The Pagan Heart
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July-August 2005 Issue
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The Shaman in the Trees, or Walking the Rough Path
By Silver Shaman
I am a Goddess Worshiper. My ways are derived directly for observation in nature and visions I have had over the years, plus age, experience, common sense and reading between the lines in formal courses on the subject. First, by luck, I was never made to go to church. My mother stayed in the Christian church when it split and Church of Christ emerged. It caused a rift between her and her mother, who went Church of Christ, that never healed. My dad was born Greek Orthodox, but was really a witch but did not know it, or at least did not show it. The only church services I ever knew him to attend were Unitarian Universalist. Recently I am hearing he was just a horn dog. Maybe hereditary, no? In elementary school (before the Civil Rights Act) we were forced to fill out a form about ethnicity and religion. In the first grade, I just picked something. In the second, I decided to make a stand. That was the year I got caught on the girl's playground and sent to the office. They wanted to know why I wanted to play with girls, because that was "unnatural". Right! Sure! Says I, why on earth would I want to play with boys? That one was good for a trip to the shrink for moi. When I filled out the Federal Demographic form the next year, I again refused to show church affiliation. They put me in detention for about a week trying to make me put down that I was a Christian, but to no avail. Finally they got around to calling my dad in and he confirmed I was not. I spent a lot of elementary school in the office on and off, where the old bats kept trying to bring me to Jesus. Most of my early years were spent outdoors. We lived in the country and there was no home air-conditioning in those days so outside it was. I was in the second or third grade before electricity reached us. I slept outside most of the time under the influence of the Goddess. You could see Her and the stars so well back then because the light pollution just did not exist. I had animals, both domestic and wild. Observation of the flora and fauna led me to many conclusions concerning the meaning of life. I was about ten before we had TV so I spent a lot of time at night just thinking. I could not see any evidence that some super being was running the show. What I did see was that the God rose every day and gave us light, warmth and energy, and the Goddess seemed to cruise the sky at will, giving us the tides. I became interested in ecology when I was about twelve. My teachers didn't even know what the term meant, so I read Rachael Carson and studied on my own. I decided that the sun charged the earth like a battery, and the moon created the tidal forces that created the weather. No moon, no life. The Goddess in her glory. No sun, no life. The God giving up his energy by day and dying at night, to be reborn in the morning. Logical. With the two working together, the earth became fertile. At that point I found the true religion of Nature, just as the prehistoric shamans had. I read monographs on demographics and found that most children were conceived around Ostara and also seeds were sewn then. Harvest was usually at Samhain and on and on....My path was emerging. All this was before I was in high school. Content that I had a handle on the true nature of the universe, I tried to spread the word, but was rebuffed at every corner, so I went solitary. I see things. I think we can travel through time and space in our minds. It is a subtle shift in the way the dimensions lay in sheets or layers in a parallel universe. Quantum physics supports this notion. The fuzzies call it Astral Projection. To me it is like tuning a radio, or a TV. It is not easy for me and can be very exhausting, but I think very real. As a student in archaeology I was drawn to the prehistoric cultures. I concluded that in general, these were but simple people in a harsh world who needed assurance life would go on. They were not warriors, but carried the tools to defend themselves when needed. I got the feeling they would harm none unless they were set upon. Pagans at their finest. I learned that these societies were most often matriarchal. After all, we always know who our mother is, so bloodlines naturally flow through the female. I opine that it is nature's (read the Goddess) way. This natural order has only been changed in the last couple of millennia by men in their quest to control property and power by subjugating women. Thank you, Paul, you mysoginstic prick! Women lost the matriarchal mind-set over the years of oppression by men who want to control their bodies so as to confirm lineage and property rights. Call it Machismo. Pure bullshit devised by the church to try and control the family lineages when patriarchal society was introduced. This gave birth to the ""Divine Right of Kings. Bullshit. In the quizzes, I often test out Wiccan, but I don't like labels. When asked, I'd have to say I'm an "olive-drab Shaman". Not as fixated as the Greens and more of a warrior, hence olive-drab. I have been happy without a coven. Covens smack of laws. We don't need no stinking laws! Politically I am an anarchist. I am a retired cop. I KNOW that if you harm none, you should be left in peace. If we all practiced that, there would be no problems. It just means you don't start a fight. Nothing says it's wrong to finish it though. Problem solved. No law needed. As to personal development, things I do, have done or am currently doing include: Police Criminal Investigator (retired), Commercial Pilot, Handgun Instructor, Private Investigator, TV newsman, newspaper journalist, aircraft inspector (for several airlines), soldier of fortune, bounty hunter, and civil rights activist. I don't have any hobbies to report. Every hobby I've had turned into a profession or a business. Music, flying, shooting, photography. mechanics, art, and even fishing, and the list of hobbies turned professions goes on. I suspect the only thing that comes close to a hobby now is "licking witches," but that is more of a religious experience! I believe that we create Magik. It is no mystery and it is quantifiable. Quite simply I believe it is a power we had as ancients and have lost with time. It was the power that led the hunter to the game, the breeders to mate and the farmer to plant the right crops. It is still with us, but the path is dim. I have a high degree of psychic ability. I think every successful criminalist has it but is too chicken to admit it. I'm not "fluffy" about it. I just use it. Given that I am of a scientific mind and a "show me" kind of guy, I have embraced that which has been proven to me to the point of absolute belief. This includes the use of visions and healing. Twice I have been the subject of what could be classified as miraculous cures. I don't insist of much ceremony, but certainly do not deny the value of ceremony for those who hold it dear.Being solitary for so many years, I was not exposed to much ceremony, but I did choose Beltaine as the time to come out of the broom closet. Great timing, thanks to a new best friend! Hey, is it Samhain yet???? |
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