The story of the ongoing conflict between myself and the ghost pirate LeLogan is well documented. In fact, it’s probably one of the longest feuds in history. I can only recall the Final Fantasy games having more sequels than ours as a matter of fact. Those guys are far too serious for my liking anyway. Personally, I think Cloud Strife needs a rocket up his ass… but we’ll save that debate for a rainy day.

Now, onto LeLogan.

As I was saying, we go back a long way. Back at the Governor's mansion, we had our first of many altercations. Since then, I’d always managed to come out on top. That’s because kicking ghost pirate ass is what I do best!

It’s actually crazy to think that every pirate on Melee Island was scared of this guy, yet a man named Guybrush was eventually the person to rid the seas of him. I actually remember talking to some guy back in the Scumm bar and being told that LeLogan was the devil himself! Sure, he may have looked a little creepy and smelled slightly off… but I’d have to say that the guy was more like God than anything else!

Think about it.

When I walked onto Melee Island all those years ago, I was just a man with a ponytail and a hairy chest. I was free to roam the streets without being mobbed by thousands of women and being heralded as the man that destroyed the greatest evil that the Caribbean had ever seen. I was just little old Guybrush Champion… a wannabe pirate.

Now though, I’m an international superstar! My name is feared in every dirty corner of the world and I’ll be universally remembered as the man that brought an end to the tyrannous control that LeLogan commanded over the seas. Without this man, I’d still probably be drinking in the Scumm bar with the same old, drunken faces. I love LeLogan! The guy made me what I am today!

They’ve made four games based around our feud and the fifth is in the pipeline!

So, believe me when I say that LeLogan is the Messiah. He's done so much for my career and he'll never know it. So now, I ask you all to join me in prayer. That's it. Close your eyes and think about everything he's done for me.

LeLogan, I love you, man. You're the Messiah after all...

But I’ll always be the one to cash in on it.