LEXX

'The weather report from the DJ in radio satellite 101 becomes suddenly unimportant as the planet he is orbiting gets eaten by Mantrid drones. It doesn't dampen his sprits much though, and I bet he does a lot of good work for Charidy, mate.

The Lexx's viewscreen shows a hula-hoop of Mantrid drones in close proximity to a large star. The hula-hoop, 790 explains, is of sufficient mass to create a gravitational pull strong enough to draw burning hot material away from the star, cooling it in space, and into the centre of the ring where it get's converted into more Mantrid Drones. Approximately 60% of the universe is now comprised of Mantrid drones, which leaves about 90 hours until the rest of it follows. Including them.

Understandably, this doesn't go down too well with the crew. "How did your ancestors beat the insects?" Xev asks Kai. "Although the Brunnen-G had fewer resources" he answers "they had greater resourcefullness". Insects think methodically whereas humans think creatively, which is their big advantage. They are all getting down to some serious creative thinking, when Stan points out the drone arm that Kai captured. Stan has a plan to take it apart to see how it works, and to see if they can learn anything about defeating Mantrid. Xev is not so sure - it could replicate - but Stan assures her it's been switched off for ages. He should have listened, however, as the drone reanimates and clenches it's fist which it then uses to punch Stan. Kai retaliates and chops the thing in half with his brace. Give him his due, Stan doesn't let this put him off, and continues (with 790's help because Xev insisted) to take the bits of drone down to the cryoroom to see what he can do.

A while later, on the bridge, Xev and Kai stare blankly at the universe disappearing out of the window. Xev decides to go and see how Stan is getting on with the arm, and leaves Kai to keep watch. On the way down to the cryoroom, she notices a butterfly sitting on one of the strange protuberances that Lexx seems to have in his corridors. She picks it up, and as it flies away, another flying object passes behind her just out of view. She turns...

In the cryoroom, 790 is abusing Stan as usual from his resting place in the bottom of Kai's open chamber. Stan's concern about the arm coming alive is misplaced - it's the other ones that appear from the passageway that he is suddenly really worried about. After trying to fight them off with the remains of the other arm, he takes refuge inside the cryopod with 790 as the drone arms start to cut through the lid.

Xev turns a corner and comes face to face with a small group of drones. She grabs a handy bone from off the floor and turns to fight...

Stan is going to be dismantled very soon unless he thinks of something. "Could you control this arm if I attach it to you?" he asks 790. "Elementary" 790 boasts. Much fumbling later, 790 is converted into a 790 drone, and is very pleased with his new hand, which he uses to grab Stan's balls and slowly start to twist... Stan points out, in a very high pitched voice, that as much as 790 is enjoying this, shouldn't he go save Xev? 790 agrees and lets go, flying out of the cryotube and down the passage towards his beloved.

On the bridge, Kai is still staring at the screen. The view is suddenly broken by interference, followed by the technicolour face of Mantrid flashing across the screen. As Mantrid disappears, drones pour on to the bridge. Kai begins firing, chopping them in half as fast as he can. They seem to be centered up on the 'ceiling', and as he cuts them away, Lyekka appears. "Lyekka!" Kai exclaims, "are you alright?" "Yes" she replies, but then she looks upwards, "but my pod is not". Her pod has indeed be cut to shreds in the attack by the drones. They both understand what this means, but both realise that worrying about it won't solve anything. Kai takes her hand and suggests they go find the others, as they are bound to be in trouble. As they head for the door, more drones appear. They make quite a sweet couple as they both reach out an arm and fire at the drones. (How come we didn't know Lyekka had a weapon before?)

Xev is in the middle of being strangled when 790 turns up with his new arm and proceeds to thrash the mantrid drones into little bits. Kai and Lyekka turn up just in time to see this, and everyone is very impressed. On their way to rescue Stan from the cryopod, who is surprised and pleased at the reappearance of Lyekka, 790 explains that although he has the same arm as a Mantrid drone, he has a much faster processor and therefore will beat a mantrid drone every time. This gives Xev an idea. 790 will build more 790 drones to beat the Mantrid drones. Kai explains that theoretically, it would be possible for him to continuously defeat and convert Mantrid drones until the universe consisted of nothing but 790 drones. Stan doesn't think this would be a good idea, but it's their only chance so they start collecting junk for 790 to convert.

A large cloud of Mantrid drones are heading for the Lexx. 790 has built a fair number of his drones, each one imbued with the battle cry "I fight for Xev!". They are just like 790 except they have red faces and red eyes and scary teeth. uit's a good job they are on our side... As Mantrid's drones move in, 790's drones swarm out of the Lexx and begin to engage the Mantrid drones in battle. Each 790 can defeat 6 Mantrids, and they begin whacking them and carrying them back to the Lexx to be converted into 790 drones. After a good few MD's have been thrashed, the rest begin to retreat. Kai explains that Mantrid is unwilling to provide more raw materials for 790 drones. Stan is all for thrashing the rest of the retreating drones, but Kai insists that they find Mantrid. Unfortunately they don't know where Mantrid is, and he hasn't left a lot of clues... Luckily, however Lyekka thinks she can be of some help. She can sense dreams after all, and now that there are so few dreams left in the universe, there is one that stands out. Someone is having a Bad Dream...

Lexx is "dis-ori-entated" and does not know where he is. Kai explains that a huge mass of Mantrid drones are moving towards them, causing gravitational shifts... this is why the Lexx is confused. And as if by magic, the drones appear. They are interlinked in an impenetrable looking fence pattern. This does not bode well for the crew, as they far outnumber 790's drones. Stan tried to blast the fence with the Lexx, but the drones simply move out of the way, then reform the pattern once the energy bolt has passed. Lyekka suddenly turns to Stan and says "do not worry about me!". "But I do worry about you!" replies Stan, all emotional like. Lyekka explains that she can help, and says "goodbye Stan". Then she stretches as if to go into her pod, but her body starts to morph, until it becomes a pale blue imitation Mantrid drones. Then she and 790's drones charge into the fray.

Unfortunately, they are outweighed by sheer numbers. For each group of 790 drones, a huge ball of MD's comes out of the 'fence' and engulfs them, then contracts until they explode. Lyekka, however, being the same shape as a Mantrid drone, sneaks into the fence pattern, and manages to pass right through, tricking the Mantrid drones into thinking she is one of them. As the 790 drones are still fighting bravely, Lyekka sneaks further into the centre of the mass of drones, until she finds Mantrid's lair. Dissolving into a liquid form, she penetrates the hull of Mantrids pod and reconstitutes inside. Mantrid' voice rings out. "How did you get in here?" "Through the window, like a smoochy cat" she replies, and picks up a stick with which to start smashing things. Mantrid cries out "You're not human!" "No", she replies, "I'm a plant". "Then you are not my enemy" says Mantrid "Go away". "You are my enemy!" Lyekka retorts "I used to live in a pod which was killed by your drones!" "Nice Plant Lady, please stop!" pleads Mantrid, as Lyekka starts taking her anger out on his equipment. "Why? You don't!" she cries "I like Stanley!" Then she sees a compartment which steam is pouring from. Opening the lid, she finds a little box containing the chip that is Mantrid's consciousness. "Put me down!" he screams, and she is about to do just that with full force, when Mantrid summons some drones who start attacking her with electricity bolts. She drops the box, but the drones have already taken their toll. Lyekka falls to the ground, and slowly turns to a pile of dry leaves, which the breeze gently disperses...

Mantrid's box has sustained enough damage to cause him to lose control of the drones. A group of 790 drones, about to be crushed by Mantrid Drones, make the most of the opportunity when the MD's suddenly stop functioning. "Lyekka" yells Stan, "she's done it!" With Mantrid's drones spinning harmlessly in space, the Lexx can do maximum damage. Stan commands him to fire on the drones, which cuts a massive swathe out of the fence. Leaving 790's drones to continue clearing the MD's, the Lexx creeps into the cut made by it's weapons. In front of them are thousands upon thousands of copies of Mantrid's pod. "Decoys" observes Kai, "We must destroy them all". "Wait!" says Stan, "Lyekka's in there somewhere!" Kai turns to Stan. "When her pod was destroyed, she could no longer survive" he explains "she went on this mission because she was already dead". Poor Stan is very upset by this, but understands. He commands the Lexx to blow up the pods..."all of them".

The Lexx is taking out pod after pod, but there are still thousands more. 790 is taking out the drones, but there are billions of them. And inside one of the pods, Mantrid's face appears on the little viewscreen of his box. "I'm alive! I'm alive!"

The deactivated drones swing back to 'life'. "What do we do now, Kai?" asks Xev. "Yeah, Kai, now what?" retorts Stan, somewhat unfairly I think, especially seeing as Kai has come up with all the ideas so far and the other two are acting like kids. but anyway, maybe all this is getting to the Dark and Lovely one, as his reply is:

"Run"

Although Xev and Stan protest, saying that 790 can beat the drones and they can't run away now, Kai insists they will only be pretending to run away...he has a plan.

Mantrid, being the paranoid egomaniac he is (although I'm not sure there is yet a diagnosis for the mental condition of wanting to destroy a complete universe - I must ask Dr Del...) immediately sends his drones to follow the retreating Lexx and it's little defensive army of 790's. So many drones, in fact, that they form huge geometric shapes, reflecting light like sheet metal. Hundreds of enormous octahedrons follow the Lexx, composed entirely of Mantrid drones.

"Running away will not save you now!" Mantrid's face appears on the Lexx's viewscreen. "Mantrid" says Kai, "you currently have a large proportion of this universe chasing the small threat that is us. Don't you think that is overkill?" "Overkill," replies Mantrid, "is my style..." His face disappears from the screen, and the shapes move closer, catching up with the Lexx and threatening to crush it as if it really where the size of a dragonfly. "Now?" asks Stan, "Now?" Kai asks 790. "Now!" 790 replies. "Lexx! Stop!" yells Stan. The Lexx puts on the brakes, turns to face the encroaching shapes. "Do you think we managed to distract him for long enough?" Stan asks 790. "By my calculations," 790 replies, "yes!"

"And now," drones Mantrid, "it's time for you to die".

"Mantrid, I do not experience pleasure" Kai remarks, climbing onto the Lexx's command pedestal, "but my...friends...here are experiencing pleasure knowing that their deaths will be simultaneous with yours." Kai explains that Mantrid has moved too much matter too quickly. "The Universe was born in a big bang, now it is about to die in a big....collapse!" Mantrid looks grumpy. "I concede the game to you" he states. "You should have made better use of your human side!" retorts Kai, getting all animated and pointing. Mantrid disappears from the screen. Outside the Lexx, a gravitational whirlpool is appearing in space, pulling everything into itself with terminal intent, including the radio satellite..."You're listening to the great one-oh-oooooooooone!". "Well, this is it!" says Xev, "I'm ready." "I'm ready" says 790, "I guess I'm ready too then" says Stan. Outside, the huge formations of Mantrid arms are already falling into the vortex, stretching and skewing as the gravitational forces crush them. The Lexx begins to shake, Xev falls and Kai grabs her, 790 screams "Xeeeeeeeev!", the three humans cling to each other and reality starts to spin as the Lexx slips into the vortex...

The vortex is swallowing everything, all matter is slowly and inexorably being pulled into the great implosion, until, with a final flash, there is nothing left.

On the other side of the vortex, there are stars in the sky, as the lexx is forcibly ejected along with many large lumps of rock. The bridge stops spinning. "Xev! You're..." starts 790. Xev pats herself down. They are indeed all 'alive' and in the Dark Zone. Being at the exact centre of the collapse must have opened a fractal core, which they passed through, while Mantrid couldn't. "We won!" yells Stan, grabbing Xev. They cheer and jump up and down, but Kai turns and leaves.

"Sleep well" Xev calls to Stan as they head for bed. "I will, now!" he replies. 790 heads towards Xev's bedchamber, but she pulls him back. "We are in the dark zone, which as you know, is full of nasty alien beings!" she explains, with actions. "Someone has to keep watch!" 790 sulkily heads towards the bridge, but never makes it. Something with one arm catches him unawares and knocks his head off his new arm and onto the ground.

Xev is humming "Yo-A-O" as she prepares for bed. Suddenly she feels a touch on the back of her neck. "Hey!" she exclaims "I told you to keep watch". "But I can do so much for you with these fingers..." 790 offers. "Maybe...later" Xev replies. "Why wait till later when you can have it now?" he asks. "Well," says Xev, curiousity creeping in, "Maybe one little squeeze..?" "One little squeeze" repeats 790, and grabs her throat.

"Stan" whispers Lyekka, appearing at his bedside "you have to wake up!" "Lyekka!" he exclaims as he opens his eyes "I thought you were dead!" "That doesn't matter now," she says, "you have to wake up!" "I'm awake, I'm awake!" he says. "Good!" Lyekka disappears. Stan wakes with a start and calls out "Lyekka!" when there is no answer, he tries "Xev?", then "KAI!" and heads for the cryochamber

"You humans are so predicable!" screams Mantrid through 790's head. "Your plan was so obvious!" "But I'm not all human!" snarls Xev, throwing the arm across the room, separating 790's head. Mantrid has wired his little box up to the arm. "You are strong" he admires, attacking her again. Stan and Kai appear at the door, and Kai fires, detaching Mantrid's box from it's arm. Mantrid lays on the floor, screaming in egomaniacal glory "I destroyed a Universe!, I destroyed a Universe!". His rantings get higher and higher pitched, until Xev's boot comes down with vengeance. "And we destroyed you!"

"Of course, you realise that we created Mantrid" comments Kai on the bridge. "So you're saying that we destroyed the light zone?" asks Stan. "Well", replies Xev, "I wonder if the Dark Zone is ready for us?"

And the Lexx flies off into the Dark Zone, for once not followed by a little cloud of Mantrid Arms...