Fat Headed Maybe…
but at least it stops us from living with our heads tucked in our (   )   )…something the Emm should learn!
January 30, 2002

In a groundbreaking "Tell All" by the Emm on Tuesday night to the Jared Chronicle, the former Emm of SPQJ revealed his candid opinion on various matters evolving on the Mapp. Following the pattern of Hanseatic press releases, the "tell all" article is full of bitterness, misinformation, and further reinforces the inept nature of the infant League.

The first news item is the announcement that the SPQJ is enacting the "anti-aggression clause" in the Rubicon operating rules. Unfortunately, this supposed rule book must be classified as neither I or anyone else have ever heard of this rule or the rule book for that matter. Is the president is merely creating rules to suit his purpose? Already humiliated for its rash and ill-informed behavior by Congressional Parliament, is the SPQJ using the Rubicon as a tool of bitterness? Highly possible, yet; perhaps the Rubicon is the Hanseatic League's only remaining weapon as it appears its other tool(s) are clearly inadequate. Of course, some would argue that the SPQJ is also suspended. However, it is not the suspension of Gorditas and Lindsholm assets that amuses this reporter the most. The irony is the terms of suspension. The Chronicle article discloses that the Rubicon will only freeze the funds generated by the suspended nations and does not stop funds from generating. But why do this? Why just freeze assets and not stop them from generating? Unknown to many on the Mapp, the SPQJ actually earns a tidy profit from the funds generated by other nations in the Rubicon (approximately equal to 10% of other nation's profits). Therefore, by freezing the funds and not stopping their generation, the SPQJ still collects money from suspended nations. Who is disgustingly greedy now? Therefore, despite the SPQJ's suspension, Jared will continue profit from the Rubicon.

Eventually, what appears to be the first calm Hanseatic public announcement instinctively plummets into an article that is on par with the Hanseatic press releases of the past…one resorting to vulgar name calling and harmless threats. The former Emm refers to Siggary as an "anal retentive" nation that lacks foresight. Then he continues to belittle Siggary because the Queen rejected the League's offer to join them. Bitterness anyone? Obviously, the Emm has no respect for other people's decision for sovereignty, instead of joining this confederacy of states. Irony creeps again as the Emm refers to Siggary as a Soviet styled nation, yet; is praising the Hanseatic League. Which is a system of random states bound as one nation or more correctly bound to one nation (which shall remain nameless), depending on how clouded your mind is from Hanseatic propaganda. It is thankful that the Emm has resigned from mother Russia…apologies, I mean the SPQJ, but I expect that the Emm's irrational and aggressive personality remains deep in the heart of the new government.

If the Queen's decision for autonomy was met with contempt and slander, imagine how Jared treats the viewpoints of other states in the SPQH. Furthermore, with what binding rules or constitution does the SPQH follow? A constitution that promises democracy in the League or a constitution that promotes the surrender of your voice to the Hanseatic leaders? Or is this constitution also classified and manufactured at the whim of the SPQJ similar to the Rubicon rule book? Is the League truly a collective nation geared towards progress or is the League merely a restrictive power bloc for a couple senseless leaders to manipulate?

Those and many more questions will have to be answered before the League will truly be considered innovative.

Raymond Fertona
Editor of the Gorditian Times