If's I'm preparin'
For some Christmas sharin'
But I pause because
Hangin' my stockin
I can hear a knockin'
'Zat You , Santa Claus?

Sure is dark out
Ain't the slightest spark out
On my clackin' jaws
Who's there, who is it
Stoppin' for a visit?
'Zat You, Santa Claus?

Are you bringin' a present for me?
Something pleasantly pleasant for me?
And it's just what I've been waiting for
Would you mind slippin' it under the door?

Cold winds are howlin'
Or could that be growlin'?
My legs feel like straws
My, my, oh me, my
Kindly will you reply
Is 'Zat You, Santa Claus?

Hangin' the stockin'
I can hear a knockin'
Is 'Zat You, Santa Claus?
Who's there, who is it
Stoppin' for a visit?
Is 'Zat You, Santa Claus?

Whoa there, Santa, you gave me a scare
Stop teasin', cuz I know you there
We don't believe in no goblins today
But I can't explain why I'm shakin' this way

Now I can see ol' Santa through the keyhole
I'll get to the cause
One peak and I'll try there
Uh, oh there's an eye there!
'Zat You, Santa Claus?

Please, please, I'm bendin' my knees
Is 'Zat You, Santa Claus?

I Wanna Be Just Like You (the monkey song)

Now I'm the king of the swingers, boy, Jungle V.I.P.
I've reached the top, and had to stop
And that's what's bothering me
I wanna be a man, now man cub
Stroll right into town
And be just like the other men
I'm tired of monkeying around

So woowooooh, I wanna be just like you
I wanna walk like you, talk like you do
You see it's true, an ape like me
Can learn to be human too, yeah

Now, don't you mess with me man-cub
I made a deal with you
What I desire is man's red fire
So I can be just like you
An' don't you mess with me man-cub
Show me what to do
Give me the power of man's red flower
So I can be just like you

Christmastime in Tinseltown (again)

Well, it's Christmas time in Tinseltown again
Well, it's been so long, Ol' St. Nick where have you been
With your Christmas lights, those tourist brights, egg nog, and rum
I sent a Christmas card to the boulevard; to Jack the bum

But I know when it snows at night
That I get to hold you oh so tight
And kiss you under the mistletoe tonight

Well it's Christmas time in Tinseltown again...
Well it's Christmas time in Tinseltown again

I know it's been a year, but man it feels like ten
All the hoods are here to spread the Christmas cheer, handguns and wine
I got my pocket picked from Ol' St. Nick, but I'm feelin' fine

Scotty: Christmas time, shmishmas time, Jack. I was down in Tinseltown the other day, and I believe that Santa Claus picked my pocket!
All: Awwww, man.
Kurt: That's terrible, man.
Scotty: Kid, you were there. When you were sitting on Santa's lap, what did you ask Santa for?

Glen: Yo, man, I asked Santa Claus for a shiny gold trumpet and a big Kahuna Burger, 'cause those are some tasty burgers!
All: Yeah! Right on.
Glen: Yo man, Luscious, what did you ask him for?

Andy: Well, I just asked him for a tiny little saxophone to give to my little boy, Nate.
All: That's cute.
Andy: Hey Jeff, what would you like for Christmas?

Jeff: You know what I'd like for Christmas, man? I would just like to meet the greatest trombone player that's ever lived, J. J. Johnson.
Dirk: That's cool.
All: Right on.
Glen: Trombone?!?!
Jeff: What about you, Nature, what would you like?

Kurt: I'd like to grow a goatee, baby!
All: Yeah!
Glen: Get real man, you can't grow a goatee, man. You gotta eat meat first!
Andy: Never happen, man. Never happen.
Kurt: How about you Dirk?

Dirk: Uh, I want a brand new pair of black Stacy Adams shoes to go dancing in.
All: Alright! Nice. Yeah!
Dirk: Anyway, what do you want for Christmas, Scotty?

Scotty: Well, I've been thinkin' about it, Jack, and I'd like world peace.

All: Awwwww
Scotty: And some white-walls for my '59 Belair!
All: Alright!

Well it's Christmas time in Tinseltown again...

What do you want for Christmas, baby?