Gundam MS: Episode 4

Fight! For Everlasting Peace!

Relena stared in shock. “Alright, so you want me to fight that thing? HOW?”

SIMPLY USE YOUR ROD TO TRANSFORM. AND PLEASE, LISTEN TO RYO OHKI THIS TIME. Death reached into his pocket, and this time Relena was positive it hadn’t been there before. He brought out the same pink rod he had given her last time.

“Wasn’t that in my house?”

YES.

Relena sighed. “Nevermind. So how do I get back?”

LIKE THIS.

The world disappeared.

A new one replaced it.

Relena stared right into the face of a giant turkey.

Once again, she did the only sensible thing. She ran like hell.

Then she stopped running, because something small and furry was holding onto her hair.

“Hey, leggo of me! There’s no way I’m fighting that thing!”

“Oh, get a grip! I’ll be honest: I’ve worked with better. But Death decided to choose you, and I’m damn well gonna work with what I’ve got. In this case, it happens to be a coward. So, you have a simple choice.”

“I don’t like the way things are going here. Aren’t I supposed to be your master?”

“Technically, yes. Now, you have two choices. You can either fight that giant turkey.”

“I’m not really happy with choice number one.”

Ryo Ohki continued. “Or you can run away and have Death mad at you.”

“Of course, on the other hand, I never really liked thanksgiving. What do I do?”

“I knew you’d see reason. Just hold the rod in your hand and repeat after me. And I’m warning you, don’t try anything funny because I’m in a really bad mood.”

“And I’m warning you, don’t try-“ Relena was cut of by a small furry paw hitting her back with far more force than it had any right to. “Ow! Alright, alright, I get the message.”

Relena pulled the (very) pink rod out of her pocket. “Now what do I say?”

“Super Pretty Magic Beautiful Gundam Power Activate.”

“Super Pretty Beautiful Magic Power Gundam Activate!”

Nothing happened.

“You said it wrong! Try it again. It’s Super Pretty Magic Beautiful Gundam Power Activate.”

“Super Magic Pretty Gundam Beautiful Power Activate!”

“Arg! Not again! It’s so simple! Super Pretty Magic Beautiful Gundam Power Activate!”

“Super Pretty Magic Power Beautiful Gundam Activate.”

“By Death! Alright, we’ll try this word for word, alright? Good. Now, follow me. Super.”

“Super.”

“Pretty.”

“Magic.”

“Power.”

“Beautiful.”

“Gundam.”

“Activate.”

Cue Nude Transformation Scene!

“Hey, wait a minute! I never signed on for thiiiiiiiiisssssssssssss…”

“Don’t worry, this is only text based, so we can’t really show anything.”

“Oh, well that’s OK then. Hey, check me out! I’m all blocky and pink! Oh, and I have a big-ass gun. Nice!”

“You see that gun?”

“Do I ever!”

“That’s your ultimate attack. Press the trigger.”

Click. “I did, but nothing happened!”

“Yeah. You have to use the magic words first.”

“Oh hell. I’m freaking screwed.”

“Probably. The words are ‘Super Pretty Gundam Zero Beam Attack.’ Got that?”

“No, but you can walk me through it again once I need it. Alright, time to fight!”

“Hey, wait a minute-”

Relena ran out into view of the Giant Turkey. “Hey you! Get ready to die!”

A frantic Ryo Ohki followed. “That’s not how you do it! Ugh, this is horrible! What a rookie. Look, you need to make a speech before you fight it.”

“Why?”

“It’s just the way things are done, alright?”

“Um, OK. You’re a very evil person for trying to hurt innocents! I am an avenging angel to smite you! Prepare to die!”

“No, no, that’s a horrible speech!”

“Why? I think it covered all the important points. I’m good, He’s bad, I’m gonna kill him.”

“It was short and pointless. You didn’t even use one of the Big Four!”

“Big Four?”

“Yeah. Love, Dreams, Justice, Peace. All speeches should include at least one of them. Why, all of the Greats could fit two in every speech they made, easy! Not to mention Riana Lightheart! Now, there was an angel. She considered it a bad day if she couldn’t stick in all four. Nowadays, girls have trouble even using one!”

Relena looked on, stunned. “Alright, I guess. I’ll try again. Ahem! You evil monster. How dare you attack those innocents. Um… You are crushing their hopes and dreams. All people should be free to fulfill their dreams, no matter how impossible. There, was that better?”

“Well, yeah. Next time though, try not to deliver it in a monotone. Also, try to make it more relevant. No one really cares about dreams right now, so that should be a side-point rather than the main thrust. Justice or Peace would have worked better. That ‘innocents’ part really had potential. Also, it was a bit short. Still, not bad for a first try, even if it did take a bit of promting.”

“Alright, so what happens now?”

“Now that you’ve finished the long, time-consuming speech, the monster will stop standing like a statue and attack you.”

Gobble Gobble Attack!

Dozens of bright red crests flew out from the turkey and splattered all over Relena. Thankfully, the Turkey Monster was a little slow on the idea of weapons that actually hurt people instead of just annoying them.

“Oh gee, that was great. Now, what are the words for this damn beam cannon again?”

“Super Pretty Gundam Zero Beam Attack.”

“Alright then. Super Gundam Pretty Beam Zero Attack!”

“This is gonna be a long battle…”

“Um, Super Pretty Beam Gundam Zero Attack? Super Pretty Beam Zero Gundam Attack?”

A turkey isn’t a really great thinker. Neither is a giant turkey; that’s why bad guys generally use humanoid monsters. However, even a pretty slow thinker like this one eventually got the feeling that it’s attack had been less than successful. So, it switched to play B, which is ‘Tie up the Idiots and Threaten Them Until They Can Find a Way to Free Themselves.’ It wasn’t quite sure what ‘Threaten’ meant, but it did know ‘Tie up the Idiots,’ and figured that Threaten would make itself clear once the first part was done.

Gobble Gobble Tie-up Attack!

“Oh hell. Now I can’t move a muscle. Now what the hell am I supposed to do?”

“Scream a lot and hope somebody saves you.”

“Oh sure, like that’s gonna happen-”

A shadow of light detached itself from the rest of the background and dashed towards Relena. To any observer, it would look like a sort of cardboard figure was being moved behind the background, causing it to be pushed out. Out of this strange thing came a short shaft of blazing yellow light, that arced towards Relena in a blow that was sure to kill her-

But which actually just cut the rope around her. Grateful for her rescue, Relena was quick to heap praise upon her new hero.

“Hey, watch it with that thing, will you! You almost killed me! You could’ve taken my arm off swinging like that!”

Alright, so maybe she’s not the most grateful person right now, but she’s sure to be real grateful soon. Just give her a couple hours.

The strange anti-shadow shimmered and solidified into another robot: big, black, and holding a large, deadly-looking scythe, which was the mirror image of the one Death carried (except, of course, that this blade was yellow instead of the normal gray metal of Death’s).

“Gee, remind me of this next time I save your ass. Now are you gonna use your damn gun or do I have to take care of this guy?”

“Gimme a sec! Um, alright, once more. Ahem! Super Pretty Gundam Zero… … …Beam Attack?”

“Now hit the trigger,” prompted Ryo Ohki.

Click. “Hey, nothing seems to be happening-”

KA-BOOM!

In all honesty, the blast did work right in one respect. It did kill the monster.

Unfortunately, it also took out most of the city block.

All three looked on, rather stunned.

The new, black-suited person was the first to speak up. “I think that counts as a kill.”

Ryo Ohki chimed in next. “Relena, I think your next lesson will be the proper manipulation of the knob marked ‘power level.’”

“Well, I killed it didn’t I? And hey, who are you anyway?”

“Oh, I’m your first partner. My name’s Ryoko, and this is the Deathscythe Heck.”

“I already mentioned her to you,” said Ryo Ohki. “Remember? I mentioned a girl who was getting fitted? Well, it was her, and she was getting fitted for her suit. Which, I might add, is really called the Deathsuit Heck.”

“As I recall, you mentioned that she would make a much better leader than me.”

“Well, I would. And I call it Deathscythe Heck because it sounds a lot better. Even with the damn censored part.”

“Look,” said Relena rather testily, “I’m in a bad mood, and I’ve got a really, really, really big gun that I just figured out how to use. Right now I am going home, I will sit in front of my TV, and not move until I’ve finished beating FFIX.” Relena swung her gun so it pointed straight at Ryoko. “Any questions? No? Good.”

Unknown to all of them, a girl and a boy watched from the shadows. The girl couldn’t hear what they were talking about now, but she had heard the speech. It had touched something deep down inside of her. Quietly, she whispered to herself. “I will make my dreams come true!”

She turned around, and looked straight at her companion. “I have changed my answer. I say yes.”

“I knew you’d see it my way,” replied Duo, as he smiled.

And there you have it folks, episode 4! Took me long enough. Admittedly, it’s not all that long, but take what you can get, right? So, what will happen next time? Will the mysterious girl be identified? Although it’s not like you can’t figure it out already, I freaked said who it was in the damn intro. But, um, I mean, you can never be sure, right? So tune in next time to find out! Or not, depending.