Blurry-eyed, Harry rolled out of bed and stumbled to his bathroom. He switched on the tap and, splashing cold water all over his face, cleared the sleep from his eyes. Feeling slightly more awake, Harry picked up his glasses and made his way down stairs. He would put in his contacts later, after his shower, when he wasn't half asleep and likely to poke his eyes out.

On his way through the lounge, Harry glanced at the clock on the mantel. When he saw the time, Harry's eyes bulged. It was nearly noon! So much for him being good and getting lots of things done today! Bloody Seamus, Harry thought grumpily. Seamus had kept him up half the night and then woken him up early in the morning.

Disgruntled, Harry barged into the kitchen. Sirius was already in there, sitting at the kitchen table. He had the daily prophet open in front of him and he couldn't have been up much longer than Harry because he was still wearing his pyjamas and there was a bowl of half eaten cereal on the table.

"Good morning Harry!" Sirius said in a happy voice and he looked up from the newspaper to grin at Harry.

Harry raised a brow, his lip curling up slightly at the look on his godfathers face. Sirius was trying to annoy him, Harry realised, refusing to bite. "Morning," he grunted, flicking on the kettle.

Thankfully, Sirius had the tendency to leave things out so all the products Harry needed to make his breakfast were on the bench. As he waited for the water to boil, Harry poured some cereal into a bowl, added some milk and then a spoonful of sugar.

"Did Seamus leave already?" Sirius asked as he watched Harry thumping around in the kitchen.

"He left really early this morning," Harry muttered, as he fixed himself some tea. "He said to say goodbye, and thanks for having him…" He was certain Seamus had said other things, the boy had nattered away for ages, but Harry had been far too tired to listen. It must have been about five o'clock in the morning when Seamus had woken Harry to tell him he was leaving.

"Still not a morning person, I see," Sirius said in a dry voice and Harry smiled despite himself. Perhaps he was being a little too cranky, Harry thought to himself; but he was tired.

Picking up his breakfast things, Harry walked over to the table and sat opposite Sirius. His godfather returned to reading his paper, leaving Harry to eat his breakfast in peace. Harry chomped away at his cereal happily and with every mouthful he felt the energy slowly working into his body. By the time he was nearly finished, he felt completely awake and more than ready to cope with the pressures of the day.

"What are you doing today?" Harry asked as he scooped up the dregs from the bowl.

"We Harry," said Sirius, smiling sweetly at his godson, "are going shopping."

"Did you forget to buy Christmas presents again?" Harry chuckled.

"I didn't forget," Sirius muttered, sounding offended. "I just kept putting it off."

"But I've already got mine," Harry teased.

"Harry, I'm not going alone. The shops will be a bloody nightmare," Sirius said, pulling out the not often used parental sounding voice.

"How many do you have to get?" Harry asked curiously; he'd already decided he would go with. Sirius was absolutely hilarious when he went shopping. His godfather liked to make wise cracks about the things in the shops and he always managed to keep Harry in stitches.

"Well, there's yours, Remus', Dumbledore's…"

Cutting off his godfather before Sirius could bore him with a long list, Harry said amusedly, "Pretty much everyone you know then."

"Pretty much," Sirius agreed, chuckling. "Diagon Alley is going to be so busy though, maybe we should go to muggle shops instead," Sirius added in a thoughtful voice.

"Leaving your Christmas shopping to the last minute isn't just a wizarding thing, Sirius. Muggles do it too!"

"Bugger," Sirius grumbled.

"Well, that will teach you for leaving things to the last minute," Harry teased in his own version of the parental tone and he got up from the table. Sirius muttered something under his breath and Harry chuckled as he took the breakfast dishes to the sink.

They could wash them later. If they were going to go shopping, they should go soon. Sirius had so many presents to buy; they would probably have to spend hours at the shops, Harry thought to himself. He quickly put the cereal away and was just putting the milk back in the fridge, where it belonged, when a strange noise sounded in the house.

"What's that?" Sirius said, looking about the room with a confused look on his face.

It wasn't until he heard the sound for the second time that Harry recognized it and when he did, he snorted in amusement. With wizards having more immediate forms of transportation, it wasn't very often they had to bother with front doors. "It's the doorbell. Someone must be at the front door," Harry explained.

"Oh right. Do you want me to?"

Harry shook his head. He wanted to know who was at the door. It couldn't be anyone they knew very well or they would just have flooed straight in. He hoped it wasn't anyone important because he was still wearing his pyjamas. "You go get dressed, Sirius," Harry said, smiling at his godfather. "I'll go see who it is."

Pulling his winter cloak more securely around his body, Fred shuffled on the spot to keep warm. It was absolutely freezing outside. Every time he exhaled, Fred could see his breath come out and it looked like he was smoking. Fred had been standing outside Harry's house for the last ten minutes, trying to pluck up the courage to ring the doorbell and getting colder by the second. He wouldn't have even needed to be out in the cold if he'd just apparated straight into Harry's house but he hadn't felt right about doing that; he wasn't really welcome at Harry's house anymore.

Huddled between the folds of his cloak, Fred leaned awkwardly towards the door and pressed the doorbell. He waited a couple of seconds and then pressed it again, before taking a step back from the door. If Harry answered, he didn't want to overwhelm him by being in his face. But he did hope Harry answered. He doubted he would even get in if Sirius chose to answer the door.

After a couple of minutes spent waiting in the cold, Fred was contemplating ringing again when he heard someone fiddling with the latch from the other side. Please be Harry, Fred thought, finding himself suddenly sick with nervousness. What did he think he was doing? This was a tremendously bad idea!

As the door opened, Fred caught his first sight of Harry in weeks. Smiling and looking slightly ruffled, as though he hadn't been up long, Harry pulled the door open wide and stepped forward to greet the visitor before he bothered to take a proper look at the person out the front of his house. When his eyes did land on Fred, the smile on his face died and the colour drained from his cheeks. Harry took a step back, looking stunned.

Fighting away his fear, Fred forces himself to speak. "Hello Harry," he managed to say in a shaky voice.

Harry's shoulders tensed and, as he wrapped his arms protectively around his middle, a hurt look appeared on his face. "What are you doing here?" he said in a strangled voice.

George was right, Fred realised sadly. Whether or not he was still seeing Malfoy, Harry was still upset about what he had done and it would probably be difficult to get Harry to let him explain.

"I know I'm probably the last person you want to see," - Harry looked at him for a second as if to say yes, before looking back at the ground. Fred gulped but managed to continue in a quaking voice - "I really need to speak to you, Harry, there are some things I need to explain; things you need to understand."

Silence followed his words. Harry wouldn't so much as look at him; he had his head lowered and his arms were still wrapped protectively around his body. Fred could see that Harry's brow was creased as though he was having trouble even understanding Fred's request, let alone making a decision one way or the other.

"Please Harry," Fred tried again, not caring if he sounded like he was begging. "Can I just come in for a minute? I really need to tell you this. It's important."

Harry looked up slowly and met Fred's gaze. The pain he felt by Fred's presence was clearly written all over his face and Fred felt his stomach sink with guilt. Fred was so busy mentally bashing himself that he nearly missed hearing Harry's quiet "Okay."

"Come in," Harry said in a soft voice, his lips trembling as he stepped back from the door, allowing Fred to enter.

"Thanks," Fred muttered gratefully, shuffling into the house. He stood very close to the wall as he waited for Harry to shut and lock the door. And when Harry scuttled past, he was very careful not to touch the other boy. Taking a deep, calming breath, Fred followed Harry.

"Who was it Harry?" Fred heard Sirius yell from somewhere, and when they got to the lounge he noticed Sirius was hovering half way up the stairs looking down at Harry curiously. When his eyes landed on Fred, Sirius scowled. "What are you doing here?" There was a dangerous pitch to Sirius' voice and it made Fred shiver apprehensively.

"I just want a word with Harry," Fred stammered in explanation as Sirius turned to come back down the stairs.

"Its okay Sirius," Harry said, moving towards his godfather. "I need to talk to him." Sirius paused at the bottom of the stairs and, as he looked at his godson, his face softened.

"Are you sure?"

"I'll be fine," said Harry, his voice quietly confident.

"Well, I'll be upstairs if you need me," he said to Harry and before stomping up the stairs, he glared at Fred warningly. Without needing to speak Sirius had managed to let Fred know that if he did anything to hurt Harry he would have one seriously pissed off Godfather to deal with.

"Sorry about that," Harry said as he sat down on the couch.

Standing awkwardly to the side, Fred muttered, "Don't worry about it. I wouldn't have blamed him if he'd hexed me." He looked from the couch to the two vacant armchairs, not sure where to sit.

"You can sit down," Harry said, pointing at one of the two armchairs.

Smiling sadly to himself, Fred settled himself on the edge of the closest armchair and looked at Harry thoughtfully. Harry seemed to want him as far away as possible. Even though there was already a coffee table between them, it didn't seem to be enough for Harry. He was sitting as far back on the couch as he could, with his feet up on the seat and his arms clamped around his legs. All Fred could see over Harry's bent knees was the top of his head and Harry's eyes, obscured as they were by his glasses. In silence, he stared at Fred expectantly.

Feeling uncomfortable under the weight of Harry's gaze, Fred stared down at his hands. When he got his feelings under control, he forced himself to meet Harry's eyes; "There was never anyone else."

Harry reeled back, "What?" he asked confusedly.

In an emotionless voice, Fred explained everything to Harry. How he had gone to see Ginny and all the things that had happened before their date. How she had pressured him to break up with Harry and about her threat if he didn't listen. With every piece of information, Harry's shock seemed to increase and he didn't once interrupt. Fred described what had happened the night before, when Ginny had come over to apologise but he didn't mention that he knew about Draco.

"I was so happy to be with you, Harry," Fred continued and some emotion finally entered his voice. "You have to believe me, I never wanted to break up with you, even for a second, but I had to and I'm sorry…"

Fred sat back in his chair and waited for Harry to say something. The boy looked thoroughly confused, and his face had once more lost its colour. "So basically, you broke up with me because Ginny told you to?" Harry asked after a moment. He sounded as though he was still trying to get his mind around what Fred had said.

"Yes," Fred said quietly, "There was never anyone else - hasn't been anyone else since we broke up." Fred needed Harry to know that. Whether or not he forgave him, it was important to Fred that Harry knew how much he'd meant to him. Breaking up with Harry had been the hardest thing he'd ever had to do and the period after had been the most miserable in his life - and it was still going.

"Why did you lie to me?" Harry asked disbelievingly.

Fred's brow furrowed, "I just told you why."

"I don't mean about Ginny," Harry said impatiently. "Why did you tell me there was someone else, when there wasn't?"

"I thought it would be easier for you…"

"Easier for me?" Harry repeated in a sharp voice. "How could thinking you'd been cheating on me, be easier?"

"I came straight from meeting with Ginny to seeing you. I was very upset and I wasn't thinking clearly at the time. I didn't want to break up with you but I thought I had to, and I wanted to do it in a way that hurt you the least," - Harry's face hardened at these words and Fred hastened to explain what he meant - "I just thought that if I made you hate me, you wouldn't end up so upset," Fred trailed off shrugging his shoulders helplessly. Now that he tried to explain, it didn't make any sense. Whatever he had of said would have hurt Harry.

"You could have just told me the truth," Harry said, looking at Fred with a hurt look on his face and shaking his head sadly. "We could have worked something out together."

Fred smiled glumly, "I've thought about that everyday since it happened. There are so many things I should have done… but I didn't. Ginny pressured me into this, but I lied to you and I'm the one who gave up, even though I had George and Oliver telling me to go talk to you. I should have come to you long before now but everything seemed so impossible, I thought it was too late and I was so miserable I couldn't really do anything. I made some very bad decisions and I just hope you can forgive me because I can't take this anymore. I've been falling apart since we broke up, I miss you so badly." Fred's shoulders slumped, as though it had been particularly tiring confessing all that to Harry and, when he spoke again his voice came out in a ghostly whisper. "I don't want to loose you…"

He looked up to find Harry staring at him with a strange expression on his face. Fred felt tears welling in his eyes but he didn't look away. He could not care less about his pride; Harry had to know he was sincere.

Harry was the first to look away. With a sigh he lowered his head to his knees. His fingers scrunched up in his unruly black hair, pulling at the strands agitatedly as though he was still having trouble understanding what had actually happened.

Fred waited for Harry to say something, anything. As the minutes ticked by, the tense silence stretched between them and Fred felt his worry increase. What the hell would he do if Harry didn't forgive him? What if they couldn't even be friends? Fred didn't think he could bare it…

No, Harry thought, shaking his head. He couldn't be mad at Ginny; it wasn't fair. There was clearly something wrong with her state of mind. He had never given her any reason to think there could be anything between them. Although, Fred's explanation certainly shed some light on why Ginny had been behaving so peculiarly lately. Her constant attempts to get him to spend time with her and the bloody ID bracelet she'd given him, all made sense now that he knew what she'd been thinking. Harry doubted he would ever trust her again, but he knew he couldn't be mad with her - she just needed help. Badly.

Harry couldn't be so generous with Fred. Harry had been much closer to Fred than he ever had been to Ginny; therefore, it was only natural, Fred's betrayal should affect him more deeply. He was angry with Fred, and annoyed. None of this would have happened if Fred had just told him the truth instead of lying and making up a ridiculous story about having another lover. How could Fred have been so stupid? Harry wondered, tugging at his hair fiercely. Fred was nearly twenty years old! Surely one developed enough commonsense by that age not to let themselves be blackmailed by their baby sister? Obviously not in Fred's case, Harry thought bitterly.

He should have felt elated! Since they'd broken up, he'd often fantasized about Fred coming to tell him that he'd made the wrong choice, that he wanted Harry and not the mysterious lover he'd left him for, and in these fantasies, Harry would always forgive him and they would sail off into the sunset to live happily ever after. Yet, here Fred was telling him that there had never even been anyone else and it didn't make Harry happy. If anything it made him miserable. Everything he'd been through had been for nothing. All the horrible thoughts he'd had about himself being not good enough for Fred; the old fears of being alone that had resurfaced after his break up and, not to mention, the general misery that tended to accompany any emotional break up; had all been entirely unnecessary.

Hearing Fred sigh tiredly, Harry's hands stilled in his hair and he lifted his head. "Where are you going?" Harry said in a slightly panicked voice, when he saw that Fred was on his feet. Fred couldn't leave yet; there were still things they needed to sort out.

"I just came here to tell you the truth, and that I'm sorry, and now that I've done that, I'm just going to go," Fred said quietly. "Good luck with Malfoy," he added at the same time as Harry said, "Don't go yet."

It took a second for Fred's words to sink through to his brain and when it did Harry gasped. "How do you know about that?"

"Ginny saw you together," Fred said slowly. Harry wasn't surprised. It seemed as though his 'relationship' with Draco was the worlds worst kept secret. They'd had more bad luck than any clandestine affair in history. It probably didn't even count as a secret affair now that Seamus, Ginny, Fred and probably George knew about it, not to mention Hermione knew that Draco had had a thing for Harry.

"Explain," Harry said with a sigh, and he pointed at the chair, expecting Fred to sit down. Fred looked at the empty space on the couch beside Harry with a sad expression on his face but he did as he was told, slowly lowering his body into the armchair.

Harry gestured for Fred to continue; he wanted to know the full story and he found it a little hard to believe that Fred had managed to wait so long before mentioning Draco. He probably thought Harry was crazy to have ever had anything to do with the Slytherin. And as Fred explained what he knew, which admittedly wasn't every much, Harry listened.

When he was finished recounting the story Ginny had told him about Harry and Draco, and how it had affected his sister, Fred asked in a strained voice, "Was is serious with Malfoy?"

"No, it was never serious," Harry, laughed shortly, "And its over now anyway. We decided to end things yesterday."

Fred looked up hopefully, then his face clouded over in confusion. "I thought you hated each other. You always seemed to when I was at school."

"We did."

"Then how?"

Harry gave a ruthful smile, "Things change Fred. He pursued me from the first day of school this year, and after we broke up, there really didn't seem to be a point saying no anymore." Harry shrugged, he didn't owe Fred more than that, what had happened between Draco and himself, was private.

"It could have been anyone then?" Fred said, looking guiltily at Harry.

"No, it couldn't," said Harry, thinking of his time with Draco almost fondly. "Only Draco could be that persistent…"

"Right," Fred said slowly. Harry doubted the boy really understood but he presumed Fred didn't want to talk about Malfoy anymore, for which Harry was entirely grateful.

Once again a tense silence stretched between them but this time Fred didn't even attempt to leave. Harry ran everything over in his mind again, looking at it all from different perspectives. As he thought about Fred's decisions, Harry felt his anger towards Fred slowly evaporate. There was no point dwelling on the 'what ifs', he had to focus on the here and now, and how he felt.

Harry shifted on the couch, dropping his feet to the ground and rested his elbows on his knees. He cupped his face in his hands and took his first real look at Fred. Before he'd only glanced at Fred with quick unfocussed looks, preferring to keep his eyes trained on the carpet or the wall. It had made him feel less uncomfortable in Fred's presence and had allowed him to keep a check on his emotions, because it certainly wasn't easy being in the same room with his ex-lover.

Fred looked terrible. Harry wondered how he could possibly have missed noticing how gaunt and shadowed Fred's face was, or how tired he looked. His clothes, though still of the finest quality, didn't sit right. Every line of his body screamed defeat and he was practically a walking, talking advertisement for depression. Obviously Fred hadn't been lying when he'd said he had been falling apart since they broke up, Harry thought to himself, neither happy nor saddened by the realisation. Knowing they had both suffered really wasn't any consolation to Harry.

Breaking the silence, Fred said, "What now?" The words were so simple, so ordinary, but the tremble in his voice gave away the deeper meaning.

"I don't know," said Harry, voice coming out in a rush of air. He looked into Fred's eyes and smiled sadly; he really didn't know.

"I know what I want to happen," Fred said, voice sounding forced. Harry cocked his head to the side, silently encouraging Fred to continue. "I wish we could try again."

Harry stared at him, wishing things could be that simple but they weren't; he didn't feel the same way about Fred anymore. "I want to say yes but…" Harry shrugged his shoulders.

Fred nodded, and said knowingly, "But you can't forgive me."

"Its not that Fred," Harry said shaking his head. In time he could definitely get over the lies, Fred had never intentionally tried to hurt him. Harry understood that much; it would just take time for him to get over it. The real problem was much more significant. "Under pressure you made a bad decision, a very bad decision. But it's all just so unreal, to be honest…"

"I've been through all this shit for no reason, but it did happen. I went though all the emotions and stages anyone goes through after a break up. Even if it you didn't want to end it, all the things I experienced after you broke up with me were real. All the heartache, the self-doubt - all of it I had to experience. For ages I was depressed, crying all the time and it's only lately that I've been feeling better and you drop this on me. Its great and all that you never cheated on me, but it doesn't make all the other stuff go away…"

Fred smiled sadly, nodding his head in understanding. "Do you think there is any chance for us at all?" He asked hopefully.

"I don't know," Harry said and Fred's shoulders slumped. "Yes. Maybe. I don't know." Harry said, his thoughts coming out in a confused rush.

"What?" Fred asked dumbly.

Looking into Fred's confused eyes, Harry smiled tiredly as he tried to think of a fair answer to Fred's question. Could there be a chance? Harry asked himself and he still struggled to think of an answer. Turning things around, Harry tried to imagine how he would feel if he responded with a definite no, and his felt himself blanch at the very idea. He couldn't say no, it was too final.

"I think there could be," Harry said slowly and he noticed Fred perk up at his words, "given time."

"So that's a maybe then," Fred smiled, making a feeble attempt to lighten the conversation.

"Yes, it's a maybe," Harry agreed. "I need some time. I just worked out everything in my life Fred. I've had the most painful term you could imagine and I finally got everything sorted out and now this… Its too much."

Fred opened his mouth as though he was about to speak but when Harry held up his hand, indicating that he wasn't finished, it snapped shut again and Fred listened attentively as Harry explained how he was feeling.

"I wanted the be with you very badly Fred," Harry murmured, referring to how happy he had been just before their date, "and those feelings I had for you were strong. They don't just go away…. They're still there somewhere, buried beneath all the other shit I've felt since you broke up with me. I can't pretend nothing happened. It's too soon for that. And we can't just take up where we left off…"

"I wasn't suggesting that Harry," Fred interrupted. "I thought, if you weren't with Malfoy, and if you still had feelings for me, we could take things slowly, maybe start off with dating." He looked up at Harry hopefully, "Please consider it."

Dating was too much, Harry thought; too much, too soon. It would practically be like trying to take up where they left off and Harry wasn't ready for that kind of involvement with Fred. He could probably make himself, for Fred's benefit, but it would be forced and he seriously doubted they could re-establish anything significant if they pushed things too quickly.

"Please Harry…" Fred pleaded when Harry still didn't say anything.

Knowing he would disappoint Fred but realizing it was the best he could offer, Harry asked hopefully, "Can we go back to being friends first?" A dejected look appeared on Fred's face but he nodded, accepting Harry's offer. "I'm not saying I don't want anything to happen. I do. I just can't do it now," Harry said, giving Fred a small but genuine smile.

"Just wait and see what happens?" Fred said, looking directly at Harry.

"Yep, just wait and see," Harry agreed.

"I better go, I suppose," Fred said, sounding as though he didn't want to leave, but he realized there was nothing else they could achieve today. He got out of his chair and looked down at Harry, unsure.

"I call you after Christmas," Harry said picking up on Fred's uncertainty and getting up from the couch, he moved over to Fred. "We'll hang out, do something together as friends."

Feeling a little uncomfortable but wanting to reassure Fred that they still had a chance, Harry held out his arms and embraced Fred awkwardly. He didn't object when Fred locked his arms around him and hugged him for all he was worth. Fred's embrace and even his scent, were so familiar to Harry he felt himself relax in Fred's arms. It made him feel safe and comfortable. When Fred burrowed his face in Harry's neck, Harry felt Fred's tears leaking onto his skin and, in a silent offer of support; Harry squeezed back, returning the pressure of the hug.

How long they stayed like that Harry couldn't be certain but it wasn't until he was sure Fred had stopped crying that he broke the contact. "You better go," Harry said quietly as he took a step back.

"Well, I guess I'll talk to you soon," Fred said taking another step back from Harry so he would have room to apparate.

"I call you in a couple of day's," Harry smiled. He heard Fred mumble a quiet good-bye and then the boy was gone. Sighing Harry headed for the staircase.

When Harry got to the stop of the stairs, Harry saw Sirius sitting in the small lounge just outside Harry's bedroom. He had his eyes shut and his fists were clenched. Harry smiled and deliberately stepped on the creaky floorboard to alert his godfather.

Sirius' eyes snapped open immediately and he uncurled his fist, "Are you okay, Harry?" he asked in concern.

"I'm fine," Harry said and he meant it. "I'll just get ready, then we can go."

"It's alright, I can go by myself," Sirius offered worriedly.

"I want to go," Harry reassured his godfather. "I've got to buy a Christmas present as well."

The End