LEXX

'790's eye screens flicker aboard the Lexx's silent bridge. The rest of the crew are nowhere to be seen as he awakes on his little skateboard-type effort that he used in I Worship His Shadow. Shouting for Xev, 790 is left helpless as his skateboard misfires and knocks him onto the floor before driving itself off the edge of the bridge. His screams fail to summon his beloved who is frozen in a cryopod along with Stan and Kai.

Lexx is meanwhile orbiting a binary planet system that seems to consist of one reddish, sandy planet and one planet covered entirely in water. The planets are so close, in fact, that there is a whirlwind-looking wind tunnel connecting the two. A long thin hot-air balloon is approaching the silent Lexx with 3 men in it's basket. One, the apparent leader, is a blonde man in black with a ring through his bottom lip who sips delicately at a phial of clear liquid. The crew of the balloon fire a harpoon at the drifting bug and pull themselves aboard.

The Lexx is looking old. Very old. Inside, as the visitors explore, dust in thick layers covers every surface, including that of a dead moth. Making their way to the bridge, they find the incapacitated 790 who demands that they take him to Xev. The blonde man is intrigued as to this "Xev" and wants to know who else in on board. 790's obsessive ranting about Xev leads him to believe that she is the important one, far more so than the unimportant Stanley Tweedle and the dead man, as the robot head describes them. In thanks for the information, the blonde man kicks 790 off the edge of the bridge to land in pieces in the goo below...

In search of the crew, the assailants discover the cryo-chamber and it's sleeping occupants. Experimenting with the equipment, the blonde man opens Stanley's pod and he comes too, shaking ice crystals from his body. He looks in confusion at the blonde man who identifies himself as Prince. Stan introduces himself as the Captain of the Lexx, but Prince isn't listening - explaining instead that the Lexx was thought of as a comet circling the desert planet "Fire" for a very long time and that there have been many missions to try and get to it, all of which have failed. Stan, understandably fazed by his discoverer, tries to make a break for it but his capturers are too quick and Prince interrogates him as to how Lexx came to be in orbit around the planets.

Flashback to the events at the end of "End of the Universe" - Mantrid has been destroyed in timely fashion by Xev's heel and the crew are debating where to go next. Unfortunately this conversation becomes irrelevant as Lexx mentions that he can't go anywhere because he's out of fuel. As there are no nearby planets for him to feed on, and 790 calculates that it'll take between 900 and 16,000 years to drift into the orbit of a suitable planet, the crew decide to go into cryosleep. 790 will power up once a month to check for any planets in the vicinity and Kai will awake himself once a year to make sure 790 hasn't malfunctioned.

4,000 years later, Prince wakes Stan.

Stan tries to fool Prince that the other crew members are unimportant - he describes Kai as dead and Xev as "a nurse or something". Unfortunately 790's words are still fresh in Prince's mind and he turns angry, a large skin-like crest shooting out of his neck like a crazed iguana. He decides to take Xev, still in her cryopod, and Stanley back to the planet with him.

As Xev's cryopod is slowly warmed over an open fire, Stan is taken off to be a slave in the bowels of Prince's tower kingdom. The planet's surface is a desolate, barren desert, devoid of water and all signs of life except for a few towers sticking hundreds of miles up out of the scorching sand. Stan is strapped into a contraption that appears to be part of an enormous air conditioning system. His captors are bound in sweaty leather attire with hooks sticking out of their heads which are used to transport them between the various levels of the tower on a chain and pulley system. Stan tries to reason with his captors but their replies are just squeaks...which Stan suddenly realises are because they wear their tongues as jewellery round their necks. His arms are strapped to the chair and his feet placed on pedals, his captors indicating that he must pedal. His objections are met with a sharp stick so he finally agrees.

Kai has meanwhile awoken and found himself alone save for the smashed 790 pieces below the bridge. Retrieving the damaged robot head, he settles himself down to fix it.

Stan stops peddling, complaining to his captors that he hasn't done anything wrong and his legs are getting tired. The captors seem to respond but then Stan realises that they've attached the machine to a guillotine! The pedals are attached to an arm with a weight on it, so if Stan stops peddling the weight will fall off and trigger the guillotine - and Stan will lose not only his hat but his hat stand, too!

Kai switches 790 back online. His eyes flicker as he reboots, finally fixing on Kai and saying "I will love you forever". It seems 790 has been completely reset back tothe moment of his love slave transformation...and Kai is the first thing he sets eyes on! Kai looks unimpressed.

Xev is thawing out nicely. She awakes, shaking the ice rivulets from her hair, which has obviously grown in cryostasis. Longer and blonder, with red streaks, her hair is tangled and hangs in hanks as she flicks it back off her face and wipes the perspiration away. She also rips the waist out of her costume, leaving a very fetching cluster lizard-skin top and skirt affair, and revealing a tattoo around her naval. Prince is obviously impressed with her and tells her the story of the two planets.

Fire, this planet, is at war with Water...the other planet. No-one knows how long they've been at war, or even why. The only way Fire can keep cool is by the air conditioning system below them (in other words, the thousands of slaves pedalling furiously - Stan being one of them). From the window Prince indicates the water planet, telling Xev that this will soon be their new home. He says he can sense a deep emptiness in her and tells her that he's waited for her forever. Xev, obviously completely forgetting about Kai in all this, doesn't even flinch when he kisses her, and tells her that she is the one thing that will finish the war between Fire and Water - her and her ship.

Kai, having fixed 790...to a degree...is now trying to explain to it that it doesn't love him, it loves Xev. 790 will not be persuaded otherwise. "YOU are the man of my dreams!" It explains. 790 also does not want to tell Kai what happened to the others. "Do you love me?" Kai asks. "Desperately" replies 790. "The you will help me locate them" Kai insists. 790 agrees: "Whatever you say, heartthrob of desire."

Back on the planet, Stan is desperately peddling to avoid decapitation. "Where's the dead man when you need him?" he asks himself.

Whilst Kai is deciding that he must travel down to one of the planets, albeit that he doesn't know which one, Xev is engaged in conversation with Prince. Although Prince seems convinced that Xev is the Lexx's captain, she explains that Stanley is the only one who can command the Lexx as he has the Key. Prince had told Xev that Stan was dead so is understandably upset by this, especially as he realises that his one way to win the war is currently about to be beheaded.

Kai is perched on top of the Lexx, preparing to jump down to the planet. Unfortunately, he picks the wrong planet and plunges towards Water. 790 is left alone on the bridge.

Stan has run out of energy. Desperately pumping the pedals his strength finally gives out and he shuts his eyes tight as he waits for the inevitable...he is about to lose his head...