The Pagan Heart
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September-October 2005 Issue
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Samhaine - Facing Fear
By Axiom
This Halloween I have been dealing with my children's questions about death and dying. Now, my kids (twins) are only three, so the question and answer sessions are a bit limited - and also a bit hard to deal with emotionally. How do you explain to a three-year-old what death means, and no, her Daddy isn't going to die anytime soon (hopefully)? I'm working on it - so far no nightmares, although their father has been variously compared to the mice our cat kills and the snails we've inadvertantly stepped on. Oh, and Simba's father in the Lion King (the last being my husband's preferred comparison I'm sure). I suppose the questions are a natural by-product of the season, although how I'm not sure. Do my kids somehow suck in the knowledge that dead people is what it's all about? Because they were questioning before I'd had the chance to raise the topic. Still, it's certainly a good time to be talking death, being the season and all. Just not what I'd expected in my daydreams of costumes and trick or treating. From these discussions - due in part to questions about why Daddy wants to be a vampire, and what exactly is a vampire anyway, and other such technical talks - I began to face some things about Halloween I hadn't really considered before. The 31st is all about candy and the chills and thrills. People decorate their yards with skeletons and zombies, display grotesque spiders and ghoulish creepy crawlies, dress-up as flesh-rending monsters - and all in the name of a fun-filled evening of handing out candy to costumed children. But why? Surely there's more to it than that? Oh course, I hear all the Wiccans and Celtic-pathers saying. It's the Night of the Dead, the New Year, Last Harvest...it's Samhaine, one of the eight Festivals of the year. Yes, I know all that - I know what Samhaine is, what we do to celebrate and what it means. But what interests me is the relationship between a night of honouring the ancestors and placating the fey folk and a night of celebrating fear and death and horror. Seriously, think about it. Whether you call it Samhain, Sowen, Halloween, or something else, there is a strong macabre aspect to this night that a large portion of the American population gets into in a big way. (And for that matter, why the Americans and not the other parts of the Western World?) This was a night to trick or treat. Dress up a bit fancy or odd and run around collecting goodies or commiting nasty pranks. How did this become so strongly focused upon horror? That's a pretty big leap. Not to mention the enjoyment so many non-Pagans get from a supposedly Pagan celebration. You don't see the same cross-faith participation in the Solstices, or Oimelc now, do you? Even May Day kind of sneaks by. But Halloween? It may be hard to ignore today, but it wasn't always like this - and it was the (mainly) Christian contingent who made it this way. So why? Me? I think it's to do with balance. The more focused America becomes upon youth, perfection, beauty, and wholesome goodness, the bigger Halloween gets. Not that one night balances out the scales. Far from it - which is why I think the country is exhibiting so much hubris right now. But Halloween has become the acceptable night to celebrate the ugly and the evil. To think about death. To face fears. Facing fears - such as a fear of dying. Of aging. Of becoming unattractive, or undesirable. Or conversely of being too sexual, desired only for appearances. Because there is a growing trend towards the slut and whore style costume among certain female groups. For those of us who try to live a balanced life, accepting death as a stage in existence - nothing more and nothing less - this night is a chance to play. When you don't see sin as part of human nature, and evil is often objective, you aren't living a life of lies and half truths. But for some that is how life works. Death is an enemy - only euphemisms such as "passed on" or "in a better place" are acceptable. Age is to be fought and defeated in servitude to a youthful ideal. And we are all inescapably evil, saved only through some perfect being's grace. In such a world the boogeymen are many and it gets increasingly harder to stuff them under the bed and in the closet. When they do spill out, they party hard. This Halloween I am facing some of my fears. A few are unintentional such as the party I went to where most the rooms of the house contained a multitude of spiders. Being a recovering arachnaphobe, that was an interesting experience to say the least. Others are ones I hadn't realsied I had - such as how to talk about death with my daughters in a realistic way that won't scar them for life. And there are the standard ones of insecurity, fear of failure, and so on. It's very liberating in a way - once I get past the fear of dealing with it all. |
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