I like to cut myself when my parents yell at me.  Sometimes I just feel so isolated and lonely I don't know where to turn.  Is this wrong? R.G. Ben:  Whoa, that's a dilly of a pickle, little girl! R.G. the Lizard:  Hey, how do you know that's a girl? R.G. Albert:  Let's be honest, only girls cut themselves!  Guys would just drink BEER and work on their CARS. R.G. Ben:  And anyway, let's not waste time, because we've got a special guest! R.G. Albert:  That's right!  From Powers, Ultimate Spidey, Ultimate Marvel Team-Up, Ultimate Death's Head II, Alias, Journey Into Mystery, Elektra . . . R.G. Ben:  . . . Witchblade, Shi, Youngblood, The Mighty Mutanimals, Ambush Bug Unlimited, Punisher War Journal, Fem Force, Torso, Cherry Poptart, The Champions . . . R.G. Albert:  . . . Fighting American, Jinx, Jungle God, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Will Eisner's The Spirit, Sam & Twitch, Kathy Keene, Phantom Lady . . . R.G. Ben:  . . . Gen 13: Bootleg, Adventures of Dark Claw, Tank Girl: The Official Movie Adaptation, Silver Surfer Adventures, Adventures Of Jell-O Man and Wobbly, Daredevil, At Home With Lieutenant Renee Montoya . . . R.G. Albert:  . . . and Fortune & Glory...it's Brian Michael Bendis! R.G. BENDIS!:  Thanks for the intro, guys.  Now fuck off!!! R.G. the Lizard:  Hey, this guy is kind of a jerk. R.G. Ben:  Yeah, isn't that awesome? R.G. Albert:  So, back to the nutjob with the safety scissors.  Hey, fatty, maybe next time you can cut some of that fat off! R.G. Ben:  Seriously.  God knows you'd be doing us all a favor! R.G. the Lizard:  Hey, cutting yourself out of anger or frustration is actually a serious problem.  Technically, it's known as...how do you know she's fat? R.G. BENDIS!:  Technically, it's known as "you're an idiot." R.G. Ben:  Hahahaha!  That's a great one! R.G. Albert:  Listen, dorkchop, the joke's on you!  "Lonely" and "isolated" mean the same things!  I'd cut myself, too, if I didn't know that! R.G. Ben:  And how can she be lonely?  Isn't she surrounded by her FAT all the time?  What more do you need, chubs? R.G. BENDIS!:  This reminds me of when Mack and I make fun of fat people.  Except that we do it a lot more intelligently. R.G. Albert:  So, fattykins.  Let me guess why you cut yourself: boyfriend broke up with you? R.G. Ben:  Hey, Al, I think I know why he broke up with her -- because he's fat! R.G. BENDIS!:  You know, there are times when I remember why I love comics and got into this business.  This is not one of the times, fuckers. R.G. the Lizard: Man, he's even more insensitive than you! R.G. Albert: Isn't it grand? R.G. the Lizard: So listen, please, whoever you are, you need to seek professional help immediately.  It is imperative that you-- R.G. Ben:  It is imperative that you stay away from the fudge, missy!  Hey, Al, you know those episodes of Friends when they flash back and Courtney Cox is in the fat suit? R.G. Albert:  Yeah.  Hilarious! R.G. Ben:  I know, I know.  I bet this chick looks like that. R.G. Albert:  Except fatter, natch.  And not hot like Courtney Cox! R.G. Ben:  Whoo, I knew she was a fox back in her Masters Of The Universe The Motion Picture days! R.G. the Lizard:  How can you get so off-track? R.G. BENDIS!:  UNBREAKABLE DVD - A great 2-disc set for a movie a lot of people missed out on. R.G. Albert:  So listen broad, next time, try cutting that big huge gut full of bon-bons!   R.G. Ben:  Or maybe cut your mouth so much that it actually closes and then you won't eat so much anymore. R.G. BENDIS!:  POWERS COLORING AND ACTIVITY BOOK SPECIAL - makes Dark Knight Returns look like a festering pile of shit. R.G. the Lizard:  Wow.  This is just... R.G. Albert:  Awesome? R.G. Ben:  It sure is!  See you next time, kids!