There’s a festival atmosphere inside of the Manchester Evening News Arena. A fanfare of trumpets plays and is accompanied by some weird carnival like music. Hundreds of people have gathered to see the retiring legend say goodbye to the biggest wrestling company of them all in style. Finally, as the announcer leaves, a teary eyed Chris Champion makes his way to centre stage dressed in a black tuxedo.

The audience erupts.

“Thank you!” he begins, trying to refrain from turning on the water works. The audience sits patiently as they await the legend’s last words. “Sweet Jesus. I never thought I’d get this far. You know, seeing all you people here for me – it fills me with… you know… Ah, sh-”

Champion tries to steady himself, but he can’t. A faint tear trickles down the side of his chin and that in turn triggers a few more. The crowd cheer expectantly and, in turn, Chris smiles. He tries once again…

“I’m not going to stand out here and thank you people anymore, because I’m full of emotion as you can see and… well, this is hard for me,” he says with a struggle. “Wrestling has been with me my whole life. Well, almost anyway. It feels kind of weird that I’m closing this chapter now. I respect that there will be people that I’m never going to see again because of it too. However, I feel the time is right… the legs just aren’t what they used to be!”

Everyone makes crappy jokes when giving these kinds of speeches.

“I’d like to thank a few more people though for helping me through the years. Firstly, my Mum… she’s sitting in the second row over there. The support she provided me with over the years was everything I needed. Without that little lady, the Earth would have one less asshole!”

Yet another crappy joke. The chicks love that sort of thing though.

“My Dad was also a very important part of my life. I always felt that I could go to him for advice and tell him things. I just hope the old man is up there looking down on me with some sense of pride right now…”

A faint flutter of applause ripples towards the front of the arena as Chris turns his back on the people once more. He’d never really coped with his father’s death… In fact, he never coped well with any death. It was certainly tough for him to talk about.

“I’m sorry,” he stuttered, before shaking his head one more time. “I’m going to try and cut this a little short. That way we can all go and eat cake in the reception backstage a lot sooner!”

Ok, so that particular joke didn’t go down too well, but… this is Chris Champion. He’s not the world’s funniest man, despite wanting to be.

“I’d like to, finally, pay tribute to the single largest influence on my career though before I depart. We’re talking about a guy here that toughened me as a character and helped me along some pretty difficult times. I owe him a lot because there were occasions when the spotlight was a little too bright – and I could have spiralled out of control. I nearly quit the company back in 2004… however, one man helped me through the bad times,” introduced Chris with a wry smile. “Shawn Collins.”

The audience stand up upon hearing his name and break into applause. In turn, Champion too claps his hands… and looks skywards.

“Shawn, I hope you’re watching, man. Everything you see here today… this is the legacy that you helped create. I’m just sad that we never got to have that rematch. Maybe, one day, we will.”

Emotional applause this time. Champion bows. The crowd go crazy. He lifts a fake HWF World title above his head and is declared the greatest athlete to ever grace the Planet. Not only that, but he’s awarded the Nobel peace prize for his investment into cancer research and he’s ‘Times man of the year’ for two decades running.

Later on in the year, he’s made Pope, before dissolving the Catholic Church altogether and founding a new religion of his own.

Chris Champion. Greatest single person to grace the Planet… ever.

Choose your destiny?