LEXX

Stanley is about to go under the knife! We see an obvious total nutcase, dulling the surgical equipment on purpose! Dr. Not-Too-Sane lets Stan know, that he himself had been sent to the asylum fifteen years previously as a patient. He says someone, "We still don't know who", got his file mixed up, (oh yeah I bet we can see Prince's slimy hand behind that one)! At any rate, Mr. Whacko has been practicing his butchery ever since, and nobody has noticed! Okay, well for sure this nut came from Fire. He actually reminds me slightly of Mantrid and quite a bit of Dr. Rainbow, and perhaps this is a new joint incarnation for those two sickos in this sphere. He invites Stan to go ahead and make all the noise he wants and breaks into a jaunty tune himself.

Stanley's lobotomy/castration is interrupted in a timely fashion by Kai and Xev. The 'doctor', driven over the edge by seeing his prey about to escape, loses all judgment, picks up a scalpel and makes to attack Xev. This earns him his own close encounter with the blade, as Kai's brace whistles through him.

Two hospital security types try to stop them (by firing guns at Kai) and the brace whirs out again in a bit more of the gratuitous violence we've come to know and love in Season 4. The crew's exit is caught on the hospital security cameras.. Stanley brings up the rear, with his er.. rear hanging out.

As they depart the asylum, Stanley hurriedly explains to Xev that Lyekka (he means Lulu) has got the Lexx Key and they need to get back up there right smartly.

While walking up the street, a masher pulls alongside in a yellow volkswagen beetle, and expresses both shock and delight at their appearance. He calls out "The Dark Man! The Red Fool! The Dead One! I knew it!"

He introduces himself as Uther and rejoices that his journey is complete. They need to get up to the Lexx, and Uther tells them to jump into the car with him. Now, they don't know that on Earth, it's really not smart to hop into cars with raving lunatics, so they accept his invitation.

Stanley isn't impressed pointing out that they don't seem to be getting any closer to the moon. Xev, being obviously more familiar with land vehicles (from her various journeys in Rooster's pickup truck, the cruiser etc) notes dryly, "Stan, this is a car. It doesn't fly."

Uther promises that he can take them to a vessel that CAN transport them to the Moon. He demands a bargain with them though. He will get them to the Moon, if they promise to accompany him to something called "The Feast of Morgrath".

Uther drives them up to the Space Shuttle which is sitting on it's pad. It seems to be Public Day... there are sightseers in attendance. Xev takes note of one lady's smart chignon, and pulls her hair into a similar style.

Uther has a buddy, who keeps his cowl pulled over his face and utters a continuous droning chant. (He's listed as The Cloak in the credits, so I'll just call him that).

No problem getting up to the gantry. Kai instructs them to hold on to him, fires his brace, and away they go!

They make themselves comfy in the padded Shuttle seats. Kai keys up the radio and calls for 790 while Ground Control makes a polite, professional order for them to leave the Shuttle and return to the gantry. 790 responds. Kai explains their situation and tells 790 to instruct the Shuttle computers to launch the ship in a trajectory to connect with the Lexx.

They are accosted by security (I think they are ATF) tapping frantically on the Shuttle window, ordering them to get out right now! Xev gives them a melting smile and blows them a kiss, while 790 gets things underway and we have ignition, and lift off while the poor guards fall away.

Xev and the Cloak enjoy a bit of free fallness. Uther wants the Lexx crew to come up with their part of the bargain now, but Stanley points out they don't even know yet "if this tin can is going to make it to the Lexx." 790 assures Kai that the Lexx is still parked on the dark side of the Moon.

Stan also wants to know why Uther keeps referring to him as "The Red Fool". Uther explains his Druidic belief system. When Mars and Venus disappear from the sky (courtesy of Lulu's recent bowling game), The Dark Man (he nods at Kai), The Red Fool (he leers at Stanley remarking "bleedin' obvious") and the Dead One (he looks rather reverently, or perhaps it's just lust, at Xev and greets her "Ello luv") would then walk the Earth.

Stanley points out that Uther's prophecy seems like a crock since Stanley isn't the fool (uhhh okay), Xev isn't dead, and Kai IS! Uther corrects him and says the Dead One is a "beautiful woman, clutched in the icy hands of death", but he admits that their Druidic myths are a bit puzzling and they don't always have full knowledge, some bits having been lost or mixed up over time.

Xev inquires what the Feast of Morgrath is and Uther tells her it's a Druidic feast that occurs once every 1500 years in the true center of England, the great forest of Glastonbury. He further says that at the Feast, the "dead are raised to join the living.. (earning a curious sidewise glance from Kai in the pilot's seat) and we have a great big ole knosh up with our ancestors. It's a terrific time!"

They finally reach the Lexx, and the Shuttle is caught by some tentacles in Lexx's digestive bay.

Uther isn't overly impressed with the Lexx actually and he holds forth on the superior magic of what he calls "Old 'Olly" (translation Old Holly). Xev strokes his shaft up and down.. er, his holly staff that is, which he explains was carved long, long ago from a holly tree in Glastonbury Forest.

Xev is starting to show a little interest in Uther. He explains that he's only been a Druid for 168 moons, and before that was a rock drummer-singer, Nigel Bumpson. One of his top songs was 'Magic, Magic Baby'. He had a semi religious experience when his 'bird' (girlfriend) dropped some acid under his tongue, and realized he wasn't just Nigel Bumpson the drummer singer, but Uther the knight and warrior.

When they all reach the bridge, 790 is on his head.. er. upside down I mean. He's naturally glad to see his beloved corpse but inquires disdainfully who Uther and the Cloak are. Kai questions 790 closely about Lyekka and Huff and 790 answers with total lack of interest that if he thought about it at all, he supposed they were there since they blew up a couple of planets (Mars and Venus as Uther had said and which sign the Druids had been watching for).

When next asked where Lyekka and Huff are now, he refrains from saying that he saw the Key pass him in the corridor and says he doesn't know and doesn't care. But, clearly he must know that the Key passed out of Lyekka and left for another destination. He's only interested in one thing and finishes with a desperate plea to Kai, "Now come on, lick me!"

Kai puts him down.

Stan hopelessly tries to command the Lexx. But of course it's no use since he doesn't have the Key. He wonders out loud where Lyekka and Huff could be. Then it hits him and he asks with trepidation if Lyekka and Huff might have unfrozen Vlad!

They go to check on her.

Kai explains Vlad to Uther and the Cloak, who trade knowing glances.

When they reach the cryochamber, they see Vlad still in her case. Stanley is very relieved. That leaves them still not knowing where Lyekka and Huff are. Uther and the Cloak exchange another odd look in respect to the frozen Vlad. It appears that they have some sort of knowledge about her, perhaps one the bits of Druidic lore that have passed down over the centuries.

In the galley, they try to get the Lexx to spit out some food, but even Xev rubbing the food nozzle doesn't do a thing for Lexx.

Uther now chats up Xev and asks what a love slave does. Xev explains she is adept in the arts of pleasing a man and Uther thanks the Great Sprites that "I were born a bloke in this life." His own staff is apparently "getting a bit of the ole magic", and Xev more or less expresses her own fondness for a good woody.

Back in the deserted cryochamber, the panel activates... and Vlad, the super Bitch is wakened!

Stan, Kai and the Cloak return to the bridge while Xev and Uther go off for a little 'nap'.

They have a problem of course, No Key. Stanley wants to know if 790, with his little portion of human brain, couldn't interface with the Lexx to be able to activate the main drive, to get around the Key so to speak. (I would bet this little idea will become of huge importance down the line. In fact, except for the absence of hands, I don't see why 790 couldn't hold the Key to the Lexx, since we've previously seen in The Key, that it resides in the area of the brain related to sexual pleasure, and 790 certainly seems to have THAT part.)

In Xev's bedroom, Uther explains what a groupie is. He says he's getting groupie signals from Xev. Without wasting time he suggests she 'get her kit off'.

Stan Kai and 790 explore the Lexx's tail to try to crack into the main drive. 790 accidentally fires the Lexx's weapon. We see the bolt headed for earth. It just misses and demolishes a satellite. Another accidental shot takes out either a second satellite, or possibly it's the Space Station.

In the breeding chamber, Vlad busies herself infecting Moth Breeders with parablood.

Back in Xev's bedroom, Uther tells Xev all about how long and stiff his staff is. Old rock singers never die it appears - he's moved to express himself in song (like Xev, I have to say 'how did I know this was coming?')

He strips off his robe.. to reveal black leather! He sings her his swansong, 'It's Magic, Magic Baby!' . Here's the opening..
"Can you feeeel, really feeel, a feeling deep insiiide? What's it all about, when it slides in and out... it's maagic, magic babeee!
I don't know but I been told, and I been told a lot! That the feeling ya get, when it's slipp-e-ry and wet, it's maagic, magic babeee!"

He's interrupted by Vlad, who obviously finds him irresistible, and bites him! Xev scrambles off the bed and looks warily at Vlad, and demands to know how she got out. They circle around each other.

Vlad is intent on one thing ..
"Where isss Kai?", and repeats the question. She doesn't believe Xev when told he's gone back to earth. Vlad isn't going to waste time on Xev again.
"As your blood is different, and I cannot enslave you. I will kill you!" And she does.
Bloody NekulturnyKunt� (female version of SlimyGit�)! Poor Xev, she was expecting a good impaling by Uther, not by this deranged dragon bitch!

Kai and Stan stop to look at a fleet of Moths. Kai notes that they've all been killed; holed by a long sharp weapon and the obvious is voiced by Stanley, "Like Vlad's impaler". Stan is feeling really apprehensive now about Xev, and they hurry to her room to find her.

She's lying there on her bed. Dead. Kai closes her eyes with his hand. She's still warm.

Poor Stanley. He's so shocked and can hardly believe it. (I can hardly believe it myself) Kai urges Stanley to take the one Shuttle and get back to earth, and destroy any other Moths and the second shuttle so Vlad cannot get away from the Lexx. Kai will stay behind to confront her even though she can destroy him.

Stanley refuses. He insists that they must freeze Xev and use the protein regenerator to try to restore her. Kai tries to dissuade Stanley. He tries to impress on him that Xev is dead, and that Stan is making the wrong choice in this. But Stanley is not going to budge an inch. They place her in a cryopod.

Vlad accosts 790, again with her rather tedious question, "Where iss Kai?" He frantically confabulates a multitude of stories about Kai being anywhere but on the Lexx in attempt to deflect Vlad's pursuit of his beloved Man in Black. Vlad drops 790 off the bridge.

Stan, Kai and the Cloak return to the bridge now. Kai immediately sees Vlad swooping down on them. Kai urges Stanley to run, and puts himself between Vlad and the two men. The Cloak does something strange though - he advances on Vlad with his staff held like a spear. She holes him with her impaling blade. He falls to the deck but is not completely dead, and he calls to Stanley who's getting into the Moth, "Stanley, the staff has the power." and he lets go his grip on the staff and falls over the side of the bridge.

Stan can't start the Moth. It's dead as well. Uther pops up now. Stanley speaks to him about them having to get away, when suddenly he notices the bite marks on Uther's neck and realizes Vlad has control of him. Stan tries a subterfuge to get away. Uther grabs him and starts to throttle the life out of him.

Stan gasps out to Kai for help. Vlad is curious about Kai's apparent desire to try to help Stanley. He denies that he cares and retorts that she seems to care about Kai. She agrees and says she cares about his destruction. He manages to get clear of Vlad long enough to fire his brace through Uther, but at the same time she impales Kai from behind with her own blade.. and reels him in.

Vlad proceeds to 'tenderize' Kai by flinging him about the bridge at the end of her blade line, bashing him repeatedly into the walls.

While Vlad is busy, Stanley hears a voice calling. It's 790 at the bottom of the pit. 790 is frantic about Kai of course and insists Stanley has to get Vlad away from Kai. They're both out of ideas.

Stan does agree to take 790 with him, in case they can figure out some way to help Kai. They disable one shuttle, then proceed to the other one and take off. Two infected Moth Breeders attack Stanley and the Shuttle starts to veer wildly.

On the bridge, Vlad has Kai in her disgusting embrace and is preparing to chow down for one last time. The enslaved Moth Breeders bring Stanley to the bridge too.

While their mistress is enjoying herself, the Moth Breeders, picking up on her orgasm, lose control of themselves and Stanley is able to break away from their grasp. He picks up the holly staff and jams it against Vlad. She gives him a look that could almost kill, but Stanley plays the man and rams the staff into her side with even greater force.

Stan could have gotten away while Vlad was concentrating on draining Kai, but his hero side comes into full play and the look on his face shows his attitude to Vlad for having killed his friend.

Vlad has NOTHING in the 'if-looks-could-kill' department compared to an avenging Stanley! She disappears in a burst of golden light and flash of smoke, along with the holly staff. (It would seem that Vlad or some creature recognizable as her, was known to Uther and the Cloak, from the repeated looks they gave each other. I have to say here too, although I think Avenging Stanley is great, dispatching Vlad like this just seems too trite to me. Maybe this isn't the last of the miserable twat? Magic took her away - maybe it'll bring her back again).

Stanley sits watching while Kai fills himself up and a transiently grateful 790 says to Stan, "You are a real pal Stanley", but qualifies it saying the relationship will not last. (Of interest, the two Moth Breeders walk right in front of them - you can see a golden glow in the hand of the first one as he passes the Captain's stand - this would seem to be the one that's carrying the Key. Stan doesn't notice however).

Now that Kai is restored, Stanley insists that they have to try to do whatever they can for Xev. Kai points out that Xev is dead.
Stan: "Will you please try to be a bit more positive about things?"
Kai: "The dead are rarely positive about things." (He says rarely, that must mean on occasion they are positive about things - like grinding wheels and billowing clouds and such like).

In the cryochamber, the protein regenerator has restored Xev's flesh. She's still dead though with her essence or spirit gone. 790, unfeeling little git that he is, says they should chuck the bitch out into space, and even Kai is wholly negative about the situation. Stanley simply refuses to give up and let her go. "She's my friend. And I want her back."

I'm reminded of Xev's previous determined efforts to regain Stanley from the pit of Fire by keeping his dead, but healed body, in cryofreeze. It's interesting too that as in Terminal, when the original Zev perished, Kai and Xev begin the episode by dealing with a less-than-respectable medico engaged in work on Stanley.

Amidst 790's callous remarks, Stanley fights back his tears as the episode closes.