On January of this year, GidDoctor Simon Barings (below, with tree) CONCLUSIVELY PROVED that thousands of years ago, Gid, in all his divine and insecure glory, WAS SCARED AT THE SIZE OF THE TURTLE, AND HESITATED!! Follows is his AMAZING story of glorious inspiration and spleen denial -

    "I have been a devout Gidian all my life, raised on only Cooked Chicken and Sauce, and I have memorised most of the passages of the Book of Gid, except for the really stupid ones. One the the stories in the inspired Book which has always fascinated me is the story of the creation, in particular The Turtle and The Great Hesitation. I love that Gid was  intimidated by his own creation - when I was ten I made a airplane out of Lego and I cut my finger on the wing. So The Great Hesitation has always had particular resonance for me.

    There is a forest behind the secret military facility near my house, and it has always had really tall trees for as long as I can remember. One day I was picking up corpses in the forest, and I came upon this tree which I had never seen before in the middle of a lake which I had. This was the tallest tree in the forest (a fact which I realised once I had cut it down), and it seemed to have some sort of Glorious aura to it, like it was a sign from Gid. There was a literal sign from Gid actually ON the tree, which read 'Chop Me.' So I got my boat, rowed out to the tree, and chopped it down slowly. As I did, I felt the warm presence of Gid and His breath in my ear, which smelt vaguely of beer. This was one of the greatest moments in my life. I just knew that Gid was with me that afternoon! So I chopped and chopped, and finally the tree crashed into the water with a glorious crack. I chopped off a small portion of the tree, and brought it home so that I could study it further under the a strong light and the His guidance.

    What I saw was amazing! There was an enormous gap in the tree rings, at an area that I would calculate to be a VERY LONG TIME AGO, just when Gid was creating the world! This was surely the Great Hesitation, I thought to myself.I have included the sample which I took here. Look at the white spot near the arrow! And amazing gap in growth, which means that GID WAS WAITING!!! What was Gid waiting for, you skeptics may ask? Refer to the Book of Gid!

" From this seed grew a giant Turtle, so big that the eye could not see all of it at once, unless the eye was very far away. Even Gid was amazed at the size of Turtle, it scared him a little, and he hesitated before doing anything else"
        - The Book of Gid, 'Creation'

With such compelling evidence, HOW CAN ANYBODY DENY THE ONE TRUE GID? [emphasis added by Editor] This has truly changed my life... I have gone from being just a 'steak and two veg' Gidian to a fully dedicated Gidian, committed to spreading the Book of Gid to everybody I can see, or hear about. Fast!"

But of course the Church of Gid's Proof Division isn't just going to take the word of some redneck who thinks that he has uncovered proof of The Great Hesitation. We sent out a large team GidDoctors, including the highly respected GidDoctor Thutmoose and GidDoctor Gopian to where this tree was, and they examined the evidence themselves, for as long as the cab-driver would wait. Their findings COMPLETELY AGREE with Simon's assessment! Gid came to the team that evening at the pub and confirmed the legitimacy of the ring sample, but mentioned that instead of chopping down trees, it would be probably easier for them to ask Him personally.

We thank Gid for the proof which should FINALLY PUT TO REST ANY QUESTIONS OF THE REALITY OF OUR RELIGION, OR OF OUR MENTAL COMPETENCY. Gid has truly been with us in the past couple of months.