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As well as this, monkeys are amazingly clever creatures, with many brilliant scientific breakthroughs accredited to their species. They also have tails, which come in very handy when swinging from tree to tree. This method of transportation was famously plagiarised by the human, Tarzan, who later became world famous for this act, which had been perfected by monkeys many centuries beforehand. Tails of course, also come in useful when both hands are tied up, thus making monkeys magnificent thiefs, leading, of course, to the term monkey-business. |
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This term was later developed until 'monkey' became a useful term for describing a particularly mischevious young human. This was one of the biggest breakthroughs ever in the monkey world, leading to a worldwide monkey celebration, and much tree-swinging. Amongst other monkey achievements that went down in history was the day that they beat the human race into space. Much to the disgust of all monkeys everywhere, this fateful day was recorded for all time by humans in the motion picture 'Planet Of The Apes'. The fault in this naming of the film eventually led to the much publicised break-up of human-monkey relations in the early 1970s, and, although fervently denied by the monkey leaders around the globe, the fact that the AIDS outbreak had also been blamed on the monkey population is widely regarded to have caused irreparable damage to the already-fragile relationship. |  |
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After the negotiations in the 1980s failed to resolve the situation the monkey population were left to fend for themselves in the jungles of the world. The humans hoped that eventually the amazing boredom provoked by such isolation would force the monkeys to resume their relations. However, the monkeys, having tails, found no end of trees to swing backwards and forwards from, and had endless fun, while continuing their advanced scientific developments. With the failure of their strategy the humans became incensed and, while the interesting aromas that ensued calmed some, others became angry and went in search of the monkeys. This tactic also failed when upon arrival at the jungles they discovered that the monkeys had developed a new form of technology, entitled the monkey-puzzle tree, which gave ample protection to the monkeys, and led to the humans going home again. |  |
| Continuing their research was hungry work, and the monkeys decided that they needed a new source of nutrition. However they did not want the humans to be able to steal their idea, and so developed the monkey nut. This nut, encased in a shell so tough that only the most advanced monkey-technology could open it, was seen as the ideal way to solve the monkeys' problems. |  |
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However, the humans were not as stupid as the monkeys had assumed, and quickly developed technology that could open these new nuts. The instrument, known as a monkey wrench, brought great joy to the human race and now almost every household contains one, or an updated version. This joy was demonstrated in the 1990s when a famous human music band, known simply as 'The Foo Fighters' wrote a song entitled 'Monkey Wrench', which has become a firm favourite in many bedrooms across the world. |  |
| The monkeys, well defeated, fell into obscurity, many reverting back to their previous occupation. These monkeys, now living in religious centres, made notes of important occurances, and drew fancy pictures using their tails. This put paid to the human claims that the 'monks' that had lived in the early days of the human race, had in fact been fat men who drank lots of ale. However, such historical inaccuracies are often too obvious to keep secret. |
