JUST FOR FUN

College Entrance Exam (Adapted for football players)
Taken from the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey.

1. What language is spoken in France?
2. Would you ask William Shakespeare to:
Build a bridge
Sail the ocean
Lead an army
Write a play
3. What religion is the Pope?
Jewish
Catholic
Hindu
Polish
Agnostic
4. What are the people in America's far north called?
Westerners
Southerners
Notherners
5. Six kings of England have been called GEORGE, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.
6. How many commandments was Moses given (approximately)?
7. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
Yes
No
8. What are coat hangers used for?
9. Explain Le Chantelier's Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium OR spell your name in CAPITAL LETTERS.
Advanced math: If you have three apples, how many apples do you have?

*You must correctly answer three or more questions to qualify.
Time Limit: 3 weeks

Two men were drinking at the bar at the top of the Empire State Building. One man turns to the other and says, "you know last week, I discovered that if you jump off this building, once you fall to around the 10th floor the winds there are soooo intense that they just pick you up and carry you around the building into a window on the other side." The bartender just shakes her head and continues wiping the bar. The 2nd man says, "You must be nuts, there is no way in hell that could happen." The 1st man says, "No, let me prove it to you!" So he jumps off the building and free falls down until about the 10th floor where he is suddenly carried around the building into the window. He proceeds to take the elevator and returns back up to the bar.
The 2nd man exclaims, "I have seen it with my own eyes but I just can't believe it! That must have been some kind of one time fluke!" The 1st man says, "No, let me prove it to you again." So he jumps off again and is hurtling towards the street below when at the 10th floor, the wind gently carries him around the building and into the window. When he returns to the bar upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it himself. The 2nd man says, "What the hell, I've seen it twice, it works, I'll try it!" So he jumps, falls past the 10th floor, 9th, 8th... splat on the sidewalk below. Back upstairs the bartender turns to the other drinker and says, "You know, Superman... you're a real asshole when you're drunk!"

The plane cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who was just as obviously enjoying himself. He came swishing down the aisle and said to the man and the woman seated in first class, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people. So if you could just put up your trays, that would be super." On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that the woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big-brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo to the main man can pitty-pat us onto the ground." She camly turns her head and says, "In my country, I'm called a Princess. I take orders from no one!" "Well sweet-cheeks..." the gay f/a replied, "in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Put up the tray, bitch!"

A mother had three daughters and on their wedding day she asked each one of them to write home and tell her about their married life. The first one wrote back on the second day. The letter arrived with a single message, "Maxwell Coffeehouse". The mother is confused but finally noticed that a Maxwell Coffeehouse ad read: "Satisfaction to the lap drop..." So Mother was happy. The second daughter got married and the message read: "Rothmans". So the mother looked for the Rothmans ad, and it says: "Life Size. King Size". And Mother was happy. Then it was the third one's wedding. Mother was anxious. It took four weeks for a message to come through. When it did, the message was simply "British Airways". Mother was concered, and frantically checked all the newspaper for a BA ad. She finally found one and fainted. The ad read: "TWO TIMES A DAY, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, BOTH WAYS".

These are all I have for now. If you have any that you would like to post up, please email me at babydigitalneo@aol.com. Thanks!!~