Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day.  Here is your dose...

The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", byDave Pilkey: The evil  Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

Use the first letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name:

a : stinky
b : lumpy
c : buttercup
d : gidget
e : crusty
f : greasy
g : fluffy
h : cheeseball
i : chim-chim
j : poopsie
k : flunky
l : booger
m : pinky
n : zippy
o : goober
p : doofus
q : slimy
r : loopy
s : snotty
t : falafel
u : dorkey
v : squeezit
w : oprah
x : skipper
y : dinky
z : zsa-zsa

Use the first letter of your last name to determine the first half of your NEW last name:

a : diaper
b : toilet
c : giggle
d : bubble
e : girdle
f : barf
g : lizard
h : waffle
i : cootie
j : monkey
k : potty
l : liver
m : banana
n : rhino
o : burger
p : hamster
q : toad
r : gizzard
s : pizza
t : gerbil
u : chicken
v : pickle
w : chuckle
x : tofu
y : gorilla
z : stinker

Use the last letter of your last name to determine the second half of your  NEW last name:

a : head
b : mouth
c : face
d : nose
e : tush
f : breath
g : pants
h : shorts
i : lips
j : honker
k : butt
l : brain
m : tushie
n : chunks
o : hiney
p : biscuits
q : toes
r : buns
s : fanny
t : sniffer
u : sprinkles
v : kisser
w : squirt
x : humperdinck
y : brains
z : juice

Thus, for example, George Bush's new name is Fluffy Toiletshorts.  And Anna Kournikova is Stinky Pottyhead; John MacEnroe: Poopsie  Bananatush.!