LEXX

Stan faces another boring day floating in space until he picks up the signal from the Celes Pleasure Cruiser. This was where Stan had been that fateful day when he should have been delivering the Amino Acid codes for the Lexx, and he knows that they are more than accomodating to heretics...

Never one to be able to stifle his physical needs, Stan insists on visiting the cruiser with Xev and Kai tagging along for good luck. It is large, elegant and has a never-ending supply of beautiful girls ready to do his bidding. The complete opposite of the Luvliner, in fact. Making himself known as Stanley Tweedle, Assistant Deputy Back-Up Courier for the Ostral-B Heretics, Stan is surprised that for once in his life being a heretic has finally paid off. The woman on the TV screen insists on safe sex, however, and Stanley is immediately covered in a full-body condom...

...which makes him all the easier to capture and charge with the destruction of the 100 reform worlds that His Divine Shadow blew up with the Lexx, who was grown from the Amino Acid codes that Stanley let fall into His Divine Shadow's hands.

A trial is set up on the cruiser. The Chief Prosecutor (a rather over-zealous woman who finds inflicting pain a real turn-on) is determined that Stanley should die for his crime in the most painful way possible: nerve-bore worms. Stanley is not as enamoured with this idea, however. Especially as the thing that's really worrying Stanley at this moment in time is the fact that he is guilty of the charge, even though he feels that there were mitigating circumstances. The fact that the codes were tortured out of him by mercenaries, for a start. There is really only going to be one way out of this situation. Kai offers to act as Stan's Defence Counsel, to argue for a quick and painless death, rather than the nerve-bore worms which take days and kill you in excrutiating pain. He even offers to kill Stanley himself.

Stan is found guilty as charged, and even though the Judge is lenient, and grants Stanley a quick death, the Chief Prosecutor cannot allow herself to pass by this opportunity to use the nerve bore worms. Not after she bought them especially. Stan finds himself tied to a rack with the woman about to apply the worms when Kai and Xev burst in. They have been tipped off about the Prosecutor's plan by one of her assistants who has realised what she's up to. Kai frees Stan and grabs the Prosecutor. Then he asks Stan if he wishes Kai to be the executor of justice. Although Stan really wants Kai to kill the prosecutor after what she's put him through, he relents and says no (because he's such a nice guy). The trio make their escape back to the Lexx leaving the Prosecutor to face justice for disobeying the Judge.

Back on the Lexx, Stan asks Kai if he would have killed the prosecutor if Stan had asked him too.

"I asked you if you wanted me to be the executor of justice.", says Kai, "If you had said yes, I would have killed her. And then I would have killed you too. But it would have been a quick and painless death."