Top Ten Spider-Man Euphemisms for Masturbation by Albert Ching and Bryan Hurley 10. Wrestling with Scorpion's tail  9. Playing with JJJ's mustache  8. Making your Spider-Sense tingle  7. Shooting your web-fluid  6. Playing with Doc Ock's tentacles  5. Shining the webshooter  4. Waxing the Goblin Glider  3. Adjusting the focus of Peter Parker's camera  2. Bonding with your symbiote  1. John Byrne