LEXX

Gametown is in full swing with yet another game of volley/basketball as the stranded Kai looks on. It is fairly clear by now that all these people seem to do is play the game and shower. They are far too airheaded to worry about anything, and indeed perhaps this is why Fifi didn't fit in - the other inhabitants don't care about winning or losing, just taking part. Fifi however wanted to win. He seemed to hate the other players and was just biding his time..

Perhaps this goes some of the way to explaining why Gametown is the first target selected by Fifi and Duke for attack in the newfound moths. As the deadly squadron screams towards the innocent town, the players grab their ineffectual weapons - bows and arrows and spears not even slowing down the maruding forces from Fire. Soon the beautiful city is lying in flames with most of the inhabitants dead or dying; Kai looking helplessly on as Fifi has told Duke about his wrist brace and the moth pilots know to keep out of range.

Duke and Fifi seem to be getting on like a house on, erm, fire (excuse the pun, again) with Duke accusing Fifi of being a small-minded, self-centered, vindictive, perfectly evil human being, before telling him that's why he likes him. The victims of their destruction however are realising that they are doomed, and a dying Brock, captain of the other team, pleads with Kai to look after Bunny when he's gone, explaining that she is in love with the assassin. Kai reluctantly agrees with "I will try".

There is seemingly no way off the city as the moths have gone and Kai cannot swim (being too dense, and I mean that in a physical sense). At the last minute however, a careless moth pilot happens to drop just within range of Kai's brace, which he fires with deadly accuracy capturing the moth and climbing aboard with the dippy Bunny. The other moths don't seem to notice, as they make their way back to Fire, when one of their number sneaks off towards the big bug in the sky.

Aboard the Lexx Stan and Xev are recovering from their ordeal with Prince and May, and suddenly realise that they are very hungry. Lexx, being out of food himself, cannot possibly provide nourishment for the crew. Kai and Bunny arrive on the bridge their surprise, and when Bunny introduces herself 790's greeting is "SLUT!".

Bunny doesn't have time to be taken aback as Kai is on the case, suggesting that they build more moths and return to Water to get food. She unwraps herself from Kai as Stan starts interrogating her as to the cities on Water. You can tell he's attempting to find a city with cheap, preferably free, love all round. What with May's body not even cold yet...well it wouldn't be I suppose as she's still alive, but you know what I mean. You would have thought that Stan would learn his lesson and take things a bit more slowly next time. But no, he's trying to explain subtly to Bunny that he wants a shag. As his shaded references are clearly not getting through to the dizzy blonde, Xev helps him out: "He wants to get girls in bed. But since most girls, even those with highly accelerated libido’s, do not want to go to bed with him, Stanley Tweedle is constantly looking for planets where the girls don’t care who he is." Stan looks hurt, especially when she adds "All he wants is sex, with anyone, anywhere, anytime. He’s desperate."

Bunny finally cottons on, suggesting that they visit Boomtown - a place where there is plenty to eat and, um, do. Stan is impatient to get there PDQ, having been assured by Bunny that it's a "non-stop sex city, that’s what they do there." It seems every city has a purpose - one for playing games, one for having sex - the people of Water have a very cushy life it would seem.

Boomtown is another floating city populated by beautiful young attractive dippy people much in the way that Gametown was. The crew receive a warm welcome from the inhabitants and are invited to a banquet. Xev and Stan tuck into the luscious fresh fruit laid before them while the conversation turns to sex. Well, not sex itself but the undertone is definitely that of shagging like bunnies as soon as possible. This is unsurprising given the incredible attractiveness of the general populus. Stan's eyes are out on stalks while Xev gets down to some serious chatting-up with a blonde man who later reveals that his name is "Root". Kai abstains from the feast due, as he explains to an incorrigible Bunny, he has no stomach. Bunny just will not get the hint with Kai as she is still desperately trying to pull him.

Stan makes a "friend" and winks at Xev as he is lead off to a far more private area. Not that Xev cares as she is too busy with Root. The private room is interesting in it's decor - the walls are covered in breasts. Not real breasts, I don't think, but definitely breast shaped objects. Anaglypta never looked so good. Stan's wonder at the ornamentation is broken by his lovely companion who is stripped and in the large soft bed. She introduces herself as "Peach" and beckons for Stan to join her. Stan looks very pleased with himself indeed...

Kai in the meantime is getting some unwanted attention in the Bunny department. The silly cow obviously hasn't got a brain cell in her head but then perhaps they're perfectly suited as Kai soon asks "Are you trying to seduce me?" Well duh...
Bunny smiles and confirms that yes, she is indeed trying to seduce him. Kai fixes her with a gaze and explains that "The dead cannot be seduced". Bunny fails to grasp the concept. "Bunny," he breaks it to her gently but firmly, "I am dead!". "No you're not" she happily denies. Someone give her a slap...pleeeze! To illustrate the point, Kai takes his wrist brace and slices off his own arm. With severed fingers waggling at her, he again stares her directly in the eye. "Yes, I am" he reiterates. Far from being freaked by this, Bunny concludes that it's a "neat trick!". She then looks slyly at him and asks "And do other parts of you perform that well...?". Xev interrupts, from her conversation with her companion, to explain to the cheerleader that Kai's other parts do not perform at all, and that she will have to find staisfaction elsewhere. "Likewise, Xev" retorts Kai. Unnecessarily, I thought. Poor Xev has already lost Prince, and now Kai has to rub her nose in her love for him. Perhaps this is why Xev ignores him and publicly takes Root off for some rooting.

On Fire things are hotting up. Duke and Fifi are launching a coup against Prince's city. Duke is the second in command on Fire and decides to mount a take-over bid with his new advantage of the moths. Prince's city is aerially attacked with flaming arrows as the army inside futily try to fight back at the moths that are out of range. Prince is not a happy man.

Stan tries to chat up Peach before realising that it's not conversation she's interested in. He doesn't need to be asked twice.

And neither for that matter does Xev, although her problem is the other way around. She's desperately trying to get the kecks off Root but he wants to make her wait. He's some sort of foreplay junkie, eating grapes out of her belly button when all she wants to do is shag his brains out.

Kai, still with the indefatigable Bunny, is curious. "Why are there no children?" he asks, logically enough. I mean with all this sex going on, the place ought to be overrun with ankle-biters, but there's not a Fisher Price Activity Centre in sight. Bunny looks confused. "What are children?" she asks. Kai explains about the small people that result from sex. Bunny points out that fun results from sex, and nothing more. Kai enquires about where the people come from in the cities but is told that they just wake up one day in a city, and there they are. And as far as Bunny can remember, she's always been the same size. Kai's bewilderment at the reproductive habits of the Waterians is cut short by Bunny's foot, which she has strategically placed in his groin and is moving about gently but firmly. Her intention to arouse Kai is obvious, so much so that he remarks "I have not been aroused for six thousand years." Then as if to underline the point, he crosses his legs.
"Boy you must be really frustrated." She remarks. "No, I am not frustrated." You can see his patience beginning to crack as she gives it one last attempt.
"You really want me don’t you?" She tries.
"The dead do not get frustrated. The dead do not have wants. The dead are simply...dead!" If she doesn't get it this time, he may have to chop her up into little bits. Oh no, wait, that's me...
"You’re so weird!" she finishes lamely.

Prince's town is in ruins, the moths having done their work. He has one remaining moth which he could use to escape, and this is probably his only chance of survival. Duke in the meantime heads back to his own city to await Prince's arrival. He feels sure that Prince will come to Duketown so that Duke can kill him. Fifi is understandably confused. "Why would Prince want you to kill him?" he asks, but his boss merely replies that Fifi has much to learn.

Stan is a spent man; Peach has sucked his juices and I'm sure he gave her stone a good pummelling. Was that unnecessary? Sorry. Anyway, having had his Peach and eaten it, Stan lays back exhausted. Peach has other ideas however, and gets up to leave. Stan is concerned that he won't get to snuggle, but Peach introduces another couple of luvverly laydees to the dazed Stanley. They are called Pear and Plum, and they've got a whole fruit bowl of passion to get off their sumptuous chests. Stan is too polite to refuse...

In Duketown, Fifi is given a promotion. Duke lays off his previous right hand man but it's unlikely he'll be claiming severence pay due to the fact that getting the sack in this town is terminal. The doomed employee is tied up and painted with some sort of highly flammable paste. The Fifi sets him on fire. Now THAT's career progression. In the midst of all this jollity, Prince arrives with May in tow. He tries to reason with Duke, saying how they should be united in fighting Water, not each other. Duke however explains that he wants Fire for himself, and illustrates the point by showing the fallen Prince his crumbling tower in the distance. Prince looks less upset than you'd think, especially when Duke feeds May a little something with a pair of tweezers. May seems to have switched sides yet again, now appearing to be in the employ of Duke. Has she already betrayed Prince, or is she about to? Sensing defeat, perhaps, Prince kneels before Duke and says "I am ready to die". The ever eager Fifi jumps up to do the deed, but Duke stops him "NO!". "But you will suffer," he promises Prince. Duke has less control over his newest minion, however, when May grabs a crossbow and fires it into Prince's chest. He thanks May with his dying breath. It looks as if May has indeed betrayed Prince, and yet Duke is not pleased at her actions. Prince's body then turns to dust and disappears. The angry Duke barks "Alive he is no threat, but dead he will come back to haunt us." So perhaps May is not a turncoat after all...of course being loyal to Prince or loyal to Duke doesn't seem to make much difference at the moment - I think they're both as bad as each other. May gets her reward from Duke for aiding Prince. She too is tied up and smeared in paste, then just as you think Prince is going to turn up and she might get rescued after all, she doesn't. She gets burned alive. Eeeeuw.

It's been a full day for Fifi, what with betraying his planet, selling his services to a bad bad man, terrorising the general population, murdering his predecessor, pondering the death of a dead man who came back to life and now torching a pretty blonde, he is understandably a bit shell shocked and confused. He asks Duke to explain, which he does. It seems the people of Fire, and indeed Water, are not born, but re-incarnated in some way. They wake up somewhere and that's that. Before they wake up they existed, but they don't remember who they were, and if they die, that's when the pain begins (sounds like a bad idea to me, but who am I to complain?) Except for Prince, however, who seems to control when and who he gets reincarnated as. Sometimes people wake up in the wrong city...like Fifi did. He was obviously far more suited to one of the cities on Fire than Water. His explanation(?) complete, Duke decides a bit more mayhem and murder wouldn't go amiss, and decides to trash Boomtown.

Whilst Xev continues to try and pin down the foreplay junkie, Stan is getting plenty of a good thing. Pear and Plum are also having a lovely time, so much so that they invite Peach back to join in the melee. Stan is a little worn out however, and asks for a breather. "Stop? I don't understand" the girls chorus just as two more buxom lovelies enter the room. They introduce themselves as Cherry and Olive and strip off. Stan develops a headache. Unfortunately it seems that the people of Water have either developed permanent Aspirin or just don't get headaches as the girls fail to understand and Stan disappears beneath a pile of heaving bodies.

The moths from Fire are approaching Boomtown, ready to attack. Bunny and Kai watch from the balcony as they begin their descent. In the bedroom, Xev is getting more than a little frustrated with her loquacious hunk when she notices Kai through the window. Getting bored she is open to distraction, especially as she notices that he appears to be half-naked! He calls her name and she cannot help but dump the blonde guy and find out what's occurring. Kai's skin is warm as she touches it and he is wearing some sort of short blue toga apparatus. His hair falls in ringlets around his shoulders and he is looking very, very attractive indeed... Xev breathlessly asks what has happened to him. "I only know that I am here and that I had to come to you" he explains. Root seems quite happy to let Xev bugger off with Kai, after all I suppose he can have sex whenever he wants it. In fact he even kisses her goodbye. Then he kisses Kai goodbye. Kai doesn't appear to mind. And then just as Xev is about to push Kai on the bed and have her wicked way, the air raid siren goes off.

Stan sighs in relief as the juicy ladies all leave to get ready to fight.

Xev and Kai go to prepare for the attack and run into Kai. There appear suddenly to be two of them. One however is most definitely still the dead old Kai we know and love whereas the other is alive, warm, ringlety and smiles readily. Mmmmmm. Sorry, mind wandered for a minute there...ahem.

Anyway, Stan comes rushing out of the bedroom wondering about all the commotion when he runs into Xev and Kai and Kai too. Stunned Stan wonders if he's dreaming this, but Xev reassures him that it appears to be real. What luck..! She can't explain it to Stan, but she seems quite happy to accept the situation, after all she may finally get what she wants...

Arming themselves they jump back into the moth with Bunny, the two Kai's balanced on each the Moth's front legs. The Live Kai has a bow and arrow which he uses to try and hit the marauding moths under the control of Duke's forces. The crew are hopelessly outnumbered by the moths that suddenly give chase...