Welcome to Instant Emo.com! We here at Instant Emo Inc. promise that after three simple steps, you will be turned Emo no matter what teenage stereotype you are! All this for the INSANELY cheap price of ONLY $19.95!!! #

In THREE small steps, convert any Skater, Nerd, Punk, Skank, Gangsta or Surfer into an Emo!!!

THREE EASY STEPS:

Step 1 - Appearance

Learn how to apply Emo make-up, what colours to use, and what colours to avoid.
Find out the best clothing choices, shirts, pants, dresses, hats, shoes, underwear, and the best places to find them

Step 2 - Depression

Find reasons in your life to be depressed, no matter how minor
Learn what depressing music to listen to, what music is truely Emo, and what is just plain gay

Step 3 - Self-Infliction

Learn how to properly cut yourself, causing minimum damage, maximum pain, blood, and scaring
Find out the best places to cut yourself, whether it's for pain, or just simply for sympathy
Learn slow and painful methods of killing yourself

After following these three quick and easy steps, we promise that you will have fully converted to Emo, with no hope of turning back.

HEY BOYS: Turning Emo raises your appearance making you look hotter, and drops your ego making you feel like shit! The perfect combination for picking up the ladies!!

HEY GIRLS: Boys just love a cute, depressed girl he can comfort and cut his wrists with!!

CALL NOW!!
1800-INT-EMO

"Before, I was a happy Surfer, now after Instant Emo, I am depressed and have over a hundred scars!"

"After becoming Emo, the ladies have been all over me!"

"Wow it really works!"

"Instant Emo was the greatest scam I ever threw my money away for!"

"The boys just love me now that I have gone Emo, whether it's the black tight outfits, heavy make-up to hide my ugly face, or the scars, I am just constantly getting boys walk up to me and ask for my number!"

"I used to just be a hot slutty cheerleader, but now I'm a boring depressed Emo! Instant Emo has worked so well! I am even planning my own funeral for next week! It's a real drag being Emo!"

Just a few examples of the amazing feedback we recieved from our sad customers!

Before and After Images!!

BEFORE AFTER

BEFORE AFTER

WITH SO MANY GREAT RESULTS, WE GUARENTEE YOU WILL TURN EMO AND HAVE THE WORST TIME OF YOUR SHORT LIFE!! WITH PROOF LIKE THIS, WHY WAIT?!

# Seven weekly payments of $19.95, total price $139.65
WARNING: Use only as directed. May cause severe scaring, depression and/or suicide. Not suitable for children under the age of 8. Not suitable for adults over the age of 21. For temporary use only. Instant Emo Inc. claim no responsibility for damages caused to self after product use. This product may not even work. In fact, do not use this product at all. It's not even a real product. You could do it all yourself for free if you had the brains. Still give me all your money!

Original idea created by the lovely Codie!!

For more see www.sykospark.net.