QuestionI just hit a pedestrian driving home today.  I fled from the scene of the accident, but now I noticed I wrecked my bumper something fierce!  Also, I think the pedestrian I hit was a famous person.  What should I do?
AnswerR.G. Albert:  Oooh, a famous person!  This is an R.G. first!
R.G. Ben:  I wonder who it was.
R.G. Albert:  Hey, was it a comic book writer or drawer or something?
R.G. the Lizard:  They advice-seekers can't answer back, guys.  Once they ask the question they're out of the conversation.
R.G. Albert:  Well, that blows.  We'll just have to guess ourselves.
R.G. Ben:  Was it Brian Michael Bendis?  I hear he just got killed in a car
accident.
R.G. the Lizard:  She can't answer you.
R.G. Albert:  Heh, Lizzy said "she."  As if the bad driver must be a girl.  Oh, and what happened to BMB was that his wife glued his thing to his thing.  You're thinking of Jan Michael Vincent.
R.G. Ben:  You're right.  All those 3-named people confuse me.  And what kind of asshole names their kid Something Michael Something.  They should all be shot.
R.G. the Lizard:  Whoa, there!  You can't say that!  If one of those parents ends up dead, we'll be prime suspects.
R.G. Albert:  You mean YOU'LL be a prime suspect.
R.G. the Lizard:  Huh?
R.G. Albert:  You're the only real person here, you sexist ectotherm!  The rest of us are fictional.
R.G. Ben:  I got the new Train album yesterday.
R.G. Albert:  I know.  I was with you.
R.G. Ben:  Oh, yeah.
R.G. Albert:  So have you listened to the whole thing yet?
R.G. Ben:  No, I've just been listening to Drops of Jupitor on repeat.  I try not to cry through the whole thing, but I always lose it at the line about "the Milky Way."  It reminds me of a pet who died.
R.G. Albert:  That dog you had that died?
R.G. Ben:  No, my pet lizard.  The one that used to give advice with us.
R.G. Albert:  Ba-dum bum!
R.G. Ben:  Thank you!  Thank you!
R.G. the Lizard:  Can we stay on-topic, please?  I really don't appreciate this.  We haven't even started with our advice yet.
R.G. Albert:  Ok, anyway, what our advice-seeker up there should do is pretend that none of this ever happened.
R.G. the Lizard:  No, actually, what she should do is call the police immediately and turn herself in.
R.G. Ben:  Great, that'll get her arrested.  Brilliant advice.  By the way, that was sarcasm.
R.G. Albert:  And stop referring to her as a "she?"  She never said she was a chick!
R.G. Ben:  Could it be that Lizzy . . . assumed?
R.G. Albert:  And we know what happens when Lizzy assumes, don't we?
R.G. Ben:  He . . . spends the night in the box!
R.G. the Lizard:  I am not amused.
R.G. Ben:  We're serious.  We have the box ready and everything.  C'mon, you can't send one of our readers to prison!
R.G. Albert:  Yeah, then we'd have to answer questions like "I'm in jail now, and the guards rape me repeatedly all day and night.  How can I get revenge on Lizzy?"
R.G. Ben:  You don't want us helping another person with their revenge
scheme, do you?
R.G. the Lizard:  No! No, not again . . .
R.G. Albert:  So?
R.G. the Lizard:  So just forget any of this ever happened . . .
R.G. Augie De Blieck Jr.:  Hey, guys!  Augie here to throw my two cents into the ring!
R.G. Ben:  Where the hell did you come from!?  We were finished!
R.G. Albert:  No guest stars this week!
R.G. the Lizard:  Quiet you guys, let's hear what he has to say.
R.G. Augie De Blieck Jr.:  I know that as a columnist with a politically conservative slant I'm a bit of a rarity in the field of comic book journalist, but--
R.G. Ben:  Stop!  You ruin everything!
R.G. Albert:  Box?
R.G. Ben:  Box.
R.G. the Lizard:  He doesn't fit!  Please, stop!
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