know that it is not the only one I have.”

Dilandou grew, and changed. His clothes became completely black and grew baggy, turning into robes while a hood grew over his head. His flesh sunk inwards on his face and hands until it disappeared, leaving bones instead. He grew upwards by several feet, until he towered over them.

And as the final finishing touch, a blade sprung out of the top of his quarterstaff with a sound like a switchblade, turning it into a scythe.

YOU HAVE A NAME FOR ME, YES? I BELIEVE YOU CALL ME “DEATH.”

Gohan stood his ground, unafraid (which, in this case, was a big mistake). “I have a message for you from my Death,” he said confidently.

OH, YOU DO? WELL THEN, DO TELL BEFORE I SKIN YOU ALIVE FOR MESSING UP MY UNIVERSE.

“It’s only one word. Digimon.”

HAH, RIDICULOUS. YOU ACTUALLY EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT MISATO COULD… WAIT A MINUTE… SHE COULDN’T, BUT TENCHI COULD! AH, NOW I SEE. HIS IS ONE OF THE FEW UNIVERSES THAT COULD DO IT. NOW THAT WOULD BE WORTH A LITTLE BOTHER. FINE, TELL YOUR DEATHS THAT I AM INTERESTED. THEY CAN COME TO EXPLAIN, I WILL NOT HARM THEM. NOW GO. With a negligent flip of the wrist, Gohan and Sasami vanished. They found themselves back in front of the portal that led to Sasami’s Universe.

“What do we do now?” asked Sasami.

“I suppose we go and report how things went. Damnit, how did we ever get drafted into being postmen?”

“I think it’s pretty fun!”

“You think everything’s fun. Come on, lets go.”

Together, they stepped back into the portal.

* * * * * * * * * *

“And so, that’s what happened,” finished Gohan. “Now, what are we going to do?”

YOU AND SASAMI WILL COME WITH MISATO AND ME TO EVANGELION. THE REST OF THE DBS WILL GO BACK TO THEIR OWN WORLD, EXCEPT FOR VEGETTA, WHO WILL REMAIN HERE. WE WILL BE GONE FOR A LONG TIME. RELENA, COME HERE.

“Uh, yes?” asks Relena hesitantly, as she comes to stand directly in front of Death. Carefully, he hands her his scythe, which she places one hand on, still not entirely sure what is going on.

I WILL BE GONE FOR A LONG TIME. UNTIL I RETURN, YOU SHALL BE DEATH. RYO OHKI CAN HELP YOU. YOU WILL ALSO BE JOINED BY A REPRESENTATIVE FROM EACH WORLD. VEGETTA FROM DRAGONBALL, AND ONE I WILL SEND BACK TO YOU FROM EVANGELION.

“Me? As Death? Does that mean I’ll have unlimited power? YAHOO!”

THERE WILL BE LIMITS, OF COURSE. AND ONLY UNTIL I GET BACK.

“Awww, you’re no fun.”

Death took his hand off his scythe, and Relena flinched as if struck. She fell onto the ground and sat their, dazed.

DON’T WORRY, SHE’S JUST IN SHOCK. SHE’LL GET BETTER SOON, Death said.

“Goku, come here,” said Misato.

“Yes? Do I get your power too?”

“Yes, my eternally dense friend. You’ll be guided by Ryoko, who will double as this Universe’s representative, and, of course, one who I will send back from Evangelion. Try not to get into too much trouble while I’m gone, OK?”

“Yes Ma’am!” he yelled enthusiastically. Misato’s hand left the scythe.

Goku staggered back, looking as though he was about to fall. Misato walked up to him, and gave him a little shove so that he fell right into his home portal. Ryoko floated over, then, and turned around to wave.

“See ya everyone! Try not to miss me too much!”

“That won’t be a problem,” grumbled Ayeka under her breath.

“Well, bye!” Ryoko floated backwards and into the portal.

The rest of the DBs, except for Vegetta and Gohan, walked through the portal after saying their goodbyes.

“Well, looks like it’s time to head back,” said Gohan.

“Yay, I like those people!” bubbled Sasami. “They’re fun!”

“They tried to kill us!”

“They’re still fun! Yay!”

They walked into the portal, still arguing.

IT LOOKS LIKE IT’S OUR TURN NOW, said Death.

He and Misato walked side by side into the newest portal, disappearing.

* * * * * * * * * *

Far away, Duo smiled at his two pawns, before turning to his partner. His smile grew larger. “Alright, Hitomi. It’s time. Let’s send out our little troops.”

“Good. Van, Dilandou, move out!”

“Right,” said Van. “Let’s go, Dilandou.”

“Yes, Master,” Dilandou replied.