Gundam MS: Episode 6

Two for One

“Alright,” said Ryoko. “So, basically, we just sit around until the story focuses on some totally random person, whereupon events will lead to her being the fourth Gundam Girl. Am I right?”

“Yep, that’s about right,” replied Ryo Ohki from her perch on Ryoko’s shoulder. They were currently walking through the hallways between classes with Relena and Keyonne. Keyonne was, as usual, silent.

“So why can’t we steer the selection process?”

“Damn it,” said Relena, “Ryo Ohki must have explained it to you like 15 times! You are so dense! The selections are already decided upon. Since we don’t know who it is going to be, any attempt to steer the process will only result in selecting the right person.”

“Wait,” said a confused Ryoko, “If attempting to steer the process will only make it select the right person, then if I try to steer it towards someone, then they will turn out to be the right person, right?”

“Good lord, I dunno. I’m just repeating what Ryo Ohki said. Would that work, Ryo Ohki?”

“Possibly. Why don’t you try it and find out?” For some reason, Ryo Ohki seemed to be hiding a grin. Or maybe a smirk.

“OK! Then, let’s try…” Ryoko looked around, hoping to find someone she would like to have around. While she was looking behind her, she accidentally bumped into a person walking the other way.

“Oh, sorry about that,” the new person said, as she walked away.

“Who was that? And why did she apologize? I was the one at fault there,” asked Ryoko.

“Oh,” replied Relena, “That’s Ayeka. She always apologizes. She’s pretty much a total bookworm. I don’t think she’s ever stood up for herself, ever. She’s nice, though, and if you’re lucky enough to sit next to her you can pretty much count on a 100 every time you take a test.”

“Um, did you just go on a long and completely irrelevant exposition of her character?” asked Keyonne.

A stricken look came over Ryoko’s face. “No! Quick, focus on someone else! Please!”

Ryo Ohki grinned hugely. “Too late! Wanna try again? We can do the last two in the same episode! Come on, take your pick.”

“Alright, I can do it! Watch this. Hey, Relena, who’s that?” As Ryoko said that, she pointed towards what was basically a normal Goth chick, complete with dyed hair, black leather, and spiked collar. It was a perfect pick.

Unfortunately, Relena wasn’t paying attention.

“Hey, Celena! How ya doing? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“What do you mean? I just saw you yesterday… ah hell, not again. And I was doing so well too. I think I’d better head down to the attendance office.” After that odd exchange, Celena started running towards another building.

“Who was that?” asked Ryo Ohki, barely able to contain a grin.

“Oh, that was just Celena,” replied Relena. “She’s real nice, and everyone likes her, but she has this weird problem where she blanks out a certain amount of time, anywhere from a day to a month. No one knows what happens to her. They’ve tried every method of tracking her they can think of, but none of them work. They say that when they hired a private investigator to trail her, he ended up in five different pieces and a pile of ash. Cut apart and burned, poor guy. Hey, I did it again, didn’t I?”

“IT’S NOT FAIR!” screamed Ryoko.

“Why do we have to have a goody-two-shoes like her, huh? Can’t we just pick someone else?” complained Ryoko. She was walking home with Relena, Keyonne and Ryo Ohki. The only one still listening to her was Ryo Ohki. The other two were having a rather one-sided discussion on shoes.

“Look, you should know better than anyone that Ayeka will be necessary. We have to have at least one person who’s got a brain in their heads. Besides, now that she’s been officially chosen, you can’t just un-choose her. The whole reality might fall apart. If things go too far off-track, who knows what could happen?”

“Hey, it’s not like they’ll banish us to M block.”

“Don’t be so sure. But it probably won’t come to that. If necessary, we’ll just split of an Innerverse. If you’re the cause, though, Death will probably let you perish along with the old one.”

“Hey,” said Keyonne, itching to find a way out of an incredibly boring conversation about clothes, “What’s M block? And what’s an Innerverse?”

Ryoko smiled. “Hey, Ryo Ohki, explain it to the mortals. And have fun!”

“Gee, thanks for the support. Alright, Keyonne, it works like this. Relena, pay attention, you might need to know this one day. M block is sort of the garbage collection of the Multiverse. It stands for Miscellaneous Block, and contains all the Universes that don’t fit into any other block. It’s not a nice place to be, and realities can become pretty unstable out there. Whole worlds annihilating each other in cosmic flashes, Universes melting into each other, that kinda stuff. Basically, it’s all the low reality worlds stuck in one place so they can’t hurt the more stable ones. We’re in MS block, or Magical Schoolgirl Block. If we stray too far from the mold, we get sent somewhere else. Does that answer that?”

Ryoko grinned hugely, while both Relena and Keyonne scratched their heads. “Arg! Damn mortals! Look, what are you having problems with now?”

“Um,” ventured Relena, “What’s the Multiverse?”

“Oh, for the fear of Death!” yelled Ryo Ohki, while Ryoko’s grin looked ready to cut her face in half. “The Multiverse is the sum collection of every Universe. It’s divided up into blocks of different realities, like science fiction or, in our case, magical schoolgirls. In each world, the laws of reality are different, but they all conform to basic guidelines. Innerverses are separate worlds within a single Universe. They include things like alternate timelines and alternate realities. You know, like the kind where everyone is exactly opposite how they are normally?”

“Yeah, I’m getting it. Sort of,” said Keyonne. “But why do these different Universes exist?”

“Oh, that’s simple. Both existence and belief are powerful forces. Existence causes belief. Belief causes existence. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between cause and effect. Other times they are, in fact, the same. But the most powerful of all are words and pictures, for they can cause belief without existence, and existence without belief.”

“That,” said Relena, “Is so, so… deep! Not to mention incredibly boring. Can we do something else now?”

“Hey, I got an idea,” said Keyonne. “How about we find somewhere to transform so we can kill that evil monster that’s attacking people?”

“Gee, and just when I was getting comfortable,” said Relena.

“Super Pretty Magic Beautiful Power Gundam Activate! Oh hell, wait a sec, I mean Super Pretty Magic Beautiful Gundam Power Activate!”

“Gundam Deathscythe Hell Transformation!”

“Gundam Heavyarms Transformation!”

Cue Nude Transformation Scene!

“Alright, here goes!” yelled Relena. “Evil, um… fire… hydrant… monster… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I’m sorry, I can’t go on! This is too funny! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What kind of ridiculous idiot goes around making fire hydrant monsters! This is too rich! I can’t believe this. Hey, do get a lot of trouble from dogs? I mean, how could they resist you. Five times normal size! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Hey, I can’t help the fact that my master lacks imagination. She just modeled me after the first thing she saw! That’s really not fair!”

“I know, I’m sorry. But you’re still a freaking joke! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! My only worry is that I’ll be unable to fight back as I’m being paralyzed with laughter! HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Hey,” said the monster, “That’s a good idea!”

REALLY STRONG WATER BLAST!

“Ouch! Ow! Get off my foot! Watch where you’re putting that hand! This is so not good style!” Various shouts of pain came from the wet pile of fallen Gundam Girls. The monster laughed, unaware of the two figures behind him.

This was not surprising neither of the two figures was very imposing or memorable. However, by coincidence, they had decided to take a different route home that day, and coincidentally met up with each other. They also coincidentally appeared at the ideal moment.

They were, completely coincidentally, Ayeka and Celena.

Coincidence is just fate that doesn’t want to work very hard.

The whole pile of Gundam Girls saw the two new people at once and froze.

Relena stared at Ryoko.

Ryoko stared at Relena.

“Screw it,” they both said at the same time.

Relena grabbed the last two rods. Ryoko grabbed Ryo Ohki. All three were hurled towards the new figures, accompanied by a fading yell of “You guys are so dead when this is over!”

“I don’t know what you are trying to accomplish,” said the monster, “But it won’t work!”

WATER TIE-UP ROPE!

A stream of blue water, somehow solidified, wrapped around Relena, Ryoko, and Keyonne, bunching them into a nice little bundle.

“Now I have you! Prepare to be threatened! You suck! I could kill you. Watch, as I bring a nasty spiked death thing near your face. Do you think I could move it any slower? I don’t. I might decide to kill you eventually.”

FLAMETHROWER BLAST!

DUAL SICKLE BOOMERANG!

“UWAAAAGGGGHHH!” yelled the monster, as Celena’s flamethrowers scored a direct him on his back. Ayeka’s sickles neatly sliced the cord binding Relena and co. before returning to her hands.

“I am Gundam Sandrock! I love peace, but if the only way to peace is through your corpse, then so be it!”

“I am Gundam Shen-Long! My flames of justice shall reduce you and all other evil to ashes!”

“Everyone!” yelled Relena, “Let’s show him what we’re made of!”

SCYTHE SLASH WAVE!

GATTLING GUNFIRE!

“Arg! You’re power is great indeed. But I still live!”

“Not for long! Super Pretty Gundam Zero Beam Attack!”

KA-BOOM!

“Well,” said Relena, “That about takes care of that.”

In a different plane, Death watched and smiled. YES, IT DOES, he said to no one in particular.

And in an entirely different Universe, in a block far, far away, another watched, smiled, and thought, ‘this is gonna be fun.’

Still smiling, Misato stopped watching and headed out to finish preparations.

End of Saga 1: And So It Begins

Next episode will be the first of Saga 2: There Is A Hole In Your World, not to mention the Giant Christmas Spectacular! What will happen? Now that the stage is set, things will really start heating up! Look for new cast members, new Gundams, and maybe even a few giant robots that aren’t Gundams! Things are about to heat up! So be sure to tune in next time! Just one hint:

HO. HO. HO.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’m well aware that I misspelled a bunch of the Tenchi girls, especially Keyonne. It’s for a reason! It’s supposed to be because these aren’t the same people as their Tenchi counterparts, but are instead just close copies. It may or may not make more sense later on. Don’t worry about it.