The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...
When in the midst of
all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your
tracks and somewhere the
voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough
fighting and crying or
struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting
down after a blind
tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder
once or twice, you blink
back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes
you begin to look at the
world through new eyes. This is your awakening.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and
waiting for something to
change, or for happiness, safety and security to
come galloping over the
next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that
he is not Prince Charming
and you are not Cinderella and that in the real
world there aren't always
fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter)
and that any guarantee of
"happily ever after" must begin with you, and in the
process... a sense of
serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the
fact that you are not
perfect, and that not everyone will always love,
appreciate or approve of
who or what you are... and that's OK. (They are
entitled to their own views
and opinions.) And you learn the importance of
loving and championing
yourself, and in the process...a sense of newly
found confidence is born of
self-approval. You stop bitching and blaming other
people for the things
they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn
that the only thing you
can really count on is the unexpected. You learn
that people don't always
say what they mean or mean what they say, and that
not everyone will always
be there for you, and that it's not always about
you. So, you learn to
stand on your own and to take care of yourself and
in the process... a sense
of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin
to accept people as
they are, and to overlook their shortcomings and
human frailties and, in the
process... a sense of peace & contentment is born of
forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself,
and the world around
you, is a result of all the messages and opinions
that have been ingrained
into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all
the crap you've been fed
about how you should behave, how you should look,
how much you shouldn't
weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop,
what you should drive,
how and where you should live, what you should do
for a living, who you
should sleep with, who you should marry, what you
should expect of a
marriage, the importance of having and raising
children, or what you owe
your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and
different points of
view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who
you are and what you
really stand for. You learn the difference between
wanting and needing, and
you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've
outgrown, or should
never have bought into to begin with, and in the
process... you learn to go
with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we
receive. And that there is
power and glory in creating and contributing, and
you stop maneuvering
through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your
next fix. You learn
that principles such as honesty and integrity are
not the outdated ideals of
a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the
foundation upon which
you must build a life. You learn that you don't know
everything, it's not
your job to save the world, and that you can't teach
a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and
responsibility, and the
importance of setting boundaries and learning to say
NO. You learn that the
only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry,
and that martyrs get
burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and
familial love. How to love, how
much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when
to walk away. You learn
not to project your needs or your feelings onto a
relationship. You learn
that you will not be more beautiful, more
intelligent, more lovable, or
important because of the man or woman on your arm or
the child that bears
your name. You learn to look at relationships as
they really are and not as
you would have them be. You stop trying to control
people, situations, and
outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and
change, so it is with
love.... and you learn that you don't have the right
to demand love on your
terms... just to make you happy. And, you learn that
alone does not mean
lonely...

And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the
fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10
and you
stop trying to compete
with the image inside your head and agonizing over
how you "stack up." You
also stop working so hard at putting your feelings
aside, smoothing things
over, and ignoring your needs. You learn that
feelings of entitlement are
perfectly OK.... and that it is your right to want
things and to ask for the
things that you want...and that sometimes it is
necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be
treated with
love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect, and you
will not settle for less.
And you allow only the hands of a lover who
cherishes you, to glorify you
with his or her touch... and in the process you
internalize the meaning of
self-respect. And you learn that your body really is
your temple. You begin
eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and
taking more time to
exercise.

You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and
can create doubt and fear,
so you take more time to rest. And, just as food
fuels the body, laughter
fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and
to play.

You learn that, for the most part, in life you get
what you believe you
deserve... and that much of life truly is a
self-fulfilling prophecy. You
learn that anything worth achieving is worth working
for, and that wishing
for something to happen is different from working
toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve
success, you need
direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also
learn that no one can do
it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for
help. You learn that the
only thing you must truly fear is the great robber
baron of all time. FEAR
itself. You learn to step right into and through
your fears, because you
know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to
give in to fear is to
give away the right to live life on your terms.

And you learn to fight for your life and not to
squander it living under a
cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't
always fair, you don't
always get what you think you deserve, and that
sometimes bad things happen
to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you
learn not to
personalize things. You learn that God isn't
punishing you or failing to
answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And
you learn to deal with
evil in its most primal state - the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger,
envy, and resentment must
be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate
the life out of you and
poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to
admit when you are
wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You
learn to be thankful and
to take comfort in many of the simple things we take
for granted, things
that millions of people upon the earth can only
dream about; a full
refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed,
a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for
yourself... by yourself, and
you try to make yourself a promise -- to never
betray yourself and to never
ever to settle for less than your heart's desire.
And you hang a wind chime
outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
And you make it a point
to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open
to every wonderful
possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and
with God by your side,
you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you
begin to design the life
you want to live as best as you can.

Author - Virginia Swift
Used with her permission

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