Dear Church of Gid,

I am Julian Morris, and I used to be a respectable Pagan. I was brought up to be a good Pagan; my parents, both of whom practised Witchcraft and Satanry used to take me to all the midnight forest ceremonies. One of my earliest memories is eating the leg of a kidnapped policeman. But as I grew up, as much as I loved the company of all my fellow cannibals, I began to see that there just wasn't something there in Paganism, and I craved that other 'something'.

My moment of clarity occured one ceremony when we were preparing a polar bear for mummification. I had instructed that I was to take out the bear's brain through its nose. In preparation I had been drinking Vodka since lunchtime. When finally they gave me the coathanger, and pointed me towards the bear, I suddenly saw Gid standing behind the poor animal, chatting up some Pagan chick. I knew it was Gid instantly, because he was wearing his I Am Gid t-shirt  It was then I realised how wrong I had been. I did the mummification, but my heart wasn't really in it, and I was no longer feeling that deep emotional connect to the candles and pentagon that I had been.

When I got home I went straight to the internet and looked up your site. I read the Book of Gid three times in the early hours of the morning. I read the footnotes. By the midday I was sending emails to the French Consulate hourly! I looked to the sky, and I knew, Gid was truly with me sometimes, and other times he was just entertaining Himself. And I thank Him for his selfishness, because I wouldn't want my deity to think about me all the time, it would be a little scary.

I have seen Gid several times since that fateful sacrifical ceremony, and each time he has come to be in a different guise. But I always want to know, did Gid pick up that Pagan chick, and is she now too a Gidian like me? I hope that he did, and I hope that she is.

Julian Morris.