Quotes To Make You Feel Smarter
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
"Most cars on our roads only have one occupant, usually the driver."
- Carol Malia, BBC anchorwoman
"The team has come along slow but fast."
- Casey Stengel, baseball player/manager
"China is a big coutry, inhabited by many Chinese."
- Charles de Gaulle, former French president
"Most lies about blondes are false."
- Cincinnati Times-Star, headline
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
- David Acfield
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
-Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
"When ever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
- Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
- Winston Bennet, University of Kentucky baseball forward
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
- A congressional candidate in Texas
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
- John Wayne
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
- Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Al Gore, Vice President
"The word genius isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Joe Theisman, NFL quarterback and sports analyst
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC instructor
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- Bill Clinton, president
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- Al Gore, Vice President
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
- Keppel Enderbery
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
- Department of Social Services, South Carolina
