... and now, back to PENGUIN$

******************

Loud rock and roll music thundered out of a portable stereo system, while
the tangy smell of barbecuing food wafted on the soft spring air. The sky
above the harbor was awash in the hues of an incredible sunset and the front
lawn of the Factory was covered with humans, cats and small purple penguins,
enjoying the last rays of sunlight for the day.

From this distance across the water, the city seemed relatively unaffected
by the events of the past 24 hours. The only evidence of anything amiss was
the damaged and blackened top of Cathedral Tower.

"Girlfriend, I wish you could have been there to see it!" George said taking
a sip from a glass of white wine. "The grunts just stopped fighting and
wandered away. Then the Emperor Penguins melted into these big stinking
puddles of goo."

Valeria smiled and leaned back on the front steps of the Factory. Having
reluctantly sworn off alcohol, she looked down with annoyance at the glass
of iced tea she was nursing and then sighed. "That must have happened at the
same time we blew up the Empress," she mused. "I should have figured that
out the moment I saw Dumass snap out of it. I'm just glad Norman showed up
when he did," she added. "We totally forgot about telling those penguins to
eat the Empress' old body. After that they were fine."

Anita nodded from her seat on the steps beside her. "That's all they really
wanted. They weren't evil. That part of the Empress died just before they
were born."

"So what's going to happen to them now?" Valeria asked.

Anita smiled. "Funny you should ask that. My little guys were pretty happy
to see the new penguins."

"Happy? Why?" Valeria asked, "Because they're all of the same kind of
penguin?"

"Um, no, not just that." Anita smiled sheepishly. "My guys are, um, all
guys. The hatchlings are all girls. It's a match made in heaven."

"All girls, huh?" Valeria shook her head in wonder, watching the small
waddling figures. "All potential Empresses, you mean. I hope you know what
you're doing. Still if that don't beat all. Purple Penguins in love."

"What's the problem with Norman?" George asked. "He hasn't found himself a
girlfriend."

"Yeah, poor little guy," Anita said sadly. "He's a leg man."

"Ouch!" George cringed. "That's rough when you're a penguin."

"So you're taking them all back to St.Louis with you? ALL of them?" Valeria
asked incredulously.

"Yep," Anita smiled. "Transportation won't be a problem. I have a feeling my
ride is gonna show up any minute now." She stared towards the street where a
long black limousine had just pulled up to the gates and was heading along
the driveway. "This could be it now," she added.

The car came to a halt and the driver's door opened. A tall, devastatingly
handsome man stepped out and began to stride towards the entrance of the
factory, revealing hairy, muscular legs with every swish of his kilt. A
light breeze softly blew his long copper hair around broad, bare shoulders
as he walked.

"Gah," Valeria said, jaw dropping.

"That isn't my ride," Anita sighed sadly.

Chris came charging through the front doors of the factory. "Nope. It's
mine. C'mon Jim, Ian's here!"

"I can't believe he gave up nursing to become your chauffeur and house boy,"
Jim said as he followed behind her shaking his head.

"Wait!" Valeria cried. "You can't leave yet! What happens now with the
resistance forces?"

Jim put a hand on her shoulder. "Relax, it's over. We won. I've been
following reports from our other strongholds. They all say that the
fighting's stopped. Once the Empress was dead her control over the troops
dissolved. The Emperors have all been destroyed and the grunts have turned
into plain old penguins."

"But what about the factory and all the money you sent me? What about the
team?"

"It'll take a while to wrap up the entire operation, but when it's over the
Factory's yours if you want it," Chris said. "Don't worry about the money,
I'm independently wealthy, and the team is made up of mercs. They go where
the work is. It's time to move on to bigger and better things." She leered
at Ian.

Jim rolled his eyes.

"Then it's really over," Valeria shook her head in disbelief. She took a
deep breath. "Wow."

"Good luck," Chris gave Valeria a quick hug, then turned to smile at Anita.
"Not that it hasn't been fun, but I hope I never see you again. I've been
following your life ever since Sigmund came into it, and frankly, you scare
me."

Anita blinked in surprise.

"See ya 'round," Jim said. "Gotta go throw Stephen King off the best seller
list," he grinned and followed Chris down the walkway.

Ian helped the Supreme Leader of the Anti-Penguin Resistance Forces into the
backseat of the limo. Through the open door Valeria caught a glimpse of
champagne chilling in a silver bucket and a pile of white fluffy towels. The
Scot tossed a ring of keys to Jim. Then he cracked his knuckles, got into
the back with Chris and slammed the door shut.

Jim stood and stared at the keys in his hand for a moment, then sighed and
shook his head.  He shrugged in Valeria's direction and waved before getting
into the driver's seat.

Valeria watched the limo until it disappeared in the distance. "Well," she
said. "I guess that's that."

"What did she mean by that crack that I scare her?" Anita demanded. "I scare
people?"

"Only the sane ones," Valeria replied, grinning as the necromancer scowled
at her. "Hey! Lighten up, Blake!"

The door swooshed open behind them again and this time Christi stepped out,
followed by Forrester.

"Haven't seen you two for a few hours," George chuckled. "Feeling better,
Forrester?"

"Tons," the ex-assassin grinned. "How about you, Darlin'?" He slid his arm
casually around Christi's shoulder and this time she didn't flick it off.

"Nothing changes," Christi sighed. "I'd like to say that something smells
good out here," she added, sniffing the air, "but I talked to Fred, so I
know what's on that barbecue."

"Whaddya mean?" Anita narrowed her eyes and looked over at Fred as he handed
a steaming paper plate to the next eager cat in a long line of hungry
felines. "What's cooking?"

"Don't worry," Christi said. "I hear it tastes just like chicken."

"Sure," George said. "What else were they supposed to do with all those dead
peng..."

"George!" Valeria yelped pointing with her eyes in Anita's direction.
"utshay upyay about the oodfay."

"Oh yeah!" George cringed. "Speaking of, I better get in that line before
those cats eat everything. I'm gonna enjoy this," he grinned.

The thrill of victory and the sheer joy of being alive ensured that the
party lasted well into the night. Four of the team members stumbled around
the grass, trying to keep a badminton birdie in the air without spilling
their beers. Once darkness had fallen a few of them had raided the armory
coming up with home made fireworks which they launched over the harbor, much
to Valeria's chagrin. The cat army played with each other and stalked the
area, hunting bugz. Anita's purple penguins partied hard, dancing to the
tunes and sneaking shots of tequila when the petite necromancer wasn't
looking. Anita herself had been quiet for most of the night. She seemed to
be waiting for something.

Somewhere around midnight, the first of what turned out to be two somethings
finally showed up.

Headlights streamed up the darkened driveway and a black, late model Mustang
pulled to a crunching stop on the gravel. Edward and Larry got out, looking
ragged and tired.

Anita shot to her feet and crossed her arms over her chest, tapping one foot
rapidly in annoyance. "And where the hell have you two been?"

"We decided to do a little sightseeing," Edward said defensively. "What's
wrong? We miss anything?"

"Miss anything..!" Anita sputtered. "Just almost the end of the world!" She
stormed up to Larry, who swayed drunkenly on the pathway. "What's wrong with
him?" She demanded, looking up at Edward with angry eyes. "He looks drunk.
What's this shirt he's wearing? What's a Zanzibar?"

Valeria started laughing. "You took that kid to a strip joint? That's your
idea of sight seeing?"

"Not just the Zanzibar," Edward said in mock defense. "We saw lots of
sights. I seem to remember some place called the Brass Rail, and another
called Cheaters and then there was Filmore's, and...."

"I get the picture," Anita glowered. She turned to Larry. "I hope you're not
gonna expect me to cover for you when Tammy asks what you did while you were
away."

"Who's Tammy?" Larry slurred.

Anita sighed. Edward's eyes traveled past her to his twin brother, who
remained seated next to Christi.

"Winston," he said. "Where's the dress? You finally decide to stop being a
loser?"

"I beg your pardon?" Christi asked, jumping to Forrester's defense. "You
kill sentient creatures for a living. You think that this makes you a better
person? Winston may not be good at killing people, but he's good at lots of
other things. He just doesn't know that yet. He's been spending his life
trying to live up to your cold hearted standards because he loves you. Why
don't you try showing a little compassion, and respect him for his
individuality? You're not perfect either."

"Yes I am," Edward said with deadly calm. "I'm a professional, and I'm
damned good at what I do."

"Obviously not that good," Valeria muttered. She was looking down the
pathway at a second limousine that had somehow managed to glide up the
gravel driveway without being heard. Jean-Claude, Master of St. Louis, and a
second man, whom Valeria was willing to put money on was Richard Zeeman,
stepped out and proceeded to make their way towards the group.

Anita stood stock still, watching them with wary eyes. "This moment had to
come sooner or later," she muttered.

"Hey!" Larry slurred, "Jean-Claude and Richard look pretty damn good fer
dead guys huh 'nita?" He hiccuped.

"B-b-b-ut, I'm a professional. I never miss!" Edward stuttered. He pointed
at the Master of St.Louis. "You're supposed to be dead," he added with
disgust.

Winston came up behind his brother and smacked a hand on his shoulder.
"Undead," he whispered into his ear. "I think the word is undead. But don't
worry bro. I won't tell Mom." Then he started laughing.

"Well, ma petite," Jean-Claude said when he and Richard had reached her.
"Are you not happy to see us?" His voice was like the touch of satin on bare
skin. It also held a note of challenge.

Anita crossed her arms over her chest and stared at both men, her eyes
brimming with tears. Instead of running to them, she held her ground.
Business first.

"You know about Sigmund," she said, a slight waver in her voice. "You know
about all of it. You hid the fact that you were alive from me because of
it."

"Not exactly, but very close, ma petite," Jean-Claude said. "We know now
that you did what you thought was best, and had no intention of harming us.
But, at the time, we felt that we could not trust you since you had allowed
Sigmund to severely damage our link and place his own marks on you."

"Jean-Claude heard a rumour that someone had taken a contract out on us,"
Richard said. "He suggested that we both go into hiding, but what he didn't
tell me was that he sent two shape shifters to the stadium in our place as
our doubles. They never knew what hit them." He swallowed hard and ran a
hand through his hair. "Then, after they'd been killed, we had to stay
hidden until we found out who'd hired the assassin."

Anita blinked away tears and forced herself not to look at Edward.

"At first, when we found out it was Sigmund," Richard continued. "We thought
that maybe you'd turned against us completely. We hadn't been able to feel
your presence until yesterday when you were in trouble. When we'd found
Sigmund dead, the pieces started coming together." He looked at her sadly.
"We tried to get to you as soon as we could. Jean-Claude says that not only
were the broken links making it hard for us to help you, but you were trying
to keep us out as well. Anita, why?"

"It's a long story," Anita replied carefully. "I'm beginning to suspect that
every time I borrow your powers I lose control over my own. Then, when I
need them, they're not there for me."

"We have a lot to discuss," Jean-Claude said. "But now is not the time for
it. I would like to be away from these lands as soon as possible. My very
existence here puts me at great risk."

"But you plan to help the Toronto clan change all that," Valeria said,
avoiding his eyes. "Isn't that true?"

"Indeed," Jean-Claude replied, "but a tragic incident seems to have thrown
them into turmoil. Much must be done among them before we can approach the
government to begin negotiations."

"Wait." Anita's eyes grew wide. "They had humans locked away in a dungeon. I
made the Master promise that he'd free them, but he's dead now. They're
probably still in there. We have to help them!"

"Be calm, ma petite," Jean-Claude said. "The humans are free. I found this
out from the new Master of the City. His name is Callidus."

"Callidus isn't dead?" Anita asked.

"Both he and his brother survived," Jean-Claude smiled. "I have known those
two for many, many years. They have survived all manner of trials. Lucifer
escaped the wrath of the penguin Empress unscathed, but Callidus was badly
injured. He lies now in his coffin beneath the city, healing. He will do so
for days."

"And the humans?" Anita prompted.

"Ah yes. The humans," Jean-Claude said, nodding with a hint of amusement.
"Well, it seems that one of them managed to acquire a strange weapon that
had been left behind by a certain young necromancer who's name I shall fail
to mention. They used it burn the door of their prison off its hinges and
then went on a rampage through the caverns killing vampires as they lay in
their coffins. The size of the Clan has been substantially reduced, but in
many ways it is for the best. There were many, how you say, bad apples to
begin with. Now Callidus can start afresh with a younger clan."

"YES!" Anita grinned. "Perfect."

"I have a feeling that you've got a lot to tell us about the last
twenty-four hours, not to mention the last several weeks," Richard said.
"Maybe we should get going. There's a plane waiting for us at the airport."
He held out his arms, looking strong and warm and hunky in a soft sweater
and tight, faded blue jeans. Anita rushed to him. She kissed him long and
deeply as she hugged him.

She then she pulled away and turned to Jean-Claude.

The Master of St. Louis stood looking at her solemnly with his vivid blue
eyes. His midnight black hair tumbled in waves to his shoulders. It lay in
stark contrast to the crisp whiteness of his lacy shirt that hung open wide
enough to reveal the smooth cross shaped scar on his chest. He wore skin
tight black jeans and high shiny boots and looked good enough to eat.

He held out his arms. "Do I not get a hug as well, ma petite?" he asked. His
lips curled up seductively, but the need in his eyes was suddenly very
clear. Anita wrapped her arms around him and molded herself against his body
before pulling his head down for a devastating kiss.

"You're still a pain in the ass," she said after their lips parted. "But I'm
glad you're not dead."

Jean-Claude raised his eyebrows in silent amusement.

Richard made an unhappy sound behind them. "I, uh, think we should be
going." He turned and began walking quickly to the limo.

Valeria stared at the two men and brought a hand to her forehead.  "I gotta
hand it to you, Blake. Nothing that good ever happens to me."

"It's not always as good as you think," Anita replied.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Valeria said, grinning. She held out her hand. Well,
I guess this is it. What a long strange trip it's been, huh?"

"Yeah, it's been a slice," Anita said. "Look me up if you're ever in
St.Louis. I'm in the book." The petite necromancer glanced down at the glass
of iced tea in Valeria's hand and smiled. "I think you're gonna be okay,
Orbus."

"You know it," Valeria replied, returning the smile.

The two women hugged and then Christi and Forrester said their good-byes to
Anita.

"Shall we go, ma petite?" Jean Claude asked, holding out his hand.

"Wait!" Anita said. "I, uh, made a few new friends while I was here. They're
sort of like family now. They're my best defense against the munin and
they're coming with us so they can live with me. I just hope there's enough
room in the limo."

"Whatever your heart desires, ma petite," Jean-Claude said bowing.

"Good," Anita said and stuck two fingers in her mouth. In response to her
shrill whistle her purple penguins came waddling madly, looking ready to
follow their mistress to hell and back if need be.

Impossible numbers of them stampeded towards the open door of the limo and
began to pile in, squawking loudly. This continued for quite some time until
the last penguin had jumped in. The sun roof popped open on top of the car
and Norman's tiny head appeared.

"Mon dieu," Jean-Claude said, staring in amazement.

"Yeah," Anita grinned. "And don't worry about the carpet. I'm sure anything
they do on it can be cleaned up."

"It's not them he's gotta worry about," Larry slurred and burped. "It's me.
I think I'm gonna be sick."

"You're a big boy," Anita said. "You can hold on till we get to the airport,
can't you?"

Larry didn't look convinced as she shoved him in the direction of the
bulging limo.

"In the middle ages they would have called this torture," Jean-Claude
mumbled.

Anita started down the pathway with Jean-Claude gliding imposingly beside
her. She paused and turned back one final time. "Anyone seen Edward? He was
here a moment ago."

"He made like the wind the moment he realized he wasn't perfect," Christi
said. "I'm pretty sure he knows it's just not smart to hang around with a
Master Vampire and Alpha Werewolf who you've messed up a hit on. You'll see
him again."

The young necromancer nodded and shrugged. "I guess he won't be needing his
brand new black Mustang convertible then huh?" She said to Forrester.
"You're his brother. Why don't you hold onto it for him?"

Anita waved again and then headed to the waiting Limo. Moments later, as it
pulled onto the main street, the penguins had already rolled down the
windows and were hanging out, squawking loudly and blowing raspberries at
the oncoming traffic. Valeria shook her head and chuckled, picturing the
look on Jean-Claude's face.

Forrester grinned broadly. "Y'know, I just might keep a hold of that car for
Edward. Brothers make these kind of sacrifices for each other."

"Besides," Christi said. "Starting tomorrow we're taking those cats back to
their owners. They came from all over the continent. That's a lot of
mileage." She smiled. "And maybe afterwards, since the war's over, we'll
just travel around and get to know each other. That could be fun in a brand
new convertible. See Winston? Your brother loves you after all. What a nice
gift."

"You know what, darlin'?" Winston said, putting his arms around her. "You're
a nice gift too."

"Winston!" Christi breathed.

"Awwwww geez!" Valeria cringed. "Will you two get a room or something!"

"Definitely a plan," Winston said, and he and Christi disappeared into the
factory.

Valeria suddenly found herself alone on the front steps. Fatigue had finally
claimed the members of Team Toronto and the party was over. All was quiet
now inside the factory.

She took a deep breath of the chilly early morning air and sat a moment
longer in the darkness, wondering if Crowley's wife had believed the story
he had to tell her when he got home. She thought of Dumass, now resting
quietly in the hospital after having repeatedly denied everything he knew
about the penguin mating process until the nurses had been forced to give
him a sedative.

Chuckling to herself she stepped inside the main entrance to the factory and
locked the doors before taking the elevator to the top floor. Then she
slowly climbed up the winding, wrought iron staircase to her loft apartment.

She began shedding clothes the moment the door shut behind her, moaning with
the luxury of getting out of the torn, filthy things. Before even thinking
about a hot bath she decided to check her email.

Wrapping herself in her favorite ratty old kimono, she sat down in front of
her computer and logged onto Hotmail(tm), tapping her fingers on the table
while waiting for the page to load.

When it did, she froze, staring at the glowing screen. Hundreds of new
messages flooded her account, all from the same unidentified sender.

The subject line on all of them read: URGENTLY NEED YOUR HELP. ALIEN HYBRID
CHIHUAHUAS WALK AMONG US. TACO BELL COMMERCIALS ARE ALL THE PROOF YOU NEED.

Finger hovering over the left-click button of her mouse, Valeria debated
whether to read the messages or send them to cyber-hell by pressing delete. It
had been a long, exhausting 24 hours. She'd been beaten, shot at, almost
poisoned, nearly eaten by hundreds of ravenous baby purple penguins and held
prisoner by a madman who had wanted to reprogram her mind. She'd watched the
dead rise and had run for her life to escape a ticking bomb. Starting
tomorrow, she had a ton of official people to answer to concerning the
damage to Cathedral Tower and the several surrounding city blocks.

Her life, since joining the secret anti-penguin rebellion, hadn't been easy,
but in the end, thanks in part to her own small contribution, the world had
not been taken over by an invading force of penguins. Humanity had remained
free to screw things up of their own free will.

Of course, if she ignored the messages on the screen in front of her she
could always go back to her comfortable old life. Maybe she could take a
nice, quiet temp job answering phones and pushing paper around a desk in a
corporate bureaucracy somewhere. Maybe she could try waitressing for a
change...

Valeria suddenly decided that taking a small peek wouldn't hurt.

THE END...(?)

*************************************** DEDICATIONS: To LAURELL K. HAMILTON - for giving us the Anitaverse. To good friends Chris Ely and Christi Morgret. Christi, without you and the Inner English Teacher there would have been no PENGUIN$. It's that simple. You let me live, even after I made your character kiss Winston. Now *that's* friendship. ;) To Jaina - PENGUIN$ biggest fan - who probably would have been more than willing to kiss Winston. ;D To Mina - for not complaining about the tattoos or purple hair, though how JC will react when she shows up to work at the Guilty Pleasures holy item check counter is another issue all together ;D To everyone who beta read for me and offered helpful suggestions, and anyone else I may have missed here: THANK YOU! I welcome anyone who reads this to search for YAPIs (Yet Another PENGUIN$ Inconsistency). Whoever finds the most, wins the chance to come to Toronto, at their own expense, and kick my @ss, as well as a years supply of Rice-A-Roni and Turtle Wax. (JUST KIDDING!)

Th-th-th-that's all folks! Thanks for reading!

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