When I attended Bear Creek, students made fun of my effeminate voice and mannerisms and threatened me with slurs, all because I am gay. Of course, students merely suspected that I was gay; I didn't come out until my freshman year at Northwestern University, where I am now a junior. But before I made it to college, I had to survive high school. It was not always easy, and now it serves as a frightening reminder of why so many gay teenagers kill themselves. When I read in November that a group of educational, religious and mental health organizations had released to every public school district in the nation a booklet, "Just the Facts About Sexual Orientation and Youth: A Primer for Principals, Educators and School Personnel," I wondered what Bear Creek would do with it. I suspect the faculty and staff remain unaware that students, especially boys, are harassed and labeled "fags" every day simply because they have effeminate mannerisms, enjoy the fine arts or, heaven forbid, have the courage to express affection for their own sex. The irony, of course, is that gays and lesbians teach at Bear Creek, but they too have chosen to keep the matter private or share it with only a few colleagues. But silence perpetuates the problem. In four years at Bear Creek, I have no clear memories of homosexuality as a topic of class discussion, except for a cursory mention in my freshman health class. The teacher blamed promiscuous gays - a redundancy in his mind, no doubt - for the spread of the AIDS virus, despite that straight women and intravenous drug users are at the highest risk for the deadly disease. Although otherwise ignored by teachers and school staff, homosexuality remained a perennial topic among students, even in the classroom. Among my memories: endless speculation about students who others thought were gay and daily harassment of those students, including myself. I remember sitting in my freshman English class at Bear Creek, where two boys who sat behind me - I still remember their names - constantly kicked my chair and whispered slurs in my ears. After quietly enduring the harassment for months and months, and even asking the boys just to leave me alone, I finally complained to the teacher. He didn't know it had been going on. But other students had noticed it, and it had grown so intense I simply couldn't ignore it anymore. The teacher moved the boys so they didn't sit near me anymore. At least that ended the daily harassment in his classroom, but it didn't address the larger issue. I was too embarrassed to tell the teacher the students were calling me a fag, so he didn't realize the severity of the situation and the boys were not punished. No one even told them it was wrong to call gay people names. True, teenagers make fun of their peers for many perceived faults, including obesity, poverty and, yes, homosexuality. But homosexuality stands alone in that much of society still hasn't come to grips with it. Many well-meaning straight people, including teachers and school administrators, just don't know how to handle the issue. What should they do with students who proclaim they are gay or report harassment based on their perceived sexual orientation? Starting a constructive dialogue about sexual orientation among students and teachers would be a positive first step. Gays shouldn't be a taboo topic, and teachers should make it clear homophobia has no place on campus. Gays have family and friends, aspirations and struggles, just like everyone else. We also have the right not be harassed at school. So, ultimately, gay students should know the faculty will handle their concerns in an appropriate manner if they report harassment. If Bear Creek can have zero tolerance for physical violence, surely it should have no tolerance for harassment that erodes students' sense of self worth and infringes on their right to learn in a non-threatening environment. Schools, even Lodi Unified, are bastions of bigotry. Intolerance toward sexual diversity runs high among adolescents, perhaps because they have learned it at home, perhaps because they are just beginning to understand their own sexual feelings. Whatever the reason, it needs to stop. I hope students, staff and faculty will take the occasion of this national report to give homosexuality more thought, to stand up against bigotry and support students and school employees who have the courage to come out.