I am understandably proud of this particular piece -- it is a tour de force of verbiage that is a simultaneously a paragon and parody of its type. ( Most of you still owe me a beer.)

End Loser License Agreement

You should carefully read and attempt to understand the following terms and conditions of before playing todays game.  Unless you have a different license agreement signed by all members of Game Control, three international heads of state, the current head of the Nobel Prize Selection Committee, AND the Pope, your possession of the Game Manual indicates your acceptance of this license agreement and warranty.

This End User License Agreement is an agreement between you (both as individual participant and as a collective team, herein after both are included in any reference to "Team" or "Teams") and those individuals responsible for planning and executing Get-a-Clue 2000:  A Briefcase Full of Clues (those individuals are herein after collectively referred to as "Game Control") to license the Get-a-Clue 2000 Official Handbook, Documentation, and Materials Notebook (herein after referred to as the OHDaMN or "Game Manual", though this designation encompasses not only the physical manual but also associated media, any "online" or electronic documentation, various doodads and gizmos as provided, and verbal instructions that may be thrown in when you are given your Game Manual) for the purposes of playing today's game, Get-a-Clue 2000:  A Briefcase Full of Clues.  With this Game Manual, your Team has acquired the right to participate in the game identified above (herein after referred to as "Get-a-Clue 2000" or "Get-a-Clue").

If the appropriate registration and waiver forms were not filled out, accompanied by the payment of all requisite fees, you may not use or copy the Game Manual or participate in Get-a-Clue 2000.

By reading, copying, or otherwise employing the Game Manual, you agree to be bound by the terms of this End User License Ageement.  If you do not agree to the terms of this End User License Agreement, Game Control is unwilling to license the Game Manual to you.  In such an event, you may not use or copy the Game Manual, and you should promptly contact Game Control for instructions on return of the unused product for a refund.

PRODUCT LICENSE
The Game Manual is protected by the laws of the Free and Sovereign nation of Djibouti, their copyright laws, international copyright treaties, as well as other intellectual property laws and treaties.  The Game Manual is licensed, not sold.

GRANT OF LICENSE
This license agreement grants you the following rights:

Your Team may install and use one copy of the Game Manual for the purpose of playing Get-a-Clue 2000.

Any number of individuals may access or otherwise utilize the copy of the Gam Manual, as long as all individuals are members of the same Team.

Your team may also copy and/or electronically transfer any text portion of the Game Manual so as to allow multiple individuals to use the Game Manual simultaneously, and may distribute said copied portions of the Game Manul however desired among Team members.  However, each Team planning to participate in Get-a-Clue 2000 must acquire and dedicate a license for the Game Manul for Team use.  A license for the Game Manual may not be shared or used concurrently by different Teams.

DESCRIPTION OF OTHER RIGHTS AND LIMITATIONS

You may not reverse engineer, decompile, or disassemble the Game Manual, except and only to the extent that such activity is expressly permitted by applicable law notwithstanding this limitation

The Game Manual may only be used by one Team.

The Game Manual is licensed as a single product.  Its physical pages may not be separated for use by more than one Team.

You may not rent or lease the Game Manual.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball (TM)

You may permanently transfer all of your rights under this license agreement only as part of a sale or transfer of the Game Manual and all other Get-a-Clue 2000 participation rights, provided you retain no copies, you transfer all of the Game Manual (including all component parts, the media and printed materials, any upgrades, any copies, this license agreement and, if applicable, the Certificate of Authenticity), you publically abdicate all rights to play Get-a-Clue 2000 and notify Game Control that you are withdrawing from the game, AND the recipient agrees to the terms of this license agreement.  If the Game Manual is an upgrade, any transfer must include all prior versions of the Game Manual.

Without prejudice to any other rights, Game Control may terminate this license agreement if you fail to comply with the terms and conditions of this license agreement, or at its whim.  In such an event, you must destroy all copies of the Game Manual and all of its associated media.

UPGRADES
This license applies to the registered version of the Game Manual for use expressly with Get-a-Clue 2000:  A Briefcase Full of Clues.  If you are still playing an older version of Get-a-Clue (also called GAC, GYAC, KOGAC, and various others) please upgrade to Get-a-Clue 2000 before reading the Game Manual or attempting to participate in this year's game.  Older versions of Get-a-Clue are no longer supported by Game Control and will void your participation in today's game.  Anyone using an older version of Get-a-Clue will not be able to win.  An upgraded version of Get-a-Clue will be promptly provided by Game Control to any Team, for a large and mostly arbitrary fee.

COPYRIGHT
All title in and to the Game Manul (including but not limited to any images, photographs, animations, video, audio, music, text, or computer programs incorporated into the Game Manual), the accompanying materials, and any copies of the Game Manual, are owned by Game Control or by the respective authors, if and as cited.  The following sentence was intentionally hidden in the copyright portion because you all skip this stuff.  You now owe Matt one beer.  For further information, please refer to the appropriate article in the reference portion of this manual.  We now return you to your regularly scheduled broadcast.  The Game Manual is protected by copyright laws and international treaty provisions.  You may only copy the Game Manual or associated printed materials accompanying the Game Manual in a manner consistent with the previously stated rights granted to you in this license agreement.

DUAL-MEDIA ISSUES
You may receive the Game Manual in more than one medium.  Reguardless of the type or size of medium you recieve, you may only use one medium that is appropriate for your single Team.  You may not loan, rent, lease, or otherwise transfer the other medium to another Team, except as part of the permanent transfer (as provided above) of the Game Manual.

PRODUCT SUPPORT
Product support for the game Manual and Get-a-Clue 2000 is NOT guaranteed by Game Control or its subsidiaries.  Help with the Game Manual, individual clues, or otheraspects of the game may, at Game Control's discretion, be provided in a capricious and arbitrary manner at any point during Get-a-Clue 2000.  However, all Teams are hereby warned that such help may start or stop without prior notice, such help may be difficult to interpret or understand, and such "help" may not, in fact, be of much help at all.  For those Teams who find this level of product support unsatisfactory, other arrangements can be made with certain third-party suppliers for a fee.

OTHER RESTRICTIONS
The registered version of the Game Manual is only valid for a 24-hour period starting at 10:00AM of April 15, 2000.  Use of the Game Manual on any other date will void the warranty.  Game Control will only support this product on the specified valid date(s), and tech support will not be available at other times.

DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTY
This Game Manual, Get-a-Clue 2000, and the accompanying puzzles and clues are presented "as is" and without warranties as to performance or solvability or any other warranties whether expressed or implied.  In particular, there is no warranty for the optional clue-solving function.  (The Game Manual does not actively solve clues, it simply supports external agents that claim to perform this function.)  Because of the various hardware and software environments into which the Game Manual may be put, no warranty of fitness for any particular purpose is offered.

The user must assume the entire risk of playing the game. Any liability of Game Control will be limited exclusively to replacement of missing clue envelopes.  Game Control will not supply modified clues of decreased difficulty, and is not obligated to provide teams with hints or instructions on how to solve clues.  However, a missing clue may be replaced with an equivalent clue delivered verbally or by some other method, at the discretion of Game Control.  Additionally and most importantly, after the game begins there are no refunds.