Seven years on and my younger brother was still flashing me that very same look. It didn’t bother me too much though. I was in Disney World and this was a place I’d dreamed of since I was about four. I can’t really describe the emotions that surged through my body as I stood in front of Disney’s world famous Castle armed with a map, a cheeky grin and a pair of white shorts.

Let me tell you though, it was better than sex, mainly because my ex-girlfriend was awful in the sack… but never the less it was still true.

“Oh, for God’s sake! Just carry it for him, Christopher!”

“Whatever.”

A few short arguments later and I’m waiting in line with my kid brother for a photo with Mickey Mouse. Now, not only does the idea of dressing up and making money out of it, sound appealing… it also reminds me of my good friend Michael Trey. Surely, if the HWF is the Magic Kingdom, Michael Trey is Mickey fucking Mouse?

Obviously, you could look towards the big ears and goofy shorts for similarities, but I’m really referring to their character traits. They’re both just a little too ‘good’ for my liking. Everything about Trey and Mickey is so cut and dry. Even guys like Peter Pan aren’t as straight as Trey; do you honestly think Tinkerbell was legal when they got it on for the first time?

Fuck all these parallels though. Disney World is bigger than Michael Trey will ever be.

Onward we go.

“Mum! Mum!” says my youngest brother. He’s only seven. Lovely, isn’t he?

“What’s up, Ross?”

“Why are all these American people fatter than us?”

That was it! All hands to the deck! Battle stations! My little brother had dropped a clanger in a theme park with over fifty thousand people walking around. In a vain damage limitation attempt, my Mum rushed over and threw her left palm onto his mouth. The poor guy didn’t know what was happening. He’d made a perfectly valid comment and my Mum was making it look like a terrorist attack was in progress.

Naturally, I was in stitches.

“Will you shut up and stop adding to the scene?” said my Mum, throwing a glare in my direction.

With one final giggle, I took up my usual position of silence. She worried too much about the world around her. What’s the point in living your life and being bothered about how other people view you? As I looked around the theme park on that day, stared at the people that had noticed my little brother’s comments, I knew that they’d have forgotten everything within five minutes. Why did my Mum bother making such a fuss about it?

Women are illogical. People are illogical, for that matter.

Collins always say stuff like that. You know, the sort of thing that makes you sound clever? Shawn’s a good guy, but I wouldn’t say he’s overly intelligent. He’s pretty much the same as me… he just uses a dictionary before he opens his mouth.

Sometimes I think I should use a dictionary before I open my mouth… that way I might not have to wear togas whilst cutting promos.

It’s all the same though. Whether I’m wearing a toga or not, work is slowly becoming something I never expected it to be. It’s not Disney World anymore. Hell, it’s not even in the same state.

Collins, Trey, Mickey Mouse, Cross… everyone. They’re all contributing…

Sending me back to my childhood.

Back to my room.

Back to my prison.