Nook |
The Lexx has found a planet that actully looks quite nice for a change. The only
land is a small green island surrounded by a warm blue sea. Xev wants to stop
for a visit, but Stan is not to keen. "Don't you see a pattern emerging here?"
he asks, blaming Xev for all the trouble they get into every time she wants to
stop and visit a planet. But Xev knows the way to Stanley's heart, and says she'll
have sex with him if he'll let her go, providing she doesn't find sex on the
planet. Stanley, being a man of such willpower and determination of course, agrees. Leaving 790 on the ship, but taking Kai 'coz it's always safer that way, the moth pulls away from the Lexx hovering over the sea. The inhabitants of the island are tending their crops when the lexx flies overhead. They seem to be some kind of monks, dressed in sackcloth, and the arrival of the Lexx obviously causes some confusion. The monks run inside their big wooden hall, calling for the senior brother. The moth lands, and the crew climb out. The Senior brother appears, with the monks gathered around him. "Welcome, brothers!" he cries, and explains to the other monks that they should make these three men very welcome on Nook. They are invited into the hall for dinner. "We give thanks to Father Nook!" The senior brother says grace and blesses the food, and they all sit down. "If I may modify your earlier statement", suggests Kai, who is seated directly next to the senior brother, "we are two men, and one woman" he points to Xev, who is busy making eyes at some of the other brothers across the table. The brother looks confused. "What kind of man is that?" he asks. "A very different type" replies Kai, realising that they have seen no women on this planet yet. The brother accepts this, and bids Kai eat. "I do not eat, I am dead" replies Kai. The Senior Brother enquires about Kai's condition, while Xev and Stanley are eating, looking around the room. Xev gets a lot of attention, but Stan also gets his fair share...especially from one particular monk who seems to have taken a shine to him. Kai explains his previous life to the senior brother, and demonstrates his wrist brace by throwing a bread roll in the air and cutting it clean in two. The brother seems very impressed by this, and invites Kai to see the library of information that has been meticulously kept since the "landings". After dinner, Xev and Stan go for a therapeutic massage in the steam room. Several brothers are having massages, and the one doing Stanley is the brother who noticed him at dinner. He tells Stanley of the "night of no rules", the solstice where anything goes, and "brotherly love" abounds. Stanley tries to explain that he prefers women, but this planet has no concept of women. Xev, however is busy making a meal of her massage, making noises that wouldn't go amiss in a dark alley at the back of Kings Cross Station. The monks are obviously having some trouble controlling themselves, so it is a godsend when the bell rings for prayer. The senior brother shows Kai around the library. The brothers copy information for future generations, but only the senior brother is allowed to know the contents of the books. The brothers who read don't copy, and the brothers who copy can't read. Kai is allowed to read what he wants, as he has much "bad" knowledge already and a little more won't hurt him. He asks the brother whether this could be the planet of the Milk-Fed Boys he heard about on Brunnis, where there could be a way for him to be brought back to life, but the brother has not heard of it. He offers to have a look at Kai's protoblood, however, to see if he can synthesise some more. Kai agrees and gives him a small amount to analyse. Xev has tried it on with about every man on the planet so far, and although willing, they are all a little scared of breaking their vows and want to wait for the Night of No Rules. She even tries it on with the senior brother who seems a little taken aback. It's only one more night to wait, so she figures she can wait that long. Unfortunately for Stanley, this means they have to stay the night. Settled into his bare little room, Xev blows him a kiss goodnight before going off to try and find some more fun. She also stops by Kai's room, who is looking out of the window at the sunset. "Sweet Dreams, Kai", she wishes him. "I do not dream" he replies. "Well, then sleep well". "I do not sleep". "OK, goodnight then", she says as she leaves. "Goodnight" Kai replies to himself. Then, as he turns away from the window, he falters, and falls forward onto the bed. He doesn't move. Stan is almost asleep when the brother burst into his room. "Is my body not beautiful?" he asks. Stan is a little flustered, "well, yeah, if you like that sort of thing, which I don't" he splutters. The brother tries to persuade Stan that he shouldn't knock it till he's tried it, but Stan will not be moved. Well, not much anyway. The brother is rejected, saying that he if Stanley does not want him, there is nothing left to live for. If, however Stanley does want him, he'll be waiting at the front gate. He leaves. Stan is confused. It might not be that bad, after all, and he hasn't actually had sex for a good long while, and no-one will ever know, and maybe he should just experiment a bit... The brother is waiting at the front gate when he hears a noise. Stan is trying to navigate the courtyard without knocking over everything on the way. "Stan?" the brother cries, and moves towards the noise. Stan hears a scream and when he finally reaches the front gate, he finds the brother dead. He runs back to his room, scared. When the body of the brother is found the next morning, and others mention that they saw Stanley running around late last night, Stan and Xev are brought before the senior brother to be charged with murder. "Where is Kai?" asks Xev. "Still asleep" answers one of the monks. "Kai is asleep?" she whispers to Stan. "Well", he replies, "The dead are unpredictable". The senior brother wants Stan executed for murdering the brother, but the council overrule him and suggest that he takes some time off - all that knowledge must be getting to him. The council retire to discuss what should be done. Stan and Xev are let off, for now, and go to find Kai. He is, as reported, face down on the bed. "Wake up Kai", whispers Xev. He opens his eyes. "To wake up, I would have had to have been asleep" he replies. "You weren't asleep?" asks Stan. "Why where you lying on the bed with your eyes closed?". "I do not know" replies Kai. Although the senior brother wanted to cancel the night of no rules because of the murder, the council overruled him. That night, therefore, the monks are drinking, partying, and generally have a love-ly time whilst dressed up in various animal costumes for anonymity. The boy Xev promised first turn to says he'll come as a rat, so she dresses as a cat and brings the whole proceedings to a standstill. Four 'rats' start fighting over her, so she takes them all off to bed. Kai has been checking out the murder scene. He finds blood stained straw on the floor by the gate, and checks his brace. It too is covered in blood The senior brother has been in the library. There is a secret room containing nothing but a large container of green liquid. He takes a phial of the liquid, and goes back to the party outside. Dressed as a bee, he pulls a trolley loaded with honey beer. Into this he drops some of the green liquid, then takes the beer to the party. "Drink!" he commands, and the monks cheer and fill their glasses with the sweet beer. Stanley, although originally not wanting to go to the party, is too tempted when he finds a passed-out monk, complete with rat costume. He follows Xev and her little entourage to the room she is in. Unfortunately for him, she recognises his voice and kicks him out. Poor Stanley. "How did you neutralise me last night?" Kai has found the senior brother back in the secret chamber. He has poured away the whole jar of green liquid. This was the knowledge collected by the ancestors of the men on Nook, and the senior brother has been secretly using it, against the rules. The ancestors who first landed on Nook and created the land had decided to leave women behind. Without women, there would be no problems, they said. So when Xev landed, the senior brother knew that life on Nook could never be the same again. For this reason, he decided to murder the brother that fancied Stan, in order to get rid of the unwanted visitors. He took the sample of protoblood from Kai and made an enzyme to neutralise it for a few hours. This is what knocked Kai out. Then he took Kai's brace and killed the brother. Now that his plan has failed, and the men have discovered what a woman is, he has decided that their way of life has been irreversably damaged, and is going to blow up the planet. Kai runs to the room where Xev is enjoying herself. "Kai!" she exclaims, "I've done it! I've experience physical man-love for the first time! And I liked it...a lot!". Kai collects her and Stan and explains what the senior brother has done. They head for the moth. The senior brother staggers out of the library, beer in hand. Other brothers are laying around, drunk, or asleep, as the sun slowly climbs over the horizon. The senior brother raises his cup to toast the coming day, and as the sun hits the ground, each brother disappears in a flash. As it falls upon the high windows of the library, the sun reaches through the secret passageway, into the room which used to contain the tank of knowledge. Without the liquid, the sun causes a chain reaction which slowly blows the planet apart. The Lexx powers away from the planet, escaping the blast, as Stan reminds Xev that next time, perhaps she should listen to him...? |
