What is happening to the sports world today? I can't pick up the sports page or turn on ESPN without seeing a story about professional fishing or figure skating. These are not sports; these don't belong on a sports page or a sports network! More and more "sports" are popping up displaying nothing more than an "athlete's" ability to tilt his/her head at a 20 degree angle and do a couple spins on ice. Oh, and smiling the whole time. Or "sports" where the victor is decided by six people sitting in a booth judging who they feel did better. These judges are there to judge only because they are too overweight or too uncoordinated to participate in any physical activity themselves. Fishing: not a sport. Any activity that can be done by a 300-pound drunk man just as well as a professional is not a sport. Another example of sports slander is cheerleading. I think cheerleading is wonderful. I mean, I can watch cheerleaders for hours, but as far as calling it a sport? Nah, it doesn't work. Competition cheer is based solely on judges and I don't feel that makes it a sport. Sure, they can tie their legs in a know behind their head, but I can see that on any normal Internet porn site and they don't call porn a sport. One activity that we all know isn't a sport is figure skating. An art form? Sure. A sport? No way. Judges have to decide which skater looked more artistic. Sounds more like an art to me. If skaters say figure skating is a sport because the judge picks a winner, does that mean that if I get a couple of judges to watch me and a friend urinate on a car--does that become a sport? How often do you see the neighborhood kids gather in teh street and pair off to participate in a rigorous game of couple figure skating? Some say that the fact that judges follow very specific criteria for judging makes it a sport but the reality of it is, most of the criteria followed is done in an artistic fashion. A skater might have to do a double high loop axle lutz, which means: jump, but they must jump while holding their arms at 45 degree angles and tilting their head while gyrating their butt. I must admit this sounds difficult, but does that mean anything difficult is a sport? If a skater goes out and manages to rub her head in a circular motion and tap her belly simultaneously, does that count as bonus points? Figure skating is nothing more than interpretive dance on ice. Not only is it boring but it also is not a sport. And who can forget the infamous slide-the-oversized-puck-across-the-ice-while-sweeping-away-a-path-and-making-it-stop-in-the-circle sport (a.k.a. curling)? Tell me where the sport is in that because all I see is a bunch of guys doing an impression of the Three Stooges. Curling is right up there with ice shaving for all time non-sports in Olympic competition. Is the world just running out of ideas for sports? Is that how we can explain synchronized swimming in the summer Olympics? I think in order to make something a true sport it must be based on facts. For example: if a guy runs the mile in five minutes and the next guy runs in four minutes than the second guy is the winner. There are no judges to say, "No, the first guy looked much better doing it, the first guy wins." Or if one team scores 100 points and the other team scores 110, then the second team wins. Very simple, very sport. Disclaimer: These are only the views of an ignorant sports editor. The opinions expressed on this page do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Bruin Voice.