At this late hour when Kit found herself sitting up, book in hand. The tiny novice quarters seemed more and more cramped by the passing day as she anticipated the coming of her test to become an Accepted. It was here, on this night that a knock broke the usual silence of this wee hour. *Knock Knock Knock* a commanding knock, an Aes Sedai knock.
Kit leapt up from her desk, hurriedly putting up her book, and brushing the wrinkles quickly out of her Novice dress. She tucked a few stray strands of hair back in to her braid where they had fallen out. She walked hurriedly to the door and opened it wide to see who was outside.
Dressed all in Silvery white, her brown shawl contrasts distinctly. Mellyn is a vision of all the things it was to be Aes Sedai and the air about her was chill with the confidence only a full Sister and the Mistress of Novices could possess. In a soft but commanding tone she spoke what seemed as a ritual to Kit. "Come with me Kit, the hour waits for no woman." Then, without another word, Mellyn turned away from the Novice and begin walking down the hall.
Kit stared at the stately Mistress of Novices for a moment, a little unsure. Seeing that Mellyn Sedai was not going to wait for her, she gave her room a last look and stepped outside. She closed the door quickly and hurried after her. She tried not to look afraid as she followed the Aes Sedai through the hallways.
Down long passages and into the bowels of the Tower the two of them marched side by side, until at long last, they reached a large wooden door in a silver frame. Mellyn whispered "Good luck child," and then opened the heavy door. Inside was a room that Kit had never seen before, the room of the Arches. Kit's heart leapt as from inside she heard, "Remove your clothes and set them on the bench there." The Mistress of Novices' voice seemed to echo with power in this large stone room.
Kit couldn't help but stare. Her mind flashed back to the conversation that she, Asura, and Telcia had about becoming Accepted. This must be it. She hurried inside, looking around at the Aes Sedai gathered... She walked so fast it was almost a run to the bench. As she took off of her clothes, she couldn't help but stare at the huge Angreal before her...wondering what it did.
As she was removing her clothing, Kit saw that Arette had now joined the women around the arches, making their number a total of four. Kit tried to smile at her mentor, but Arette was busy with other thing. Telcia was there from the Red Ajah, Arie Sedai from the Green, and Nyna Sedai of the Yellow. As she took note of them, Mellyn continued. "Two things I will tell you now that no woman hears until she is in this room," the Mistress of Novices began formally.
Kit's was a little nervous about being unclothed in front of all these other fully clothed women. She felt a bit small and insignificant. She listened intently to Mellyn as she spoke. "The first is this. Once you begin, you must continue to the end. Refuse to go on, and no matter your potential, you will be very kindly put out of the Tower with enough silver to support you for a year, and you will never be allowed back. Second. To seek, to strive, is to know danger. You will know danger here. Some women have entered, and never come out. When the Ter’angreal was allowed to grow quiet, they - were - not - there. And they were never seen again. If you will survive, you must be steadfast. Falter, fail, and..."
Her silence was more eloquent than any words. "This is your last chance, child. You may turn back now, go back to your warm bed as a Novice of the White Tower and you will have only one mark against you. Twice more you will be allowed to come here, and only at the third refusal will you be put out of the Tower. It is no shame to refuse. Many do. So… what is your decision?"
Kit looked up at Mellyn, the fear plain on her face. She looked back to the Ter'Angreal Arches. She wanted to know what they were for...but the fear was still there. She looked over to her Mentor and looked at the Aes Sedai gathered there. Kit did not want to disappoint Arette or the other Aes Sedai that she had come to call friends here in the Tower. She turned back to Mellyn and took a deep breath. "I wish to go on, Mellyn Sedai."
"Very well child. Then we shall begin." With that Mellyn led Kit to the edge of the first arch. "Whom do you bring with you, Sister?" The three Aes Sedai around the Ter’angreal spoke, each in time with the other. All the while their attentions stayed directed to the Arches. "One who comes as a candidate for Acceptance, Sister," Mellyn replied. "Is she ready?" the voices questioned. "She is ready to leave behind what she was, and, passing through her fears, to gain Acceptance."
Enormous butterflies were marching parades around in Kit's stomach. "Does she know her fears?" Kit could see Telcia’s icy blue eyes glance at her from the corner of her eye as if she was speaking directly to Kit for one brief second. "She has never faced them, but now is willing." Mellyn continued. "Then let her face what she fears." With those words Telcia’s full attention turned to the Ter’angreal and it began to hum softly and glow with the power.
"The first time," Mellyn said softly, "is for what was. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast." The Brown Sister stepped away from Kit, leaving her alone to advance. Kit took a deep breath, swallowing her fear, pushing it down deep. She took one more breath and held it, raising her foot to step in to the silvery arch, nakedness now forgotten.
Radiant burning white light engulfed Kit's nude form pulling her inward. For a moment she could still see through the light to the other side and saw Arie Sedai's face but as Kit placed her foot to the other side ... the world fell away...
*BUMP* The horses whinnied. Kit hit her head hard on the roof of her father's wagon. The goods were intact as she hurriedly checked them but the young girl wondered what under the light her father hit. It felt odd to her for a moment...her father being with her. Kit then remembered everything. She was in the caravan with her father's goods. They had been on the way to Cairhien for days now to sell them. All was right with the world.
Kit wrinkled her forehead. Her father's drivers were usually much better than that. Kit wondered if they were nearing Cairhien. She opened the small window of the wagon to look out on the deck of the wagon and to goodnaturedly pick on whoever was driving.
The driver's face was frantic as he lashed the horses to move faster. He looked frightened, and it was in that instant Kit saw why... brigands. Her father shouted to her worriedly. "Stay inside Kit!"
A distant voice seemed to whisper behind her ears softly, "The way back will come but once… An incredibly worried expression crossed Kit's face. She felt afraid...it was the first time brigands had ever attacked their caravan since she started coming along. She heard a strange voice in her head and shook it quickly...wondering if it was the fear getting to her. She stood and made her way across the wildly bumping wagon. She grabbed the staff that Kana made her and clutched it tightly. She grasped her mother's silver locket and pushed it inside her dress to hide it. She ran back across the wagon to the door out to the wagon driver's seat. She poked her head out again.
"Kit get back inside!" Her father demanded in an angry and fearful voice. A crossbow bolt whizzed by Kit's ear to bury itself in the wood between her and her father. "NOW!" Startled by the arrow, she jumped back quickly and slammed the door screaming. She cried for her father to take care of himself as she huddled in a corner of the wagon, still clutching her staff.
The horses rushed at incredible speeds. Kit was certain the wagon couldn't handle this. And as if thinking it made it happen *CRACK, SNAP, BOOM!* everything inside came sliding to the back left corner of the wagon. The axle had broken and the wagon ground to a halt. "The way will come but once…"
Everything tumbled on top of Kit as she cried out. It ended up in a large pile. She heard the voice in her head again, she wondered if she'd cracked her head in the fall. The voice sounded familiar even. She felt her head to make sure there wasn't a bump. She shuddered and started digging her way out of the piles of their things. She grabbed one of the cast iron cooking pots and struggled towards the wagon door.
The horses were frenzied outside, screaming almost. Mixed with the shouts of the men, some in pain and some angry, Kit was certain this was how the Pit of Doom must sound. She could hear the sound of metal on metal... swords she thought. Her father was calling out orders to the men. In her heart, she knew as long as she could hear his voice, he was still alive. "Rally the wagon!" He called "Protect the wagon!" He screamed again. "Be steadfast…"
Kit was scared out of her wits. More scared than she had ever been in her entire life. She heard the tumult outside and wondered if the wagon would collapse on her. She heard her father's voice and it calmed her some. She knew it was dangerous outside...but she wanted to be with her father. She was stuck in indecision on whether to exit the wagon or stay inside. She put a hand on the wagon door...which was now over her head.
As she did, the door came flying open. A large man with a wicked scar down his cheek and over his eye smiled a toothy grin. Saliva dripped from his jagged, broken, and stained teeth and his deep, dark eyes looked at her with great lust as his chest heaved and fell. In his hand, a large sword glimmered in the noonday sun. His voice was gruff as the Dark One himself must sound. "Well, what do we have here... come here my little pretty!" He reached for Kit through the hatchway.
Kit fell back to the floor of the wagon and shoved the butt end of her staff up towards the face of the man on the top of the wagon. She was frightened and nearly at wits end but remembered her scant training. *CRACK* The staff hit home. Crimson rain fell upon her as he clutched his eye socket. Blood. He fell backwards leaving the door open and for the moment, she was safe.
"The way comes but once ... be steadfast." So familiar was the voice. Kit thought it might have been her mother's voice a first…but the voice was someone else close… The voice was ... fearful? Kit thought to herself, "This is definitely not a good sign." She listened for her father's voice again. She still couldn't place where she'd heard that voice before. Shaking her head to clear it and, staff held above her for defense, she tried to peek out to see what was going on. She thought she might be going crazy…hearing voices...but it sounded so familiar... It must be her fear.
The world itself was on end for Kit as she noticed her father's men lying in pools of their own blood. One or two had lost limbs, and yet more were screaming. Kit's head swerved to the sound of continued fighting and saw her father. He was fighting two large men all by himself and there were more brigands coming.
Kit nearly fainted from the sight of men dying around her, but she couldn't leave her father...all alone as it seems. She climbed out on to the overturned wagon, brandishing her staff as if it were the only thing there was between her and oblivion.
A bright light drew the young girl's attention from the carnage as if the Light itself put it there for her to see. A silver arch. Kit KNEW that she should go to it though part of her was unsure why. The voice so familiar seemed to beg, "BE STEADFAST! THE WAY COMES BUT ONCE!"
But the arch was in the other direction... away from her father.
Kit stood on the top of the wagon. One way was her father, fighting for his life against an overwhelming force and the silver archway was the other. She knew now what the voice meant… That she must abandon her father and go to it. Watching over her shoulder to her father, she jumped off of the side of the wagon toward the arch. She walked quickly as if to run from the shame of turning her back on her father. Tears streamed down her tanned face, knowing that she probably would die beside him if she did help him. She tore her gaze away and threw away her staff for a headlong run for the Arch.
"KIT!! NO DON'T LEAVE ME!!!! DAUGHTER!!!!!!"
"I LOVE YOU FATHER!!!" She screamed in reply, sobbing as she ran. Her father's voice was full of pain and it echoed in her ears "Don't leave me... daughter" even as she rushed through the arch into blinding white light.
Just as she hit the floor on the other side, icy crystal water washed over her and Kit heard the words, "You are washed clean of what sin you may have done," the Aes Sedai intoned, "and of those done against you. You are washed clean of what crime you may have committed, and of those committed against you. You come to us washed clean and pure, in heart and soul."
Mellyn stood before the Novice. Kit cried out loudly and pounded her hands on the floor...but the world came snapping back to her current reality. She pulled herself in to a little huddle and scrubbed at her eyes, standing slowly. She hardly heard the spoken words. She stared, eyes still full of tears, up at Mellyn Sedai. She slowly got to her feet and asked the question that all Novices that go through this ask, "Is it real?"
Mellyn put her arm around Kit and spoke softly. "No one knows for certain, Kit. "But I do not believe it really is what it seems. Come. The second time is for what is. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."
Kit let herself be led to the next arch. She thought to herself...This is how the Ter'Angreal works... She shuddered, not because of the chill air and her nakedness, as she was led to the second arch, staring at the Sisters around it and at her Mentor. All are wearing the Aes Sedai cool, but she could see different and sometimes conflicting emotions on the nearly unreadable face of each.
Taking another deep breath to steady herself, she stepped into the white light and was once more consumed by it. Again for a brief moment she could see the sister on the other side holding the power...Nynaeve. Slowly, as she descended into the light, everything washed away.
"Kit...wake up. You silly goose you fell asleep again!" Asura, dressed in Accepted banded white, shook Kit to full consciousness. Looking down, Kit realized that she too was dressed in the banded Accepted's gown and before her, spread out on the table were books, notes, and one single white stone rod. It came back to her now. She was almost on the brink of discovering what the ter'angreal did! The first Accepted ever to accomplish such a feat! She must just have dosed off.
Kit shook her head and sat up straight, looking over to Asura. She smiled at the other Accepted. For a moment, she looked down at her own dress, feeling that it was a bit odd, but then the moment passed "I know I am close, Asura... I can feel it." She stretched slowly, hands knuckling her back. She turned back to the books and parchments before her and checked her notes to see where she left off.
"Well, if you keep falling asleep like this you're likely to burn yourself out. What's worse is Mother is coming to check on your progress today! I don't suppose you forgot about that did you?" As Asura said it, Kit suddenly remembered that the Amyrlin Seat was coming personally to see her work!
Kit dropped her quill in shock. "I had completely forgotten! Oh LIGHT!" She turned a hesitant smile to Asura and began to neaten her desk a bit. "Thank you for reminding me, Asura...I might have slept through it!" Asura laughed. "Light girl! What would you do without me? Go clean up. I'll organize your notes." Kit gave Asura a thankful hug. "I'm just going to run to my rooms for a moment. I will be right back. Thank you so much!!"
Kit turned and ran out of the room. In her room it was quiet. Kit tore off her dress to put on a clean one and began to wash her face. The water was cool. "The way back comes but once." The voice gave her a start but no one was in her room... She was alone. Kit continued washing while she thought about her notes. Then, as if a sign from the Light itself, she realized it. The ter'angreal must do something with WATER!
Kit looked around the room, face and hands wet. The dawning thought of the water leaped in to her mind. Hurriedly, she grabbed a towel and dried off her hands and face. She changed in to an extra pair of her slippers and dashed out the door. Heedless of how she looked, she careened down the hall, running back to the classroom she had left, WATER thundering through her brain.
She considered what it could do... create water perhaps? Call rain? Find water in the earth? Control the tides? It was all so much but now that she understood where to direct it Kit KNEW she could find the answer. She would be the FIRST Accepted in the Tower to discover the true power of a ter'angreal that was unknown before. Pride swelled in her chest.
In the room, Asura stood tall with her eyes forward laying directly on the Amyrlin Seat, Arette, and several Sitters of the Hall. Asura looked nervous but her eyes were full of thanks upon seeing Kit's arrival. Kit's heart was hammering in her chest. She would have something conclusive to show to the Amyrlin herself! She rushed onward toward the classroom. Kit skidded to an undignified halt at the sight of such important Aes Sedai. She dipped in to the deepest curtsy of her life, honoring the women gathered there.
"Here she is mother." Asura dipped a curtsey as well. Karana was beautiful and powerful. Her presence was amazing to behold. Her eyes lay on Kit and she could feel the weight of the world. "I am told that you are making great progress with this Ter'angreal." "The way will come but once ... be steadfast," another voice intruded. "Perhaps you can tell me a bit of what you've learned thus far."
Kit tried to ignore the voice in her head...surely she was hearing things...it must be the excitement. Kit walked slowly to her desk and took her notes in hand. "It would be my greatest pleasure Mother." Kit hazarded a smile at the Amyrlin Seat before launching in to a small lecture on the ter'angreal...she reached the end and spoke about how just moments ago she realized that Water was the key.
The Sitters hmmmed and ahhhed...but the Amrylin was not quite as taken as the others with Kit's lecture. Karana considered the Accepted's words carefully. "I would observe your final testings. I would like very much to be witness to the discovery and to such a historical moment for the Tower." The other sitters nodded their agreements and Arette seemed to beam with her pride and pleasure. It was then that the Light of the silvery arch appeared just as it had before.
It all came back to Kit now. Easier than before. She almost cried out in anger. To leave now would mean losing everything with this discovery. She KNEW that if she just used it with water once, she'd have it...but the arch would not wait that long. "Be Steadfast," urged the voice. The Amyrlin Seat and the Sitters pulled up chairs to watch.
Kit reached a hand out toward the Ter'angreal but gritted her teeth and started to walk toward the arch, face pinched in frustration. She was so close...she knew she had it. "Daughter, where are you going? You can't leave now. You must help us to learn the truth of this ter'angreal." Karana's voice was harsh and full of command. Anger and frustration at being pulled out now warred on Kit's face as she walked mechanically to the arch, hoping that the Amyrlin and the gathered Sisters didn't decide to restrain her by force. "You will not leave us now! You are sealed to us as Accepted! You can not leave! History will remember your failure!"
At that last, Kit growled and threw herself to the arch, tense, hands balled in to fists at her side. As the white light washed over her, again the Amyrlin's voice lingered "your failure..." Icy water hit her flesh again as she collapsed with weariness to the floor. "You are washed clean of false pride. You are washed clean of false ambition. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul." The Aes Sedai around the Angreal spoke in time with one another and their voices echoed in the vast stone chamber.
Mellyn bent down to help Kit stand. "AAarrrrrrggggggghhhh...I was so close!" Kit's voice faded away as she realized that she was in the room with the Sisters again. She breathed a huge sigh of relief and stood as Mellyn helped her. She blushed furiously as she stood there with all of the Aes Sedai staring at her outburst. "The third time," Mellyn intoned formally, "is for what will be. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast." Kit looked up at Mellyn and nodded slowly and whispered softly, "Thank you Mellyn Sedai."
As Kit stepped through the archway again, she saw the other side for a short time. This time it was Telcia's beautiful blue eyes staring back at her though her focus was obviously on the arch. Her eyes appeared tear stained as she disappeared into the white light of... morning. Kit could see the sun shining down through the treetops. It was beautiful. She was resting against a tree, wrapped in a blanket. A long dead fire sat a few inches away and a river as well. A plate full of bread and cheese sat to her side. She felt half asleep still... perhaps that was why it was not clear where she was yet or what she was doing here.
Kit reached a hand up to brush stray strands of hair back to her long braid. She glanced around, feeling the texture and warmth of the blanket. She yawned and looked up through the branches of the trees overhead and breathed in a deep breath, clearing her mind. She was thirsty, her mouth felt like it was stuffed with wool. Making a face, Kit looked around and shrugged out of the blanket, searching for a cup to get some water in.
She easily found a cup nearby. She could now see a beautiful white mare tied to a tree as well. Kit knew the mare was hers and that, in the old tongue, her name meant Star. Walking towards the river, Kit gave Star a scratch behind the ears before she walked the rest of the way to the river...smiling and speaking quiet words to her horse.
When she reached the water, she leaned down in to fill her cup and the memories come flooding back as she saw the brown-fringed shawl in her reflection. She was a Sister. A brown, Kit was on her way home...her father was sick. She had a healing ter'angreal to help him. And then she remembered - Ragan. Her warder was nearby somewhere. She could feel him in her mind... he was close. Suddenly, she saw his reflection in the water. He was behind her. His long black hair pulled in a topknot and his piercing green eyes like a fine hunting bird's - all of him there behind her…As he has been for so long.
"The way will come but once…"
Kit was struck by the thought that her father was sick...and the strange feeling that of being connected to a Warder...it didn't seem right for a moment but she chalked it up to worry. She heard the voice echoing in her head. It sounded so familiar...so close... Kit looked up at Ragan, smiling sadly, but hope echoing in her eyes. "I believe we shall arrive soon...I hope it isn't too late for Father." She took a sip of the crystal clear water.
"We'll be there within an hour or so. The way is clear. The Children of the Light were thrown by the trick." Ragan's hand fell softly on her shoulder. An intimate touch that only one so close could give. Kit placed her hand on top of Ragan's on her shoulder. "Perhaps we should be off before they have a chance to catch their wits and return." Kit turned, letting her hand fall as she went to gather her things.
Ragan readied the horses. His horse, 'Glory' in the old tongue, was a deep chestnut stallion with thick legs to match his rider's. Helping Kit mount, Ragan then mounted Glory and started out towards the road. Once on it, Kit knew exactly where they were. Home was a short ride away. Ragan's words broke her from her thoughts "I look forward to speaking with your father. If not for that work of yours in the Stedding I would have been to see him by now. You know that don't you?"
Kit rode easily as she listened, being so close made her want to hurry to her father's side. He was an old man now. "I feel that I should have come sooner, but I could not leave my work," she said as they rode. "You can't blame yourself," was Ragan's soft reply. "The way will come but once..." "Your work helped a lot of people. I'm proud of you." She could feel his pride and care for her pass over the bond. Also, his worry for her.
Kit smiled at her Warder, thankfulness for having him with her passing to him through that same bond. She even had the grace to blush a bit. "That means the world to me, Ragan..." She trailed off as she heard the faintly familiar voice in her head…wondering what it was. She turned back to her Warder, shaking it off and continuing to ride. "You know it does." Ragan nodded and kneed his horse to a faster pace, feeling Kit's anxiousness. Kit could remember Ragan when they first met, so cold and dedicated to his work and now, with her at least, he was a gentle man. Kind and open. She could easily recall how long it took them to build a friendship and now it seemed that Ragan felt perhaps more. "Do you?" The bond held feelings of his worry...his fear.
"Do I ... I mean. Do I really know?" Kit tapped her heels gently in the horse's side to pick up speed to match Ragan's horse. She smiled at the fond memories, but worry for her father kept intruding on her thoughts. She glanced over at her Warder. Ragan's face was stone but his emotions were a torrent, suddenly swallowed into the void he put around himself during battle. Then gone. He often did that to hide himself from her. It was the only way he could. Not for the first time analyzing the feelings coming across the bond, she whispered softly to herself, "Perhaps we both know."
Ragan nodded and rode in silence beside her, often glancing off into the woods to look at a deer or bird she had not even heard or knew was there. For almost an hour they rode this way until at last she could see father's house on the horizon. "The way will come but once be steadfast!" Kit took a deep breath to clear her mind...obviously she was hearing things as she heard the voice again. Finally they were about to arrive...she hoped desperately that they had arrived in a timely manner.
Ragan pulled reigns and stopped his mount. "Kit there is something I need to tell you." Kit reigned in her mount beside Ragan and turned in her saddle to look directly at him...they were so close to her father's house...but perhaps a few more minutes would not matter.
The white light off in the distance was like the sun calling to her. Off in the direction they had come, across a large open field. It was a little way away. "Be steadfast." "When I left my master..." he began
The arch seemed to be of silver and sunlight... it was where she had to be and she knew it. The acrid smell of sickness was so close to her... she could almost feel her father dying. This moment was so important...surely not now. Her jaw hung loose as the realization dawned on her and she sadly turned her horse toward the direction of the Arch. "Oh...Light...forgive me." Kit steeled her face to be cold as that of the Aes Sedai she had become, but she was filled with sadness.
"Kit? Where are you going? Please wait." Ragan followed her towards the arch but his eyes did not see anything but her. "If you don't want to hear this that's fine. I know duty now, I know honor… I'VE FOUND MYSELF! Light I've done it! Let's go to your father. Heal him…we don't have to talk about this. I'll forget it and serve you well. I am your brother to battle Sedai! Let's go back." The arch was yards away yet and Ragan kept following but he could not hide the pain in his heart she felt over the bond. Great joy and tremendous pain.
Kit shook her head sadly as Ragan rode alongside her. "There is no time to tell you, but I must be going... Please forgive me and take care of my father." Tears began to drip slowly down her face, still held in its denial of the deep feelings that were raging inside of her. She knew that Ragan could feel the deepness of her pain and hopefully, one day, he would understand. As they neared the Arch, she dismounted and gave Star one final pat on the cheek and flashed one final, tear stained smile at her Warder...hoping that it contained all the feelings that she had for him. She slowly turned away and ran for the arch. "Be steadfast the way comes but once!"
Ragan's face was full of tears, something she had never seen before. "We'll die without you. You know we will... Kit! I love you!" He had never said those words before but there they were now. He loved her and she could feel it in the bond and in his voice. "Don't leave me alone again." "…comes but once... The light flickered.
Kit moaned as the words were heard and felt...her feet slowed as she walked toward the arch, but she did not stop. Within touching distance of the Arch, she stopped, long enough to whisper one thing before she stepped through. "And I love you...I'm sorry." Her foot raised and she stepped into the silvery archway.
She could feel the love and pain slip away, the love that was Ragan's love. He faded into the whiteness and disappeared...forever... The cold stone was her welcome as her bare knees scrapped against it. She could hear Arie, Arette, Nyna, and Telcia gasping. Other voices thanking the Light and Mellyn's hands coming into her line of sight.
Slowly, the tears leaked down Kit's face...she could stop them no sooner than she could stop a torrent leaking from a split dam. She cried for Ragan and her father. She knew that possibly it was not real at all...but how could feelings as these not be real? She knelt on the cold stone, tears streaming down her face. She didn't even feel the cold of the bare stone, her skinned knees, nor the stares of the Sisters around her. "I'm so sorry...Light forgive me."
Mellyn put her arms around Kit and helped her to her knees. Karana Majin, the Amyrlin Seat, held the last chalice and slowly poured the water over the girl's body sending chills throughout it. "You are washed clean of "Kit" Eriya Deranin from Caemlyn. You are washed clean of all ties that bind you to the world. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul. You are "Kit" Eriya Deranin, Accepted of the White Tower." Handing the chalice to Arette, the Amyrlin drew Kit to her feet.
"You are sealed to us, now." The Amyrlin spoke again, kissing herr cheek. Kit hardly knew what was happening around her...as much as she had wanted to study the Ter'Angreal, she was glad it was over. Kit tried to smile at the Sisters around her, to show everyone that she was well, but she couldn't force her mouth in to a smile. "You are sealed to us now." The words hardly sank in…though...this was what she had come to the Tower for.
She was well on her way now, following her dream. Kit knew that life was hard, but she didn't know if she could face such hardships again. The memories from her arches sent fresh tears to pool slowly and roll down her face.
All the gathered Aes Sedai sent sympathetic and understanding glances, but words were not spoken. Arette handed Kit her new white-banded dress and Telcia took her hand to place the great serpent ring upon her finger. "I’m so very sorry for the pain you feel but I am glad you are one of us now." Telcia softly whispered in to Kit's ear. Through the tears, Kit smiled at her and at each Sister who caught her eye. She whispered softly so that hopefully some of them could hear her, "I could not have done it without all of your help." She gave Arette a longer look than the rest and a braver smile.
She stared at the dress in her hand and the ring on her finger. The Great Serpent Ring and the Banded Accepted Dress. She realized that she was still sopping wet and naked and hurried to shrug the dress over her head, thankful for the warmth it provided. Kit's head turned back slowly to stare at the arches she had just left. Seeming dull and non-impressive now.
"You have the rest of the night to yourself child. Do what you will." Arette spoke in low tones. "If you want, I will come to your room and we will talk." Kit slowly nodded and then they left the new Accepted to find her way back on her own to her empty rooms to sit, and cry, and think about what might be.
