These are my poems.
I wrote most of them when I was little, like ten years old.
I was a silly little poet back then, and I wrote a bunch of weird stuff.
I don't write so much poetry now. Now I write weird stories.
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BREAKING STUFF

"I tied string around a jug
Same string around a mug
Between the pears
On teetered chairs
Care to give it a tug?"

"No thank you," I reply.
And he sat down with a sigh.
Ideas ring
Mine came with a zing
I decided to give it a try.

Just oh, good luck for me,
He started snoring loud as a bee
The string I took
My fingers shook
I tied it around his knee.

CRACK the sound that cups make
CRASH how many things did break?
BAM CLATTER
CLUNK SHATTER
I think he is now awake.


SENILE

During the raid,
the mistress prayed,
that that her husband
would not renegade.
His memory was soon to fade
His memory will soon be bade
Bye bye


CRIME!

In every town that have bells to chime
There is a street there is a mime.
Every day he got a dime
until a man comitted crime.
The man's face was covered in slime
he waved his knife at the helpless mime
But he got away in the nick of time
But I won't tell you how cuz I'm sick of rhyme.


Dan and Fran

There was a woman and there was a man.
The guy was named Dan and the other was Fran.
Their buddy hated blacks and his name was Stan.
They hung out on Fridays with Stan's wife Jan.
One day Stan invited them to join a clan
And Jan, Stan, Dan, Fran drove in an old red van.
They got to a house where they met another man
He said, "Hello! Welcome here to the Ku Klux Klan!"
Everyone there sat talking, eating Raisin Bran
and they all came up with an elaborate plan
to harass people with black skin, Jew skin, and tan.
"This is a strange meeting," Dan said to Fran.
Fran said, "Ya, the KKK sucks, my man."
Let's leave.


A MUST

It is a must
for wet blades to rust,
And it's also a must
for maids to dust.
But do you think it's a must
for trees to be bust?
No, it isn't just.


THE GHOST IN THE STALL

Embaress yourself at a shopping mall
So shut yourself in a bathroom stall
A ghost appears big and tall
Scream and run out to the hall
You're so scared you start to bawl
On the flip your boyfriend call
You say, "Nothing is good at all
He comforts you you say, "Oh Paul
"Do you think I'm off the wall?"


LEAD LOVE
The pencil I'm holding
is very smart.
It always writes fast
as quick as a dart.
It can do math
and it can draw art.
And my pencil, for me,
draws me a heart.


YELLOW LIGHT
I like the yellow light.
The yellow light is good.
The yellow light with stalactite
And pokey stalagmite

I like the yellow light.
With yellow light I've stood.
The yellow light has kept my sight
While darkness climbs the height.


BAD DAY
This morning I got up at noon
on the wrong side of the bed
And I had the most unpleasant dream
I dreamed that I was dead.
Everything that happed went all wrong
cuz I felt half asleep
So when I tried to do stuff
I just ended in a heap.
I did homework, math problems
I couldn't comprehend
All day I despaired
that this nightmare'd never end.


FRESH PAGE
The most beautiful thing in the world to me
is a page of notebook paper freshly.
Line after line of straight pastel blue
and the in-between white unspoiled and new.
The sharp corners flat not a wrinkle in sight
Full of anticipation, inspiration it call
Until a pencil smudge ruins it all.


ON THE ROOF
One evening I got on the roof
to read a book up high
"The view is beautiful," I thought
as I watched robins fly.
I looked over to the west,
where sky was pastel pink,
The orange sun as bright as fire
soon began to sink.
I closed the book and walked around
and looked around the glory
The scene was too attractive just
to read a little story.


ICK
Merry Christmas to you,
You won a trip to the zoo.
You got to see a phesant
Plus you also got a present.
In it was a card,
On the card were words.
The words said "Merry Christmas to you
You get to come back from the zoo."
When you came back to your home,
On your bed sat a smug gnome,
Who asked for a big bag of candy
And a big bottle of brandy.
When his wish was granted,
His grin was so greedy
That his head broke in two
And out came some goo...
Merry Christmas to you!


MEET THE SUN
Sunburnt I'm not
Boredom I've fought
Someday I'll run
Outside and meet the sun.


NOTHING
I think I've hit the wall
I can't do anything more
For a while I'll do nothing at all
DR. CLAW FIXED MY JAW

I felt sick so I told ma,
And she took me to Dr. Claw.
He told me to say "ah",
Then he wrote down the stuff he saw.
He thought a minute and then,"Aha!
"You have got Jawgimia!"
The doctor turned around to pa
Told him I had to eat eggs raw
For every lunch, with a straw.
I did that and then volia,
It really really fixed my jaw!
Hurrah!


SAY WHAT?

It will rain,
If you go on the train.
But you can't stand the pain
of being sane.
And to be vain
is insane,
since there's a stain
on your windowpane.
When you go down Horsey Lane,
be careful of the Horsey's mane
unless it rains
and they owtlaw brains.
It's inhumane
to "own" a Great Dane,
because after all, it's going to rain
since you're riding the train.


WAS IT MY SINGING?

At the dance we should've been dancing,
But I wanted to prove I CAN sing.
I sounded so charming.
You found me alarming,
Is that why you ran over to Lansing?


sMART aL

There once was a boy named Al Button
At school he sat doin' nothin'
He refused to do work
And he spoke with a smirk
So he was sent to Mr. Dunton


MEANING OF THE MONTH

I am from the galaxy,
a million eyes staring at me
do not look or you will burn
dark in front of their concern.
Think before you think of that,
unless you want to have a spat
shameless I am going to leave
before you can even more decieve.
Turn your speakers to the side,
against the rules you won't abide.
Even then you'll never yet see
a chorus listening intently.

I am from the galaxy.
Why won't you not ever see
if you won't close your eyes not once
you'll miss the meaning of the month.


VIOLENT TRAIN OF EGGS

I don't want to mess with the eggmobile,
I never saw anything so unreal.
It had as many eggs as it could carry,
And it was so definitely scary.
Also, (this made me freeze my legs),
They were actually throwing eggs.
Some lucky ducks brought parasols,
The rest of us ducked down like moles.
When one went splat on the back of my head,
That time I saw red.
I zigzagged to the running train,
And suddenly a thought came to my brain
As I tripped over my flowered skirt hem:
"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."


This Bear

Don't ask me about this bear
When I came home it was already there.
It was moved by aliens from the North Pole
But she doesn't seem to care.

I didn't want my head knocked off
so I gave her some beef stroganoff
and tofu, spinach and lentil stew
But then I started to cough.

She looked at me and raised her paw
Oh the bear was going to eat me raw!
I offered her more chunky stuff
But what she did next I never saw.


MR MUNNY
Mr. Munny's grinning at you.
He's a really friendly guy.
He's sitting there, in his chair,
in his suit and tie.

Quite a gentleman he is,
listening quietly
While we're just blabbing
back and forth, you and me.

But is he really smiling at you,
or is he staring ahead?
Lemme sort of feel his -- God!!
Mr. Munny's dead!


TOMORROW MORN
Tomorrow morn
a day will born
not too forlorn
Tomorrow morn

Tomorrow morn
blow the horn
fleece will shorn
Tomorrow morn

Tomorrow morn
pick the corn
cut the thorn
Tomorrow morn

Tomorrow morn
listen to KoRn
watch some porn
Tomorrow morn


RADIO AT NIGHT
A magical feeling
Listening to the radio
Late at night
All else dead silent
Alone with my thoughts
Undisturbed


TO-DO LIST
Wax the floor,
and close the door.
Do the taxes.
Wait, there's more!

clean the carpet
dust the harp and
feed the cats
shake off the mats
do the laundry
trim the lawn tree
arrange the shoes
and wipe the ooze
clean out the sink
perfume the stink
get carrots stewed
put out the food
get the paper
find the stapler
dry-clean the dress
now when do I rest?

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