In August of 1921, the King of Ivory Coast, King Matmdi ordered a new, English translation of the Book of Gid, which was to impart both the message of Gid and any political propaganda which would be useful to stabilise the King’s regime. This mind-bogglingly modern and comprehensive translation is now recognised as the only legitimate version of the Glorious work. Matmdi employed an army of underpaid slaves and a Gidian consultant in the job, which took over two weeks without food.
The Masdia (the first eleven chapters of the Book of Gid, starting with the Introduction and ending with Praying to Gid) was based on the Herminan Masdia Text, a work in the original Braille, which has been preserved for decades in the Library of Herman. Some of the minor spelling errors have been corrected, and the word ‘chode’, long considered to be a practical joke, has been removed from The Book. Discrepancies between the Herminian text and other texts have been either ignored or the offending works destroyed.
The Gidian History has been taken from a Kurdish manuscript on display in Nepal, but in a few instances the translation has been based on common sense.
Translating the masterful work of Gid’s prophets is a daunting task for any linguist, but, aided by a bottle of Scotch, a few late nights and the power of Gid, King Matmdi’s slave-labourers have created the definitive version of The Glorious Book of Gid.
Any other translations (such as the New Revised Standard International Version, and the International Good Revised Glorious Version) have been created by spleen worshippers and devotees. It is the spleen which urges men and women to read these heretical texts, as they change the Glorious Word, they miss out vital footnotes. It is the spleen which creates these unGlorious versions of His Book. Imagine if everybody was required to recite Psalm 3, and they had all memorised different translations!! Pandemonium, and confusion. Why would you be a Gidian, and decide to read an INFERIOR and HERETICAL edition, after having gone to the effort of accepting Gid into your heart? How could you be so callous and ignorant?
- GidDoctor D. Puddy, G.V.