It was the next morning and I had only been awake twenty minutes before Kate and Ivana had made a big deal out of what I was going to wear to breakfast. I was still groggy from waking up so early in the morning, 5.15 to be exact. The dorm building was relatively quiet, which made sense considering many students had gone home for the short break (not to mention how I struggled to believe that people would choose to voluntarily rise at this ungodly hour). Some students, like Ivana, had stayed. I suddenly realized that since our college breaks weren’t perfectly synchronized, Kate and I would probably have to tag along to a few classes when they resumed in a few days. That could be interesting.

‘Hello? Are you listening to me?’ Kate asked.

I gave her a once over and frowned.

‘It’s hard for me to take you seriously when you’re wearing your Powerpuff Girls pajamas,’ I replied.

Ivana was already dressed in jeans and a top. I guess she was used to waking up this early. She already seemed so full of energy.

‘Maybe Kate has a point,’ she piped up. ‘Wear a nice outfit with heels but dress it down a little. You don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard.’

At this time in the morning, I didn’t feel like trying at all.

‘Whatever,’ I grumbled. ‘I’m going to have a shower.’

When I got back from having a shower, Kate and Ivana had ransacked my suitcase. My clothes were scattered around the room as if a low level tornado had ripped through the room. Ivana was trying on a pair of shoes, regardless of the fact they were two sizes too big for her. She looked like a little girl playing dress-ups.

‘Yeah, these shoes will do,’ Ivana declared, passing them to me.

‘Who wears Manolo Blahniks to breakfast?’ I asked. I held the pair of black mary-janes in my hands. The stiletto heel was so pointy it could’ve pierced through the fabric of space time.

‘Ooh, with these jeans, this top and this cute blazer,’ Kate said, throwing the three items my way.

I was too tired to protest further. I put the outfit on and within half an hour, all three of us were on our way to a pancake restaurant. I sat silently in the front seat, looking at all the buildings and scenery we were driving by, whilst Kate and Ivana discussed what movie they most wanted to see this month.

Minutes later we reached ‘Pete’s Pancake Palace’ (a name I thought was a little unoriginal but Kate thought was great because of the alliteration) and Ivana parked the car at the front. We got out and entered the restaurant. It was actually a bigger place than it appeared to be from the outside. Ivana scanned the place for her teammates.

‘Looks like we’re a little early. We’re the first ones here,’ Ivana explained.

‘You mean I could’ve gotten away with sleeping in a little longer?’ I said.

Kate snorts at me.

‘Let’s just take a seat and wait for the others,’ Ivana suggested, giving me a pointed look as if I was about to walk out and take power nap in the car.

I saw this thing on television once that explained that employees who took power naps during their working day actually performed more productively overall. However, the person who researched that could’ve just been searching for an excuse to sleep during their shift.

We get ushered into the patio area which was under a white marquee and adjacent to the main restaurant. I could tell it was heated and I saw that bouquets of flowers decorated the tables. A white centerpiece stood in the centre of the patio. It was pretty done up for a pancake place but I liked it. It reminded me of the garden parties in New York.

We scanned the menus after being seated at a table for four. Well, I already knew what I was going to order so instead I watched my two friends ‘um’ and ‘ah’ for a while.

‘Would you classify watermelon as red…or pink?’ Kate asked.

There are many questions I find unfathomable. And funnily enough they’re all Kate’s.

‘Reddish-pink,’ Ivana concluded after thinking it over.

‘I really don’t think it matters, as long as it tastes good,’ I replied.

Kate made a sort of noise that meant she was satisfied with such answers and she continued to scan the menu. I played with the trim of the tablecloth out of boredom.

I looked up as Ivana greeted a man who had just come over to our table.

‘Hey, Coach Bowman. Meet my friends, Kate Wells and Ivy Spencer. Kate, Ivy, this is the Head Coach,’ she said cheerily.

‘Hi there, ladies. Are you two ‘up and coming’ swimmers like Ivana here?’ he asked, while extending his hand for us to shake.

‘Sadly, no. We’re visiting Ivana. We actually go to Harvard,’ I replied, while shaking his hand.

‘Ah, that’s okay. I won’t hold it against you,’ he laughed. He shook Kate’s hand and then looked over at the door. ‘Oh, there’s Mike.’

Michael walked in wearing a polo shirt and jeans. He gave Coach Bowman a big grin as he walked over. Ivana kicked me under the table but I hardly flinched.

‘My mom won’t be able to make it this morning. She’s picking up my sisters from the airport,’ he explained.

‘Oh, right,’ Coach Bowman nodded. ‘Well, you can sit down with these three ladies. I’ll hang around near the door so I can meet and greet people.’

‘Okay.’

Michael sat down in the chair across from me at the table.

‘Meet my friends, Kate and Ivy,’ Ivana said in introduction before he even had a chance to look at us.

Michael motioned to look at us and a familiar look of recognition appeared on his face.

‘Oh, so now I can put names to faces,’ he grinned.

You know those moments where you suddenly feel really inspired and a witty remark just escapes your mouth ever so naturally, impressing the person who has just greeted you?

I was not having one of those moments.

I sort of sat there as if I had gone numb. I figured this would be read as indifference, which was not a good thing in this case.

‘Kate, Ivy, this is Michael,’ Ivana said in mock seriousness.

Michael gave us a modest wave in greeting.

‘Yeah, no shit,’ Kate said to Ivana with deliberate attitude.

This made me half-laugh. Then I felt a bit embarrassed for doing so. I felt like I had to redeem myself by saying something, not wanting to look apathetic.

‘No swearing at the breakfast table,’ I said with the intention of being lighthearted.

‘So do you two go to U-M too?’ Michael asked Kate and I.

He picked up a menu from the holder and opened it. I watched him do this. His mannerisms were traced with nervousness but in an appeasing way. He exuded a sort of reserved confidence; an unpretentious way of going about things.

‘No, we’re Harvard girls,’ Kate said.

‘Oh, okay,’ he replied. He had hidden his face behind the menu temporarily, so I couldn’t study his face for a reaction.

I noticed a few families had arrived. Coach Bowman was greeting them.

A waitress came over with an order pad. She looked about fifty years old. Her hair was in a French twist and she wore a pancake colored uniform with ‘Pete’s Pancake Palace’ emblazoned on the pocket in cursive. She took the pen from behind her ear and asked Ivana what she wanted to order.

‘I’ll have a stack of blueberry pancakes, thanks,’ Ivana told her.

‘Okay, and you?’ the waitress said, now looking at Michael. She didn’t seem to recognize him at all. She sounded like she wanted to be anywhere but here, her voice glazed with absolute boredom.

‘I’ll have two of the breakfast sandwiches, one plate of pancakes, a plate of grits and some French toast. I’m hungry,’ he said.

I was bit taken aback by the amount of food he ordered. But I figured he needed all the energy for training or whatever.

‘Mmmhmmm, and you?’ the waitress said to me, without batting an eyelid.

‘Two cups of black coffee. No sugar.’

She scribbled this down on her pad rather lazily.

‘You’re not going to eat anything?’ Michael asked me with a quizzical look. Sort of a mix of incredulity, concern and wonder.

‘She doesn’t do breakfast,’ Ivana explains. ‘Even though it’s the most important meal of the day.’

I was somewhat glad that Ivana answered for me. Every time Michael spoke to me, I felt like I had to measure my words and say the ‘right’ thing. And at this hour, my brain power was at a limited level, let alone the fact I kept getting a bit overwhelmed by his presence.

Ivana raises an eyebrow at me. I raise my hand as if telling her to stop criticizing me.

‘It’s 6.25 in the morning. I don’t need rhetoric. I need coffee.’

‘Well, if you get hungry you can have some of my food,’ Michael offered.

I thought that was rather sweet of him. I tucked my hair behind my ears, realizing too late that that probably indicated I had been charmed.

‘Thanks.’

The waitress has this look on her face that indicates she thinks we are all wasting her time. She turns to Kate.

‘Um, I’ll have French toast, thanks,’ Kate decided.

The waitress nods. She hobbles away, looking reluctantly at the people who have just been seated as if serving them would indeed be the death of her.

‘She needs to build a bridge and get over it,’ Ivana said when she was out of earshot.

‘Yeah, or jump off it!’ Kate suggested with a wicked laugh.

‘Maybe she’s just having a bad day. Like Ivy was having yesterday,’ Michael said.

I felt put on the spot to say something. I made eye contact with him.

‘Well, I hope today will turn out better for me.’

Oh, like you wouldn’t believe.

***
Somewhere in the last hour, I had started to come undone.

I leant over the toilet bowl, one hand on my stomach and the other on the cubicle wall trying to prop myself up. A sourness was ravaging my throat. I breathed in sharply while trying to regain some sense of balance.

I couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment I had begun to feel this way, an uneasy amalgamation of mental anxiety and physical sickness. I tried to sift through the details swirling around in my head.

The chatter of numerous swim team members, friends and families echoed in my memory. The scents of succulent bacon, frying pancakes and sweet fruit had coalesced into a heavy air. The four of us had been sitting there, eating, and chatting. About what though? The future, we were talking about the future. Kate’s plan to be a novelist. Ivana’s goal to make it onto the Olympic team. Michael’s four year plan in preparation for Beijing.

But it wasn’t then. It was after Michael had politely excused himself from the table so he could mingle with the crowd, who were eager to meet him or catch up with him. It was after I had watched him sign autographs for children, after Ivana had introduced some other team members and after Kate had recounted her first swimming experience.

I had let go of something I had been holding back.

I wearily turned my attention to the present. I tried to steady myself. A sudden volatile feeling rushed over me. I threw up. Out were the two cups of coffee, the half a pancake Michael had shared with me and the morsel of French toast he had also convinced me to eat.

It wasn’t that I had eaten something bad or off, though perhaps the food had not settled well in my stomach. It was more that whilst feeling emotionally upset, purging something from my body seemed like an automatic reaction, as if whatever I was upset about would be expelled as well.

I hear a knock on the cubicle door.

‘Ivy, are you okay?’ Ivana asked tentatively.

I leant against the wall of the cubicle, but slid down so I was sitting against it. Hugging myself.

‘No,’ I breathed out.

It felt good to say that, to admit that.

‘Are you sick?’

‘I don’t think so. I think I’m having some sort of mental backslide. Like a mini-breakdown or something.’

‘Over what?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Er…a bit more specific, perhaps?’

I rested my head on my knees, eyes looking at the door. For the first time in a long time, I opened up to someone.

‘I feel like I’m in front of a jury when I’m around him. But not because he’s judging me, I don’t think, but because I feel like judging myself. I know, I don’t know him at all, but that’s the point isn’t it? I care about what he thinks. I feel like scrutinizing every move I make, every word I say, you know? That’s not actually a good feeling when I confront myself. I’ve never had a problem about caring what people thought of me, I’ve just always not cared about what others think. It’s convenient that way. I can act as unforgiving as I want, as selfish as I want, as cold as I want. But lately, I have cared, whether in retrospect or at the time… I do care,’ I explained gently. ‘I guess I’ve kind of built up a lot of emotion about stuff without letting it out, so it’s just caught up with me.’

There’s a pregnant pause between us. As if so much could be said, but it didn’t need to be.

It’s Ivana who breaks the silence.

‘Do you remember when we were in ninth grade and you sang the Dawson’s Creek theme song at my birthday party? Do you remember how everyone was surprised that you did, but how awesome everyone thought you were? I spent the rest of high school waiting for another moment like that. Senior year came and went, and it never happened,’ Ivana said.

‘What are you saying?’ I asked.

‘I don’t know, really. I just remembered that, that’s all.’

I hear the main door to the ladies bathroom open, and footsteps as someone else enters.

‘What’s going on? Is everything okay?’ Kate asked curiously.

Ivana gives her the five-second rundown and the three of us stay silent for a while.

I hear Kate clear her throat. I knew she wasn’t going to ask a stupid question. No random bits trivia. No queries about something I didn’t care about. This time, she was going to quote a meaningful passage or line. Something fitting. Something appropriate.

‘You shouldn’t be scared of the truth. Without truth you can’t have love,’ Kate said to me.

‘Shakespeare? Hemingway? Marlowe?’

‘Actually, I think it’s from a Black Eyed Peas song.’

I awkwardly laughed out loud. My throat stung a bit. I looked up at the bathroom ceiling.

‘I’m just a bit over-dramatic about things, aren’t I?’ I sighed.

‘You know it,’ Ivana said.

I stood up, smoothed over my outfit and unlocked the door. I stepped out, and was hugged by my two friends. My reflection in the bathroom mirror showed that my eyes were a little bloodshot. ‘Your eyes become a deeper green when you’re upset’, my mother had once told me. I looked exhausted.

Kate and Ivana led me out of the bathroom.

I made my way back to our table, while Kate went to get me a glass of water and Ivana went to say goodbye to all her teammates before we left. I sat down and kept to myself. I didn’t feel like watching people socialize happily.

I didn’t look up when Michael returned to the table. I felt his hand gently touch my arm. I almost quivered from his touch.

‘You okay?’

I looked up at him. For some reason, I looked him straight in the eye, allowing him to read me if he wished. The eyes never lie; they’ll betray you when your words are false.

‘Not really.’

He removed his hand, sort of embarrassed he had let it linger there on my forearm. He gave me a look of sympathy, before looking to his left to see Ivana giving her farewells. I guessed he figured Kate, Ivana and I were leaving the restaurant shortly. I bit my lip, wondering what he was thinking. I heard a friend of his, Peter Vanderkaay (I think that’s what his name was), call him over. Michael looked over at him and signaled he’d be over in a few moments.

I remained silent. Michael took a napkin from the dispenser on the table and revealed a pen from his pocket. He scribbled down something and put the napkin in my hand.

‘I hope you feel better,’ he said as he got up. ‘Hope to bump into you again.’

‘Yeah, you too.’

When he was gone, I placed my hands in my lap before unfolding the napkin, not wanting anyone else’s eyes to intrude. I read the writing on it:

I’m a good listener.

And underneath was a phone number.

Or d) all of the above.

Fortunately, I heard Ivana’s voice and figured out I was in her dorm room, resting on my designated floor mattress. I had slept in the same clothes I had worn out to breakfast; therefore, I was quite uncomfortable.

‘Hey, you’re awake. You want some food? You missed lunch, it’s already 3.30,’ she said gently.

‘We’ll get you something if you want,’ Kate offered.

I realized they were treating me as if I was a fragile object.
Handle with care.
No sudden movements.
Keep away from loud sounds.
Do not place under duress.
Place somewhere free from extreme weather conditions.
Keep out of reach of children.

Well, maybe not the last one. I did realize, however, that I would have to reassure the two of them that I was fine now, by acting as ‘normally’ possible.

‘Um, yeah I guess I should eat something,’ I said, still trying to wake up properly.

‘Let me check your vital signs first. You look really pale,’ Kate said.

‘I’m not dying or anything,’ I said defensively. ‘Trust me, I’d let you know if I was!’

‘Breathing? Check. Heartbeat? Check. And attitude? Check,’ Ivana said with a grin.

Both of them relaxed a bit. I was tired, yes, but moping around was not going to help me feel better. Unless it involved a big tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream.

‘Okay, we’ll drive down to McDonald’s for you. What do you want?’ Ivana asked.

‘I’ll have a salad, a drink…,’ I decided first. I paused and fully regained my composure before continuing. ‘And my sanity back, thanks.’

‘Would you like fries with that?’ Kate asks me.

‘No,’ I answered. ‘And if they ask you to super size anything, don’t.’

‘Okay. I’ll drop Kate off at Blockbuster with my membership card and she can get some dvds while I get some food. We’ll have a girl’s night in,’ Ivana said.

I try to explain to Kate what movies I want her to borrow for us.

‘Don’t get a drama, it won’t cheer me up. Maybe a comedy, Oh, but I don’t want to be confronted by excessive wise-cracking today. So maybe something else…I’m not in the mood for an action flick though, too much gore, that's gross…’ I thought out loud.

‘Ivy, that leaves cartoons and porn.’

‘Oh.’

‘I’m not going to Blockbuster and choosing between Spongebob Squarepants and an adult film.’

‘Okay, ignore me. Get anything you think is good.’

The two of them leave, promising to be as quick as possible. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. It’s dead quiet without them around and I’m left alone with my own thoughts.

I suddenly remember I have a napkin in my pocket.

I spend the next five minutes thinking about what I was supposed to do. Do I ring the number? Or not? How soon am I supposed to ring? That’s if he expects me to. What if it isn’t his number at all and I ring and find out that it’s actually the national counseling hotline? Or a suicide prevention call centre? I don’t know. And what if they put me on hold? That would be horrible, ‘Hi, you’ve reached the suicide prevention call centre. We can’t take your call at the moment because all our operators are busy. But don’t get mad at us. You’re the loony who thought she had Michael Phelps’ number…’

I already knew the number off by heart. The number on the napkin, not the hotlines. It was like that episode of ‘Alias’ where Agent Vaughn is debriefing Sydney on her CIA mission and he tells her to memorize a series of numbers. After talking a bit longer, he repeats that she needs to memorize the numbers and she’s like ‘Duh, I’m not an idiot. I’m a Secret Agent. I know how important this frickin’ mission is. I know the numbers’. Well, she didn’t put it like that but that’s what she meant. If ‘Alias’ was on HBO instead of ABC, she probably would’ve added in a few swear words too.

So, the mission was to call the number. And talk.

I would probably have to call now. What other time would I have the privacy to do so? I hadn’t even told Ivana and Kate that I apparently had his number. They would just make a big fuss about it. And eventually when I do tell them, I wouldn’t want them eavesdropping.

I reached for my cell. It was in my handbag, which I had thrown aside before falling asleep. Time to be brave. I flipped my cell open and dialed the number.

It was ringing.

On the seventh ring, someone picked up.

‘Hi, Michael Phelps speaking.’

Oh God. Risk of hyperventilation: very high.

‘Um, hi…this is Ivy…Spencer,’ I said unsurely.

I had said that unsurely because I had half-expected a hotline operator. It came across in a way that could’ve suggested that I didn’t even know my own name, but I think I got away with portraying that I was just nervous, not stupid.

‘Oh, hey! Feeling better?’

He seemed genuinely glad that I had called. However, judging by my mental state, I could’ve misread his voice.

‘Yeah, pretty much. But I don’t know if I want to talk about my mini-breakdown. I guess I called to chat then. If that makes sense.’

‘Yeah, it does. So, what are you doing right now?’

‘I’m waiting for Ivana and Kate to return from Blockbuster and McDonalds.’

‘What movies are you getting?’

‘I don’t know. Kate’s taking care of that.’

‘Have you seen ‘8 Mile’?’

‘No. That’s the one with Eminem in it, isn’t it? To be honest, I haven’t really listened to much rap music. Probably because I’m an Upper East Sider and can’t relate to any of it…all that stuff about guns, dealing drugs, prostitutes, pimping…’

‘I love rap music and I can’t directly relate to any of that stuff.’

‘Well, I would certainly hope not!’

He laughs.

‘You should give it a chance. It’s not all about that kind of stuff.’

‘Yeah, maybe. Listen, I would invite you over but it’s a girl’s night and I don’t think your coach would appreciate it if you showed up to training with your nails painted.’

‘No, I don’t think I’d appreciate it either!’

'Shame though. I have this new shade of pink, and it's gorgeous.'

'Oh, I'm sure it is.'

'No, really! It is.'

I hear someone call for him in the background.

‘Oh, sorry, Ivy. I have to go. Family shopping trip. Which really means I’ll be carrying my mom’s and my sisters’ heavy shopping bags around the mall. But since you’ve called, I have your number on my cell now so we can talk again later.’

‘Sure.’

‘Okay, see ya.’

‘Bye.’

I had no idea whether ‘later’ meant minutes, hours or days. I made a promise to myself to keep my cell phone charged at all times, with the volume on the max level. I gave myself kudos for attempting and accomplishing the mission in a satisfactory manner. It had been short and sweet.

I sat on the bed and continued to wait for Ivana and Kate.

This Secret Agent, I must say, is quite pleased with herself.

‘I think it was a bad decision to eat that second packet of Oreos. Because by the time Harry Potter had defeated that big snake thing, I felt like puking,’ Ivana complained.

‘Because of the food or because J.K. Rowling is linked to the subversion of public attitudes towards contemporary British literature?’ Kate asked.

‘What the hell are you talking about?’ I asked.

‘Never mind.’

The three of us had retreated to our beds (well, Ivana had her bed, Kate had wanted Ivana’s roommate’s bed, I had the floor mattress). We had already turned the lights off, albeit it was only ten o’clock but we were aware that Ivana had training the next morning. She had said something about her schedule but I didn’t understand it, so I just did the same thing I did when I didn’t understand someone. I just looked at their nose while they spoke, and smiled and nodded. Just smile and nod. You can’t go wrong.

‘I liked ‘The Sweetest Thing’ though. That was good,’ Ivana said with a yawn.

‘I don’t get what Cameron Diaz sees in Justin Timberlake,’ Kate wondered.

‘You’re just anti-N’Sync,’ I said.

‘No, I’m not. But I do think the word ‘N’Sync’ is a grammatical nightmare.’

‘Kate, were you one of those people who got like a perfect score on their SAT verbal?’ Ivana asked.

‘No, I got 740.’

‘Ivy you got a perfect score, didn’t you?’ Ivana asked me.

‘Yeah.’

‘I think I would’ve scored higher if the guy sitting next to the girl in front of me wasn’t so hot! The SAT people probably thought I was cheating but I was perving, actually.’

We all laughed. I rolled over to my left side in order to get a bit more comfortable.

‘Eeewwww,’ I squealed.

‘What?’ Kate and Ivana said simultaneously.

‘I just rolled over and crushed an Oreo.’

One time at summer camp when I was younger, I saved a salami sandwich from lunchtime so I could have a midnight snack later. So, I stashed it under the covers before the next activity, which was probably hiking or something. Later, at night, I totally forgot about it because I was so tired from all the physical stuff we had done during the day. I ended up sleeping on it. It was so gross, especially since I had squished it. It took two bars of soap the next morning to rid myself of the cold meat smell.

‘Don’t turn the light back on. I won’t be able to get to sleep. Just brush the crushed pieces and crumbs onto the floor,’ Ivana said.

‘Whatever.’

After de-Oreo-ing my bed, Ivana repeated that she really needed some sleep. So we stopped talking. I lay in bed with my eyes open, not very sleepy after my long nap earlier. I thought about the phone conversation, which I still hadn’t told anyone about. I thought about when would be a good time to tell my two friends about it. I then became restless. For the second time that day, I had to just go ahead and do something I was slightly freaked out about.

‘Hey, I need to tell you guys something.’

I heard both of them shift around.

‘Ivy, please. I need sleep,’ Ivana complained.

‘Yeah, I heard you the first time. But I really need to tell you guys something...’ I began.

‘Ooh, let us guess!!’ Kate said enthusiastically.

‘I don’t want you to guess. I just want to tell you.’

‘But it’s not fun that way!’

‘Fine. Go ahead and guess.’

‘Um….ah…’ I heard Ivana mumble.

‘Let me think…’ Kate said.

‘Okay, you’re both wasting my time. Today, Michael Phelps gave me his phone number and I called him several hours ago. It probably means nothing but I thought I should tell you.’

‘WHAT?!’

I suddenly feel blinded when Ivana switches on her bedside lamp. I recoil like a vampire would if they were confronted by sunlight. I can’t remember, but I think on Buffy the Vampire Slayer sunlight causes a vampire to ignite. Or were they reduced to dust instantly? No, I don’t think so. Maybe I’ll google it later.

‘HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL US THAT?!!!’ Kate yelled.

‘Well, I’d figured you two would freak out. And once again, I am proven correct,’ I said calmly.

‘OH, SO THAT’S WHY YOU’RE IN SUCH A GOOD MOOD NOW!’ Ivana said.

‘Because I’m right or because I talked to him?’

Ivana threw a pillow at me.

‘Well, give us some details then! Hurry up,’ Ivana said, turning her voice’s volume back down.

‘I don’t know. It was quick, he had to go somewhere. We talked about rap music and nail polish.’

‘Rap music and nail polish? Impressive, Ivy,’ Kate said dryly.

Ivana turned her lamp off.

‘I’m going to kill you in the morning. I’m too tired now,’ Ivana yawned, anger still apparent in her voice.

‘Yeah, I’m going to kill you too,’ Kate said.

‘Well, if I were you I would let the other commit the actual deed while you just help out. Plead to being an accessory. Less jail time than a murder one charge,’ I said.

Both of them snicker.

I closed my eyes and tried to get to sleep. Minutes later, I hear what sounded like somebody typing a message into their phone, in frenzied manner. I open my eyes and see a green glow and also a blue glow, both to my left.

Hey, my phone has a blue glow.

‘Ivana, what are you doing?!’

‘I’m sending a message to Michael, asking if it’s okay if I bring you to training with me tomorrow. We’re doing joint sprint training, guys and girls. You can just watch us and hang around.’

‘You aren’t serious, are you?’

‘Sure I am. I just pressed ‘send’. You can have your phone back now, I was just using the number.’

I feel an uprising of panic. I can’t just show up and hang around in the stands like a groupie. Hell no.

‘I’m not going. You can’t make me. How embarrassed would I be?’

I hear the ‘message’ beep of Ivana’s phone. Oh, heaven have mercy on my soul.

I’m going to have to work on keeping my brain functioning whilst either being around Michael or contemplating the very thought of being around him. Otherwise, I’m just going to overload and my brain will shut down in self-defense. Like Microsoft Windows XP.

Of course, I wanted to see him again. I just didn’t want to look obvious, desperate or possibly deranged.

‘He says, quote ‘yeah that would be cool’ unquote.’

‘Meh,’ I said.

‘You don’t sound very excited.’

‘Neither does he.’

‘You can’t read into an SMS.’

‘Whatever.’

‘I’ll wake you and Kate up early.’

‘Fun.’

For the second day in the row, I would have to wake up at a ridiculous hour.

Oh, the sacrifices I make.

I turned around and started walking away in the direction opposite to the aquatics complex.

‘Oh, no you don’t!’

Ivana follows me and grabs my arm, jerking me back in the other direction.

‘It’s not fair. You let Kate stay in bed,’ I pleaded. ‘And careful with my coat. Limited edition.’

‘What’s wrong with you? Since when have you been scared of a guy? You’re usually so upfront with them.’

‘Yeah, because usually I’m not doing any chasing. They come up to me, I either say ‘sure, I’ll go out with you’ or ‘as if, get lost’. Simple. No fuss. No drama.’

Ivana doesn’t say anything in reply so we both continue to make our way to the pool. Her silence is unsettling to me. I look over to her expecting some sort of comment or question. She just adjusts her grip on her sports bag and waves to one of her teammates, who is at the entrance.

‘Say something.’

Her reply takes a few seconds.

‘No offense, Ivy, but you’re acting like an idiot.’

I’ve never understood that expression, ‘no offense’. You can’t just add ‘no offense’ to the beginning of a sentence (or should I say, insult) and expect the other person to not take offense. Do people really think that, for example, if they say ‘no offense, but you’re hair is really fugly’ to someone, that someone will just go ‘oh hey, thanks for the comment. I won’t be offended because you said not to be’? They’d probably bitch-slap you in reply.

‘Why do you think that?’

She stops and turns to me.

‘How can you think that Michael giving his number to you means nothing?’

‘I don’t think it means nothing, I’m just unsure of what it does mean.’

‘Well, you’ll just have to find out. Not running away from him is a good place to start.’

‘Alright, don’t be so upset with me,’ I said gently.

She nudges me in the arm and gives me an encouraging smile.

‘If I had joked about it, you wouldn’t have taken me seriously.’

We entered the complex and parted ways. I walked over to the stands and sat myself down in the sixth row up. I saw that a notable number of parents were in the stands watching too. I guess I had failed to think about the amount of dedication needed at this level, and the amount of support these athletes got.

I watched as the swim team started warming up in the pool, spotting Ivana in one of the middle lanes. Michael was talking to a couple teammates on the deck, waiting to dive in.

I opened my tote bag and got out the latest issue of Vogue. I flicked through it whilst also watching the team. I heard the frequent sounds of whistles being blown and coaches yelling loudly. A few sprint races were run before more talking from the coaches.

After about forty minutes I looked up to see Michael getting out of the pool. No one else was, the rest of them continued to swim laps. I sat there a bit puzzled. Perhaps he was getting out to help coach? I saw Michael getting a towel and drying himself off, but I averted my eyes so I wouldn’t be caught staring in case he looked up. Lucky I did, because when I looked back he was coming my way. He had his towel around his waist, but he still had his cap on. We waved at each other.

I told myself not to freak out. I listened this time.

‘Why are you out of the pool already?’ I asked as he sat down next to me.

‘Oh, I already reached my max workout. I’m still recovering from a bit of a back injury, I’m not at full strength yet,’ he explained.

‘Oh, I see.’

‘You thought I was slacking off, didn’t you?’ he joked.

‘Maybe,’ I said with a side-long glance.

He smirked but paused before speaking again.

‘Can I ask you a question?’ he asked, taking off his swimming cap as he did so.

I looked directly at him.

‘Shoot,’ I said earnestly.

‘Did you recognize me the first time we met?’

So Kate was right after all. I mustn’t have made it clear at the time whether I knew who he was or not.

I knew why he was asking me this particular question. He wanted to know whether I was being nice to him because I liked him as a person or because he was ‘Michael Phelps’.

‘Someone actually pointed you out before I bumped into you.’

He nodded. It was an ambiguous answer, really. I didn’t say whether I would have recognized him regardless. I thought of elaborating but I didn’t.

‘So how much do you actually know about swimming?’ he asked with a smile.

‘Well, I watched a bit during the Olympics. Back in high school, Ivana got me to go watch her at a few meets. And my mother, who’s in public relations, knows the marketing rep who works for Ian Thorpe’s underwear line in Australia. That’s about it.’

‘Oh yeah, Ian’s mentioned some of his business ventures.’

‘You guys must have some pretty lucrative sponsorship deals, right?’

‘Yeah we do. It’s good to have that kind of support.’

Both of us look over to the pool as another whistle blows.

‘Have you ever considered it, though?’ I wondered out loud.

‘Considered what?’

‘Starting your own underwear line.’

He cracked up laughing.

‘No! But maybe I’ll ask my manager about it one day.’

‘Yeah, you do that!’

I gave him the most genuine smile I could muster.

‘So, how was shopping with your family yesterday?’ I asked him.

‘Good. Although, I’ll never understand why women love it so much. My sisters and my mom insisted on visiting practically every store. It’s tiring after a while.’

‘Yeah, I usually count shopping as my exercise for the week.’

There was more yelling from the pool deck. A lot of the swimmers were nodding as if they understood something. Sport required so much discipline, a different sort of discipline to schoolwork to me. I played two seasons of lacrosse in high school and that was it. It was quite hard for me to get motivated about it at first, before I got into the routine.

‘So what are your plans for the day?’ Michael asked casually.

‘Don’t know yet. I think I’ll just take each hour as it comes. What are you doing after this?’

‘Have breakfast. Go back to bed for a while,’ he shrugged.

Unfortunately it wasn’t the response I was looking for. It wasn’t exactly something where he could invite me to join him.

Shame. I wouldn’t have minded.

If you know what I mean.

I mentally reprimanded myself. Bit early to be thinking that way. Must be the fact that he doesn’t have a shirt on and is sitting right next to me.

‘Oh, right,’ I responded.

He sort of bit his lip as if he was unsure about what he was going to say next.

‘Um…listen, if you aren’t doing anything later on…well, you don’t know if you are…but anyway…’ he began, clear traces of nervousness now apparent in his voice.

Something conveyed to me a slight vulnerability in him. He was struggling to maintain eye contact. But his sincerity saved him.

‘…If you wanted…maybe, I could… take you out somewhere…’ he finished.

This would have to rank as one of the best moments ever. Up there with the Harvard acceptance letter, the time I had a photo taken with Orlando Bloom when I was in London and the time Donald Trump accidentally spilt red wine on the front of my mother’s cream colored dress at a charity dinner last year.

‘Sure,’ I smiled.

What I really wanted to say was ‘HELL YES! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WOULDN’T WANT TO?’ But clearly that would’ve spoilt the moment.

‘Really?’ he said.

He seemed somewhat surprised. I don’t know why. I wasn’t trying to be intimidating or anything.

‘Yes. That’s my final answer, Regis. Lock it in.’

He smiled self-consciously.

‘Okay then. So, I’ll pick you up from Ivana’s dorm building at around…say three?’ he said.

‘Sounds good to me,’ I said.

Now that was the understatement of the century.

I lowered the newspaper I was reading and saw Kate standing in front of me with her hands on her hips. She didn’t look very happy. She raised an eyebrow at me. I raised an eyebrow back.

‘I’m reading the newspaper,’ I said, stating the obvious.

‘Why?’

‘Because I want to.’

She rolled her eyes at me and snatched the newspaper away.

‘You shouldn’t be doing that,’ she scolded.

‘I shouldn’t be keeping up with current events?!’

Kate turns to Ivana and they exchange looks. The ‘jeez, our friend is really dumb and I’d really like to smack her on the back of the head’ look. I had no idea what their problem was.

‘What’s wrong with you two?’ I asked.

‘You have a date with Michael in two and half hours. And you’re just sitting around reading the paper!’ Ivana replied.

‘So? It’s not like I’m reading the comics, I’m reading about Turkey’s invitation to join the European Union. It’s worthwhile reading.’

‘Ooooooh, there are comics? Where?’ Kate asked, while rifling through the paper.

Ivana shot her a look. Kate stopped and then put her hands back on her hips.

‘You should be getting ready,’ Kate said, pointing at me.

‘I have heaps of time for that,’ I said.

‘No, you don’t,’ Ivana scoffed.

Both of them should have known that if they kept talking to me like an idiot, my ego was going to come out.

‘Yes, I do. Besides, I could put on a potato sack at the last minute and still look really hot.’

Yep, there it is.

‘Oh great. Did you hear that, Ivana? She wants to wear a potato sack!’ Kate said.

‘What a stupid idea, Ivy,’ Ivana said.

I couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or not.

‘Have the both of you gone insane? I never said I was wearing a potato sack,’ I retorted. ‘Nice spin, Kate. You should work for the White House.’

I was twirling my finger in the air to demonstrate spin and insanity. Kate stuck her tongue at me. Ivana followed suit.

I heard my cell phone ring. I watched as Kate and Ivana motioned to go through my suitcase to find an outfit for me. I let them do so.

I reached for my phone. According to the display, it was my brother calling. I hadn’t heard from him in two weeks. He had taken a semester off from Yale to go traveling. At first I had thought that was weird, he only had a year left of his degree. But he did plan on going to grad school though, so I guessed now was a good a time as ever to go on a break.

I flipped my phone open and answered.

‘Spencer.’

‘Spencer? You can’t answer your phone with ‘Spencer’. That’s my last name too. It makes no sense for you to answer a phone call from me like that.’

I had deliberately done that to annoy him. I noticed his accent was a bit muddled after spending time with relatives in London, an English tone imposed on his voice.

‘Careful with your accent, Edward. You’re starting to sound like Mary Poppins,’ I quoted from ‘Get Over It’.

‘That’s a new one. Father says I sound like Madonna.’

I laughed. I pictured him dancing around in a bustier like Madonna did in the 80s, singing to ‘Like a Virgin’ or ‘Like a Prayer’.

‘Ivy, don’t laugh at me.’

‘I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing with you.’

‘But I’m not laughing!’

‘Ed, what do you want? Kate and Ivana are already hassling me because I have a date soon.’

I decided not to mention Michael’s name. Just in case Edward blabbed to our parents. Next thing I know, I would get a phone call from them and I’d be on the receiving end of an hour long lecture, which surely would’ve ended with some sort of warning about guys who’ve been arrested, regardless of whether they were sorry or not.

‘You have a date? Good luck.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Ivy, I’ve had hangovers longer than your relationships.’

I ignored him. I’ve never even had a real relationship. I dated four guys in high school. None of them held my interest. They were all too interested in themselves.

‘Why are you calling me?’ I asked.

‘You need to be in New York on Saturday. So, book a flight from wherever you are.’

‘I’m in Ann Arbor, Michigan.’

‘That’s a little random. I thought you were going to Aspen.’

‘Nope. Where are you?’

‘At home in NY. I just got back from England.’

‘Why do I need to be back in NY?’ I whined.

‘Charity fundraiser.’

‘Blah.’

‘Don’t you dare leave me alone with the parentals any longer than necessary! Father is all stressed out, as usual. Mother is walking around with a cucumber face mask at night. Hence, she looks scarier than usual. ’

‘Didn’t think that was possible.’

‘Neither did I. But it looks like she’s grown fungi on her face.’

I pictured this and shuddered.

‘Gross, Ed!’

‘Fly in on Friday, okay? You can bring friends if you want. That’s if you have any left.’

‘Haha, Ed. I’m turning you off now.’

‘Turning me off? I’m your brother, not a kitchen appliance, Ivy.’

‘BYE.’

‘Bye.’

I put my phone back onto the table. Kate and Ivana had set out three different outfits on Ivana’s bed. They were now going through all my accessories, trying to pick out the right jewelry and handbag for each one.

Personally, I thought the outfit in the middle was skanky. It wasn’t that each piece was skanky, but in combination they were. One step away from Christina Aguilera.

Which was clearly one step too close.

‘Definitely not outfit number two,’ I told them.

‘Why did Edward call?’ Ivana asked, still going through all my jewelry.

‘I have to go back to NYC on Friday. Some event on Saturday.’

‘We can’t leave early! How are you going to get a second date with Michael if we’re leaving early?’ Kate protested.

‘It’s only Tuesday,’ I said.

‘Duh! Invite him to the event,’ Ivana suggested.

She swapped the boots of outfit two with a cute pair of flats. Kate scrunched up her nose and swapped the necklace of outfit three with a pair of earrings.

‘You mean, bring him back home with me?’ I said.

The three of us stared at each other.

‘Is that a bad idea?’ Kate asked.

‘I don’t know,’ I said honestly.

‘Bring it up later and see how he reacts,’ Ivana said.

My cell phone beeped. Someone had messaged me.

It was Michael:
hey, hav 2 pick u up 30min earlier. is that ok?

I messaged him back saying that was fine.

‘Now I have less than two hours to get ready,’ I said out loud.

‘See! Why do you do these things to yourself?’ Ivana said.

‘What things? I’m not doing anything!’

‘That’s the point!’

I jumped as two pillows came flying my way.