Recently, I've grown attracted to my brother.  But when we have sex he refuses to wear a condom.  I don't want to get AIDS! R.G. Ben:  You should probably run and tell someone you trust - someone that could force him to do what you want like your dad or your teacher. R.G. Albert:  Yeah, my dad forced me to wear a diaper to school from fifth to eighth grade.  He was right to do it, too. R.G. the Lizard:  Don't you two realize what she's talking about?  That's incest. R.G. Albert:  In Cest?  Where's that?  Is that in Riverdale? R.G. Ben:  You know, Al, denial ain't just a river in Egypt. R.G. Albert:  Damn, straight. R.G. the Lizard:  What?  That doesn't even make sense! R.G. Ben:  Look, R.G., I think we got this one covered.  It's not exactly too complicated. R.G. Albert:  Exactly, Lizzy.  Now, this condom thing.  It's almost the millenium.  Tell your brother to let his penis run free from its latex prison! R.G. Ben:  Don't go and do that when you're in prison, though. R.G. Albert:  Yeah, in prison they'll rape you for that. R.G. Ben:  In the butt. R.G. Albert:  Yeah. R.G. Ben:  That's gross. They don't use condoms either. R.G. Albert:  That . . . uh . . .  sucks R.G. Ben:  Um, Al, do you even know what a condom is? R.G. Albert:  I don't see how that matters. R.G. the Lizard:  Of course it matters!!!  This girl is BANGING her brother for God's sake!!! R.G. Albert:  And it's beautiful! R.G. Ben:  Yeah, who are you to get in the way of love?  Commy bastard! R.G. Albert:  Yeah, you dirty communist!  Commit your hate crimes somewhere else! R.G. the Lizard:  What?  What does wearing a condom have to do with communism? R.G. Ben:  That's EXACTLY what a condomist . . . I mean, communist would say!  Think about what you're saying. R.G. Albert:  This girl's being responsible.  She's trying to insure she doesn't get any of those STD's that are going around. R.G. Ben:  I suppose you're against that, too, R.G.? R.G. the Lizard:  I can't believe I'm hearing this.  Not only are her actions irresponsible, they're extremely immoral!  She's fucking her sibling! R.G. Albert:  Yeah, thats nothing you ever did, is it? R.G. Ben:  Do we need to play the video? R.G. the Lizard:  That was completely different.  I had hatched a day before she did.  When she hatched I was miles away.  I didn't know she was my sister! R.G. Ben:  Didn't we tell you she was your sister? R.G. Albert:  Everytime you mentioned that "special bond" you felt "right from the start," we told you she was a relative of yours. R.G. the Lizard:  You guys were joking about that! R.G. Albert:  No, we were serious. R.G. the Lizard:  Then how come you'd always hit me and throw beer cans at me when you told me about my "sister?" R.G. Ben:  That's just our way. R.G. the Lizard:  OW!  Why did you throw that?! R.G. Albert:  . . .  R.G. Ben:  . . . R.G. the Lizard:  I think we should answer this girl's question now. R.G. Albert:  You sure it's a girl? R.G. Ben:  Heh, good one, man. R.G. Albert:  Yeah. R.G. the Lizard:  *sigh* R.G. Ben:  Look, lady, you can't get AIDS from your brother.  That's a medical fact.  Just make sure you don't kiss him.  That's an easy way to catch crabs, trust me. R.G. Albert:  Why is R.G. crying?