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Marc almost didn't make itinto the Appleseed Cast. Lucky for him, Jason, the previous bassist for the band evolved into a giant mutant bee and along with a gang of other equally genetically twisted bugs fought crime in the greater Kansas City area.
Before Marc joined the Appleseed Cast, he was in a permanent state of depression over the Super bowl, which is his own fault, considering the fact that it's the only football game he watches all year, and it was only in 1995 that he first realized that it was, in fact, a game of football. God knows whathe thought it was prior to that. In any case, he was not pleased with this year's installment. "I could live without a brace of 350-pound goober opening the evening with every vulgarity known to man," he announced as a team he didn't recognize were entered the field with, well, noticeable lack of control for prime time. "Potty mouths," Marc mumbled. Although calling a 350-pound meat head a potty mouth to his face might not be a great idea.

Anyhow, it was down hill from that point on. The lad was entertained enough by the Whassup ads (They're a touchstone of American culture) Inspired by the incredible lack of talent at half time, taste during the commercials, and lackof beer during the game he dropped everything but his bass and a bottomless beer bottle (His own invention, soon to be sold at the nearest Bed Bath and Beyond) he got up and left never to be seen again.. that is.. until I saw him at 7th Heaven downing shots when he thought no one was looking. He now spreads his melancholy through AC's newest album, Low Level Owl: Volume 1.

 

The repercussions of the giant mutant bees made their way to the life of Joshua. Joshua was in a permanent state of depression after realizing that the only crime his yellow and black striped caped avenger could fight was VCR repair. Joshua left Manhattan, on sabbatical he says, but while there was sabbatical on his lips, there was enough-of-this-baloney in his eyes. Hewas briefly staying at an Overland Park mission for an unlimited stay preaching salvation to the golf masses.

After having some sort of vision (perhaps just a hallucination? But aren't allvisions?) of a giant black Buick - half car, half flaming pumpkin - barreling down a street, and somehow belonging to a cobra named Richard Nixon he decided that missionary work was not his cup-o-tea but joining the dot com market that summer was. He dropped his Christian name of Josuha and continues to only respond to Cobra (Homage to what he believed to be an omen of sorts).Unfortunately for Cobra, the dot market ceased to exist a short 14:59 secondsafter he invested and usurped his 15 minutes of fame.

At this point, the noise in his head was getting louder and had one last epiphany. "I can't fight the beats. Perhaps I can exercise them out by banging on things to the sound in my head." Grabbing only two pieces of drift wood (Highly sought for considering Kansas is fenced in by the lonely land of Lincoln, voters who preferred a dead man to Ashcroft for a Senate seat,Jon-Bennette-land, and Timothy McVae World). Cobra headed to Lawrence Kansas and can now be found at the University of Kansas' Library downloading AppleseedCast shows from www.ambercrombieandfitch.com.*
*Every word of the last sentence is true.

 


 

Aaron was, and continues to be in a permanent depression over the move of Buffy to UPN from the WB only a short few months ago. "It's all subterfuge to cover up the demise of Voyager," he declaims. To which the obvious reply is, "But you never liked Voyager in the first place." to which hereplies,"That's beside the point." (Which is what he always replies when you're right and he's wrong.) This biographer didn't even bother to point out that Buffy's been on for about forty years now and he's never watched it once, because that would obviously be beside the point too. ";The thing is," he says, "if they have any sense at all, they won't come out with another Trek show right away. That will build up anticipation for the new show when it does come."I do have to admit that the lad does watch Voyager, even though he complains about it a lot. "This woman wouldn'thave gotten into Starfleet Academy, much less graduated successfully enough tobecome a captain. She makes every mistake in the book." "And yourfavorite Captain is Kirk, no doubt," I respond. He sneers. ";Ihave nothing against Kirk per se -- he was fine for his time -- but the only captain I'd follow to the ends of the universe is Picard." How he can say that -- that Kirk was fine for his time -- is beyond me, since Kirk was the biggest ham on screen ever until they filmed Babe (and my understanding is that Shatner was up for that part too).

As Aaron rambles I realize I'm asking too many questions, and perhaps I'm a bit too argumentative. After all, I am trying to conduct an interview to gather his biography for the fan site. Furthermore, I need to start sticking to the questions approved by Ed Rose, who severely chewed up the list of questions Ioriginally submitted. I could only ask him questions about Star Trek.

Aaron clicked on the remote again and again and again, all the while trying toignore a fly from above his head. "There is plenty of room in this house for him to carry on his business but he has to hang out with me." It was true. The fly seemed to enjoy Aaron's company. Then again, so was I so I can'treally blame the bug. Click. Click. Click. From Bands on the Run to Hollywood Squares to Undressed to Fear Factor to Real World to Weakest Link to Millionaire to Temptation Island 2 to ER to Survivor 3 to the Simpsons. At which point he stops, because if there's nothing else the two of us can agree on, we do come to amicable terms on good old Homer.

No, this isn't filler since Aaron's past has been mysteriously covered up and impossible to find any reliable sources <coughEdRosecough>. What can be assumed is that Aaron's passion for Buffy and their demise was expressed in hisand Chris's side project "Hundred Hands". Maybe he will startwatching Buffy next year. I know I will.

 

When Chris was younger a wolf raised him. Specifically, Michael J. Fox’s role in “Teen Wolf”. Come off it. Everyone has a character in a movie that they wish every night, sobbing into her pillow- was a real character in her life.<sigh>. Chris sure was one lucky guy.

Shortly after Chris was kicked outof the pack for not being a ‘team player’ he spent his time reading Walden and sucking all the marrow out of life as a hermit in Montana. (Contrary to popular beleif Thoreau was not the cause of Chris' permanent state of depression, rather it was years later watching good ole Michael J. Fox on Spin City. "What a waste" he told me as he glanced at the moon with puppy dog eyes.) Anyways, his seclusion was spurred after having nowhere else to go since Michael J. Fox was busy with Doc Hollywood at the time and he needed to find a safe place to live after testifying at the P-Diddy Trial. "I have a lot of thinking to do,” He told his friends after the testimony as he rode off into the sunset to recharge his batteries. (It was around this time that he had to make the choice to sign onto DeathRowRecords or Deep Elm)

Chris was left alone up there watching the deleted scenes from DVD movies he didn't like in the first place. (Can anyone explain why we all feel compelled to study all the extras when we didn't like the basics?) Why don't we start getting the deleted scenes from TV shows? What exactly wasn'tgood enough to get onto the Bette Midler show? Enquiring minds want to know.

Since then, Chris has been busy balancing the life living under the whim of circadian rhythms with the life ofa semi-emo rock star. This mainly entails getting a hold of some secret man whohas the secret password to the secret site (wwww.theapplseedcast.com). This guy was keeping it under such tight wraps you'd think he was hiding the location ofthe Holy Grail. Perhaps the two aren't too far apart.*

*Correction-since this waswritten Chris was stealthy and somehow got a hold of the secret guy with thesecret password to the secret site to spill his secretive guts out. This occurredduring a full moon. Coincidence? I think not.


 

 

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