Humourous Quotes
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement!
Death to all fanatics!
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Avoid clichés like the plague.
Prejudiced people are all alike.
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Always avoid alliteration.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
May your life be like toilet paper... Long and useful.
Death is a once in a lifetime experience.
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
Life is a razor, you are always in hot water or a scrape.
My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there.
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
