Things To Do To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
Sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
Specify that your drive through order is to go.
Five days in advance, tell your friend that you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
At the bottom of an escalator, scream "My shoelaces! AAAH!"
At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on guinea pigs and if they have much meat on them.
Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are leak proof.
Show people your driver's license and demand to know whether they've seen this person.
In An Elevator...
Stare at another passenger for a while and then say "You're one of them!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body".
Start hacking and coughing in a crowded elevator and say "Damn this flu virus".
Go through your backpack yelling "Where's my pet rat?"
In A Final Exam...
As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
Fifteen minutes into the exam, rip up all the papers into small pieces and throw them into the air yelling "Merry Christmas!". Then ask for another copy of the exam, saying you lost the first one.
Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
Refuse to answer any of the questions on the grounds that it conflicts with your religious beliefs.
In Kmart...
Put M&M's on layby.
Walk up to a store employee and say in an official tone "We've got a Code 3 in homeware."
