LEXX

After a quick scene of flying carrots, the episode opens outside the ATF headquarters, with it's pointed signage of trespassers risking headshots, while inside, Stan and Digby are still hanging around. Digby, polite, well-brought-up little gaffer that he is, chats Stanley up. It's not like they have anything else to do really, although manly Stanley is wailing at the top of his lungs for Prince to come and make a deal with him.Stanley obviously remembers the Norb fiasco, and makes it clear to Digby that he does NOT like children. Digby starts to snivel (totally unconvincingly I might add and we just KNOW this little monster has something up the leg of his pjs there).

We then join Xev who's being ushered into the presence of the Wardress at the Prison for Women, to undergo the requisite triplicate torture of American institutional bureaucracy. The blonde wardress, played by British actress Hattie Hayridge produces a Texas drawl that's as good as anything I could do, but I imagine it may have Texans cringing in their boots. In the process of getting appropriate insertions for her little boxes, she concludes that if Xev was brought up in a box, she must be from Houston! (I'm not even American and I thought that was funny!) She smirks and gives Xev a fresh pair of panties.....warning that she won't be wearing them long (oooh...shades of 'Sluts in CellBlock 24'!)

We briefly see a fresh-faced young man dressed in a priest's cassock jauntily approaching the door of a garishly painted house, promising a 'laafe o' joiy' to the householder (a sullen, vicious sounding young woman) who promptly hauls him inside for ....tea? coffee?....ahhh....Got milk?

Meanwhile, Stan and the PJ Kid continue their getting-to-know-you exchange.
Stan, true to form, paints himself in glowing, romantic (outrageously exaggerated - he's been watching too much The Stanley Tweedle Show!) Ostral-B heretic/rebel terms, for the inquisitive Digby. Forgetting how dangerous little kids are, he stupidly reveals the nature of the Lexx, the key and everything, while Prince listens via hidden pickup and smirks, confirming verbally what we ALL KNEW ALREADY!! that Prince is an evil, manipulative, no-good lying SlimyGit™ - a varmint, in the local vernacular!

Back at Electropolis Studios....er....or some old warehouse type place that looks exactly like it.. Kai tells the Doomsday geeks to broadcast on all frequencies, and 790 will respond to the sound of his voice. Sure enough, 790 gushes immediately "Oh Breath of Death!" upon hearing Kai's beloved voice. Kai, looking faintly embarassed I think, seems to feel the need to explain that 790 has a fixation on dead men. The geek girl Tina finds their exchange titillating to say the least, and slides a sideways glance at Kai's.. umm ...middle, when 790 proclaims him "the Stiffest!" (Sighhhhh.... forget it Tina... we've looked!)

790, who cares not in the slightest of course, reveals that Stanley can't come to the phone, because he's been taken down to the Earth in a moth by Prince. Dr. Longbore tells Kai what WE ALL KNOW ALREADY! that Prince is a truly evil man, the head of the evil Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, and he can be found in Washington, D.C.

When Kai immediately makes to leave the geeks and go to retrieve Xev and Stanley, Dr. Longbore gets him where he lives (um, in a manner of speaking) and contemptuously remarks "The dead clearly do not keep their promises!" Well! Them's fighting words to our Brunnen-G, and he stays, instructing 790 to scan the airwaves and locate Stanley and Xev, while at the same time, instructing the geeks on how they can leave the planet. 790 pouts and grumbles but does as his "Beloved Blackness" asks (not without a little manipulation from the Kai-ster "790, do you love me?", which does not go unnoticed by Tina. I'm sure she must be wondering what kind of sick, co-dependent relationship is going on with these two! Tina has never met the Beans)

Obligatory Season shower scene now, where Xev is told to do a good job scrubbing down, then 20 seconds later the Wardress tells her that's enough and hands her the fresh panties. We see bare legs, glimpse of bottom, a great small-of-the-back tattoo, couple breasts, and then a front shot of Xev holding herself (I bet Sci-Fi cut something outta here - no matter, Space will be showing it soon and the naked TRUTH shall be known!)

Back at the ATF dungeon, Prince finally arrives (riding in a cherry-picker!) to deal with Stan. He wants the key to the Lexx, and proceeds to try to drop Stanley from his bonds on the wall. Stan protests and tells him the Key can't go to Prince because he's not alive (he's forgotten the Key jumping to XevPrince in The Key I guess or else there just wasn't anywhere else alive to go to that time). Prince doesn't sound altogether sure if he's alive or not, but being a practical evil SlimyGit, he's all for experimenting to find out!

790, probably expecting some delightsome reward from Black Beauty later, prevents Stanley from falling, but the Key clearly senses danger and leaves Stan's hand... passes right past the surprised Prince... and dives into Digby!

Probably just doesn't care for gits wearing three piece suits.

Back at the prison, Warden Craig Charles is dictating a letter (in his Liverpudlian accent which he makes no attempt to disguise with a fake Texan drawl, thank God!) to his little charges. He and his wife, Wardress Heidi, are good American stock though, practicing entrepreneurship amidst their blue-collar, boring jobs. The women prisoners write the letters, clearly designed to appeal to middle-aged perverts and provide a steady stream of soiled panties to go with them. Hey! It saves on the prison laundry bill no doubt!
Well, lookee here! Who should walk in but slutty, pouting little Lomia, she of small-furry-animal fame on Twilight. She looks as slutty and pouty as ever. It seems she's just as alienated from Mr. and Mrs. Warden as from the dandruffy Governor and his screeching Lady. What a tedious and pernicious child! She's boring too, still has an eye for Xev it appears. Xev either can't write, or just doesn't want to play and announces she's leaving - at which Wardress Heidi blows the whistle, and Xev is carted off to a solitary cell, with slutty, pouty Lomia following closely behind. I was wondering how much provocation it takes for Xev to go Lizard.

Prince, not at all bothered by the results of his experiment so far, is trying to drop Stanley to his death, before dropping Digby (the "pathetic little science student" as he calls him) to his death, ensuring that the Key will leave Digby and go to Prince, rather than return to Stan. 790 is gumming up Prince's buttons though. Then Digby pipes up, saying he wants to cut Stan's fingers off. Prince is charmed! (stupid git!) and decides to offer Digby a hand. Then Digby (ack! it wasn't up his pj leg after all, but in his secret decoder watch!) flips out his switchblade and knifes ole Princey in the back, giving him a kick off the cherrypicker and watching with satisfaction as he falls to the concrete below.

Digby leaves Stanley hanging and goes over Prince's body, puzzling for a second over his little water bottle, then fishing out his keycard for the door and buggering off. Stanley manages to activate the cherrypicker with his boot (totally ridiculous as anybody who's seen Stanley screw up the Ripley maneuver in 791 would know) and goes for a little gloat over Prince's body.

Prince of course wakes up! He's immortal, but apparently not without sensory endings as he groans that he's much more familiar with the real meaning of pain now. He tells Stan he's a fool and that Digby intends to steal the Lexx from both of them.

790 has finally found a trace of Xev. She's being broadcast from an Internet live-sex site called P4X. Poor Xevvy tells her love-slave story of being a sex bomb waiting to happen, but not being able to find one suitable, available, willing man! It's a common story, that. 790 manages to locate the signal from some place in Texas, not too far from Kai's present location and off he goes to get her.

Back at ATF, Digby uses his considerable snivelling skills and a borrowed automatic pistol to waste a bunch of bumbling guards, finally locating the Moth. Prince, big SlimyGit™ liar that he is, has conned Stanley into helping him out, until Stan learns the Moth is right in the room where they are. He's digusted "Oh, you really are soooo evil!" and drops Prince on the floor. hehe...good one Stan!

At P4X, Xev is being strapped down on a bed, while Lomia licks the camera (lord, this girl is soooooo one-note!). Her underling informs her that the site has passed a million hits. Lomia is delighted, in her sullen, slutty, pouting little way and orders her minions to 'give it to her'. Out comes the missionary that was shanghaied earlier, dressed in leather and studs, with a cute little heart over his jewels. More snivelling as his platform is lowered over Xev, who's game of course and doesn't mind at all. She's disappointed, but hardly surprised really, when he tells her he wants to save himself for 'SnoogaWuggums' (or somebody like that). Meanwhile, Lomia's folks are in bed, not doing anything interesting, although her Pop is tuned into the P4X site, when he spots Xev, and twigs to what his beloved, darling daughter has been doing in the evenings.

Kai sees a newspaper with a front page photo of Xev, so he breaks into the box to get one. He asks a passing kid to read a bit to him. This is the Divine Assassin technique of speed-learning; after hearing a few words he can now read it. The kid (obviously one of MissJean's pupils) sidles away, remarking, "You're weird"... to which Kai replies...."The dead *are* weird." Kai proceeds to check out the articles inside the paper. (hehee...he looks so weird reading a newspaper!)

Lomia's parents and Kai, and a fax with Xev's release order, arrive at the prison at the same time. Warden Charles tries to stop Kai (I would bet that *no-one* has ever called Kai, 'matey-boy' before) until Kai has a bracing little talk with him. They release Xev, and the Missionary, who points out Lomia's collection of captives. Her parents are horrified, realizing they'll be kicked out of their cushy jobs there. You'd think they'd be proud of little slutty Lomia being a chip off the old blocks, trying to earn a bit of money.

At ATF, Digby who understandably doesn't consider Stanley as any kind of threat, makes Stan dance to some bullets (this had to be deliberate, he was certainly close enough to pull the plug on Stanley), then runs for the Moth and takes off. He sounds just like Mantrid actually, raving about "I'm the Captain of the Lexx". Stanley pushes the blue button as instructed by Prince, and the bay doors close, forcing the Moth back, and as Digby falls to his death the key leaves him, skates past Prince once more, and lands in Stan's hand. (see...it really does not like three piece suits!). Little good it does him as Stan is surrounded again by ATF agents, definitely close enough not to miss him.

Mr. and Mrs. Warden and their beloved, darling daughter drive down the road with the mutual hostility in the car thick enough to eat with a fork. Heidi sees something by the side of the road and hops out to have a quick look. Mr. Warden impatiently goes to join her when she screams. Now we get a close up of the carrot thingies.... they aren't that big really, which is a good thing in this case. Both Warden and Wardress get a close encounter with carrot suppositories, while a delighted, slutty, pouty Lomia drives off.

Kai tells Xev that Stanley is in a place called Washington, D.C. and they head off to find him. Stanley, hung up once more, provides some interim amusement for 790, activating and deactivating the controls on his bonds.

Well, all I can say is never trust a boy in pyjamas, and watch out for flying carrots, but other than that, I guess Prince is pretty much like his old self, except he gets to suffer the slings and arrows on this planet, and, once a slutty, sullen little brat, always a slutty, sullen little brat, no matter what universe she's in.