LEXX

Two crewmen are watching a porno film aboard a tug towing a tanker of Class 13 waste - The Virgins of the planet Orgasmos are in dire need of men, and are hailing any ships in the area to come and give them a good seeing-to, much to the disgust of the only female crew member. The crewmen are too busy watching the film to notice that the tanker they are towing is heading for some kind of spatial anomaly, and in a few seconds, the tow-line is stretched and then snapped back, catapaulting the tanker into the tug. Luckily, the crew are uninjured, but a strange dust seems to be settling on everything and everyone. As they wake up however, the younger man does not seem well. He falls to the ground and begins to shake violently. Then he seems alright again.

Lexx is hungry. Stan is bored and, as usual, searching space for some kind of habitable planet with beaches and girls. Stan should know by now that nothing good ever happens to him, so when a distress signal from the nearby planet Orgasmos reaches the Lexx, he should ignore it and fly in the other direction. Unfortunately Stan is a sucker for a woman, and immediately sets Lexx following the signal to find the planet of the distressed virgins. Lexx is still hungry however, and decides to stop for a snack. Stanley does not want to wait for Lexx to eat, and is therefore most displeased that, by the time Lexx has finished eating, the signal has disappeared.

Xev is depressed. After the last few weeks of disasterous efforts to find love, or at least sex, she is beginning to realise that Kai is the only one she wants. She decides to confront him with it once and for all, and goes to the cryochamber to wake him. Kai is most surprised to be woken by a frantic Xev demanding sex. He tries to explain to her that he has no desire to, but Xev kisses him and says she doesn't care. He tries to tell her that he can't, that he hasn't had sex for over 2,000 years, but Xev won't leave him alone, and says she doesn't mind if he only pretends to enjoy it, as long as he tries. Kai refuses, and Xev gets really upset. "I hate you! I hate you!" she cries, and storms out. Kai is confused.

Lexx does not feel well. Lexx thinks it may be something he ate. The something he ate in question is the tanker full of Class 13 waste, who's crew is even now trying to get out of Lexx's stomach before he digests them. They manage to break through the membrane 'walls' and find themselves in a passageway. This time, it is the older man who feels ill. He also falls to the ground and shakes then, just as quickly, recovers. They continue, until Stan and Xev, having worked out what Lexx must have eaten, find them wandering around. Xev is very pleased that the two male crew members appear to be strong, attractive(ish) and fully functional, and goes out of her way to make them feel at home. Stan is less impressed that the female member of the crew is large, unattractive, and attracted to him, and gets out of her way.

After getting the crew some food, Xev says she is "very tired" and may need someone to come and put her to bed. Of course, she has no lack of volunteers, and she takes the older man with her. Stan, meanwhile, is lumbered with the 'lady' from the crew, who does not seem backward in coming forward. He tries to bid her goodnight but suddenly she falls over and begins shaking as well. Xev and the crewman are getting well and truly "tucked in" by now, until she tries to take off his trousers. He suddenly sits up, screams, and runs away. Xev is most unimpressed, but, feeling philosophical, lets him go, and lays back. Obviously still thinking about him, however, her hand wanders lower until, with a start, she feels something that shouldn't be there...

Stan doesn't know whether he should save himself, but the big momma is very pushy, so he gives in. Xev finds herself giving chase to Stan. The crewmen are running around the Lexx, trying to get away from the big momma who has finished with Stan, Xev decides she wants Stan NOW, and won't take no for an answer, and The Lexx asks Kai whether he finds her attractive. Something is going on here.

Kai works out that the cargo of the tanker was a genetically modified weapon that changes the sex of anyone it encounters. 790 is trying to work on a cure for the virus, but this will take longer than the crew have, for after 60 hours it will kill them. Kai suggests they all get in the cryopods while 790 works on the cure, but suddenly a shower of dust falls all across the ship, reverting the crews of both ships to normal. It turns out that Lexx did not feel well, so he synthesised an antibody to cure himself and the crew, just going to prove it's right handy having a biological spaceship. The tanker crew, reverted to normal, unfortunately have their celebrations cut a little short, however, when a large and possibly unevolved man appears from a corridor wearing a rather fetching hat and brandishing a big stick...