Your Mumma's So Fat...

Your mumma’s so fat,

she buys her dresses from a parachute shop!

Your mumma’s so fat,

she has more pounds than a bank.

Your mumma’s so fat,

she stepped off a curb, a bus hit her and she turned around and said “Stop pushing!”.

Your mumma’s so fat,

she stepped off the curb and I swerved my car around her and ran out of gas.

 
Your mumma’s so fat,

she stepped on the scales and it said “to be continued”.

Your mumma’s so fat,

when she goes to the beach, whales come out and sing “we are family”.

Your mumma’s so fat,

not even God can lift her spirits.

Your mumma's so fat,
when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials.

Your mumma's so fat,
when she steps on the scales it says “one at a time please”.

Your mumma's so fat,
when she goes to a restaurant she gets an estimate.

Your mumma's so fat,
she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

Your mumma's so fat,
she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.

Your mumma's so fat,
she can lay down or stand up and her height doesn't change.

Your mumma's so fat,
all the restaurants in town have signs that say: “Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Your Mumma”.

Your mumma's so fat,
when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Your mumma's so fat,
when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

Your mumma's so fat,
a picture of her fell off the wall!

Your mumma's so fat,
her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.