This is something a little different from the other
crossovers you've no doubt seen. I've tried to catch the spirit
of both worlds without making it too much like one or the other.
Despite the names shared by these characters with their
originals, the characters may not necessarily act the way their
namesakes would. Keep it in mind. I've tried to make it a bit
more mature, but still keeping a bit of absurdity to keep things
interesting. Also keep in mind that there are quite a number of
cameos from various sources. Spot them all and win a prize! (Not
cash, sorry...) Please send C&C and any suggestions on the story
to ebon@i-manila.com.ph.
Standard fanfic disclaimer averring that all characters,
situations, places and events with even a vague resemblance to
the work of Rumiko Takahashi, Fujishima Kosuke's, CLAMP, whoever
did Koko wa Greenwood or any one of a number of works, probably
was borrowed in the first place. Apologies to all. Rights are
to whoever owns them. Don't bother to sue, though. I'm broke.
PART II: Of New Loves and Old Friends
Ranma was in a lousy mood and the weather was mirroring
his sentiments. It was raining hard out there. He had been using
the phone at Ucchan's for the better part of an hour now. It
was a cozy, little, okonomiyaki restaurant. The food was
good and reasonably priced, but eating here always reminded
him of an old friend of his from high school for some reason,
so he rarely went here. They were here because it was the only
place still open in the vicinity. It's at times like this when
you find out who your real friends are, he thought to himself.
It was already past midnight and he still didn't have a place to
stay.
None of his friends had any room for him and two women.
Mostly it would be either just for him (from his female
acquaintances) or for the women (the offers coming from his male
friends) but not all three of them.
The continuous dull patter of rain on the restaurant's roof
was starting to lull Ranma to sleep. He was exhausted and
homeless. This was a truly lousy way to end a day... He glanced
at his two companions to make sure they were doing okay.
Ranko was sitting contentedly at one booth nursing a hot
chocolate whose contents had already taken time to congeal at the
bottom of the mug. Akane on the other hand looked as miserable as
he felt, sipping her tea. He wished that he could be with her for
the rest of time... or so she'd said. That in and of itself
wasn't that bad. Ranma found that he rather liked her... even if
they'd only met a few hours ago and she had a tendency to get
very violent. But what did you expect from the goddess of
Conflicts? Unfortunately, Ranko and a weird proximity triggered
sex change curse had somehow gotten into the deal as well.
He cradled the receiver and took out his phone card. He
walked back to their booth, where he sat down next to Akane, as
far as possible from Ranko and said, "That's it... nothing."
Ranko shrugged and took another drink out of her almost
treacle like chocolate.
"So what do we do now?" asked Akane. She hated to admit it,
but she was getting scared. She had never had to deal with
anything like this before. She felt way out of her league. Her
duties used to include only weather patterns and competition for
food by wild animals... She wasn't used to dealing with people on
a one on one basis. In the old days the extent of her dealings
with humans only included getting them wet on schedule. The lousy
weather was actually her fault. She tended to echo her sentiments
to the sky... and right now she felt like crying.
"Don't worry. Something will turn up eventually," said
Ranko airily, "This is just a temporary aberration."
Ranma's hand slammed down on the table, "Ranko, what are
you talking about? I don't have a place to live thanks to you and
you call it a `temporary aberration'!?"
"It's not a problem. If something threatens to invalidate
the contract, that is, something threatens to separate either of
us from you, the `Ultimate Force' will come into play and help
facilitate things and prevent contract breach. You'll see... "
Ranko said with a shrug of her smooth shoulders.
"What are you babbling about?!" asked Ranma.
Akane threw a frown in Ranko's direction, "It's what I
meant when I told you bad things would happen if you tried to get
rid of either of us. What she means is that there is a force
which seeks to make sure that all contracts with our office are
enforced. She probably thinks that since not having a home will
make us want to leave you... the Ultimate Force will come into
play and grant us a place to live..." she snapped her fingers,
"Just like that."
"Bingo, hammer girl. You hit the nail right on the
head... so to speak."
"Quit calling me hammer girl, you imbecile!"
"Will the both of you calm down?!" hissed Ranma at the
two, "We already got kicked out of the Nekohanten by the old
ghoul because you two started fighting."
"Ahhh... what do you know, anyway?" said Ranko with
a dismissive gesture.
Akane smirked, "Ranko... remember the specs for the
Ultimate Force?"
"Sure I do... I've been serving the Goddess Relief
Office longer than you have, you know."
"Do you remember what the response time is supposed to be?"
"Yeah..." Ranko suddenly stopped herself as she seemed
to realize something. Her face took on a look of
acute embarrassment.
"It's five minutes, give or take two minutes, right?"
Akane asked nastily.
"Er... yeah."
"Ranma's been looking for a place for us for a good
hour now, wouldn't you say?"
"Uh-huh..." continued Ranko, not liking where
the conversation was headed.
"Doesn't that tell you something?"
"Like I said... temporary aberration... some sort of system
error..." Ranko replied vaguely.
Akane stood up, "A temporary aberration would have been
spotted an hour ago! Something is definitely wrong with our
contracts if they're not getting enforced!"
"Akane, calm down. Please," shushed Ranma, pulling Akane
back down into her seat, "If I understand you correctly...
your... er... `office' should have helped us find a place to stay
by now?"
Akane and Ranko glared at each other but eventually both
nodded.
"So something has got to be wrong if we haven't found a
place yet? Or does it just mean that Akane won't necessarily
leave me if I don't find us someplace to live?"
The two goddesses exchanged looks of surprise... that was
a distinct possibility too.
"Hmm... does this mean the Ultimate Force will also try
to keep me from... er... breaking your heart? That would lead
to contract breach... right?"
Akane blushed slightly, "Um..."
"If you're planning on cheating on her, Saotome," said
Ranko, "Don't bother. I've seen people run smack dab against
the Ultimate Force. It's not a pretty sight."
Ranma gave Ranko a bewildered look. He sighed and thought
to himself, "Why did I have to be saddled with her? Why?"
He eventually said, "In any case, it looks like we'll
be sleeping in the van... at least for tonight."
"The van?!!?" roared Ranko, drawing herself to her
full height, which truth to tell wasn't particularly impressive,
"That piece of garbage?! I refuse to bruise my lovely young
body scrunched up in that awful little heap!"
"Ranko! Shut up! We don't have much of a choice, now do
we? I don't like the idea much either, but Ranma has no more
money and I don't want to sleep in some alley or on a park
bench!" replied Akane, also standing up.
Ranma made shushing gestures, but both goddesses
ignored him.
"Excuse me," said a voice approaching their table.
Ranma buried his face in his hands and muttered to
himself, "I don't need this aggravation..."
"What?!" asked the goddesses in unison, turning towards
the source of the voice.
The voice had come from the tall, handsome brunette with
long hair tied back into a neat ponytail. The person had just
removed an apron with the word, "UCCHAN'S" written on it. Under
the apron, was a shirt with a button down collar and blue jeans.
"I couldn't help but overhearing..."
"They could hear them all the way to China..."
muttered Ranma darkly. Akane pulled out her hammer and walloped
him on the head without looking.
"I'm closing up in a few minutes... If you folks
really don't have a place to stay... well, there's an extra room
in the back that has a couple of old futons. There should be
enough room for three people. If you want, I can let you stay for
the night."
"Thank you, kind sir," said Ranko fluttering her lashes
and smiling impishly at the manager, "Could you do us the honor
of telling us your name?"
The manager blushed and looked flustered, but
eventually managed to say, "Ukyou Kuonji. You can call me Ukyou.
I own this place, I could use some people to work here, too
if you're interested. We might be able to work out a deal for
you guys to live on the premises... "
Ranma's brow furrowed momentarily in recognition... the
name sounded oddly familiar...
Akane got a relieved look in her eye, and murmured
softly, "I guess, the Ultimate Force is working, after all..."
Ranma jumped up and bowed low, "Thanks, Ukyou, we
really appreciate it."
"Sure, no problem. I just couldn't let you people
go homeless. It isn't safe for the ladies out there, even with
you to protect them..." Ukyou said looking intently at Ranma,
"You are?"
"Ranma--"
"Ranko Tendo," she interrupted, bowing low enough to
show Ukyou a good deal of cleavage.
"Akane Tendo."
Ukyou's eyebrow raised a little, "Related?"
"Cousins," replied the two at the same time. They glared
at each other again.
"Well, just let me close up, then I'll show you the room."
"Sure. Thanks again," said Ranma, smiling, "If you
need anything... anything at all... I don't have much, but
I'll be glad to give it if you ask. We owe you for this."
"Well, you could start by helping me clean up,
afterwards though..." Ukyou smiled cattily at Ranma, "I'm sure
I'll think of something..."
The manager entered a broom closet and pulled out
some brooms and mops. Ukyou was feeling rather oddly
impulsive... inviting these people to live at Ucchan's without
even finding out who they were... but there was something about
that Ranma fellow which looked oddly familiar to Ukyou...
Ranma for some reason felt distinctly... worried.
Akane smiled at the exchange wordlessly. For no
discernible reason to her, she suddenly felt an odd surge of
jealousy. She shook her head to clear it. Surely she
couldn't be feeling jealous over the way this guy was staring
at Ranma, could she?
Ranko, while the same age as Akane, was decades ahead as
far as sophistication was concerned. She understood the look
Ukyou was giving Ranma immediately, but didn't feel
concerned at all. After all, this poor sap was going to have to
go up against the Ultimate Force to get anywhere with Ranma. That
wasn't bloody likely. She smiled to herself... it would be
interesting to watch though.
The clean up took less than half an hour and Ukyou led
them to the store room, helping them to lay out the futons.
"Well, I'll be turning in now," said Ukyou with a smile,
"I live on the second floor. If you need anything, just knock on
the door at the top of the stairs, and if anyone wants to take a
bath in the morning, it's the door on the landing. There are
spare towels in there, too."
"Thanks, Darling," said Ranko, cheerfully blowing
another kiss at Ukyou.
The manager took a last nervous glance at Ranko and
bowed out. After Ukyou had left, Akane shot Ranko a look of
disgust and said, "Honestly Ranko, you're a shameless flirt!"
"Hey, it was the least I could do... considering that
he's helping us out."
"But did you have to bend over like that every time he
came close?"
"I like to think of it as a partial repayment. Besides...
I don't think I'm the one he's interested in..." Ranko let
her statement hang.
"What do you mean?" Ranma asked smoothing down his futon.
"Weelllll... it's just that our benefactor was shooting
some rather sultry looks someone else's way..."
"Who?" asked Ranma not entirely in step with
matters innuendo wise, "He was looking at Akane?"
Akane blushed red, "No, he wasn't..!" she had obviously
picked up faster than Ranma did. "...er... he was... um..."
"Jeez, you're dense, Saotome," muttered Ranko as she
took off her outer coat.
"Oh yeah, one other thing, " she added, tagging Ranma on
the shoulder, "Just to make sure you don't try anything funny
while Akane and I are sleeping."
Ranma looked down at herself and tried to keep from
screaming again. This entire turning into a woman thing was
definitely going to take some getting used to.
"What do you mean `try anything funny'?!" asked Ranma,
now with a girl's voice.
"Funny as in lecherous or weird not funny ha ha, if you
must have me define it," Ranko replied with a smirk. She settled
into her futon and was snoring away within a matter of seconds.
"I am really starting to see why you don't like her
much, Akane," Ranma said.
"Oh, this is nothing... she was a lot worse when we
were kids."
Ranma merely nodded agreeably and said, "This is
definitely going to take some getting used too," she said,
looking herself over.
Akane took a look at Ranko and asked shyly, "Would you
like me to change you back?"
"Um... you don't have to," Ranma glanced at Ranko, with
a nervous smile, "Actually I think she might have a point..."
Akane blushed deeply and her expression had turned into
one of rage as she pulled out her hammer, "You wouldn't, dare!"
Ranma held out her hands defensively, "No! Of course not!
I was just kidding, okay?! It was a joke!"
"Oh..." said Akane, lowering the hammer. For some reason
she felt oddly disappointed. She hefted her weapon again, smiling
dangerously, "Well, why not? I'm not cute enough for you, is
that it?! Is that it?!!"
"Argh..! Put that thing down, Akane, I didn't
say that either! You are... er... That is..." Akane lowered it
again and
Ranma breathed a sigh of relief, "What I mean is... er...
we just met today. Besides, we're sharing the room with your
cousin... and... uh..."
Akane got a hold of herself slowly and managed to say
after a few moment's thought, "Its okay, Ranma, I'm kidding
too," she said unconvincingly, "But seriously, I mean it's no
problem if you're a guy with us," she paused and looked him
straight in the eye, "I trust you."
Ranma smiled at that, "That's nice to know, Akane..."
he coughed nervously and shot a glance at the other goddess,
"If you're sure its no problem..."
"Not at all, come over here," she said beckoning to
Ranma over Ranko's sleeping form.
Akane could have just tagged Ranma on the shoulder as
Ranko had done, but instead she impulsively placed her hand on
Ranma's cheek and watched the transformation. One moment, she was
taller than Ranma, the next he was towering over her. She let
her hand rest on his cheek for a while longer.
The two stood in silence for long seconds. Akane noticed
to her surprise that Ranma's face began to get warmer and a
little red for some reason. Ranma put his hand over hers and
eventually said with some embarrassment "I think you can put your
hand down, Akane-chan... We'd better turn in," he added
hurriedly.
"Er... sorry, I didn't realize. Sorry," replied Akane
also burning red with embarrassment. She certainly didn't miss
the fact that he had called her Akane-chan either.
So without any further word, Ranma and Akane lay down
to sleep. Akane was still trying to get used to how things were
in the human realm, but was certain that she was doing a good job
of adapting. She still had a lot to think about... especially
about Ranma.
Ranma was certain that he would have trouble
sleeping tonight, despite his exhaustion. Not only was there
his now rather mutable sexuality to consider and his current
homeless situation, but there was Akane as well... he was a man
of his word, he wouldn't try anything... but he certainly
couldn't stop himself from thinking about it.
Both were so busy covering up their embarrassment
and pretending to sleep that neither of them noticed that
Ranko's snores had stopped. A small frown was already forming on
Ranko's features... "So, that's how it is," she thought to
herself sleepily, mulling over the two's conversation, "I didn't
realize my tomboy cousin had a romantic bone in her body... Not
good. If she keeps this up, he'll never want to break her
contract... Akane and I'll be stuck down here forever..."
"No way. Not if I can help it" she muttered aloud
before drifting back to sleep.
Akane got up fairly early the next morning. She was
rather surprised to find the still snoozing Ranma, his face
under a pillow, was now back to being a female... Ranko had
disappeared as well, but Akane was sure she could hear
someone singing to the tune of a radio. Very bad singing. Her
curiosity piqued by this and certain that whatever had happened
it was all Ranko's fault, Akane stormed off to find her. Akane
moved up the stairs, to where the hideous singing was louder.
She eventually realized that Ranko had taken Ukyou's offer of a
bath. The door to the changing room was unlocked and she marched
through the divider without breaking stride.
"Alright, what were you trying to do last night?!"
she roared.
Sitting in the tub, Ranma looked at Akane with shock, cut
off in midnote. Akane was also no doubt shocked. Ranma quickly
ducked under the water to cover himself and replied, edging
towards the far end of the bath, "I didn't do anything!! I kept
as far away from both of you as possible!"
Akane, realizing what an error she had made quickly
averted her gaze and covered her eyes, "Oh God, I'm sorry
Ranma, I thought that was you still sleeping down there!"
"What are you talking about!?"
Ranko suddenly appeared behind Akane leering openly at
Ranma, "Yeah, right Akane... you were just looking for an
excuse to burst in on Ranma naked..."
"But I thought that was him downstairs..!" Akane angrily
replied turning on Ranko. She stared as she realized what had
caused her mistake. Ranko's braid was now as short as Ranma's and
she was wearing a tank-top and Chinese pants similar to what
Ranma was wearing last night.
Ranko noticed her staring and gave her head a quick
shake, causing the rest of her braid to unfold from wherever
she'd hidden it. She smiled at Akane. "What a pair you two
are! An exhibitionist and a voyeur!" she shouted as she dashed
out the door, "Enjoy the show, Akane!"
With a puff of smoke Ranko had transformed into a six
inch version of herself, with stocky body dimensions and a
much larger head in proportion to the rest of her body. She
looked a lot like a superdeformed doll version of herself. She
slid down the banister and was already looking for a good
hiding place.
"Sorry, about that, Ranma..." said Akane meekly as
she stepped out and closed the door. Outside she roared at the
top of her voice, "Ranko!! Get back here!!!" In the distance,
thunder rolled, echoing her sentiments.
In the tub Ranma buried his face in his hands and
muttered to himself, "What did I do to deserve this?"
Upstairs, what with all the noise, Ukyou was starting
to wonder if it was really a good idea to have invited those
people to stay the night. They seemed like nice enough people
at the time. And that Ranma reminded Ukyou of an old friend back
in high school. "So handsome..." the manager sighed and
opened the apartment's front door. She shook her head Akane was
on the lower landing, obviously searching for something.
"Tendo-san, Good morning. Did you sleep well?"
Noticing Ukyou at the top of the stairs, "Oh... er...
Good morning. Yes, Kuonji-san, thank you."
Ukyou looked at her and saw how tense and alert she
was, "Akane? Is something wrong?"
Akane still looked distracted, as though she'd just heard
a sound but now wasn't sure. "Um... No... nothing at all.
"Is anyone in the bath, then?" asked Ukyou.
Akane's head suddenly snapped to base of the stairs where
a small doll appeared to be hiding. Ukyou gave the doll a
perplexed glance as it winked back at the manager.
"Ranko..." Akane growled, totally focused on her prey
and ignoring all distractions, "Excuse me a minute, Ukyou..."
she said as she bounded down the stairs after the now
retreating doll, her hammer up and ready.
Ukyou was utterly confused now. With a shrug,
Ukyou proceeded to the bath... little realizing that Akane had
not even heard the question.
The manager knocked on the bath door and said, "It's
Ukyou, mind if I join you?"
Inside, Ranma said, "Sure come on in... I'm nearly
done anyway,"
It was his bath anyway, Ranma added to himself.
Ukyou entered the bath's changing room and stripped
down, taking extra care while removing the chest bindings. "It
did seem odd though," Ukyou noted, "Ranko's voice seemed a lot
deeper than it did last night..." she shrugged it off and
slid open the divider.
Ranma stood up and was about to step out of the tub when
the divider opened again... and time stopped. Standing just
outside was a tall, attractive woman with handsome features. She
had a smile, a small towel over one shoulder and that was about
all she was wearing. She was two up on Saotome though... his
towel was across the room and he wasn't smiling. It took a few
moments for the shock to wear off, but when it did...
"Who are you?!"
"You're not Ranko!!"
Both screamed simultaneously. Ranma ducked back into
the water for the sake of modesty and the girl did her best to
cover herself with the little towel. It wasn't doing a
particularly good job... Ranma was getting dangerously clear
views of what the girl was trying to hide. She didn't like
that...
Ranko and Akane heard the shouting and quickly rushed up
to investigate.
"Ranma! What's wrong?" said Akane, concerned as she
hurried into the bathroom.
The little doll Ranko bounced in a few moments later
and transformed into her normal form in another puff of smoke,
"Now what?" she asked, annoyed. Their expressions suddenly
changed as they got a better look at the situation. Ranko's
expression turned to amusement and Akane's had turned into one of
shock.
Ranma was out cold in the tub, face down with a stream
of bubbles coming from his mouth. The girl had a towel rack in
one hand which she had obviously torn off from one of the walls
and was using her other hand to hold up her towel.
The girl turned her back to Saotome and said furiously
to Akane, pointing at her with the towel rack, "I thought you
said Ranko was in here!"
"When did I do that? Who are you?" asked Akane.
"I'm Ukyou!"
"But Ukyou's a guy!" Akane replied.
"That's not the issue, here!"
"Ranko! What did you do to Ukyou?!" said Akane turning
on her cousin, now certain Ranko had done something horrible,
after all... wasn't it her fault that Ranma turned into a girl?
"What do you mean what did I do?" asked Ranko,
genuinely hurt.
Ranma made a series of choking noises and finally managed
to revive enough to lift his head out of the water, "What did
you do that for?" he asked groggily, trying to look around. His
eyes finally focused on something nearby...
Akane felt relieved as she noticed Ranma's head finally
coming up, but he still looked a bit dazed. His head swiveled
around until finally his eyes seemed to lock, almost by
accident on Ukyou...
Ukyou heard Ranma revive and realized belatedly that
her little towel was only large enough to cover her front. And
Ranma was behind her.
Several things happened simultaneously. Ranma realized
what precisely he was looking at and quickly averted his gaze.
Akane, realizing what Ranma was looking at, brought out her
hammer.
Ukyou realizing that her bottom did feel a little drafty,
dropped her weapon, covered herself with her hand and
quickly spun around. Ranko started giggling.
"Ranma, you pervert!!" said Akane bringing her hammer up
to punish him.
"I didn't see anything!! I didn't see anything!! Honest!"
Ranma pleaded as he was hammered into the wall beside the tub.
His eyes firmly shut the whole time to make sure that he really
didn't see anything.
"Stop that!!" said Ukyou, no one was precisely certain
if she meant the hammering or Ranma's staring, not even her.
Ranma found himself embedded in the tiles again and
managed to croak out, "What have I done to deserve this?" before
passing out.
"I can't believe I trusted him, the creep," Akane
muttered to herself.
Ranko leaned against the frame of the door, "But,
Akane... this was all your fault. You told Ukyou that I was in
the bath when you knew that it was Ranma in there all along..."
Ukyou turned on Akane in a fury once more, "You mean
you were helping this lecher!?"
"No I am not helping him and no I didn't tell Ukyou
that Ranko was in the bathroom!"
"Yes you did," Ranko continued, "You were still trying
to hammer me on the stairs and he..." she said pointing at the
girl, who frowned, "Er... she was trying to talk to you. You
weren't paying attention."
"Are we sure that's Ukyou?" asked Akane.
"I'm going to get dressed and we are all going to have
a long discussion about this downstairs," Ukyou said in a
voice that would brook no argument, "Somebody put some clothes on
him and drag him down, too... I want to talk to him."
Ranko's face had a crooked grin as she looked down
on Ranma's unconscious form, "You know, Saotome... you've sure
got some way with women."
"`Saotome?'" said Ukyou, as she buttoned her top, not
bothering with the chest bindings which would have taken too
long, "Why did you just call him Saotome?"
Ranko frowned, "It's his name. Ranma Saotome."
"Saotome? I thought he said his name was Ranma Tendo?"
"Why would he be named Tendo?"
"I thought you said you were his cousins?" said Ukyou.
Akane offered, "Ranko and I are cousins. Ranma's just
a... er..."
"Her boyfriend." Ranko said in her silky voice.
"He is not!" said Akane, with surprising vehemence.
Ukyou blinked at the two in confusion... as she turned her
attention to the mildly bruised and unconscious Ranma.
"Oh, yeah..." said Ranko, sounding thoughtful, "He said
he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you... It wasn't
what he said precisely, but that's what he meant. You're right...
you two are more like betrothed than boyfriend-girlfriend," she
added, smiling.
"That's not it either! He wanted--" Akane tried to
answer, desperately embarrassed.
"He wanted you, hammer girl." said Ranko with
finality, jabbing a finger in Akane's direction.
Akane wanted to shove her hammer down Ranko's throat, but
at the same time she rather liked the thought of Ranma
wanting her... somehow. Blushing red, she walloped Ranko into the
floor, "Just shut up, Ranko! You're stuck to him too!"
As Ranko picked herself up Ukyou, who had been
gazing intently at Ranma and utterly oblivious of Ranko and
Akane's exchange, asked again, "You two are sure his name's
Ranma Saotome?"
"Yes... why do you ask?" the two goddesses asked
simultaneously.
She brought her face on level with Ranma's, "Well... I
think he's a friend of mine from high school."
"He is?!" asked the two goddesses at the same time. They
glared at each other as they both said, "Stop that!"
Ranma, who had finally recovered enough to open his
eyes, blinked a couple of times desperately trying to get his
brain restarted. The first thing he noticed was that there was a
girl peering very closely at his face. That wasn't so bad, since
that sort of thing had happened to him many times before, but it
wasn't something he was comfortable with... The second thing he
noticed was that her face was only a few inches away from his
own... uncomfortably close... The third thing he noticed was that
her eyes were very beautiful...
He blinked a couple more times, allowing his eyes to focus
on her properly and backing off a little to see her better, when
he finally realized who it was and said, "Is that you,
Ucchan?" Amazing what two blows to the head can do to jog your
memory. She was a very good friend from high school... they'd
been close, but drifted apart when they went off to college...
last he'd heard... she was planning on marrying some guy she'd
met in Kyoto...
Ukyou was startled but recovered quickly enough to hug him
and say, "It is you Ranchan! I'm so happy! It's been so long!
Stay as long as you like!" said Ukyou, who was feeling like a
giddy teenager all over again, "Your friends can stay too if they
want! It's so good to see you!!"
"Wait, slow down," said Ranma still half dazed, "It's
great to see you too, Ucchan, but who was the guy we met last
night? Your husband?"
Ukyou's smile faltered for the briefest of instants
before it was back, she hit him playfully on the arm, "You big
silly, that was me!"
"Oh... Er... I thought you looked familiar... but why were
you dressed as a guy?"
"I don't really like to talk about it, Ran-chan," she
said smiling, "Let's go downstairs... we have a lot of catching
up to do!"
"Sure. Sure. We can talk there..." Ranma was still a
bit confused and not entirely certain why it was so drafty...
Ranko gave a small self contented smile as she watched Ukyou give
Ranma another very enthusiastic hug... made all the worse by four
facts: the fact that Ranma only had a towel draped over his
midsection; the fact that Ukyou was wearing a half buttoned shirt
and nothing else; the fact that Ranma didn't look at all
unpleased that Ukyou was hugging him, and the fact that Akane was
watching, with a scowl. If this didn't make that stupid tomboy
want to break the contract, Ranko mused, she didn't know what
would.
"What is going on here?" Akane asked manhandling Ranma
away from Ukyou.
"Can I at least get dressed first?" asked Ranma
realizing that he only had a thin linen towel to protect his
modesty with. Akane and Ukyou hastily backed out to let him get
dressed, Ukyou pausing just long enough to pick up her boxer
shorts. Ranko left last, taking her time and ogling him.
Ranma made his way down to the restaurant proper a few
moments later to find Ranko and Akane seated at the counter. It
was still before opening time and Ukyou had already done most of
the necessary clean up. She was at the grill cooking up a batch
of her specialty okonomiyaki for their breakfast.
Ukyou smiled brightly at Ranma as he walked towards them,
"Breakfast's on, Sugar. Catch it while its hot."
Akane frowned to herself at Ukyou's familiar tone with
Ranma... Was she an old girlfriend? She asked herself.
Jealousy begins to rear its ugly head, thought Ranko
silently, This is great! I couldn't have planned it better
myself!
The smell of the cooking food drew Ranma down faster,
"Smells great, Ucchan." He said with a smile, "You haven't lost
your touch, I see."
Ukyou dimpled slightly at the compliment, "Thanks. I like
what you did with your hair, by the way. The braid suits you
better than that silly crewcut. I almost didn't recognize you."
Smiling, Ranma absently tugged at his braid, "Thanks. But
you know it was all Principal Kuno's fault why the guys had to
have short hair."
Ukyou laughed, "Yeah, he chased everyone around the campus
with those barbers shears."
Ranma laughed also, "It wasn't that funny! He was a fast
old guy..."
"Who's principal Kuno?" asked Ranko getting lost in the
conversation of the two friends.
"Our deranged principal from high school," Ukyou said
dismissively, adding with a smile, "What a nut..."
"His kids are studying at N.I.T." Ranma added
conversationally.
"No?" said Ukyou a little surprised, "Really? I'd've
thought they would have stayed in Tokyo."
"Um... So... You two really know each other?" asked Akane
trying to break into the conversation.
Ranma nodded, "Yeah, we were best friends in high school."
"Pretty inseparable, right Ranchan?" Ukyou added with a
giggle.
"Yeah," Ranma agreed as he sat down next to Akane. She
favored him with a small smile which he returned. That did not
pass Ukyou's notice... she raised an eyebrow but made no comment.
"It seems like such a long time ago..." said Ukyou
wistfully as she passed Ranko an okonomiyaki.
Ranma nodded, "Yeah. I guess it was. How are you anyway?"
Ukyou smiled sweetly, "Well, as you can see, I have my own
business," she gestured expansively, "It's all mine!" she thought
for a moment then added with a giggle, "Well, mine and the
bank's!"
Ranma laughed easily at the joke, Ranko did so politely,
around her own breakfast... Akane however was feeling rather
uncomfortable at the easy friendship between Ukyou and Ranma.
"Just yours, Ucchan?" Ranma asked finally, slightly
puzzled.
Ukyou nodded, flipping another perfect okonomiyaki onto a
plate just as Ranma said, "What about your husband? Weren't you
marrying that guy fro-"
She nearly dropped the plate in surprise at his mention of
her marriage. Her face suddenly turned unreadable and her voice
was cold and dead as she said, "I didn't marry him."
Ranma, oblivious to Ukyou's sudden change of mood was about
to ask for details, but Akane noticed her discomfort. She put a
hand on Ranma's arm and shook her head when she'd caught his
attention. Ranma looked confused, but didn't press the issue.
"I'd rather not talk about it," Ukyou said finally in the
same dead voice.
Ranko smiled to herself, Very interesting... sorrow. Lots
and lots of it. Rage too... could come in handy...
Ukyou's face brightened suddenly again, "You guys still
need a place to stay, right? My offer still stands Ranchan, I
still need people to work here and I have some extra room. I was
only planning on hiring two people, but considering how much
business has been improving, I think three would work out pretty
well, too. What do you guys say?"
"If you're sure, Ucchan," Ranma said also brightening a
little.
"Are you kidding?" she said, "This place does gets kinda
lonely sometimes... it would be nice to have some company,." she
added, smiling.
"We are so lucky, aren't we, Akane?" Ranko said adding a
wink in Akane's direction.
"Yeah," Akane replied sullenly, "Lucky."
Ranko was picking at her own breakfast as she said cattily,
"You two were pretty close, huh?"
"You could say that," said Ukyou with a slight blush.
Akane seemed even more uncomfortable as she said, "Oh..."
Ranma hastily replied, "It's not like that, Akane! We were
just friends that's all!"
Ukyou was a little taken aback by the Ranma's reaction but
she laughed lightly as she replied, "Not for lack of trying on
our friends' parts to get us together though."
Ranko, looking for more fuel for the fire, said, "You mean
you two weren't an item?"
"No," said Ukyou with a slight trace of wistfulness in her
voice.
"Ranko, quit bugging, her!" said Akane suddenly.
"It's okay, Akane, I don't mind," Ukyou replied easily.
Ranko whispered to Akane, "What's the matter, hammer girl?
Worried we'll find out something unpleasant about your fiance?"
"He is NOT my fiance!" Akane roared at Ranko.
Ranma jerked back a little at the vehemence in Akane's
voice... Ukyou was also mildly shocked.
Ukyou looked at Akane who was breathing hard and just an
inch away from pulling her hammer out to wallop Ranko into the
floor. Then she looked at Ranma who was looking at Akane,
somewhat worriedly. Then back to Akane...
"She's your fiance, Ranchan?" Ukyou asked, very surprised.
"I am not!"
"No she isn't!"
Ranma and Akane shouted simultaneously.
Ranko smirked, "Oh, yes you are... you've even got a
registered contract and everyithing! You're practically man and
wife since Saotome here proposed!"
"That was not a proposal, Ranko and you know it!" Ranma
said.
Ranko put the back of one wrist to her forehead and said in
heavy mock tradgedy, "You ask the girl to stay with you for the
rest of your life and you claim that isn't a proposal?"
"It was an accident, Ranko!" said Akane, "He didn't
realize-"
"Didn't realize what an awful decision he'd made!" crowed
Ranko triumphantly.
"You take that back, incompetent!" said Akane, pulling her
hammer out.
"Akane, it's not worth beating her up for it!" Ranma said
desperately trying to hold Akane back. Or pissing Ukyou off if
either of you start tossing blasts of energy around, he added
quietly.
Ukyou watched them utterly confused and with a slight
sinking feeling in her heart. She shouted, "Quiet!"
As the three finally settled down, "Let me get this
straight..." she pointed to Akane, "You're Ranma's fiance,
right?"
Akane looked embarassed as she put her hammer away, "Um...
in a manner of speaking... I suppose... actually... it's not
quite the word I'd use..."
Ranko said with a smirk, "I think she'd like to be called
'girlfriend' instead. For now anyway. She'll probably want to be
known as 'Mrs. Saotome' soon enough..."
"Ranko, shut up!"
"Okay," she gave Ranma a cheerful look, "Why didn't you
mention this sooner?"
"Er... It wasn't my fault?" said Ranma lamely.
Ukyou sighed, "Same old Ranchan," she looked at Ranko and
then asked, "So what are you doing with your girlfriend's cousin
then?"
Akane muttered, "She's here because she's an
incompetent..."
Ranko gave a brief self-satisfied smile as she said, "I'm
watching over them."
"You're what?" asked Ukyou.
"No you're not! You're causing all of the trouble in the
first place!" said Akane brandishing her hammer.
"This makes absolutely no sense to me." muttered Ukyou.
Ranma sighed, "I don't really understand it myself..."
Ukyou said happily, "Ranchan, when you make a situation for
your self you don't do it half heartedly!"
Ranma burried his face in his hands and muttered, "It's not
like I asked for this..."
"Actually you did..." Ranko interrupted.
The argument and supposed clarification continued on for
the better part of the morning... in the end, Ukyou didn't really
get an explanation... but Ranma and the two goddesses ended up
with a place to live and jobs... for a while anyway...
To be continued....
(
geocities.com/the_vault_fortress)