Oh boy, I've sure done it now. I'm attempting the impossible: writing a coherent Evangelion review. No matter what I say about it, I'll still get tons of people angry, so I might as well say what I think.

It's not like there are many otakus (Otaki? Otaku? What the hell's the plural of Otaku?) or even anime fans (anime fans differ from otakus in that they aren't raving psychos and are much more loose about it. However, even relatively normal anime fans hate Fox for their Esca dub) like me who haven't seen Eva yet. So this is probably pretty useless. But what the hell.

At first glance, Evangelion is a traditional kids-in-giant-robots-save-world show. However, Eva seems to have taken a wrong turn just left of Sodom and Gamora. It has a lot of the conventions of mech shows, while somehow managing to twist them into new and strange shapes. Take the normal, enthusiastic main character, and replace him with Shinji Ikari, who's about 180 degrees away. He hates the Evas, and swears off piloting them no less than two times during the series, yet each time gets back in at the last moment to save everyone's ass.

Then there's Rei, who should be the love interest, but she apparently hasn't had an original thought in her head since she was born. And to round out the cast of pilots is Asuka, a jealous German redhead who should be the cocky sidekick/rival, and is- for the first 6 or so episodes she's in. Then she starts to suck worse than Shinji, which begins her fall into a manic-depressive state, eventually leading up to her being rendered unable to even make her Eva move. Oh yeah, then she dissapears for a couple episodes to play videogames for the whole day, and eventually ends up in a bathtub in some totally shattered hut. Obviously she was smoking some of the same stuff the writers were when they made the final two episodes.

About those final two episodes: There's not much I can say that hasn't been already said. They resolved nothing, were really stupid, and a complete dissapointment. However, the movie (End of Evangelion, not to be confused with Death and Rebirth) supposedly resovles all this, so I'll let it pass. Of course, it resolves it by killing everyone, but after those final episodes they probably deserve it.

NOTE: The movie doesn't resolve everything after all. A review should be coming shortly.

I'll stop doing character sketches now, as you probably get the idea. This seems like a pretty good time to cut to the music anyway. It's damn good, especially the 10-or-so battle songs. Of course, about 5 of them are different versions of Normal Blood, but since Normal Blood's one of the coolest battle songs to date, I don't mind. The supporting track is great too, with the noted exception of Asuka's theme, which sounds like some sort of drug-induced hoe-down, complete with stringy guitars. Obviously Asuka and the head writer weren't the only ones to get a hold of some illegal substances.

And now for the kicker, which I purposely saved for last. You know how nowdays, everything seems intent on fitting in at least a couple pieces of religious symbolism that doesn't fit at all (or in the case of Xenogears, a couple of pieces that WEREN'T religious symbolism. Strangely enough, Xenogears was the only one to really fail.)? Well, there had to be a first, and Evangelion is it. It's got everything from Adam and Eve (hint: think Eva) and Lilith to Angels and Dead Sea Scrolls and Seele. Hell, it even manages to have Adam, crucified, impaled with the Spear of Longinus (for those not Christian like myself, the Spear of Longinus was the spear Longinus used to impale Jesus when he was on the cross), which Eve (hint: Eva) pulls out of him and uses to kill an Angel, in the process of which she loses the spear, and to make it even better, Adam later turns out to be Lilith! Whew, just try and make that out. I dare you. It's the sort of thing that could give the Pope and half the Vatican strokes. It's this ludicrous symbolism that really hurts the series, although it is sort of nice for aspiring MSTers.

Even with it's tendancy to wander off into religious stupidity, Eva's still a damn good series. It may not be the first kids-in-robots-save-world show, but it is the first to both physically and emotionally torture said kids into near-suicide. Enjoy!

Despite how much I like to make fun of it, Evangelion's a damn good show. Just don't take the symbolism too seriously, OK?
SCORE: 8.5

In a relatively unrelated note, Eva's the only series I actually condone getting pirated, because of the ridiculous $300 asking price for the box set. Making a profit is fine, but that kind of price is just ludicrous.