The Notables Noir: "Cell Block Tango"

ANNOUNCER:
And now the six merry murderesses of the Cook County Jail in their
rendition of the "Cell Block Tango."

All:
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it

Liz (spoken):
You know how people
have these little habits that
get you down. Like Bernie.
Bernie liked to chew gum.
No, not chew. Pop.
came home this one day and
I am really irritated, and
looking for a little sympathy
and there's Bernie layin' on
the couch, drinkin' a beer and
chewin'. No, not chewin'.
Poppin'. So, I said to him, I
said, "Bernie, you pop that
gum one more time..."
And he did!

Girls:
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself
to blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!

Liz:
So I took the shotgun off the wall
and fired two warning shots...
...into his head.

All:
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!

Annie:
I met Ezekiel Young from
Salt Lake city about two years ago
and he told me he was single
and we hit it off right away.
So, we started living together.
He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd
mix him a drink, We'd have dinner.
Well, it was like heaven in
two and a half rooms.
And then I found out,
"Single" he told me?
Single, my ass. Not only was he married
...oh, no, he had six wives.
One of those Mormons, you know. So that
night, when he came home, I mixed him
his drink as usual.

Liz, Annie, June, Mona:
Hah! He had it coming
He had it coming
He took a flower
In its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
But not a crime!

Velma & Hunyak:
Pop, six,
squish, uh-uh
Cicero, Lipschitz

June:
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
carvin' up the chicken for dinner,
minding my own business,
and in storms my husband Wilbur,
in a jealous rage.
"You been screwin' the milkman,"
he says. He was crazy
and he kept screamin',
"you been screwin the milkman."

Girls:
Pop,Six,
Squish,Uh-uh,
Cicero,Lipschitz
Pop, Six,
Squish,Uh-uh,
Cicero,Lipschitz
Pop,Six,
Squish,Uh-uh,
Cicero,Lipschitz

June:
And then he ran into my knife! He ran into my knife TEN TIMES!

All:
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

Hunyak:
Mit keresek, én itt? Azt mondják,
hogy a híres lakem lefogta a férjemet én meg lecsaptam a fejét. De nem igaz, én ártatlan vagyok. Nem tudom miért mondja
Uncle Sam, hogy én tettem. Probáltam a rendőrségen megmagyarázni de nem értették meg...

(translation):
What I am doing here? They say,
that the famous lakem kept down my husband and I stoke off his head. But this is not true, I am guiltless. I
don't know why Uncle Sam says that I did it. I tried to explain at the police station but they didn't understand
me...

Velma:
My sister, Veronica and
I did this double act
and my husband, Charlie,
used to travel round with us.
Now, for the last number in
our act, we did these 20 acrobatic
four,five...splits, spread eagles,
back flips,flip flops,
one right after the other.
Well, this one night we were in Cicero,
the three of us, sittin' up
in a hotel room, boozin' and
havin' a few laughs and
we ran out of ice.
So I went out to get some.
I come back, open the door
and there's Veronica and
Charlie doing Number Seventeen-
the spread eagle.

Velma:
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out.
I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was
washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead.

Girls:
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along.
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

Velma:
They had it coming,

They had it coming,

They had it coming

All along.

I didn't do it,

But if I'd done it

How could you tell me

That I was wrong?

Girls:

They had it coming

They had it coming

They took a flower

In its prime

And then they used it

And they abused it

It was a murder
But not a crime!

Mona:
I loved Alvin Lipschitz
more than I can possibly say.
He was a real artistic guy...
sensitive... a painter.
But he was troubled.
He was always trying
to find himself.
He'd go out every night
looking for himself
and on the way
he found Ruth,
Gladys,
Rosemary,
and Irving.

Mona:
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences.
He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead.

All:
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

Liz, Annie, Mona:
They had it comin',

They had it comin',

They had it comin'

All along;

'Cause if they used us

And they abused us

How could you tell us

That we were wrong?

Velma, June, Hunyak:

They had it comin',

They had it comin',

They had it comin'

All along

'Cause if they used us

And they abused us

How could you tell us

That we were wrong?

Velma, June, Hunyak:
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had
Himself
To blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha
You would
Have done
The same!

Liz: You pop that gum one more time!

Annie: Single my ass.

June: Ten times!

Hunyak: Miert csukott Uncle Sam bortonbe.

Velma: Number Seventeen - the spread eagle.

Mona: Artistic differences.

All:
I betcha you would have done the same!

ANNOUNCER:
And now, Ladies and Gentlemen - the Keeper of the Keys, the
Countess of the Clink, the Mistress of Murder's row - Matron
"Mama" Morton!

The Notables

"Notables Noir"

Cell Block Tango, from Chicago