LEXX

Well.. this has got to be one of the weirdest sackings of a Shakespeare play I have ever seen, and in that sense.. it's almost likeable...hehehehehehe!!

There's a few in-jokes I found a giggle, and some groan-inducing send up of Brits, marriage etc, that are best forgotten. We begin this little opus with Stan and Kai flying down to the Earth again, with a very much dead-dead Xev in Stan's arms. Stan mutters something about the inhabitants of the place they are headed to.....heheheheheh...yup...we 'Engs' sure are lucky Stan..eh! ;)

Then it turns out they ain't going where Uther told 'em to go. Quick check back with 790 shows the co-ordinates have changed, as the countryside is affected by Foot 'n Mouth. ( Some would say that's my problem....LOL...actually, I get PMS..otherwise known as 'Mad Cow' disease more often >:)....) Soooo...they head to that centre of of the British Countryside.....London!!

Oh...bugger, thanks for reminding the planet we have yet another agricultural problem Beans. We WERE hoping to sweep that under the carpet, hoping the rest of the world had forgotten...LOL!! So where do they end up...Battersea bloody Power Station.....LOL!!

I like the nice touch of the ‘DruidCon', and wonder if this is a send up of most conventions that take place...scifi or otherwise...You can recognize the officious stance of most of the ‘committee'. And they don't accept Uther's recommendations (aka ‘Nutty' Nigel Bunsen, ex..skiffle artiste), for letting our chaps and chapette in to the gig...

..but at least they recognize Tarquin Falstaff from ‘Druids of England'....or is he...? Not all is as it seems! Anyway, Tarquin Thingie whammys young Colin Hamilton-Smythe at the gate, and our gang gets in for free. Tarquin and his friend, plus a wiggling sack, go in afterwards...to deliver the ‘Meade'.

Next, we're in the highly unimpressive marquee for the festival itself ( Actually reminds me of a friend's birthday party, a large tent in the middle of a field, with a loud rock band, beer and plenty of nosh...'GulvalFest'...but at least, that was FUN!! ).

Stan is unimpressed by the puppet show   ( as I am ), and poor dead-dead Xev is dumped onto a chair, left to flop about.

Heheheheheh......I like the touch of the overhead projector to explain the feast, with suitably appalling illustrations. LOL...and the Mincefield Family...mwahahahahahah!! Arr whell, all the attendees have meade...which has been strangely doctored by Tarquin Thingie and his accomplice, and they drop to the floor like flies on a Vapona strip.

Now, Stan is warned NOT to drink the Meade, but the silly bugger does so...*thud*....as do all the other attendees. Then all but Stan, Xev, Kai and the two geezers and the sack disappear...........

Now we find out...Tarquin Whatsit is not who he seems... no not Morgath, but Oberon, King Of The Fairies...with his manservant Puck...and in a sack...a blond wigged, bearded, baritoned dwarf (!?!) in a flowery dress and pearly neck lace...who... awwwwwwwww YAKETTY YACK!! Runs over to Kai and kisses him full on the lips!!! Wanting a REAL man!!*puke!* ( Hope yer fond of seven metal ‘genitals' over a metal smoking cod, that look like fondue skewers mate... )

Seems said Yorkshire midget is Titania, Oberon's soon to be ex- wife...*shudder*, as Oberon likes to swap wives every 1500 years or so. Oberon wakes up Xev.... awww...*SWEET*, but he obviously has plans for our gang. Xev is gonna be the replacement Titania, Kai is gonna get his for attacking Oberon, and Stan...oh dear!!

So taking advice from a parakeet ( sounds like the usual thing leaders do ), he issues a challenge, gets out the world's largest egg timer and tells ‘em they can all be free if they can escape before the sand runs through...but it's not going to be easy....surprise, surprise......

Anywhoosie...out walks Kai from the tent, and ends up in a forest...ack! It's the place where all dark men end up, and become trees...singing a dreadful song to the tune of ‘Row, Row Your Boat' with joy for Oberon.....yuk... Stan and Xev follow, but get stopped by two branches...and they watch as Kai ‘fulfills his destiny...to be filled with the purest love and joy for Oberon etc'. Kai starts doing a happy dance and joins in...Stan and Xev run back in to the tent.

And then we have a bit of a domestic between Oberon and Titania ( I wouldn't like to be married to EITHER of ‘em...), Puck tries to keep them on track. Puck has a word in Xev's shell like ear....Kai is still singing, Stan is making desperate phone calls...to Titania, not 790...LOL...so Xev tries her hand at marriage guidance, has a history lesson from Oberon and learns the ingredients of cheap mead...all you need is 12 crates of lager and a drum of Golden Syrup...........( Note for Christmas booze list ;)......).

So now Xev gets curious and asks what it is like to be Queen...and gets whisked away to a some place with a castle...and an endless field of midget sun flowers. Dressed in a white dress etc, Xev frolics with Oberon and he chases her through the meadow and back into the tent. ( Gawd! William Shakespeare must be spinning at warp speed by now!! ). Stan chats with Puck and finds Oberon isn't quite the ladies man he seems to be....his preferences being a little AC/DC...

Now Xev makes a BIT of a mistake and tries to put conditions with her accepting Obie's marriage proposal....I think Oberon would have been ok in releasing Kai and Stan...but to be nice to Titania......whoops, the golden sunny paradise becomes cloudy as Oberon gets a tad annoyed.....he doesn't want to and he ain't gonna.....'cos he's the bloody king.....so decides he's gonna marry Stan instead!

Xev kicks up a stink back in the forest, so Puck gets her to join Kai and the other singing trees, for a bit of off key roundel singing...*Bug shoves ear plugs in...quick!*...and zaps them both with his magic squeezy thingie, and of course...Xev finally joins Kai in the tree department.

So Oberon takes Stan on the ‘magic kingdom tour...'   Stan in white dress etc....and Oberon is now miffed because Stan is a ‘front door kinda man' and Oberon is a ‘back door kinda guy', and naturally Stan politely turns down the request. So...back into the tent we go..........hmmmmmmm...hey nonny, nonny ho!!!!!!!!!

Now, when Stan has his back turned...Oberon turns himself into a Xev look-alike to trick Stan...and Stan...the silly fool, falls for it...thinking he is finally gonna get Xev in the sack. Puck grabs Titania and takes him/her/it out into the forest.



While Stan prepares to roast his toast, Puck gets him dressed up in the dress again, and Stan finds he can't QUITE manage the high heels, and falls over. IN THE MEANTIME....Titania has somehow nicked Puck's magic squeezy thingie, and rescues Kai and Xev from their tree forms.

The plan then lads is...they all turn in to Stan Look-a-likes, except Titania. Even Puck gets the same treatment... Stan is having his mind blown by all this, and comes to realize that he has been tricked by Oberon...Are you all keeping up with this BTW...'cos I'm having a tough time typing it up.....LOL!!!! ( Brian Downey does a reasonable impression of Kai, Xev and Puck.) And so Oberon has a time on his hands, now trying to figure out who the real Stan is.

They all manage to keep their mouths shut.,..and Oberon becomes convinced that Titania has turned Stan in to his/her/it's form...and is picked out by Oberon...

He realizes his mistake too late, as Stan, Kai, Xev and Puck return to their own forms...and Oberon is sucked back into what now will be a marriage to Titania for eternity......*phew!*

Now the spell has been broken...we return to the feast of Morgath, the attendees wake up from their ‘Meade' and depart for home...and the last we see of our heroes is as they fly off over the towers of Battersea Power Station in a moth back to the Lexx.

Cue Music and roll end titles...what's gonna happen in the NEXT episode!!!............. *Gawd my fingers ache!!!!*

( Oh...BTW...If you lot want to see a REAL folk festival with Pagan overtones...that isn't too commercialized...get yer bums to Cornwall for ‘Obby ‘Oss Day next May in Padstow, Golowan in Penzance or Feast Day at St. Just in June...and you won't be ripped off by festival organizers either!! )